Two Doctors opened an office in a small town and put up a sign reading, “Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones, Psychiatry and Proctology.” The town council was not too happy with that sign, so the Doctors changed it to: “Hysterias and Posteriors.” This was not acceptable either, so in an effort to satisfy the council, they changed the sign to: “Schizoids and Hemorrhoids.” No go!
Next they tried: “Catatonics and High Colonics.” Thumbs down again.
Then came: “Manic-depressives and Anal-retentives.” Still not good.
How about: “Minds and Behinds.” Unacceptable again.
So they tried: “Lost Souls and Ass Holes.” Still no go.
Nor did “Analysis and Anal Cysts”, “Nuts and
Butts”, “Freaks and Cheeks”, or “Loons and Moons” work either.
Almost at their wits end, the Doctors finally came up with a title they thought might be acceptable to the council: “Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones, Odds and Ends.”
“APPROVED”
Birth patrol pills. - Archie Bunker
The first wealth is health. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Grief is itself a medicine. - William Cowper
Gangrene: To be feeling sick - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Diabetes taught me discipline. - Sonia Sotomayor
Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid
Happiness is health and a short memory. - Unknown
I speak two languages, English and Body. - Mae West
Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer
Happiness is good health and a bad memory. - Ingrid Bergman
Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet
I've tried body surfing. It's nice. - Ziggy Marley
Space ails us moderns: we are sick with space. - Robert Frost
I was just viciously body shamed by my mirror. - Danny Zuker
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you. - Carl Jung
Sickness comes on horseback but departs on foot. - Dutch Proverb
False Doctrine: Giving people the wrong medicine - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for. - Irish Proverb
When I first found out I had diabetes I denied it. - Nell Carter
A room without books is like a body without a soul. - Marcus Tullius Cicero
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan
Life without liberty is like a body without spirit. - Khalil Gibran
Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito
Health insurance should be a given for every citizen. - Jesse Ventura
Dancing: The Highest Intelligence in the Freest Body. - Isadora Duncan
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx
There is no cure for death, save to enjoy the interval. - George Santayana
No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb
People who shop in health food stores never look healthy. - Amy Sedaris
Never ever lose your head. Its the best part of your body. - Art Rooney
You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body. - C S Lewis
If we become ill, modern medicine can work healing miracles. - Joseph B Wirthlin
If you ignore your health for long enough, it'll go away. - Unknown
Medicine is a science of uncertainty and an art of probability. - William Osler
Take care of your body. It's the only place you have to live. - Jim Rohn
I'll never forget my wedding day... they threw vitamin pills. - Groucho Marx
Stories are memory aids, instruction manuals and moral compasses. - Aleks Krotoski
Medicine is only for those who cannot imagine doing anything else. - Luanda Grazette
The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller
I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. - Winston Bennett
There is but one temple in the universe and that is the body of man. - Novalis
Being in a good frame of mind helps one keep in the picture of health. - Unknown
I do believe that laughter is the best medicine - it cures everything. - Radhika Apte
The best way to reduce the cost of medical care is to reduce the illness. - Arlen Specter
If it keeps up, man will atrophy all his limbs but the push-button finger. - Frank Lloyd Wright
In these times, God's people must trust him for rest of body and soul. - David Wilkerson
Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham
The police are not here to create disorder, they;re here to preserve disorder. - Richard J Daley
Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings
The doctors can cure all sorts of ills, except the shock of doctors' bills. - Unknown
Yoga teaches us to cure what need not be endured and endure what cannot be cured. - B.K. Iyengar
Cookie: The standard method for converting sugar, floor, and butter into body fat - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
People don't trust private health insurance companies for all the right reasons. - Bernie Sanders
Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime. - Scott Adams
One day my mortal body will turn to dust, but the Turkish Republic will stand forever. - Mustafa Kemel Ataturk
Life is not over because you have diabetes. Make the most of what you have, be grateful. - Dale Evans
The cure for a broken heart is simple, my lady. A hot bath and a good night's sleep. - Margaret George
To cure the British disease with socialism was like trying to cure leukemia with leeches. - Margaret Thatcher
Cheerfulness is the best promoter of health and is as friendly to the mind as to the body. - Joseph Addison
Stress exacerbates any problem, whether it's diabetes, heart trouble, MS, or whatever. - Mary Ann Mobley
My mother had this amazing attitude in the face of everything, including when she got cancer. - Bill Clinton
If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free. - P.J. O'Rourke
The world was made for the body. The body was made for the soul. And the soul was made for God. - Ravi Zacharias
I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne
Mental health problems do not affect three or four out of every five persons but one out of one. - William Menninger
A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown
Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha
The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer
