Amish Mechanical Problems

An Amish fellow can tell when his equipment’s not working properly


An Amish lady is trotting down the road in her horse and buggy when she is pulled over by a cop.

“Ma’am, I’m not going to ticket you, but I do have to issue you a warning. You have a broken reflector on your buggy.”

“Oh, I’ll let my husband, Jacob, know as soon as I get home.”

“That’s fine. Another thing, ma’am. I don’t like the way that one rein loops across the horse’s back and around one of his testicles. I consider that animal abuse. That’s cruelty to animals. Have your husband take care of that right away!”

Later that day, the lady is home telling her husband about her encounter with the cop. “Well, dear, what exactly did he say?”

“He said the reflector is broken.”

“I can fix that in two minutes. What else?”

“I’m not sure, Jacob... something about the emergency brake...”


QuotaBills
I should like to be a horse. - Queen Elizabeth II

Nag: A woman with no horse sense - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Horse ovaries (hors d'oeuvres) - Archie Bunker

Install: Where you keep your horse - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Care shouldn't start in the emergency room. - James Douglas

Care, and not fine stables, makes a good horse. - Danish Proverb

The old horse in the stable still yearns to run. - Mongolian Proverb

Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse. - Groucho Marx

Never invest emergency savings in the stock market. - Suze Orman

This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother. - Ted Walsh

A rabbit's foot is a poor substitute for horse sense. - Unknown

Absent-Mindedness: Searching for the horse you are riding - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Horsepower: A power which has put the horse out of business - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Wiener: The first to cross the line in a Mexican horse race - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Horse Manure: 50p per pre-packed bag. 20p - do it your self. - Unknown

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him float. - Unknown

The only thing worse than beating a dead horse is betting on one. - Relient K

Riding: The art of keeping a horse between yourself and the ground - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A lame cat is better than a swift horse when rats infest the palace. - Chinese Proverb

Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg

A horse doesn't care how much you know until it knows how much you care. - Tom Smith

Dude Ranch: Where a guy who is rich enough to drive a Cadillac rides a horse - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It's hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse. - Adlai Stevenson

Take care to sell your horse before he dies. The art of life is passing losses on. - Robert Frost

Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake. - Jonathan Blake

The drivers have one foot on the brake, one on the clutch, and one on the throttle. - Bob Varsha

Half of the failures in life come from pulling one’s horse when he is leaping. - Thomas Hood

The one thing I do not want to be called is First Lady. It sounds like a saddle horse. - Jacqueline Kennedy

A horse gallops with his lungs, perseveres with his heart, and wins with his character. - Tesio

Good Secretary: A stenographer who must think like a man, act like a lady, and work like a horse - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A definite purpose, like blinders on a horse, inevitably narrows its possessor's point of view. - Robert Frost

Democracy is very different in U.S. and A. from Kazakhstan. In America, woman can vote, but horse cannot! - Borat Sagdiyev

Like the old adverb, "you can lead a gift horse to the water but ya can't look in his mouth." - Archie Bunker

A fly, Sir, may sting a stately horse and make him wince; but, one is but an insect, and the other is a horse still. - Samuel Johnson

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

Tension: 1. The price you pay for being a race horse instead of a plow horse; 2. What the sergeant shouts to his soldiers. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When you're young and you fall off a horse, you may break something. When you're my age and you fall off, you splatter. - Roy Rogers

We will never have to tell our horse that we are sad, happy, confident, angry or relaxed. He already knows - long before we do. - Marjike de Jong

Hypothesis: 1. First thing a Redneck teenager says to his father on the phone; 2. Hippo, horse; thesis, placing: putting something on a horse. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The man who makes no mistakes lacks boldness and the spirit of adventure. He never tries anything new. He is a brake on the wheels of progress. - M.W. Larmour


see also   Amish,  Horse  &  Mechanic  Sections
Amish 3 Horsepower Country Camper
Amish Airlines – Maiden Voyage
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Amish Friends
Amish Man’s Occupation
Amish Prom Limo
Amish Smart Car
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30-Nov-2021