#1 humor site on the 'net

In Perfect Harmony

Friends agree on how to properly wear a canine face mask

In Perfect Harmony thanks to Amanda Walkey

QuotaBills
Friendship is a sheltering tree. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Love is a friendship set to music. - Joseph Campbell

A friend's eye is a good mirror. - Irish Proverb

Of course I know how to roll a joint. - Martha Stewart

How to turn your ex-boyfriend into a toad. - Athena Starwoman

A powerful friend becomes a powerful enemy. - African Saying

Every man is a volume, if you how to read him. - W. E. Channing

Prosperity makes friends; adversity tries them. - Publilius Syrus

I was a freethinker before I knew how to think. - George Bernard Shaw

Be slow in choosing a friend, slower in changing. - Benjamin Franklin

Spying between friends - that's just not done. - Angela Merkel

Telepathy: Being too lazy to give your friends a call - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A friend is someone with whom you dare to be yourself. - Frank Crane

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat. - Erma Bombeck

If you make friends with yourself you will never be alone. - Maxwell Maltz

He's the kind of man who picks his friends - to pieces. - Mae West

We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public. - Bryan White

Eros will have naked bodies; Friendship naked personalities. - C S Lewis

America has no permanent friends or enemies, only interests. - Henry Kissinger

Tell me who your friends are and I will tell you who you are. - Russian Proverb

It's the friends you can call up at 4:00 a.m. that matter. - Marlene Dietrich

We make more enemies by what we say than friends by what we do. - John C Collins

A man must eat a peck of salt with his friend before he knows him. - Miguel De Cervantes

Nothing is impossible... we merely don't know yet how to do it. - Unknown

Valedictory: A demonstration of how to wave bye-bye with the tongue - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The greatest thing in the world is to know how to belong to oneself. - Michel De Montaigne

A mother is your first friend, your best friend, your forever friend. - Unknown

It's easy to make a friend. What's hard is to make a stranger. - Unknown

A best friend is like a four leaf clover: hard to find, lucky to have. - Unknown

You could listen to Woody Guthrie songs and actually learn how to live. - Bob Dylan

What progress, you ask, have I made? I have begun to be a friend to myself. - Hecato

Those who cannot give friendship will rarely receive it, and never hold it. - Dagobert D. Runes

The great and glorious masterpiece of man is to know how to live to purpose. - Michel de Montaigne

I am always doing that which I cannot do, in order that I may learn how to do it. - Pablo Picasso

It is wise to apply the refined oil of politeness to the mechanism of friendship. - Colette

Friends are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the answer. - Ed Cunningham

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more. (Friend or Money!) - Unknown

The one thing you shouldn't do is try to tell a cab driver how to get somewhere. - Jimmy Fallon

Animals are such agreeable friends - they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms. - George Eliot

I always like to know everything about my new friends, and nothing about my old ones. - Oscar Wilde

Tease: A girl who is always thinking of a man’s happiness, and how to prevent it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Never explain. Your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe it anyway. - Elbert Hubbard

A true friend is the one that's coming in the door while everyone else is going out. - Dr. Phil McGraw

As your best friend, I'll always pick you up when you fall - after I finish laughing. - Unknown

Never make excuses. Your friends don't need them and your foes won't believe them. - John Wooden

When my friends and I played cowboys and Indians, I was always the Chinese railroad worker. - Robin Williams

If you don't know learn how to be scared, you'll never really learn how to be brave. - Simon Holt

We cherish our friends not for their ability to amuse us, but for our ability to amuse them. - Evelyn Waugh

Those who don't know how to weep with their whole heart, don't know how to laugh either. - Golda Meir

I like to put on a wig or a fake mustache and do something silly with friends, do a little dance. - Tom Lenk

Good friends are like shock absorbers. They help you take the lumps and bumps on the road of life. - Frank Tyger

No guest is so welcome in a friend's house that he will not become a nuisance after three days. - Plautus

If men could see the epitaphs their friends write they would believe they had got into the wrong grave. - American Proverb

Treat the Lord Jesus Christ as a personal friend. His is not a creed, a mere doctrine, but it is He Himself we have. - Dwight L Moody

You can always tell a real friend: when you make a fool of yourself, he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job. - Laurence Peter

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

Friendship... is born at the moment when one man says to another "What! You too? I thought that no one but myself..." - C S Lewis

Two may talk together under the same roof for many years, yet never really meet; and two others at first speech are old friends. - Mary Catherwood

Though my friends envied me because I always seemed so cheerful and confident, I was secretly terrified of practically everything. - Erica Jong

The piano is a universal instrument. If you start there, learn your theory and how to read, you can go on to any other instrument. - Eddie Van Halen

If a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it. - Edgar Watson Howe

Science will never be able to reduce the value of a sunset to arithmetic. Nor can it reduce friendship or statesmanship to a formula. - Louis Orr

The first virtue is to restrain the tongue; he approaches nearest to gods who knows how to be silent, even though he is in the right. - Cato The Elder

I like a quiet evening with family or friends over, great food and great discussion, and a lot of laughter. That's really what fills my tank. - Anna Eshoo

Guard well within yourself that treasure, kindness. Know how to give without hesitation, how to lose without regret, how to acquire without meanness. - George Sand


People Of The River

SUV Sinkhole

Hope

Blonde's 710 Cover

Dragon Playground

Redneck Boat Ramp

Jack-A-Lope vs Jack-E-Lope

Urleen

Carry On or Carrion?

Selfie Pilot

Monarch Butterflies - Starting a Monarchy

Air Couch

Europe Road Trip

Thongthing Special

Nighttime Graffiti

Baby Formula

Kid Suction

Redneck Moving Truck

Critter Control

Lost Dog

Nail Chair

Looking For Something?

Yellow Pet

Race Break