Lockdown Advice

Fans don't boo nobodies. - Reggie Jackson

Being crazy isn't enough. - Dr. Seuss

Thoughtfulness begets wrinkles. - Charles Dickens

Nature abhors a vacuum. And so do I. - Anne Gibbons

If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster. - Clint Eastwood

I'm not crazy. My mother had me tested. - Unknown

Every really new idea looks crazy at first. - Alfred North Whitehead

Wrinkles only go where the smiles have been. - Jimmy Buffet

Queuing tips for fans: wrap up and bring food! - Niall Horan

You stand out more by being weird than fitting in. - Emma Tupa

Is that weird, taking my Louis Vuitton bag camping? - Jessica Simpson

Aging wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul. - Douglas MacArthur

Igloo: 1. An icicle built for two; 2. An Alaskan toilet. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Normal is nothing more than a cycle on a washing machine. - Whoopi Goldberg

A brand new vacuum cleaner with all the latest attractions - Archie Bunker

Endangered forests are being slaughtered for toilet paper. - Daphne Zuniga

Like toilet paper, laughter is in short supply these days. - Phil Callaway

I have the body of an 18-year-old. I keep it in the fridge. - Spike Milligan

Wrinkles are hereditary. Parents get them from their children. - Doris Day

Fan Club: Weapon used by a celebrity to beat off too many fans - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough? - Niels Bohr

My mom always said normal is just a cycle on the washing machine. - Wynonna Judd

Within, I do not find wrinkles and used heart, but unspent youth. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time. - Steven Wright

I love you like crazy, baby
'Cuz I'd go crazy without you. - Pixie Foudre

A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy? - Albert Einstein

Cash Flow: The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

High school is a lot like toilet paper: you only miss it when it's gone. - Unknown

Do something. If it doesn't work, do something else. No idea is too crazy. - Jim Hightower

I've probably wasted a solid year of my life just staring into the fridge. - Bill Murray

Spaghetti can be eaten most successfully if you inhale it like a vacuum cleaner. - Sophia Loren

Isn't life a collection of weird quizzes with no answers to half the questions? - Pawan Mishra

People who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do. - Steve Jobs

Drill for oil? You mean drill into the ground to try and find oil? You're crazy. - Unknown

My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind. - Les Dawson

France is a country where the money falls apart but you can't tear the toilet paper. - Billy Wilder

I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal. - Groucho Marx

Canadian hockey fans... They boo me every time I go anywhere. Because I play for Team USA. - Brett Hull

It was ability that mattered, not disability, which is a word I'm not crazy about using. - Marlee Matlin

I can't stop moving. I'm like this weird insect. I can't sit still in real life. - Robin Wright

I drink maple syrup. Then I'm hyper so I just run around like crazy and work it all off. - Rachel McAdams

I enjoy my wrinkles and regard them as badges of distinction - I've worked hard for them! - Maggie Kuhn

Jitterbug: 1. A Scotchman in front of a pay toilet; 2. Insect that's had too much coffee. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You may be right
I may be crazy.
But it just may be a lunatic you're looking for. - Billy Joel

Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. - Richard M Nixon

I prefer Hostess fruit pies to pop-up toaster tarts because they don't require as much cooking. - Carrie Snow

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

You don't know what is going to happen tomorrow. Life is a crazy ride, and nothing is guaranteed. - Eminem

The concept that vaccine-induced immunity is superior in any way to natural immunity is sheer nonsense. - Dr Steven Pelech

Pound's crazy. All poets are. They have to be. You don't put a poet like Pound in the loony bin. - Ernest Hemingway

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too. - Rodney Dangerfield

In a weird kind of way, music has afforded me an idealism and perfectionism that I could never attain as me. - Billy Corgan

We can make fun of hockey fans, but someone who enjoys Homer is indulging the same kind of vicarious bloodlust. - Steven Pinker

Silence speaks so much louder than screaming tantrums. Never give anyone an excuse to say that you're crazy. - Taylor Swift

I chased a girl for two years only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: We were both crazy about girls. - Groucho Marx

Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home. - Rodney Dangerfield

Learning is a lifelong process of keeping abreast of change. And the most pressing task is to teach people how to learn. - Peter F Drucker

When you hunt animals, you may succeed or not. But when you open the fridge, you will succeed a hundred percent of the time. - Nora Volkow

Thousands and thousands of guys applied to be on the show... Some of them were crazy. Some of them were so much into themselves. - Donald Trump

It doesn't take much to see that the problems of three little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. - Casablanca

I am weird, you are weird. Everyone in this world is weird. One day, two people come together in mutual weirdness and fall in love. - Dr. Seuss

You can always trust information given you by people who are crazy; they have an access to truth not available through regular channels. - Sheila Ballantyne

I'm very anxious to see who the fans choose for their favorite finalist. Their decision could have a big effect on my ultimate decision. - Donald Trump

The problem with the internet is that it gives you everything - reliable material and crazy material. So the problem becomes, how do you discriminate? - Umberto Eco