Surviving Recess

Thank God kids never mean well. - Lily Tomlin

Love is a better teacher than duty. - Albert Einstein

Education is the apprenticeship of life. - Robert Willmott

Do your kids a favor - don't have any. - Robert Orben

Great shot kid, that was one in a million. - Han Solo

Germs: The only things kids will share freely - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I graduated first in my class from alibi school. - Jeffrey McDaniel

Eat: What kids do between meals, but not at them - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Prosperity is a great teacher; adversity a greater. - William Hazlitt

Don't try to teach a whole course in one lesson. - Kathryn Murray

Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned. - Mark Twain

I believe in this concept that you learn by teaching. - Stephen Covey

The art of teaching is the art of assisting discovery. - Mark Van Doren

Education, the great mumbo jumbo and fraud of the age. - Malcolm Muggeridge

You can educate a fool, but you cannot make him think. - Talmud

Surgeon: The person who was a cut-up at medical school - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The roots of education are bitter, but the fruit is sweet. - Aristotle

You can drag my body to school but my spirit refuses to go. - Bill Watterson

What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts. - Homer Simpson

Good manners will open doors that the best education cannot. - Clarence Thomas

Not only education but society as a whole needs deschooling. - Ivan Illich

Kids are life's only guaranteed bona fide upside surprise. - Jack Nicholson

A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers. - H L Mencken

Market: 1. Three women and a goose; 2. What teachers do to homework. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Academe: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Education's purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one. - Malcolm Forbes

Men are born ignorant, not stupid. They are made stupid by education. - Bertrand Russell

I don't want to send them to jail. I want to send them to school. - Adlai Stevenson

Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. - Red Buttons

The teacher is one who makes two ideas grow where only one grew before. - Elbert Hubbard

I'd like to be the ideal mother, but I'm too busy raising my kids. - Unknown

Did you ever hear of a kid playing accountant - even if he wanted to be one? - Jackie Mason

Never attempt to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and annoys the pig. - Robert A. Heinlein

Show business is my life. When I was a kid I sold insurance, but nobody laughed. - Don Rickles

Life is good for only two things: discovering mathematics and teaching mathematics. - Simeon Poisson

Education is simply the soul of a society as it passes from one generation to another. - G K Chesterton

Education is when you read the fine print. Experience is what you get if you don't. - Pete Seeger

I am who I am: an Irish Catholic kid, working class from Long Island. And I made it big. - Bill O'Reilly

You have to look for teachers. If you want to be a mechanic, go hang out with mechanics. - Robert Kiyosaki

Energy: Element of vitality kids always have an oversupply of until asked to do something - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like. - Phyllis Diller

The praise of others may be of use in teaching us, not what we are, but what we ought to be. - Julius C Hare

A physician buries his mistakes, a dentist pulls them out, but a teacher has to live with them. - Unknown

While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about. - Angela Schwindt

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison. - Unknown

Golden Age: When the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The test and the use of man's education is that he finds pleasure in the exercise of his mind. - Jacques Martin Barzun

Because there is always some kid who may be seeing me for the first or last time, I owe him my best. - Joe DiMaggio

The choice to become a mother is the choice to become one of the greatest spiritual teachers there is. - Oprah Winfrey

Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers. - Socrates

In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period. Every crime ends with a sentence. - Steven Wright

It is books that teach us to refine our pleasures when young, and to recall them with satisfaction when we are old. - Leigh Hunt

The most important thing we learn at school is the fact that the most important things can't be learned at school. - Haruki Murakami

This hour we are stretching forth our hands with the desire to teach the world the true principles of mercy and justice. - Marcus Garvey

I went to a Catholic boys' school for a year, but that was to play hockey. Religion class was quite contentious for me. - Keanu Reeves

There's no such thing as a soul. It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the bogeyman or Michael Jackson. - Bart Simpson

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

If you like the outdoors, Colorado is a big adventure playground for adults: it's great for skiing, cycling, climbing, and hiking. - Tyler Hamilton

In the real world, the smartest people are people who make mistakes and learn. In school, the smartest people don't make mistakes. - Robert T Kiyosaki

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

Art owes its origin to nature. This beautiful creation supplied the first model, while the original teacher was that divine intelligence. - Giorgio Vasari

I love to play hide and seek with my kid, but some days my goal is to find a hiding place where he can't find me until after high school. - Unknown

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller

Coaching is unlocking people's potential to maximize their own performance. It is more often helping them to learn rather than teaching them. - John Whitmore

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up. - Phyllis Diller