Amish Mechanical Problems

An Amish fellow can tell when his equipment’s not working properly


An Amish lady is trotting down the road in her horse and buggy when she is pulled over by a cop.

“Ma’am, I’m not going to ticket you, but I do have to issue you a warning. You have a broken reflector on your buggy.”

“Oh, I’ll let my husband, Jacob, know as soon as I get home.”

“That’s fine. Another thing, ma’am. I don’t like the way that one rein loops across the horse’s back and around one of his testicles. I consider that animal abuse. That’s cruelty to animals. Have your husband take care of that right away!”

Later that day, the lady is home telling her husband about her encounter with the cop. “Well, dear, what exactly did he say?”

“He said the reflector is broken.”

“I can fix that in two minutes. What else?”

“I’m not sure, Jacob... something about the emergency brake...”


QuotaBills
I should like to be a horse. - Queen Elizabeth II

Horse ovaries (hors d'oeuvres) - Archie Bunker

A Horse! A Horse! My kingdom for a horse! - William Shakespeare

Life looks better from the back of a horse. - Unknown

Lend a horse, and you may have back his skin. - English Proverb

Few girls are as well shaped as a good horse. - Christopher Morley

A unicorn is just a horse with a point of view. - Ron Sexsmith

Care, and not fine stables, makes a good horse. - Danish Proverb

The speed of a runaway horse counts for nothing. - Jean Cocteau

The old horse in the stable still yearns to run. - Mongolian Proverb

Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse. - Groucho Marx

I had the best buffalo horse that ever made a track. - Buffalo Bill

This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother. - Ted Walsh

Horse Manure: 50p per pre-packed bag. 20p - do it your self. - Unknown

Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight, and bull-strong. - Unknown

Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs. - Ambrose Bierce

Don't worry about the horse being blind, just load the wagon. - John Madden

The wagon rests in winter, the sleigh in summer, the horse never. - Yiddish Proverb

A lame cat is better than a swift horse when rats infest the palace. - Chinese Proverb

All music is folk music. I ain't never heard no horse sing a song. - Louis Armstrong

It's too late to close the stable door after the horse has bolted. - French Proverb

Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg

At Motel 6 in Amish Country, I wonder if they leave the light on for you? - Jay London

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people. - WC Fields

A horse doesn't care how much you know until it knows how much you care. - Tom Smith

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

It's hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse. - Adlai Stevenson

Perspective is to painting what the bridle is to the horse, the rudder to a ship. - Leonardo da Vinci

Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake. - Jonathan Blake

You've got to concentrate on one idea. You can't ride a horse with two asses. - Joe Segal

The one thing I do not want to be called is First Lady. It sounds like a saddle horse. - Jacqueline Kennedy

And God took a handful of southerly wind, blew His breath over it and created the horse. - Bedouin Legend

I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse. - Woody Allen

Thank you, horseradish, for being neither a radish nor a horse. What you are is a liar food. - Jimmy Fallon

One of the tests of leadership is the ability to recognize a problem before it becomes an emergency. - Arnold H. Glasow

Democracy is very different in U.S. and A. from Kazakhstan. In America, woman can vote, but horse cannot! - Borat Sagdiyev

A fly, Sir, may sting a stately horse and make him wince; but, one is but an insect, and the other is a horse still. - Samuel Johnson

Do you ever get halfway through eating a horse and go, 'You know, I'm not as hungry as I thought I was'? - Tim Vinel

When you're young and you fall off a horse, you may break something. When you're my age and you fall off, you splatter. - Roy Rogers

We will never have to tell our horse that we are sad, happy, confident, angry or relaxed. He already knows - long before we do. - Marjike de Jong


see also   Amish,  Horse  &  Mechanic  Sections
Amish 3 Horsepower Country Camper
Amish Airlines – Maiden Voyage
Amish Elevator View
Amish Friends
Amish Man’s Occupation
Amish Prom Limo
Amish Smart Car
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01-Oct-2020