#1 humor site on the 'net

Canadian Dolphin

Things are going swimmingly up North!

Canadian Dolphin thanks to Barry McCartney

QuotaBills
Canada is hockey. - Mike Weir

A wounded deer leaps the highest. - Emily Dickinson

A bambiraptor is a savage baby dear. - Alan Davies

Focus: What Canadian politicians lack. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Donation: A country full of female deer - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Canada first, Canada last, Canada always. - Wilfrid Laurier

Deer hunters will do anything for a buck. - Unknown

Canada's the best country in the world. - Justin Bieber

Canada has two emblems - the beaver and the maple. - John W. Dawson

A Canadian is somebody who can make love in a canoe. - Margaret Lally

Canada is a great country, one of the hopes of the world. - Jack Layton

Canada is like a loft apartment over a really great party. - Robin Williams

I used to look like a deer in headlights on the red carpet. - Emily Blunt

A Canadian is sort of like an American, but without the gun. - Unknown

Deer hunting would be fine sport, if only the deer had guns. - W S Gilbert

Canadian cities looked the way American cities did on television. - William Gibson

If you call ham "Canadian bacon", what do you call bacon? - Michael Kelso

I love Canadians because I don't see very much racism in Canada. - Patti LaBelle

I've only been to these foreign countries: Canada, L.A. and Miami. - Larry the Cable Guy

For our immediate family and relatives, Canada was a land of opportunity. - Sidney Altman

If you need 100 rounds to kill a deer, maybe hunting isn't your sport. - Elayne Boosler

I used to go missing a lot... Miss Canada, Miss United Kingdom, Miss World. - George Best

I was in the ROTC. Of course, ROTC stood for "Running off to Canada." - Jay Leno

When you think of hockey, when you think of Canada, you think of Wayne Gretzky. - Joe Sakic

I saw a notice which said "Drink Canada Dry" and I've just started. - Brendan Behan

As far as single payer, it works in Canada. It works incredibly well in Scotland. - Donald Trump

I love Canada. I am from Canada. I will bash the Canadian government but never Canada. - Jason Priestley

An army of deer led by a lion is more to be feared than an army of lions led by a deer. - Philip II

In my cosmology, indigenous wild deer are more important than exotic ornamental shrubs. - Elizabeth M. Thomas

Canada is a good country to be from. It has a gentler slower pace - it lends perspective. - Paul Anka

I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart

Canada is founded upon principles that recognize the supremacy of God and the rule of law. - Stockwell Day

Canadian hockey fans... They boo me every time I go anywhere. Because I play for Team USA. - Brett Hull

South Africa is the most beautiful country I have been to. Canada is also hugely underrated. - Honor Blackman

We don't come to Canada for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves. - Prince Philip

Why is America the last best hope of Earth? What if it's Liechtenstein? Or, worse, Canada? - Sarah Vowell

Coming from Canada, being a writer and Jewish as well, I have impeccable paranoia credentials. - Mordecai Richler

Cajun is country food by farmers and fisherman that arrived in Louisiana from Acadiana, Canada. - Paul Prudhomme

I think every entrepreneur in Canada owes the next generation a road map of how to do it again. - Kevin O'Leary

The fabled musk deer searches the world over for the source of the scent which comes from itself. - Ramakrishna

Trudeau's contribution was not to build Canada but to destroy it, and I had to come in and save it. - Brian Mulroney

I have great, fond memories of Canada. I feel that one day my bones will more than likely end up there. - Aden Young

If the national mental illness of the United States is megalomania, that of Canada is paranoid schizophrenia. - Margaret Atwood

Make no mistake. Canada is not a bilingual country. In fact it is less bilingual today than it has ever been. - Stephen Harper

I have a huge interest in hockey because I grew up in Canada, where it's kind of the law that you love hockey. - Matthew Perry

Canada has given us John Candy and Martin Short and Bill Shatner and Lord knows how many other wonderful performers. - Jamie Farr

I love Canada. It makes a nice hat for America. When America runs out of water, it's the first place I'll go. - Ryan Reynolds

I was born in Canada for a reason. It was because my parents wanted me to have the freedoms that this country offers. - Patrick Chan

The nice thing about being detained in Canada is it's like being in a Days Inn; it's very clean and very nice. - Bill Ayers

I've been to Canada, and I've always gotten the impression that I could take the country over in about two days. - Jon Stewart

Canada is a balloon-puncturing country. You are not really allowed to be an icon unless you also make an idiot of yourself. - Margaret Atwood

In any world menu, Canada must be considered the vichyssoise of nations - it's cold, half-French, and difficult to stir. - Stuart Keate

When we save the rain forest, the polar bear, and Al Gore, we should party so hard that Canada calls the cops on us for noise. - Paula Poundstone

If you're skinny and you can't play hockey in Canada, you aren't left with a lot of options. I was left with running. - Malcolm Gladwell

Let me put it this way. Canada is not so much a country as a holding tank filled with the disgruntled progeny of defeated peoples. - Mordecai Richler

I have a maple leaf tattoo over my heart, quite literally, and my two favorite things on Earth are being in Canada and making movies. - Jay Baruchel

Canada is the essence of not being. Not English, not American, it is the mathematic of not being. And a subtle flavour - we're more like celery as a flavour. - Mike Myers

If you want to go foraging into the wilds of Canada without proper gear, you deserve what you get, even if that happens to include being attacked by an undead moose. - Mira Grant

Canada definitely produces the best wrestlers; I don't know why. I think Canada is a big wrestling country, and there are a lot of guys who are interested in wrestling in Canada. - Chris Jericho

Canada is a country of ingredients without a cuisine; we're a country with musicians without an indigenous instrument; Toronto's a city that doesn't even have a dish named after it. - Mike Myers

In Canada, we're happy to provide a safe haven for next-door neighbors in the middle of a marital dispute. And if anyone trips while crossing the border, we're happy to set their broken bones for free. - Douglas Coupland

The fans in Canada have been there since day one. They're the originals. When people say that's your roots, that's literally my roots. I've just cut this tree off and replanted it somewhere else and it started growing. - Russell Peters

When I consider that the noble animals have been exterminated here - the cougar, panther, lynx, wolverine, wolf, bear, moose, deer, the beaver, the turkey, etc - I cannot but feel as I lived in a tamed, and, as it were, emasculated country. - Henry David Thoreau

For those who aspire to live in a high cost, high tax, big government place, our nation and the world offers plenty of options. Vermont, Canada and Venezuela all offer you the opportunity to live in the socialist, big government paradise you long for. - Marco Rubio

I would say a must-do in Canada would be to go skiing at Whistler in Vancouver. You could take a chair lift for, like, a half hour to the top of this mountain, and you ski down; it takes like so long to get to the bottom. You go past the clouds. It's absolutely incredible. - Sebastian Bach


Reflective Art

Canadian Drive-Thru

Work At Home Mom

German Car Parkade

Dog Face or Dog Butt?

Trunk Minions

Despicable Watermelon

New Parking Spot For Women

Popcorn Cremation

Time Is Free

Fishing Trip in New Zealand

Happy 4th of July

Click Click Imaging Specialists

Awkward

Soldier Salute

You Turn

Australia 101 For Tourists

Horse Wood Sculpture

Changing Priorities Ahead

Fishing With Moses

Expired Marriage

Goose Walkers

Minion HotHead

Christopher Walken