Shortly after the 911 emergency number became available in her town, an elderly and quite ill blonde lady appeared in a hospital emergency room, having driven herself to the hospital and barely managing to stagger in from the parking lot.
The horrified nurse said, “Why didn’t you call the 911 number and get an
ambulance?”
The lady said, “My phone doesn’t have an eleven.”
Habits are the nursery of errors. - Victor Hugo
Never mistake endurance for hospitality. - Unknown
If the phone doesn't ring it's me. - Jimmy Buffett
Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet
Panic plays no part in the training of a nurse. - Elizabeth Kenny
Care shouldn't start in the emergency room. - James Douglas
Never invest emergency savings in the stock market. - Suze Orman
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx
After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields
Whether a person is a male or female, a nurse is a nurse. - Gary Veale
Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown
Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs. - Ambrose Bierce
If it’s the Psychic Network, why do they need a phone number? - Robin Williams
A nurse will always give us hope,
an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets
Confucius say: "Man who want pretty nurse, must be patient." - Unknown
Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg
Most of life's great moments happen when your phone is in your pocket. - Unknown
If we are a country committed to free speech, then why do we have phone bills? - Steven Wright
A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh
There is nothing so strong or safe in an emergency of life as the simple truth. - Charles Dickens
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx
My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex. She called me from Chicago last night. - Rodney Dangerfield
That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring. - Jeff Foxworthy
Bound by paperwork, short on hands, sleep, and energy... nurses are rarely short on caring. - Sharon Hudacek
For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. - Johnny Carson
Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold
If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman
When you’re a nurse you know that every day you will touch a life or a life will touch yours. - Unknown
E-mails are letters, after all, more lasting than phone calls, even if many of them r 2 cursory 4 u. - Anna Quindlen
One of the tests of leadership is the ability to recognize a problem before it becomes an emergency. - Arnold H. Glasow
You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown
The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer
Faith is a fine invention
When Gentlemen can see -
But Microscopes are prudent
In an Emergency. - Emily Dickinson
I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting. - Ronald Reagan
The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler
I thought of Shelley in the hospital, how she said sometimes sadness only looked like anger and judgment. Maybe fear did too. - Holly Cupala
The best way to meet a woman is in an emergency situation - if you're in a shipwreck, or you find yourself behind enemy lines, or in a flood. - Mark Helprin
Never mistake endurance for hospitality. - Unknown
If the phone doesn't ring it's me. - Jimmy Buffett
Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet
Panic plays no part in the training of a nurse. - Elizabeth Kenny
Care shouldn't start in the emergency room. - James Douglas
Never invest emergency savings in the stock market. - Suze Orman
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx
After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields
Whether a person is a male or female, a nurse is a nurse. - Gary Veale
Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown
Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs. - Ambrose Bierce
If it’s the Psychic Network, why do they need a phone number? - Robin Williams
A nurse will always give us hope,
an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets
Confucius say: "Man who want pretty nurse, must be patient." - Unknown
Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg
Most of life's great moments happen when your phone is in your pocket. - Unknown
If we are a country committed to free speech, then why do we have phone bills? - Steven Wright
A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh
There is nothing so strong or safe in an emergency of life as the simple truth. - Charles Dickens
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx
My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex. She called me from Chicago last night. - Rodney Dangerfield
That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring. - Jeff Foxworthy
Bound by paperwork, short on hands, sleep, and energy... nurses are rarely short on caring. - Sharon Hudacek
For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. - Johnny Carson
Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold
If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman
When you’re a nurse you know that every day you will touch a life or a life will touch yours. - Unknown
E-mails are letters, after all, more lasting than phone calls, even if many of them r 2 cursory 4 u. - Anna Quindlen
One of the tests of leadership is the ability to recognize a problem before it becomes an emergency. - Arnold H. Glasow
You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown
The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer
Faith is a fine invention
When Gentlemen can see -
But Microscopes are prudent
In an Emergency. - Emily Dickinson
I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting. - Ronald Reagan
The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler
I thought of Shelley in the hospital, how she said sometimes sadness only looked like anger and judgment. Maybe fear did too. - Holly Cupala
The best way to meet a woman is in an emergency situation - if you're in a shipwreck, or you find yourself behind enemy lines, or in a flood. - Mark Helprin
see also Blonde, Emergency & Telephone Sections
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29-Jan-2020 |