Amish Mechanical Problems

An Amish fellow can tell when his equipment’s not working properly


An Amish lady is trotting down the road in her horse and buggy when she is pulled over by a cop.

“Ma’am, I’m not going to ticket you, but I do have to issue you a warning. You have a broken reflector on your buggy.”

“Oh, I’ll let my husband, Jacob, know as soon as I get home.”

“That’s fine. Another thing, ma’am. I don’t like the way that one rein loops across the horse’s back and around one of his testicles. I consider that animal abuse. That’s cruelty to animals. Have your husband take care of that right away!”

Later that day, the lady is home telling her husband about her encounter with the cop. “Well, dear, what exactly did he say?”

“He said the reflector is broken.”

“I can fix that in two minutes. What else?”

“I’m not sure, Jacob... something about the emergency brake...”


QuotaBills
Trojan Horse: A phony pony - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I should like to be a horse. - Queen Elizabeth II

Nag: A woman with no horse sense - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Horse ovaries (hors d'oeuvres) - Archie Bunker

Life looks better from the back of a horse. - Unknown

Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse. - Groucho Marx

Lend a horse, and you may have back his skin. - English Proverb

Stabilized: A horse that's been locked in - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Care, and not fine stables, makes a good horse. - Danish Proverb

Never invest emergency savings in the stock market. - Suze Orman

Giftedness is your accelerator; wisdom is your brake. - Gerald Brooks

You don't have to have been a horse to be a jockey. - Arigo Saachi

An orator without judgment is a horse without a bridle. - Theophrastus

Horsepower: A power which has put the horse out of business - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Horse Manure: 50p per pre-packed bag. 20p - do it your self. - Unknown

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. - English Proverb

Don't worry about the horse being blind, just load the wagon. - John Madden

The wagon rests in winter, the sleigh in summer, the horse never. - Yiddish Proverb

Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg

The power of music feels like taking a a nice brake from this busy world. - Millie DeWitt

At Motel 6 in Amish Country, I wonder if they leave the light on for you? - Jay London

A horse doesn't care how much you know until it knows how much you care. - Tom Smith

Dude Ranch: Where a guy who is rich enough to drive a Cadillac rides a horse - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Take care to sell your horse before he dies. The art of life is passing losses on. - Robert Frost

The drivers have one foot on the brake, one on the clutch, and one on the throttle. - Bob Varsha

Some people play a horse to win, some to place. I should have bet this horse to live. - Henny Youngman

You've got to concentrate on one idea. You can't ride a horse with two asses. - Joe Segal

A horse gallops with his lungs, perseveres with his heart, and wins with his character. - Tesio

One of the worst things that can happen in life is to win a bet on a horse at an early age. - Danny McGoorty

I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse. - Woody Allen

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

It is not best that we should all think alike; it is differences of opinion that make horse races. - Mark Twain

When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk

My husband is so good at home repairs that they have a special VIP area for him in the emergency room. - Unknown

Democracy is very different in U.S. and A. from Kazakhstan. In America, woman can vote, but horse cannot! - Borat Sagdiyev

Like the old adverb, "you can lead a gift horse to the water but ya can't look in his mouth." - Archie Bunker

Faith is a fine invention
When Gentlemen can see -
But Microscopes are prudent
In an Emergency. - Emily Dickinson

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

When you're young and you fall off a horse, you may break something. When you're my age and you fall off, you splatter. - Roy Rogers

Hypothesis: 1. First thing a Redneck teenager says to his father on the phone; 2. Hippo, horse; thesis, placing: putting something on a horse. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com


see also   Amish,  Horse  &  Mechanic  Sections
Amish 3 Horsepower Country Camper
Amish Airlines – Maiden Voyage
Amish Elevator View
Amish Friends
Amish Man’s Occupation
Amish Prom Limo
Amish Smart Car
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03-Jul-2022