#1 humor site on the 'net

Beer Cheers

Rising In The Yeast and Setting In The Waist

Beer Cheers thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
Yeast: A good razor - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Fat: Energy gone to waist - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee

A man's bar is his castle - Archie Bunker

Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King

The waist is a terrible thing to mind. - Tom Wilson

Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker

A mind is a waist if it can't create. - Chris Brown

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

Draft Dodger: Someone who avoids beer on tap. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Beer: The method of turning grain into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Syncopation: A lively movement from bar to bar - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You're a bartender, y'aint a mortrician. - Archie Bunker

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson

When I'm feeling athletic, I go to a sports bar. - Paul Clisura

Bladder: The human apparatus that pays the tax on beer - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Benjamin Franklin

Hand Scanner: Singles bar prowler looking for wedding rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Wilhelm II

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

A meal of bread, cheese, and beer constitutes the perfect food. - Queen Elizabeth I

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

I haven't understood a bar of music in my life, but I have felt it. - Igor Stravinsky

Middle age is when your broad mind and narrow waist begin to change places. - E Joseph Cossman

What we are doing is in the interest of everybody, bar possibly the consumer. - Unknown

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar. - WC Fields

All I want is peace, love, understanding, and a chocolate bar bigger than my head. - Unknown

Kidney: 1. Midpoint of a child's leg; 2. An organ used to convert beer into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

I was in a sushi bar and it dawned on me - how could I discriminate between a cow and a fish? - Carre Otis

I want a house with a garden, but slap bang in the centre of London. Next door to a sushi bar. - Michelle Dockery

Twists are wonderful for whittling your waist, stretching your back, and detoxifying the body. - Mandy Ingber

They don't make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery. - Bill Murray

Celebrate what you've accomplished, but raise the bar a little higher each time you succeed. - Mia Hamm

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

Muffin Top: The unsightly roll of flesh that spills over the waist of a pair of too-tight pants. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Nut Bar: someone who has a polar opposite world view which is contrary to your own biased opinions - Debbie Milne

I'm 42 around the chest, 52 around the waist, 92 around the golf course, and a nuisance around the house. - Groucho Marx

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

Strength is the capacity to break a Hershey bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of the pieces. - Judith Viorst

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'm pretty sure that eating chocolate keeps wrinkles away because I have never seen a 10 year old with a Hershey bar and crows feet. - Amy Neftzger

Average leaders raise the bar on themselves; good leaders raise the bar for others; great leaders inspire others to raise their own bar. - Orrin Woodward

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster

There must be some honest lawyers at the New York bar, and some impartial judges on the New York bench, but I should not like to be set to find them. - Lyman Abbott


Shofar So Good

Temple Car

Closing Time

Wine Glass Lanyard

Awning Truck Advertising

Plugged In

Org Chart - Simplified Version

Extreme Value

Instant Acrophobia

How To Hire Engineers

Business School Basics

Waterwheel Rotisserie

Elephant Bus

Promote Yourself

Time Machine

Redneck Engagement Ring

Forever Clean Toilet

Edible Clock

Up-Set & Hungry Trucks

Bear Pinata

Swim Vacation

What Are Your Skills?

Portable Barber Shop

Snail Trail