An Amish lady is trotting down the road in her horse and buggy when she is pulled over by a cop.
“Ma’am, I’m not going to ticket you, but I do have to issue you a warning. You have a broken reflector on your buggy.”
“Oh, I’ll let my husband, Jacob, know as soon as I get home.”
“That’s fine. Another thing, ma’am. I don’t like the way that one rein loops across the horse’s back and around one of his testicles. I consider that animal abuse. That’s cruelty to animals. Have your husband take care of that right away!”
Later that day, the lady is home telling her husband about her encounter with the cop.
“Well, dear, what exactly did he say?”
“He said the reflector is broken.”
“I can fix that in two minutes. What else?”
“I’m not sure, Jacob... something about the emergency brake...”
I should like to be a horse. - Queen Elizabeth II
Horse ovaries (hors d'oeuvres) - Archie Bunker
A Horse! A Horse! My kingdom for a horse! - William Shakespeare
Life looks better from the back of a horse. - Unknown
Lend a horse, and you may have back his skin. - English Proverb
Few girls are as well shaped as a good horse. - Christopher Morley
A unicorn is just a horse with a point of view. - Ron Sexsmith
Care, and not fine stables, makes a good horse. - Danish Proverb
The speed of a runaway horse counts for nothing. - Jean Cocteau
The old horse in the stable still yearns to run. - Mongolian Proverb
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse. - Groucho Marx
I had the best buffalo horse that ever made a track. - Buffalo Bill
This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother. - Ted Walsh
Horse Manure: 50p per pre-packed bag. 20p - do it your self. - Unknown
Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight, and bull-strong. - Unknown
Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs. - Ambrose Bierce
Don't worry about the horse being blind, just load the wagon. - John Madden
The wagon rests in winter, the sleigh in summer, the horse never. - Yiddish Proverb
A lame cat is better than a swift horse when rats infest the palace. - Chinese Proverb
All music is folk music. I ain't never heard no horse sing a song. - Louis Armstrong
It's too late to close the stable door after the horse has bolted. - French Proverb
Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg
At Motel 6 in Amish Country, I wonder if they leave the light on for you? - Jay London
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people. - WC Fields
A horse doesn't care how much you know until it knows how much you care. - Tom Smith
You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek
It's hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse. - Adlai Stevenson
Perspective is to painting what the bridle is to the horse, the rudder to a ship. - Leonardo da Vinci
Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake. - Jonathan Blake
You've got to concentrate on one idea. You can't ride a horse with two asses. - Joe Segal
The one thing I do not want to be called is First Lady. It sounds like a saddle horse. - Jacqueline Kennedy
And God took a handful of southerly wind, blew His breath over it and created the horse. - Bedouin Legend
I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse. - Woody Allen
Thank you, horseradish, for being neither a radish nor a horse. What you are is a liar food. - Jimmy Fallon
One of the tests of leadership is the ability to recognize a problem before it becomes an emergency. - Arnold H. Glasow
Democracy is very different in U.S. and A. from Kazakhstan. In America, woman can vote, but horse cannot! - Borat Sagdiyev
A fly, Sir, may sting a stately horse and make him wince; but, one is but an insect, and the other is a horse still. - Samuel Johnson
Do you ever get halfway through eating a horse and go, 'You know, I'm not as hungry as I thought I was'? - Tim Vinel
When you're young and you fall off a horse, you may break something. When you're my age and you fall off, you splatter. - Roy Rogers
We will never have to tell our horse that we are sad, happy, confident, angry or relaxed. He already knows - long before we do. - Marjike de Jong
Horse ovaries (hors d'oeuvres) - Archie Bunker
A Horse! A Horse! My kingdom for a horse! - William Shakespeare
Life looks better from the back of a horse. - Unknown
Lend a horse, and you may have back his skin. - English Proverb
Few girls are as well shaped as a good horse. - Christopher Morley
A unicorn is just a horse with a point of view. - Ron Sexsmith
Care, and not fine stables, makes a good horse. - Danish Proverb
The speed of a runaway horse counts for nothing. - Jean Cocteau
The old horse in the stable still yearns to run. - Mongolian Proverb
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse. - Groucho Marx
I had the best buffalo horse that ever made a track. - Buffalo Bill
This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother. - Ted Walsh
Horse Manure: 50p per pre-packed bag. 20p - do it your self. - Unknown
Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight, and bull-strong. - Unknown
Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs. - Ambrose Bierce
Don't worry about the horse being blind, just load the wagon. - John Madden
The wagon rests in winter, the sleigh in summer, the horse never. - Yiddish Proverb
A lame cat is better than a swift horse when rats infest the palace. - Chinese Proverb
All music is folk music. I ain't never heard no horse sing a song. - Louis Armstrong
It's too late to close the stable door after the horse has bolted. - French Proverb
Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg
At Motel 6 in Amish Country, I wonder if they leave the light on for you? - Jay London
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people. - WC Fields
A horse doesn't care how much you know until it knows how much you care. - Tom Smith
You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek
It's hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse. - Adlai Stevenson
Perspective is to painting what the bridle is to the horse, the rudder to a ship. - Leonardo da Vinci
Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake. - Jonathan Blake
You've got to concentrate on one idea. You can't ride a horse with two asses. - Joe Segal
The one thing I do not want to be called is First Lady. It sounds like a saddle horse. - Jacqueline Kennedy
And God took a handful of southerly wind, blew His breath over it and created the horse. - Bedouin Legend
I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse. - Woody Allen
Thank you, horseradish, for being neither a radish nor a horse. What you are is a liar food. - Jimmy Fallon
One of the tests of leadership is the ability to recognize a problem before it becomes an emergency. - Arnold H. Glasow
Democracy is very different in U.S. and A. from Kazakhstan. In America, woman can vote, but horse cannot! - Borat Sagdiyev
A fly, Sir, may sting a stately horse and make him wince; but, one is but an insect, and the other is a horse still. - Samuel Johnson
Do you ever get halfway through eating a horse and go, 'You know, I'm not as hungry as I thought I was'? - Tim Vinel
When you're young and you fall off a horse, you may break something. When you're my age and you fall off, you splatter. - Roy Rogers
We will never have to tell our horse that we are sad, happy, confident, angry or relaxed. He already knows - long before we do. - Marjike de Jong
see also Amish, Horse & Mechanic Sections
Amish 3 Horsepower Country Camper
Amish Airlines – Maiden Voyage
Amish Elevator View
Amish Friends
Amish Man’s Occupation
Amish Prom Limo
Amish Smart Car
Fire Truck Parts
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01-Oct-2020 |