Amish Mechanical Problems

An Amish fellow can tell when his equipment’s not working properly


An Amish lady is trotting down the road in her horse and buggy when she is pulled over by a cop.

“Ma’am, I’m not going to ticket you, but I do have to issue you a warning. You have a broken reflector on your buggy.”

“Oh, I’ll let my husband, Jacob, know as soon as I get home.”

“That’s fine. Another thing, ma’am. I don’t like the way that one rein loops across the horse’s back and around one of his testicles. I consider that animal abuse. That’s cruelty to animals. Have your husband take care of that right away!”

Later that day, the lady is home telling her husband about her encounter with the cop. “Well, dear, what exactly did he say?”

“He said the reflector is broken.”

“I can fix that in two minutes. What else?”

“I’m not sure, Jacob... something about the emergency brake...”


QuotaBills
Use a little of your horse's sense. - Archie Bunker

A Horse! A Horse! My kingdom for a horse! - William Shakespeare

Life looks better from the back of a horse. - Unknown

Lend a horse, and you may have back his skin. - English Proverb

Few girls are as well shaped as a good horse. - Christopher Morley

A unicorn is just a horse with a point of view. - Ron Sexsmith

The old horse in the stable still yearns to run. - Mongolian Proverb

Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse. - Groucho Marx

I had the best buffalo horse that ever made a track. - Buffalo Bill

An orator without judgment is a horse without a bridle. - Theophrastus

A rabbit's foot is a poor substitute for horse sense. - Unknown

Life is like a horse - either you ride it or it rides you. - Unknown

Horse Manure: 50p per pre-packed bag. 20p - do it your self. - Unknown

Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight, and bull-strong. - Unknown

Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs. - Ambrose Bierce

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him float. - Unknown

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. - English Proverb

Don't worry about the horse being blind, just load the wagon. - John Madden

The wagon rests in winter, the sleigh in summer, the horse never. - Yiddish Proverb

Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg

The power of music feels like taking a a nice brake from this busy world. - Millie DeWitt

Perspective is to painting what the bridle is to the horse, the rudder to a ship. - Leonardo da Vinci

Take care to sell your horse before he dies. The art of life is passing losses on. - Robert Frost

Some people play a horse to win, some to place. I should have bet this horse to live. - Henny Youngman

You've got to concentrate on one idea. You can't ride a horse with two asses. - Joe Segal

The one thing I do not want to be called is First Lady. It sounds like a saddle horse. - Jacqueline Kennedy

A horse gallops with his lungs, perseveres with his heart, and wins with his character. - Tesio

And God took a handful of southerly wind, blew His breath over it and created the horse. - Bedouin Legend

One of the worst things that can happen in life is to win a bet on a horse at an early age. - Danny McGoorty

I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse. - Woody Allen

Thank you, horseradish, for being neither a radish nor a horse. What you are is a liar food. - Jimmy Fallon

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

One of the tests of leadership is the ability to recognize a problem before it becomes an emergency. - Arnold H. Glasow

When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk

My husband is so good at home repairs that they have a special VIP area for him in the emergency room. - Unknown

Like the old adverb, "you can lead a gift horse to the water but ya can't look in his mouth." - Archie Bunker

Faith is a fine invention
When Gentlemen can see -
But Microscopes are prudent
In an Emergency. - Emily Dickinson

I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting. - Ronald Reagan

When you're young and you fall off a horse, you may break something. When you're my age and you fall off, you splatter. - Roy Rogers

The man who makes no mistakes lacks boldness and the spirit of adventure. He never tries anything new. He is a brake on the wheels of progress. - M.W. Larmour


see also   Amish,  Horse  &  Mechanic  Sections
Amish 3 Horsepower Country Camper
Amish Airlines – Maiden Voyage
Amish Elevator View
Amish Friends
Amish Man’s Occupation
Amish Prom Limo
Amish Smart Car
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24-Jan-2021