I love being married. I was single for a long time, and I just got so sick of finishing my own sentences. - Brian Kiley
They have gun control in Cuba. They have universal health care in Cuba. So why do they want to come here? - Paul Harvey
You know when you eat too many sweets and get diabetes? Paparazzi are the diabetes of materialistic culture. - Shirley MacLaine
If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov
Yoga is really trying to liberate us from shame about our bodies. To love your body is a very important thing. - Rodney Yee
Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson
I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis
The soul is placed in the body like a rough diamond, and must be polished, or the luster of it will never appear. - Daniel Defoe
Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope
The public needs to know - they need to know as much about atrial fibrillation as they do about cancer and diabetes. - Barry Manilow
Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi
It's a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate. - Dave Barry
It is astonishing with how little reading a doctor can practice medicine, but is not astonishing how badly he may do it. - William Osler
My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle
Medicine is the restoration of discordant elements; sickness is the discord of the elements infused into the living body. - Leonardo da Vinci
You can catch health, happiness, and success from others just as easily as you can catch worries, bitterness, and failure. - Dale Carnegie
'Psychotherapy' is a private, confidential conversation that has nothing to do with illness, medicine, or healing. - Thomas Szasz
Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden
Trying to manage diabetes is hard because if you don't, there are consequences you'll have to deal with later in life. - Bryan Adams
It is reasonable to expect the doctor to recognize that science may not have all the answers to problems of health and healing. - Norman Cousins
Science may have found a cure for most evils, but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all - the apathy of human beings. - Helen Keller
I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman
A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer
My whole body is a wreck. I've injured myself so many times with jujitsu, skateboarding, football. I guess I like to live hard. - Scott Caan
I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield
I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright
There is a great difference between mind and body insomuch as body is by nature always divisible, and the mind is entirely indivisible. - Rene Descartes
Getting wrapped up in worries is bad for your body and spirit. That's when you must short out your logic circuits and reboot your heart. - Pokemon
Health is the finest possession. Contentment is the ultimate wealth. Trustworthy people are the best relatives. Unbinding is the supreme ease. - Buddha
I'm going to make people happy. I'm going to make them forget about their cancer. I'm going to make them forget about their diabetes. - Dick Dale
When you are called to a sick man, be sure you know what the matter is — if you do not know, nature can do a great deal better than you can guess. - Nicholas de Belleville
My mother had a slender, small body, but a large heart - a heart so large that everybody's joys found welcome in it, and hospitable accommodation. - Mark Twain
The first wealth is health. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Grief is itself a medicine. - William Cowper
Gangrene: To be feeling sick - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Diabetes taught me discipline. - Sonia Sotomayor
Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid
Happiness is health and a short memory. - Unknown
I speak two languages, English and Body. - Mae West
Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer
Happiness is good health and a bad memory. - Ingrid Bergman
Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet
I've tried body surfing. It's nice. - Ziggy Marley
Space ails us moderns: we are sick with space. - Robert Frost
I was just viciously body shamed by my mirror. - Danny Zuker
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you. - Carl Jung
Sickness comes on horseback but departs on foot. - Dutch Proverb
False Doctrine: Giving people the wrong medicine - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for. - Irish Proverb
When I first found out I had diabetes I denied it. - Nell Carter
A room without books is like a body without a soul. - Marcus Tullius Cicero
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan
Life without liberty is like a body without spirit. - Khalil Gibran
Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito
Health insurance should be a given for every citizen. - Jesse Ventura
Dancing: The Highest Intelligence in the Freest Body. - Isadora Duncan
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx
There is no cure for death, save to enjoy the interval. - George Santayana
No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb
People who shop in health food stores never look healthy. - Amy Sedaris
Never ever lose your head. Its the best part of your body. - Art Rooney
You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body. - C S Lewis
If we become ill, modern medicine can work healing miracles. - Joseph B Wirthlin
If you ignore your health for long enough, it'll go away. - Unknown
Medicine is a science of uncertainty and an art of probability. - William Osler
Take care of your body. It's the only place you have to live. - Jim Rohn
I'll never forget my wedding day... they threw vitamin pills. - Groucho Marx
Stories are memory aids, instruction manuals and moral compasses. - Aleks Krotoski
Medicine is only for those who cannot imagine doing anything else. - Luanda Grazette
The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller
I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. - Winston Bennett
