#1 humor site on the 'net

Where Did He Go?

Police search for rooftop suspect

Where Did He Go? thanks to Curtis Dolton

QuotaBills
Not failure, but low aim, is crime. - J. R. Lowell

All people look better under arrest. - John Waters

Crime does not pay as well as politics. - Alfred E. Newman

A friend to honesty and a foe to crime. - Allan Pinkerton

Suspicion often creates what it suspects. - C S Lewis

Show me a liar, and I'll show you a thief. - George Herbert

Poverty is the parent of revolution and crime. - Aristotle

Obviously crime pays, or there'd be no crime. - G. Gordon Liddy

Is it a bigger crime to rob a bank or to open one? - Ted Allan

The robbed that smiles, steals something from the thief. - William Shakespeare

I think crime pays. The hours are good, and you travel a lot. - Woody Allen

Police Station: A place where sleeping is all right in a pinch - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Don King is a big ... thief, and everyone in this room knows it. - Donald Trump

Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. - George Bernard Shaw

I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin

When a police officer tells you to stay in the car, you stay in the car. - Reese Witherspoon

Save a thief from the gallows and he will be the first to cut your throat. - Italian Proverb

Sleeping is my drug; my bed is my dealer; and my alarm clock is the police. - Unknown

The police force cannot be completely independent of the executive government. - P Chidambaram

I am kind of paranoid in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy. - J.D. Salinger

Growing old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you haven't committed. - Anthony Powell

Blind commitment to a theory is not an intellectual virtue: it is an intellectual crime. - Imre Lakatos

I'm the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night... and reduce the crime rate. - Phyllis Diller

When a man commits the same crime twice, and is not punished, it seems to him permissible. - Talmud

The greatest thief this world has ever produced is procrastination, and he is still at large. - Josh Billings

A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown

The police feel that most of the public are against them and that there is a lot of bad feeling. - Peter James

A policeman must know everything - and not tell. He must know where all the sin is and not partake. - Paul Harvey

Police officers may drive black and white cars, however what goes on in their job is a lot of gray. - Arik Matson

A holding company is a thing where you hand an accomplice the goods while the policeman searches you. - Will Rogers

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest. - Kin Hubbard

In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period. Every crime ends with a sentence. - Steven Wright

The crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other day the Statue of Liberty had both hands up. - Jay Leno

I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife. - Ilie Nastase

When I was a kid, one cop could have taken care of the whole neighborhood. Now, one cop wouldn't be safe in the neighborhood. - Mike Royko

There is a blessed necessity by which the interest of men is always driving them to the right, and making all crime mean and ugly. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I think our police are excellent, probably because I have not done anything that has occasioned being beaten up by these good men. - Clement Freud

I love to play hide and seek with my kid, but some days my goal is to find a hiding place where he can't find me until after high school. - Unknown

Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list. - Yakov Smirnoff

When you have police officers who abuse citizens, you erode public confidence in law enforcement. That makes the job of good police officers unsafe. - Mary F Berry


Been Lapped

How To Use The New 1940 Dial Telephone

Garmin Drive

Redneck Bucket List

Rotating Illusion - Pink Eye Trick

Boneless Bananas

That's My Bed

Eye For Coffee

Logging Moose

Firemen's Revenge

Just In Thyme

Kapalua Resort - The Plantation Course

Alberta Hood Ornament

Outside Urinal

Fixer-Uppers

Just Divorced

Flannel Frontier

Humour in the Workplace

Colour Wheel

Milky Way

Security Guard

Wet Floor Caution

Stealth Birdhouse

Volvorine