Lockdown Advice

One is very crazy when in love. - Sigmund Freud

Thoughtfulness begets wrinkles. - Charles Dickens

Weird is a side-effect of awesome. - Unknown

When your dreams turn to dust, vacuum. - Desmond Tutu

Johnny Cash: A dime for the pay toilet - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster. - Clint Eastwood

I'm not crazy. My mother had me tested. - Unknown

Every really new idea looks crazy at first. - Alfred North Whitehead

Wrinkles only go where the smiles have been. - Jimmy Buffet

If there is a supreme being, he's crazy. - Marlene Dietrich

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. - Hunter S Thompson

You stand out more by being weird than fitting in. - Emma Tupa

One crazy dame was "Marching To Astoria." - Archie Bunker

e looks about as happy as a penguin in a microwave. - Sid Waddell

Normal is nothing more than a cycle on a washing machine. - Whoopi Goldberg

A brand new vacuum cleaner with all the latest attractions - Archie Bunker

Endangered forests are being slaughtered for toilet paper. - Daphne Zuniga

Like toilet paper, laughter is in short supply these days. - Phil Callaway

It's always darkest just before the fridge door opens. - Phil Callaway

Vacuum Cleaner: 1. A sonic broom; 2. A broom with a stomach. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Wrinkles are hereditary. Parents get them from their children. - Doris Day

We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough? - Niels Bohr

Age imprints more wrinkles in the mind than it does on the face. - Montaigne

Anesthetic: The painkiller that crazy women refuse during labour - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My mom always said normal is just a cycle on the washing machine. - Wynonna Judd

Within, I do not find wrinkles and used heart, but unspent youth. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

It’s okay to be crazy and scared and brave at the same time! - Kelly Epperson

Every man who wants to be President is either an egomaniac or crazy. - Dwight D Eisenhower

If we shouldn't eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge? - Unknown

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time. - Steven Wright

I love you like crazy, baby
'Cuz I'd go crazy without you. - Pixie Foudre

I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and radio. - Rodney Dangerfield

A long time ago being crazy meant something. Nowadays everybody's crazy. - Charles Manson

I've probably wasted a solid year of my life just staring into the fridge. - Bill Murray

Isn't life a collection of weird quizzes with no answers to half the questions? - Pawan Mishra

Drill for oil? You mean drill into the ground to try and find oil? You're crazy. - Unknown

My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind. - Les Dawson

France is a country where the money falls apart but you can't tear the toilet paper. - Billy Wilder

I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal. - Groucho Marx

I drink maple syrup. Then I'm hyper so I just run around like crazy and work it all off. - Rachel McAdams

Women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. - George Carlin

I enjoy my wrinkles and regard them as badges of distinction - I've worked hard for them! - Maggie Kuhn

You may be right
I may be crazy.
But it just may be a lunatic you're looking for. - Billy Joel

When grace is joined with wrinkles, it is adorable. There is an unspeakable dawn in happy old age. - Victor Hugo

Pound's crazy. All poets are. They have to be. You don't put a poet like Pound in the loony bin. - Ernest Hemingway

Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong, even though they say it's okay in the Bible. - Homer Simpson

Pursuing a God-ordained passion, no matter how crazy it seems, is the most responsible thing you can do. - Mark Batterson

Special day! Oh, what have I forgotten now? Now, don't panic. Is it Bacon Day? No, that’s crazy talk! - Homer

People are weird. When we find someone with weirdness that is compatible with ours, we team up and call it love. - Dr. Seuss

Silence speaks so much louder than screaming tantrums. Never give anyone an excuse to say that you're crazy. - Taylor Swift

If wrinkles must be written upon our brows, let them not be written upon the heart. The spirit should never grow old. - James A. Garfield

There is no such thing as a weird human being. It's just that some people require more understanding than others. - Tom Robbins

I chased a girl for two years only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: We were both crazy about girls. - Groucho Marx

I have a microwave fireplace in my house... The other night I laid down in front of the fire for the evening in two minutes. - Steven Wright

When you hunt animals, you may succeed or not. But when you open the fridge, you will succeed a hundred percent of the time. - Nora Volkow

I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine. - Milton Berle

Thousands and thousands of guys applied to be on the show... Some of them were crazy. Some of them were so much into themselves. - Donald Trump

It doesn't take much to see that the problems of three little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. - Casablanca

Go figure a crazy, mixed-up country where ballet outsells boxing. I wouldn't be surprised if their wrestling was on the level. - Bob Hope

I am weird, you are weird. Everyone in this world is weird. One day, two people come together in mutual weirdness and fall in love. - Dr. Seuss

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

It is often easier to make progress on mega-ambitious dreams. Since no one else is crazy enough to do it, you have little competition. - Larry Page

You can always trust information given you by people who are crazy; they have an access to truth not available through regular channels. - Sheila Ballantyne

I'm pretty sure that eating chocolate keeps wrinkles away because I have never seen a 10 year old with a Hershey bar and crows feet. - Amy Neftzger

When my generation was your age, we took crazy risks. The wildest thing was - prepare to be shocked - we deliberately ingested carbohydrates! - Dave Barry