#1 humor site on the 'net

In Perfect Harmony

Friends agree on how to properly wear a canine face mask

In Perfect Harmony thanks to Amanda Walkey

QuotaBills
Few people know how to be old. - Maggie Kuhn

Prosperity is full of friends. - Euripides

Friends are the sunshine of life. - John Hay

A selfie a day keeps the friends away. - Unknown

Friends come and go but enemies accumulate. - Unknown

Friends are God's apology for relatives. - Hugh Kingsmill

A road to a friend's house is never long. - Danish Proverb

He who walks with the lame learns how to limp. - Latin Proverb

My friend has false teeth - with braces on them. - Steven Wright

Be slow in choosing a friend, slower in changing. - Benjamin Franklin

The first lesson reading teaches is how to be alone. - Jonathan Franzen

Telepathy: Being too lazy to give your friends a call - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat. - Erma Bombeck

Friendship redoubleth joys, and cutteth griefs in half. - Francis Bacon

What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies. - Aristotle

He who has learned how to obey will know how to command. - Solon

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? - Steven Wright

Many friends have been lost by jest, but few have been gained. - Unknown

Friends show their love in times of trouble, not in happiness. - Euripides

A good book is the best of friends, the same today and forever. - Martin F Tupper

Instead of loving your enemies treat your friends a little better. - Ed Howe

The friend is the man who knows all about you, and still likes you. - Elbert Hubbard

To like and dislike the same things, that is indeed true friendship. - Sallust

Friends are lost by calling too often and by not calling often enough. - French Proverb

A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down. - Arnold H. Glasgow

Tweeting is like sending out cool telegrams to your friends once a week. - Tom Hanks

What progress, you ask, have I made? I have begun to be a friend to myself. - Hecato

My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. - Clarence B. Kelland

The only reward of virtue is virtue; the only way to have a friend is to be one. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Few men have the natural strength to honour a friend's success without envy. - Aeschylus

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. - Gloria Steinem

Intelligence is not to make no mistakes, but to see quickly how to make them good. - Bertolt Brecht

People who drink to drown their sorrow should be told that sorrow knows how to swim. - Ann Landers

Often we have no time for our friends, but all the time in the world for our enemies. - Billy Joel

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, skill is knowing how to do it, and virtue is doing it. - David S Jordan

There's no road map on how to raise a family: it's always an enormous negotiation. - Meryl Streep

If you don't know learn how to be scared, you'll never really learn how to be brave. - Simon Holt

Tart words make no friends: A spoonful of honey will catch more flies than a gallon of vinegar. - Benjamin Franklin

Our friend Chewy doesn't speak much, but he chews a lot of tobacco so we call him Chewbacco. - Michael Diack

Never trust anyone who wants what you've got. Friend or no, envy is an overwhelming emotion. - Eubie Blake

A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows. - Doug Larson

We all respect sincerity in our friends and acquaintances, but Hollywood is willing to pay for it. - Hattie McDaniel

The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart. - Unknown

We challenge one another to be funnier and smarter ... It's the way friends make love to one another. - Annie Gottlieb

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

Don't tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and let them surprise you with their results. - George S Patton

It's none of their business that you have to learn how to write. Let them think you were born that way. - Ernest Hemingway

If you can spend a perfectly useless afternoon in a perfectly useless manner, you have learned how to live. - Lin Yutang

I'm telling you this 'cause you're one of my friends. My alphabet starts where your alphabet ends! - Dr. Seuss

My job is not to make decisions but to set stretch objectives and help our managers work out how to reach them. - Sergio Marchionne

Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke

My friend Sally is a nudist. I went to her house. The closets have no doors. The walls are covered with see-through wallpaper. - Steven Wright

The space in a needle's eye is sufficient for two friends, but the whole world is scarcely big enough to hold two enemies. - Solomon Ibn Gabirol

The secret of contentment is knowing how to enjoy what you have, and to be able to lose all desire for things beyond your reach. - Lin Yutang

A loyal friend laughs at your jokes when they're not so good, and sympathizes with your problems when they're not so bad. - Arnold H. Glasow

Though my friends envied me because I always seemed so cheerful and confident, I was secretly terrified of practically everything. - Erica Jong

The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are in the wrong. Nearly anybody will side with you when you are right. - Mark Twain

Forgiveness is that subtle thread that binds both love and friendship. Without forgiveness, you may not even have a child one day. - George Foreman

In every circle of friends there's always that one person everyone secretly hates. Don't have one? Then it's probably you. - Will Ferrell

The best managers figure out how to get great outcomes by setting the appropriate context, rather than by trying to control their people. - Reed Hastings

One's life has value so long as one attributes value to the life of others, by means of love, friendship, indignation, and compassion. - Simone de Beauvoir

Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee. - WC Fields

Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art. It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival. - C S Lewis

Success in creating AI would be the biggest event in human history. Unfortunately, it might also be the last, unless we learn how to avoid the risks. - Stephen Hawking

Relations are simply a tedious pack of people, who haven't got the remotest knowledge of how to live, nor the smallest instinct about when to die. - Oscar Wilde


2022 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Graphic Auto Accident (PG)

Cell Phone Book

Aussie Safety Sign

VW Snow Tractor

Math Riddle

Maiden Rock Illusion

Radioactive Games

Winter Bystander

Snow Good

Which One's Real?

Enough Art Supplies

Chinese Watermelon Sculptures

Sea Sand Art

Spot the Mistake

Image Challenge

Stroller Snow Tires

Is The Warming Still Global?

Snow Drifts Inside Your Car

Redneck Potter's Wheel

Winter Sucks

Chainsaw Art

Spot the Hidden Cell Tower

How Cumulus Clouds Are Formed