Pocket Change

Marry money. - Max Shulman

God gave me my money. - John D Rockefeller

Money is the best cosmetic. - International Proverb

He who marries for money earns it. - Hebrew Proverb

A fool and his money are soon parted. - English Proverb

Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver. - Unknown

No man's credit is as good as his money. - Ed Howe

Friendship is like money, easier made than kept. - Samuel Butler

Never invest in a business you cannot understand. - Warren Buffett

You don't need a silver fork to eat good food. - Paul Prudhomme

Don't marry for money, you can borrow it cheaper. - Scottish Saying

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it. - Mark Twain

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed. - George Burns

Why is there so much month left at the end of the money? - Unknown

After money in the bank, a grudge is the next best thing. - Anthony Trollope

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? - George Carlin

Capitalism is using its money; we socialists throw it away. - Fidel Castro

When a habit begins to cost money, it's called a hobby. - Jewish Proverb

When you ain't got no money, you gotta get an attitude. - Richard Pryor

Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back. - Steven Wright

I'd like to live like a poor man, only with lots of money. - Pablo Picasso

If money is your hope for independence, you will never have it. - Henry Ford

The best way to ruin a comedy is to throw a lot of money at it. - Jay Leno

Britain's last gold medal was a bronze in 1952 in Helsinki. - Nigel Starmer-Smith

When it is a matter of money, all men are of the same religion. - Voltaire

Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs repairing. - Billy Rose

I like gold because it is a stabilizer; it is an insurance policy. - Kevin O'Leary

A woman will buy anything she thinks the store is losing money on. - Kin Hubbard

I was a great student at a great school, Wharton School of Finance. - Donald Trump

Business? It's quite simple. It's other people's money. - Alexandre Dumas

Who marries for love without money has merry nights and sorry days. - Scottish Proverb

I have no money, no resources, no hopes. I am the happiest man alive. - Henry Miller

Invest in the human soul. Who knows, it might be a diamond in the rough. - Mary McLeod Bethune

The more money an American accumulates, the less interesting he becomes. - Gore Vidal

Humour and irony include tragedy; they're two sides of the same coin. - Maurizio Cattelan

Gentility is what is left over from rich ancestors after the money is gone. - John Ciardi

I don't care how much money you have, free stuff is always a good thing. - Queen Latifah

I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock. - Henny Youngman

Will you marry me? Do you have any money?
Answer the second question first. - Groucho Marx

Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings

It is amazing how much can be accomplished if no one cares who gets the credit. - John Wooden

When I get a little money, I buy books. If any is left, I buy food and clothes. - Erasmus

Procrastination is like a credit card: it's a lot of fun until you get the bill. - Christopher Parker

Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping. - Bo Derek

He's so old that when he orders a three-minute egg, they ask for the money up front. - Milton Berle

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

Let the rain beat upon your head with silver liquid drops - let the rain sing you a lullaby. - Langston Hughes

Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket. - Ambrose Bierce

In Las Vegas, a man said to his wife, "Give me the money I told you not to give me." - Henny Youngman

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired, and get paid just enough money not to quite. - George Carlin

The chief value of money lies in the fact that one lives in a world in which it is overestimated. - H L Mencken

No man will make a great leader who wants to do it all himself, or to get all the credit for doing it. - Andrew Carnegie

Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem. - Bill Vaughan

There is not Communism or Marxism, but representative democracy and social justice in a well-planned economy. - Fidel Castro

America is the country where you can buy a lifetime supply of aspirin for a dollar and use it up in two weeks. - Barrymore

Money was never a big motivation for me, except as a way to keep score. The real excitement is playing the game. - Donald Trump

My family didn't have a lot of money, and I'm grateful for that. Money is the longest route to happiness. - Evangeline Lilly

If you put all your strength and faith and vigor into a job, and try to do the best you can, the money will come. - Lawrence Welk

No one has yet had the courage to memorialize his wealth on his tombstone. A dollar mark would not look well there. - Corra May Harris

Always remember money isn't everything - but also remember to make a lot of it before talking such fool nonsense. - Earl Wilson

In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other. - Voltaire

What's money? A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do. - Bob Dylan

If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep. - Will Rogers

A three year old child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small green worm. - Bill Vaughan

If you have more money than brains, you should focus on outbound marketing. If you have more brains than money, you should focus on inbound marketing. - Guy Kawasaki