#1 humor site on the 'net

Millennial Jump Start

Shocking wakeup call for teenagers

Millennial Jump Start thanks to Dan MacAulay

It keeps going, and going, and going
Trust the power within
You can't top the copper top
No battery is stronger longer
Coppertop. Quality that lasts.
 
Millennials (aka 'Generation Y' or 'Gen Y'), are the demographic cohort following Generation X and preceding Generation Z. Millennial generation people were born between 1981 and 1996.

QuotaBills
Revolt: Recharge a battery - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The name Pavlov rings a bell. - Unknown

Books don't need batteries. - Nadine Gordimer

Instinct is the nose of the mind. - Madame de Girardin

Flying Buttress: A charging billy goat - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If the phone doesn't ring it's me. - Jimmy Buffett

Buy one of them battery transvester radios. - Archie Bunker

I could not get the ring without the finger. - Thomas Middleton

Lead the audience by the nose to the thought. - Laurence Olivier

Adorable: What you ring when you go visiting. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

English Wrestling Champion: A lord of the ring - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings. - It's a Wonderful Life

I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy. - Ernest Hemingway

Onion Rings: Worn by vegetables when they get married - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The ring always believes that the finger lives for it. - Malcolm de Chazal

There is nothing so difficult to marry as a large nose. - Oscar Wilde

Arpeggio: The story book kid with the big nose that grows - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You have to sniff out joy. Keep your nose to the joy trail. - Buffy Sainte-Marie

Hand Scanner: Singles bar prowler looking for wedding rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I think "Hail to the Chief" has a nice ring to it. - John F Kennedy

Change is like a charging cow. Don't ignore it - milk it. - Andrew Leigh

Adversity is the diamond dust Heaven polishes its jewels with. - Thomas Carlyle

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out my nose. - Woody Allen

The sage wears rough clothing and holds the jewel in his heart. - Lao-Tzu

To see what is in front of one's nose needs a constant struggle. - George Orwell

Plugthug: Someone who'd kill for access to recharging facilities - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

Key Ring: A handy little gadget that allows you to lose all your keys at once - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead? - George Carlin

Never knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run away. Death hates that. - Matt Frewer

Always hold your head up, but be careful to keep your nose at a friendly level. - Max L. Forman

Warm Water Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Life without endeavor is like entering a jewel mine and coming out with empty hands. - Japanese Proverb

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring. - Jeff Foxworthy

Freedom rings when you realize you can become what you never thought you could become. - Richie Norton

As a child, I always chose a false nose and some face paint and a wig for my birthday. - Ashley Jensen

After you cut off a person's nose there is no point in giving him a rose to smell. - Ravi Zacharias

A man never reaches that dizzy height of wisdom when he can no longer be led by the nose. - Mark Twain

Suddenly you're like a pirate, you're 65 years old and you've got an earring. - Fred Willard

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill

Thrusting my nose firmly between his teeth, I threw him heavily to the ground on top of me. - Mark Twain

The most precious jewels you'll ever have around your neck are the arms of your children. - Unknown

Of all sound of all bells... most solemn and touching is the peal which rings out the Old Year. - Charles Lamb

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose. - Garrison Keillor

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I think the shocking thing to discover is the owls are not stupid and very feral, very hard to train. - Robbie Coltrane

I benefit from the Mr. Potato Head syndrome. Put a wig and a nose and glasses on me, and I disappear. - Phil Hartman

The salesman knows nothing of what he is selling save that he is charging a great deal too much for it. - Oscar Wilde

Inside of a ring or out, ain't nothing wrong with going down. It's staying down that's wrong. - Muhammad Ali

The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage. - Mark Russell

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

Poverty is an anomaly to rich people. It is very difficult to make out why people who want dinner do not ring the bell. - Walter Bagehot

I think hearts are very much like glasses - if they do not break with the first ring, they usually last a considerable time. - Letitia Landon

Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you. - Ogden Nash

My dream is for people around the world to look up and to see Canada like a little jewel sitting at the top of the continent. - Tommy Douglas

The diamond may adorn royalty, regardless of personal worth; but jewels of thought render even poverty illustrious and sublime. - Gems for the Fireside

In this year, King Aethelstan, Lord of Warriors, ring-giver to men... won eternal glory, in battle with sword edges, around Brunaburh. - Unknown

A politician should have three hats. One for throwing into the ring, one for talking through, and one for pulling rabbits out of if elected. - Carl Sandburg

If you don't value your time, neither will others. Stop giving away your time and talents. Value what you know and start charging for it. - Kim Garst

I formed a new group called Alcoholics-Unanimous. If you don't feel like a drink, you ring another member and he comes over to persuade you. - Richard Harris

His mind is concrete and fastidious,
His nose is remarkably big;
His visage is more or less hideous,
His beard it resembles a wig. - Edward Lear

That is what we are, what we do: nose a net, push push, a net that never exists. The knots in the mesh as strong as our own believing. Our own fears. - Peter Heller

I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. - Steven Wright


Redneck's Lo-Tech Mobile Phone

Downchuck

Border Agent Alert

Cadillac Clearance

Leading By Example

Wired For Coffee

Cadillac Bike

Chip and Dip

Cat Couch Nap

Redneck Trophy Fish

Country Irony

'None Of The Above' Election Option

I've Got Your Back

Vintage Campers

Great Minds of History

But That Was Yesterday

Trudeau's Top Fails

Picture Of Me Getting Naked

Today's Paper Read Yesterday

Fear Of Change

Yes!

Unger Games

Stuck

Best Fairy Tale