Women Live Longer

Women Liberteens - Archie Bunker

Women and elephants never forget. - Dorothy Parker

Well-behaved women never make history. - Maria Shriver

Well-behaved women seldom make history. - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

Women are made to be loved, not understood. - Oscar Wilde

What poison is to food, self-pity is to life. - Oliver C. Wilson

Waitress: A woman who thinks money grows on trays - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood. - Oscar Wilde

Taking joy in life is a woman's best cosmetic. - Rosalind Russell

Change is not merely necessary to life, it is life. - Alvin Toffler

Wind to a sailor is what money is to life on shore. - Sterling Hayden

A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke. - Rudyard Kipling

A woman's always younger than a man of equal years. - Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Temptation is a woman's weapon and man's excuse. - H L Mencken

This is a feminist bookstore. There is no humour section. - John Callahan

I only take Viagra when I'm with more than one woman. - Jack Nicholson

I think if I were a woman I'd wear coffee as a perfume. - John Van Druten

A woman is attractive when she is somebody else's wife. - African Proverb

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Wilhelm II

A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears. - Woodrow Wyatt

Surely a pretty woman never looks prettier than when making tea. - Mary E. Braddon

Her mother was a cultivated woman - she was born in a greenhouse. - Spike Milligan

A meal without cheese is like a beautiful woman who lacks an eye. - Jean A Brillat-Savarin

The secret to life is meaningless unless you discover it yourself. - W Somerset Maugham

Nothing spoils a romance so much as a sense of humor in the woman. - Oscar Wilde

I love men, not because they are men, but because they are not women. - Queen Christina of Sweden

That woman temptated me up there and you know she was a wonton woman. - Archie Bunker

On one issue at least, men and women agree: they both distrust women. - H L Mencken

Joy Of Motherhood: What a woman experiences when all the kids are in bed - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I want to be a millionaire not for the money but for the woman I will become. - Jaime Tardy

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby. - Natalie Wood

I will buy any creme, cosmetic, or elixir from a woman with a European accent. - Erma Bombeck

Menopause is our chance to say, "I am woman - open a freaking window." - Unknown

Here's to strong women. May we know them. May we be them. May we raise them. - Unknown

My vigour, vitality, and cheek repel me. I am the kind of woman I would run from. - Nancy Astor

To God I speak Spanish, to women Italian, to men French, and to my horse - German. - Emperor Charles V

When I passed 40 I dropped pretence, 'cause men like women who got some sense. - Maya Angelou

In Hollywood, the women are all peaches. It makes one long for an apple occasionally. - W Somerset Maugham

Co-Operation: An exchange between a woman and a man in which she coos and he operates - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. - WC Fields

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman. - Margaret Thatcher

Sometimes we receive the power to say yes to life. Then peace enters us and makes us whole. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and that's not saying much for you. - Groucho Marx

Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd,
Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorned. - William Congreve

A library should be the delivery room for the birth of ideas - a place where history comes to life. - Norman Cousins

She's the sort of woman who lives for others - you can tell the others by their hunted expression. - C S Lewis

Democracy is very different in U.S. and A. from Kazakhstan. In America, woman can vote, but horse cannot! - Borat Sagdiyev

If women want any rights more than they got, why don't they just take them and not be talking about it? - Sojourner Truth

Sex between a man and a woman can be wonderful, provided you get between the right man and the right woman. - Woody Allen

No man succeeds without a good woman behind him. Wife or mother, if it is both, he is twice blessed indeed. - Godfrey Winn

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen

The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes. - Robert Frost

For twenty-four years I've been in love with the same woman. If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me. - Henny Youngman

She wore far too much rouge last night and not quite enough clothes. That is always a sign of despair in a woman. - Oscar Wilde

Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw

All of the women on 'The Apprentice' flirted with me - consciously or unconsciously. That's to be expected. - Donald Trump

I think the only difference between me and the other candidates is that I'm more honest and my women are more beautiful. - Donald Trump

Women, as they grow older, rely more and more on cosmetics. Men, as they grow older, rely more and more on a sense of humor. - George Jean Nathan

A good friend is a connection to life - a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world. - Lois Wyse

There's something about a woman with a loud mind that sits in silence, smiling, knowing she can crush you with the truth. - R G Moon

Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building. - Oscar Wilde

Every woman's dream is that a man will take her in his arms, throw her into bed... and clean the whole house while she sleeps. - Unknown

I had very good dentures once. Some magnificent gold work. It's the only form of jewelry a man can wear that women fully appreciate. - Graham Greene

Now I lay facedown on the bed, sobbing for the woman who once slept here not knowing that someday one of her worst fears would come true. - Jennifer Castle

Being with a woman all night never hurt no professional baseball player. It's staying up all night looking for a woman that does him in. - Casey Stengel

A beautiful woman moved in next door. So I went over and returned a cup of sugar. "You didn't borrow this." "I will." - Steven Wright

Music is amoral law. It gives soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and charm and gaiety to life and to everything. - Plato

Under the present circumstances, I would rather be a lap dancer than a woman MP - the hours are better and unruly male members are shown the door. - Allison Pearson