There is but one temple in the universe and that is the body of man. - Novalis
Being in a good frame of mind helps one keep in the picture of health. - Unknown
I do believe that laughter is the best medicine - it cures everything. - Radhika Apte
The best way to reduce the cost of medical care is to reduce the illness. - Arlen Specter
If it keeps up, man will atrophy all his limbs but the push-button finger. - Frank Lloyd Wright
In these times, God's people must trust him for rest of body and soul. - David Wilkerson
Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham
The police are not here to create disorder, they;re here to preserve disorder. - Richard J Daley
Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings
The doctors can cure all sorts of ills, except the shock of doctors' bills. - Unknown
Yoga teaches us to cure what need not be endured and endure what cannot be cured. - B.K. Iyengar
Cookie: The standard method for converting sugar, floor, and butter into body fat - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
People don't trust private health insurance companies for all the right reasons. - Bernie Sanders
Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime. - Scott Adams
One day my mortal body will turn to dust, but the Turkish Republic will stand forever. - Mustafa Kemel Ataturk
Life is not over because you have diabetes. Make the most of what you have, be grateful. - Dale Evans
The cure for a broken heart is simple, my lady. A hot bath and a good night's sleep. - Margaret George
To cure the British disease with socialism was like trying to cure leukemia with leeches. - Margaret Thatcher
Cheerfulness is the best promoter of health and is as friendly to the mind as to the body. - Joseph Addison
Stress exacerbates any problem, whether it's diabetes, heart trouble, MS, or whatever. - Mary Ann Mobley
My mother had this amazing attitude in the face of everything, including when she got cancer. - Bill Clinton
If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free. - P.J. O'Rourke
The world was made for the body. The body was made for the soul. And the soul was made for God. - Ravi Zacharias
I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne
Mental health problems do not affect three or four out of every five persons but one out of one. - William Menninger
A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown
Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha
The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer
I love being married. I was single for a long time, and I just got so sick of finishing my own sentences. - Brian Kiley
They have gun control in Cuba. They have universal health care in Cuba. So why do they want to come here? - Paul Harvey
You know when you eat too many sweets and get diabetes? Paparazzi are the diabetes of materialistic culture. - Shirley MacLaine
If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov
Yoga is really trying to liberate us from shame about our bodies. To love your body is a very important thing. - Rodney Yee
Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson
I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis
The soul is placed in the body like a rough diamond, and must be polished, or the luster of it will never appear. - Daniel Defoe
Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope
The public needs to know - they need to know as much about atrial fibrillation as they do about cancer and diabetes. - Barry Manilow
Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi
It's a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate. - Dave Barry
It is astonishing with how little reading a doctor can practice medicine, but is not astonishing how badly he may do it. - William Osler
My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle
Medicine is the restoration of discordant elements; sickness is the discord of the elements infused into the living body. - Leonardo da Vinci
You can catch health, happiness, and success from others just as easily as you can catch worries, bitterness, and failure. - Dale Carnegie
'Psychotherapy' is a private, confidential conversation that has nothing to do with illness, medicine, or healing. - Thomas Szasz
Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden
Trying to manage diabetes is hard because if you don't, there are consequences you'll have to deal with later in life. - Bryan Adams
It is reasonable to expect the doctor to recognize that science may not have all the answers to problems of health and healing. - Norman Cousins
Science may have found a cure for most evils, but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all - the apathy of human beings. - Helen Keller
I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman
A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer
My whole body is a wreck. I've injured myself so many times with jujitsu, skateboarding, football. I guess I like to live hard. - Scott Caan
I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield
I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright
There is a great difference between mind and body insomuch as body is by nature always divisible, and the mind is entirely indivisible. - Rene Descartes
Getting wrapped up in worries is bad for your body and spirit. That's when you must short out your logic circuits and reboot your heart. - Pokemon
Health is the finest possession. Contentment is the ultimate wealth. Trustworthy people are the best relatives. Unbinding is the supreme ease. - Buddha
I'm going to make people happy. I'm going to make them forget about their cancer. I'm going to make them forget about their diabetes. - Dick Dale
When you are called to a sick man, be sure you know what the matter is — if you do not know, nature can do a great deal better than you can guess. - Nicholas de Belleville
My mother had a slender, small body, but a large heart - a heart so large that everybody's joys found welcome in it, and hospitable accommodation. - Mark Twain
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20-Oct-2020 |