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Cow Farts

Farm Flatulence takes on a whole new level

Cow Farts thanks to Tom Esler

QuotaBills
Stop and smell the roses. - Phoebe Moll

Each day has a color, a smell. - Chitra B. Divakaruni

In the dark, all cows are black. - German Proverb

His impromptus smell of the lamp. - Pytheas

Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. - Will Rogers

Vice-President: A cow's fifth teat. - Harry S Truman

I love the smell of napalm in the morning. - Apocalypse Now

Milk the cow but do not pull off the udder. - Greek Proverb

I actually get quite sad when I smell bacon. - Jane Velez-Mitchell

Why buy a cow if you can get the milk for free. - English Proverb

Epochodor: The smell of history found at museums - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance. - King George V

We can dance on pinheads till the cows come home. - Alastair Campbell

I consider exercise vulgar. It makes people smell. - Alec Yuill-Thornton

De-caffeinated: What a cow gets when it has a baby - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Perfume: Any smell that is used to drown a worse one. - Elbert Hubbard

I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder

I bet giraffes don't even know what farts smell like. - Bill Murray

Music can be made anywhere, is invisible and does not smell. - W H Auden

Change is like a charging cow. Don't ignore it - milk it. - Andrew Leigh

There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini

In the spring, at the end of the day, you should smell like dirt. - Margaret Atwood

I used to practice Tony speeches in my bathroom with my hairbrush. - Audra McDonald

Every bathroom in my house will ultimately have a Toto bidet in it. - Ken Marino

Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown

The first condition of understanding a foreign country is to smell it. - Rudyard Kipling

My wife likes the hockey smell because it's the smell of a warrior. - David Walton

You should never hesitate to trade your cow for a handful of magic beans. - Tom Robbins

I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick

A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers. - Grace Hansen

When a kid says "smell my hand," it almost never smells like cinnamon. - Brian P. Cleary

When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. - Karen Russell

There are two things that Jack Bauer never does. Show mercy, and go to the bathroom. - Kiefer Sutherland

Until you walk a mile in another man's moccasins you can't imagine the smell. - Robert Byrne

Trying to understand the behavior of some people is like trying to smell the color 9. - Muppets

After you cut off a person's nose there is no point in giving him a rose to smell. - Ravi Zacharias

At Disneyland, you never go 'backstage' - even when you're in the bathroom. - Hideo Kojima

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope

What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet. - William Shakespeare

Music Lover: A man, who upon hearing a soprano in the bathroom, puts his ear to the keyhole - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I was in a sushi bar and it dawned on me - how could I discriminate between a cow and a fish? - Carre Otis

Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. - Richard M Nixon

I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail

With every bathroom renovation, there are three areas that I focus on: budget, function and style. - Candice Olson

As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round. - Ben Hogan

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

Smell is a long-distance sense, a way of stretching time and finding out in advance what lies ahead. - Lyall Watson

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

Rectitude: The formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If I don't work, I'll be sitting on the couch watching TV, eating popcorn and getting like a cow. - Celia Cruz

I sleep with a light on in the bathroom so I can see where I'm at, because I wake up and have no clue. - Carrie Underwood

I could dance with you till the cows come home...
on second thought, I'll dance with the cows till you come home. - Groucho Marx

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

An idealist is one who, on noticing that roses smell better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup. - H L Mencken

My favorite thing about the Internet is that you get to go into the private world of real creeps without having to smell them. - Penn Jillette

Real angels don't have gossamer white robes and cherubic skin. They have calloused hands and smell of the days' sweat. - Richard Evans

For almost seventy years the life insurance industry has been a smug sacred cow feeding the public a steady line of sacred bull. - Ralph Nader

Hunters will tell you that a moose is a wily and ferocious forest creature. Nonsense. A moose is a cow drawn by a three-year-old. - Bill Bryson

I love cookies baking. During the winter, they have these candles that smell like cookies, and I always buy like a hundred of them. - Jared Padalecki

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

A good fart joke makes me bawl with laughter, so will somebody farting. And the word 'poo.' You can't beat a good poo joke. - Jenny Eclair

You're supposed to eat the cows. They're great big lumbering, stupid things - they'd be everywhere if we didn't eat them. - Dylan Moran

My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle


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