Amish Elevator View

What goes up “better” come down

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.

The boy asked, “What is this, Father?”
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, “Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life - I don’t know what it is.”

While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous, voluptuous 24-year-old blonde woman stepped out.

The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son, “Go get your mother.”

QuotaBills
The woman that deliberates is lost. - Joseph Addison

I'm a woman who wants her chocolate. - Jessica Simpson

I was with book, as a woman is with child. - C S Lewis

Hell hath no fury like a woman's corns. - Archie Bunker

For most of history, Anonymous was a woman. - Virginia Woolf

Her husband was infidelicate with another woman. - Archie Bunker

When a woman is openly bad she is then at her best. - Latin Proverb

Once made equal to man, woman becomes his superior. - Socrates

A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke. - Rudyard Kipling

I am a strong woman because a strong woman raised me. - Unknown

It is sweet to view the sea when standing on the shore. - Archippus

A weeping man and a smiling woman are not to be trusted. - Indian Proverb

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button. - Sam Levenson

A woman's best protection is a little money of her own. - Clare B Luce

My first day as a woman and I am already having hot flushes. - Robin Williams

There is no elevator to success - you have to take the stairs. - Unknown

Her mother was a cultivated woman - she was born in a greenhouse. - Spike Milligan

I've never struck a woman in my life, not even my own mother. - WC Fields

Nature Lover: A person who, when treed by a bear, enjoys the view - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of. - Mae West

I would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason. - Stanley Baldwin

The testimony of a woman has only half the value of the testimony of a man. - Iranian Penal Code

The woman who can create her own job is the one who will win fame and fortune. - Amelia Earhart

Beauty is the first present nature gives to a woman and the first it takes away. - Fay Weldon

An ugly woman is a disease of the stomach; a handsome woman a disease of the head. - Italian Proverb

Only choose in marriage a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man. - Joseph Joubert

No honest work of man or woman "fails"; it feeds the sum of all human action. - Michelene Wandor

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is. - Helen Rowland

When a man has once loved a woman he will do anything for her except continue to love her. - Oscar Wilde

The clothes in themselves do not make a statement. The woman makes the statement and the dress helps. - Jean Muir

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

No woman is worth more than a fiver unless you're in love with her. Then she is worth all she costs you. - W Somerset Maugham

I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with the word 'Guess' on it. I said, "Thyroid problem?" - Arnold Schwarzenegger

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. - Lana Turner

There's something about a woman with a loud mind that sits in silence, smiling, knowing she can crush you with the truth. - R G Moon

A physician is obligated to consider more than a diseased organ, more even than the whole man - he must view the man in his world. - Harvey Cushing

When a woman puts on a heel, she has a different posture, a different attitude. She really stands up and has a consciousness of her body. - Christian Louboutin

Every man and woman is born into the world to do something unique and distinctive, and if he or she does not do it, it will never be done. - Benjamin E. Mays

Never play cards with a man called Doc, never eat at a place called Mom's, and never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own. - Nelson Algren

A woman with confidence is hypnotic. A smile is mesmerizing. Presence, openness, a sense of humor - these are all things that make a woman attractive. - Jessica Ortner


see also   Amish & Mennonite   Section
Amish 3 Horsepower Country Camper
Amish Airlines – Maiden Voyage
Amish Centerfold
Amish Friends
Amish Man’s Occupation
Amish Mechanical Problems
Amish Prom Limo
Amish Smart Car
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25-Feb-2021