Amish Elevator View

What goes up “better” come down

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.

The boy asked, “What is this, Father?”
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, “Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life - I don’t know what it is.”

While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous, voluptuous 24-year-old blonde woman stepped out.

The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son, “Go get your mother.”

QuotaBills
Man has his will, but woman has her way. - Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a net. - Cynthia Heimel

Waitress: A woman who thinks money grows on trays - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A wit should be no more sincere than a woman constant. - William Congreve

I always have an optimistic view, no matter what it is. - Stephen Curry

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button. - Sam Levenson

I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks. - Steve Martin

The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her. - Marcelene Cox

My first day as a woman and I am already having hot flushes. - Robin Williams

A friend is one who sees through you and still enjoys the view. - Wilma Askinas

A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him. - Brendan Francis

Frump: A woman who looks her age and doesn't try to overlook it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason. - Stanley Baldwin

Break the ice in a crowded elevator by asking how much everyone weighs. - Bill Murray

Show me a woman who doesn't feel guilty and I'll show you a man. - Erica Jong

A woman must have money and a room of her own if she is to write fiction. - Virginia Woolf

A woman knows the face of the man she loves as a sailor knows the open sea. - Honore de Balzac

The testimony of a woman has only half the value of the testimony of a man. - Iranian Penal Code

No woman should ever be quite accurate about her age. It looks so calculating. - Oscar Wilde

A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction. - Oscar Wilde

Only choose in marriage a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man. - Joseph Joubert

Moving doesn't change who you are. It only changes the view outside your window. - Rachel Hollis

And what is better than wisdom? Woman. And what is better than a good woman? Nothing. - Geoffrey Chaucer

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is. - Helen Rowland

I have the body but of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the heart and stomach of a King. - Elizabeth I

The age of a woman doesn't mean a thing. The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and that's not saying much for you. - Groucho Marx

My idea of walking into the jaws of death is marrying some woman who'd lost three husbands. - Kin Hubbard

Nut Bar: someone who has a polar opposite world view which is contrary to your own biased opinions - Debbie Milne

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?" - Dumas

A woman's dress should be like a barbed-wire fence: serving its purpose without obstructing the view. - Sophia Loren

There goes a woman who knows all the things that can be taught and none of the things that cannot be taught. - Coco Chanel

She wore far too much rouge last night and not quite enough clothes. That is always a sign of despair in a woman. - Oscar Wilde

Career Woman: One who goes out and earns a man's salary instead of sitting at home and taking it away from him - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Perhaps our eyes need to be washed by our tears once in a while, so that we can see life with a clearer view again. - Alex Tan

There's something about a woman with a loud mind that sits in silence, smiling, knowing she can crush you with the truth. - R G Moon

Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building. - Oscar Wilde

Babies are bits of stardust, blown from the hand of God. Lucky the woman who knows the pangs of birth, for she has held a star. - Larry Barratto

If a woman says, 'Do what you want', do not do what you want. Stand still. Do not blink. Don't even breathe. Just play dead. - Unknown

Under the present circumstances, I would rather be a lap dancer than a woman MP - the hours are better and unruly male members are shown the door. - Allison Pearson


see also   Amish & Mennonite   Section
Amish 3 Horsepower Country Camper
Amish Airlines – Maiden Voyage
Amish Centerfold
Amish Friends
Amish Man’s Occupation
Amish Mechanical Problems
Amish Prom Limo
Amish Smart Car
Looking For Your Wife?

 

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Hand Held Tourist

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30-Jun-2022