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Virus Update
What we now know about the Covid virus
Based on Government announcements, we know that:
It won't infect people at a wedding unless there are more than 50 people. And it also won't infect anyone at a funeral, as long as there are not more than 20 people.
So not only can the Virus count, it can also differentiate between a wedding and a funeral.
This Virus owns a watch and can tell time. It does spread in public places and restaurants, but only after 9 pm and not before. So, it's safe to be out before 9 pm and not after 9 pm.
It also only infects if you're in a group of more than 4, but not at weddings or funerals where it's 50 and 20 people, obviously.
Masks do work, that's why people will be fined for not wearing them, but not in pubs and restaurants, because as already discovered, the Virus doesn't infect in pubs or restaurants until after 9 pm.
You can also safely remove your mask at a crowded eating place because the Virus is polite and won't attack when you are eating. But don't remove your mask before food is served, as the Virus will attack if it sees you without a mask and not eating.
Cinemas, gyms, etc are also immune from the Virus 'cause the Virus can't afford cinema tickets or gym memberships.
The Virus also sticks to specific post codes and barricades, this is why some areas have stricter rules than others. And once you cross the border, the Virus will not follow you.
The Virus attacks those who do not queue up for public transportation, so you see everyone practices social distancing and queue.
But once inside buses and commuter trains, then you are fine to be crowded because the Virus won't attack, as it hates traveling in crowded public vehicles.
But once you get off the crowded public vehicles, then you are not safe again in private vehicles and cannot travel in the same car because the Virus doesn't like those who are not from the same address traveling together in private cars.
Oh, and political gatherings/rallies are perfectly fine in large groups regardless of any rules. That's because the Ministers set the rules, and the Virus obeys the rules.
It's OK not to quarantine if the Minister says so, and the Virus will look for other victims. It will not touch government employees or government pass holders.
Prisoners are fine to be crowded and since they are in prison, the Virus doesn't like criminals, so social distancing is not important for them.
The Virus is very merciful because it doesn't attack beggars and homeless people living on streets and footpaths, as it knows they cannot afford tests and hospitalization. And also it will not attack thousands of farmers who are on protest near the Delhi border.
The Virus will not touch you for fifteen days if you have done a PCR test and proven negative.
The Virus takes a vacation from waving at people during Festivals and will return to start second and third waves.
It won't infect people at a wedding unless there are more than 50 people. And it also won't infect anyone at a funeral, as long as there are not more than 20 people.
So not only can the Virus count, it can also differentiate between a wedding and a funeral.
This Virus owns a watch and can tell time. It does spread in public places and restaurants, but only after 9 pm and not before. So, it's safe to be out before 9 pm and not after 9 pm.
It also only infects if you're in a group of more than 4, but not at weddings or funerals where it's 50 and 20 people, obviously.
Masks do work, that's why people will be fined for not wearing them, but not in pubs and restaurants, because as already discovered, the Virus doesn't infect in pubs or restaurants until after 9 pm.
You can also safely remove your mask at a crowded eating place because the Virus is polite and won't attack when you are eating. But don't remove your mask before food is served, as the Virus will attack if it sees you without a mask and not eating.
Cinemas, gyms, etc are also immune from the Virus 'cause the Virus can't afford cinema tickets or gym memberships.
The Virus also sticks to specific post codes and barricades, this is why some areas have stricter rules than others. And once you cross the border, the Virus will not follow you.
The Virus attacks those who do not queue up for public transportation, so you see everyone practices social distancing and queue.
But once inside buses and commuter trains, then you are fine to be crowded because the Virus won't attack, as it hates traveling in crowded public vehicles.
But once you get off the crowded public vehicles, then you are not safe again in private vehicles and cannot travel in the same car because the Virus doesn't like those who are not from the same address traveling together in private cars.
Oh, and political gatherings/rallies are perfectly fine in large groups regardless of any rules. That's because the Ministers set the rules, and the Virus obeys the rules.
It's OK not to quarantine if the Minister says so, and the Virus will look for other victims. It will not touch government employees or government pass holders.
Prisoners are fine to be crowded and since they are in prison, the Virus doesn't like criminals, so social distancing is not important for them.
The Virus is very merciful because it doesn't attack beggars and homeless people living on streets and footpaths, as it knows they cannot afford tests and hospitalization. And also it will not attack thousands of farmers who are on protest near the Delhi border.
The Virus will not touch you for fifteen days if you have done a PCR test and proven negative.
The Virus takes a vacation from waving at people during Festivals and will return to start second and third waves.
