#1 humor site on the 'net

WipeOut

Beware of using too much toilet paper

WipeOut thanks to Barry McCartney

It'll get you in the end...

QuotaBills
Vote early and vote often. - Al Capone

Politics is an inexact science. - Otto von Bismarck

The gun is not out of Irish politics. - Ian Paisley

In politics the middle way is none at all. - John Adams

In politics an absurdity is not a handicap. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Every country has the government it deserves. - Joseph de Maistre

Talk is cheap... except when Congress does it. - Unknown

I never saw anything funnier than Texas politics. - Molly Ivins

Politics is not a game. It is an earnest business. - Winston Churchill

Turn on to politics, or politics will turn on you. - Ralph Nader

Politics is the art of controlling your environment. - Hunter S. Thompson

The problem with political jokes is they get elected. - Henry Cate, VII

If men were angels, no government would be necessary. - James Madison

The Golden Rule has no place in a political campaign. - John J Ingalls

The art of government is the organization of idolatry. - George Bernard Shaw

Self-government won't work without self-discipline. - Paul Harvey

Igloo: 1. An icicle built for two; 2. An Alaskan toilet. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Like toilet paper, laughter is in short supply these days. - Phil Callaway

I don't go around signin' no political documentaries. - Archie Bunker

Politics is for the present, but an equation is for eternity. - Albert Einstein

War has rules, mud wrestling has rules - politics has no rules. - Ross Perot

You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think. - Milton Berle

The most important political office is that of the private citizen. - Louis D. Brandeis

The duty of a patriot is to protect his country from its government. - Edward Abbey

An honest politician is one who, when he is bought, will stay bought. - Simon Cameron

Every politician should have been born an orphan and remain a bachelor. - Lady Bird Johnson

Freedom of opinion can only exist when the government thinks itself secure. - Bertrand Russell

The police force cannot be completely independent of the executive government. - P Chidambaram

Being a politician is a poor profession. Being a public servant is a noble one. - Herbert C Hoover

A filmmaker we almost lost to politics... my friend and colleague, Warren Beatty. - Jack Nicholson

Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated. - Will Rogers

Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business. - Tom Robbins

The secret of political bargaining is to look more strong than what you really are. - Subhash Bose

France is a country where the money falls apart but you can't tear the toilet paper. - Billy Wilder

That government is best which governs the least, because its people discipline themselves. - Thomas Jefferson

I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government. - Woody Allen

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks. - Doug Larson

Jitterbug: 1. A Scotchman in front of a pay toilet; 2. Insect that's had too much coffee. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But then I repeat myself. - Mark Twain

He knows nothing; and he thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career. - George Bernard Shaw

I think it's an absolute disaster that Australia, the government, allowed kangaroo culling. - Steve Irwin

It's our experience that political leaders don't always mean the opposite of what they say. - Abba Eban

The single most exciting thing you encounter in government is competence, because it's so rare. - Daniel P Moynihan

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have. - Thomas Jefferson

Politics, for years, or all too long, has been concerned with right or left instead of right or wrong. - Richard Armour

Ex-Presidents of the United States get state subsidies. Not so in Russia. You get no government support. - Mikhail Gorbachev

Politics is not the art of the possible. It consists in choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable. - John Kenneth Galbraith

If you put the federal government in charge of the Sahara Desert, in 5 years there'd be a shortage of sand. - Milton Friedman

150 people die every year from being hit by falling coconuts. Not to worry, drug makers are developing a vaccine. - Jim Carrey

Taxpayer - someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take the civil service examination. - Ronald Reagan

I have certain rules I live by. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. Nothing. Zero. - George Carlin

Politics is the only business where doing nothing other than making the other guy look bad is an acceptable outcome. - Mark Warner

Canada's political parties spend a few years in opposition and then govern as if it's permanent payback time. - Bob Rae

I'm not interested in cutting the feet off my characters or stretching them to make them fit my certain political view. - Margaret Atwood

It is not in the nature of politics that the best men should be elected. The best men do not want to govern their fellowmen. - George MacDonald

The workers' and peasants' government proposes to all warring peoples... negotiations leading to a just, democratic peace. - Lenin

A party of order or stability, and a party of progress or reform, are both necessary elements of a healthy state of political life. - John Stuart Mill

Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first. - Ronald Reagan

I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody, and I wouldn't lose any voters, okay? It's, like, incredible. - Donald Trump

Our future cannot depend on the government alone. The ultimate solutions lie in the attitudes and the actions of the American people. - Joe Biden

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

A politician should have three hats. One for throwing into the ring, one for talking through, and one for pulling rabbits out of if elected. - Carl Sandburg

I once said to my father, when I was a boy, 'Dad we need a third political party.' He said to me, 'I'll settle for a second.' - Ralph Nader

Regarded simply as a politician, and compared with the other leading political figures of our time, how clean a smell he has managed to leave behind. - Mahatma Gandhi


Rednecks At Play

She's A Keeper

Algebra Relationship

Pumpkin Races

Bed Equalizer

David's Return To Italy

Sick Pumpkin

Winning An Argument With A Woman

Why Dogs Bite Their Owners

Barcode Eyelashes

Howloween

Caviar Burger

Icelandic Police Donuts

Size Matters

Crowd Surfing - Expert Level

Dream The Impossible

When Life Gets You Down

Redneck Estate Sale

How To Tweet Others

Nutella Soother

Autumn Camouflage

Go Play Outside

Be Someone

Arkansas Divorce Application