That virus is a pussycat. - Peter Duesberg
Health food makes me sick. - Calvin Trillin
Pain should not be wasted. - Gerda W Klein
Laughter is the best medicine. - Joe-kster
Society is a hospital of incurables. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Pain will leave you, when you let go. - Jeremy Aldana
I'm so mean, I make medicine sick. - Muhammad Ali
The pain passes, but the beauty remains. - Pierre-August Renoir
Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer
Pain and suffering are God's megaphone. - C S Lewis
Sickness comes on horseback but departs on foot. - Dutch Proverb
Humor is the instinct for taking pain playfully. - Max Eastman
Leaders don't inflict pain; they share pain. - Max Depree
Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance. - Plato
Why is it we never get our bad medicine in small doses? - Edmund H North
The two enemies of human happiness are pain and boredom. - Arthur Schopenhauer
Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown
I am not into working out. My philosophy: no pain, no pain. - Carol Leifer
If we become ill, modern medicine can work healing miracles. - Joseph B Wirthlin
A nurse will always give us hope, an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets
We can't predict what a virus we've never seen will do. - Marc Lipsitch
Chiropractor: A Doctor who works his fingers to the bone - yours - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
One of the greatest pains to human nature is the pain of a new idea. - Walter Bagehot
One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love. - Sophocles
Never let success get to your head. Never let failure get to your health. - Unknown
Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley
One of the major goals of health insurance reform is to bring down the cost. - Valerie Jarrett
Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings
If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb
Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield
Health care's not about insurance! Health care's about getting treatment. - P.J. O'Rourke
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx
The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire
Virus is a Latin word used by doctors to mean 'your guess is as good as mine'. - Bob Hope
Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker
Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle
When you can tell the story and it doesn't bring up any pain, you known it is healed. - Lyanla Vanzant
The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying
Smart people that like good health spend several hours outdoors daily in the shade of trees. - Steven Magee
I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne
We don't come to Canada for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves. - Prince Philip
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles
Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha
The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire
A life coach does for the rest of your life what a personal trainer does for your health and fitness. - Elaine MacDonald
When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield
The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer
To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. - Thomas Paine
Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson
Give a man health and a course to steer, and he'll never stop to trouble about whether he's happy or not. - George Bernard Shaw
When wealth is lost, nothing is lost. When health is lost, something is lost. When character is lost, all is lost. - Rev. Billy Graham
My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields
Just like a shoe, if someone is meant for you, they will fit just perfectly. No forcing, no struggling, and no pain. - Unknown
Perfect freedom is as necessary to the health and vigor of commerce as it is to the health and vigor of citizenship. - Patrick Henry
The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick
The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler
It is astonishing with how little reading a doctor can practice medicine, but is not astonishing how badly he may do it. - William Osler
My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle
You can catch health, happiness, and success from others just as easily as you can catch worries, bitterness, and failure. - Dale Carnegie
'Psychotherapy' is a private, confidential conversation that has nothing to do with illness, medicine, or healing. - Thomas Szasz
It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin
When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield
Every essential oil has a healing purpose. I think it's a great gift because it's something that elevates your mood and your health. - Yolanda Hadid
One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler
Health food makes me sick. - Calvin Trillin
Pain should not be wasted. - Gerda W Klein
Laughter is the best medicine. - Joe-kster
Society is a hospital of incurables. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Pain will leave you, when you let go. - Jeremy Aldana
I'm so mean, I make medicine sick. - Muhammad Ali
The pain passes, but the beauty remains. - Pierre-August Renoir
Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer
Pain and suffering are God's megaphone. - C S Lewis
Sickness comes on horseback but departs on foot. - Dutch Proverb
Humor is the instinct for taking pain playfully. - Max Eastman
Leaders don't inflict pain; they share pain. - Max Depree
Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance. - Plato
Why is it we never get our bad medicine in small doses? - Edmund H North
The two enemies of human happiness are pain and boredom. - Arthur Schopenhauer
Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown
I am not into working out. My philosophy: no pain, no pain. - Carol Leifer
If we become ill, modern medicine can work healing miracles. - Joseph B Wirthlin
A nurse will always give us hope, an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets
We can't predict what a virus we've never seen will do. - Marc Lipsitch
Chiropractor: A Doctor who works his fingers to the bone - yours - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
One of the greatest pains to human nature is the pain of a new idea. - Walter Bagehot
One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love. - Sophocles
Never let success get to your head. Never let failure get to your health. - Unknown
Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley
One of the major goals of health insurance reform is to bring down the cost. - Valerie Jarrett
Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings
If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb
Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield
Health care's not about insurance! Health care's about getting treatment. - P.J. O'Rourke
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx
The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire
Virus is a Latin word used by doctors to mean 'your guess is as good as mine'. - Bob Hope
Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker
Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle
When you can tell the story and it doesn't bring up any pain, you known it is healed. - Lyanla Vanzant
The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying
Smart people that like good health spend several hours outdoors daily in the shade of trees. - Steven Magee
I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne
We don't come to Canada for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves. - Prince Philip
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles
Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha
The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire
A life coach does for the rest of your life what a personal trainer does for your health and fitness. - Elaine MacDonald
When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield
The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer
To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. - Thomas Paine
Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson
Give a man health and a course to steer, and he'll never stop to trouble about whether he's happy or not. - George Bernard Shaw
When wealth is lost, nothing is lost. When health is lost, something is lost. When character is lost, all is lost. - Rev. Billy Graham
My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields
Just like a shoe, if someone is meant for you, they will fit just perfectly. No forcing, no struggling, and no pain. - Unknown
Perfect freedom is as necessary to the health and vigor of commerce as it is to the health and vigor of citizenship. - Patrick Henry
The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick
The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler
It is astonishing with how little reading a doctor can practice medicine, but is not astonishing how badly he may do it. - William Osler
My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle
You can catch health, happiness, and success from others just as easily as you can catch worries, bitterness, and failure. - Dale Carnegie
'Psychotherapy' is a private, confidential conversation that has nothing to do with illness, medicine, or healing. - Thomas Szasz
It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin
When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield
Every essential oil has a healing purpose. I think it's a great gift because it's something that elevates your mood and your health. - Yolanda Hadid
One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler
Stretch Exercises You Can Do At Your Desk
A Foot Of Sun
Sushi Spine
Police Targeting
Happy Bird's Eye UU
Moose Parking
Glassman
Paint Pants
World Cup Attention Getter
Fear Of Light
Bird Condo
Very Cold Beer
Seniors Bike Club
Watching The World Cup
Friendly BBQ Reminder
Geek Piano
Ugly Haircut
XL Safety Shoes
Dance With Me
Secret Exit
Drawing A Fine Line
Fastest Land Mammal
First Driving Lesson
Foot-Ball