Amish Elevator View

What goes up “better” come down

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.

The boy asked, “What is this, Father?”
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, “Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life - I don’t know what it is.”

While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous, voluptuous 24-year-old blonde woman stepped out.

The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son, “Go get your mother.”

QuotaBills
Tis brief, my lord... as woman's love. - William Shakespeare

A woman's work is never done - by men. - Unknown

Hell hath no fury like a woman's corns. - Archie Bunker

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a net. - Cynthia Heimel

Taking joy in life is a woman's best cosmetic. - Rosalind Russell

The woman cries before the wedding and the man after. - Polish Proverb

A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke. - Rudyard Kipling

A woman's always younger than a man of equal years. - Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Temptation is a woman's weapon and man's excuse. - H L Mencken

A weeping man and a smiling woman are not to be trusted. - Indian Proverb

The smiles of a pretty woman are the tears of the purse. - Italian Proverb

A woman is attractive when she is somebody else's wife. - African Proverb

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Wilhelm II

There is no elevator to success - you have to take the stairs. - Unknown

A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears. - Woodrow Wyatt

A friend is one who sees through you and still enjoys the view. - Wilma Askinas

That woman is liable to come at you like a Doberman's Pincher. - Archie Bunker

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of. - Mae West

Show me a woman who doesn't feel guilty and I'll show you a man. - Erica Jong

I wouldn't be caught dead marrying a woman old enough to be my wife. - Tony Curtis

Joy Of Motherhood: What a woman experiences when all the kids are in bed - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

At Motel 6 in Amish Country, I wonder if they leave the light on for you? - Jay London

There are worse occupations in this world than feeling a woman's pulse. - Laurence Sterne

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. - Natalie Wood

This woman was so cross-eyed. She can go to a tennis match and never move her head. - Phyllis Diller

The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby. - Mary Marsh

No honest work of man or woman "fails"; it feeds the sum of all human action. - Michelene Wandor

When a man has once loved a woman he will do anything for her except continue to love her. - Oscar Wilde

Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd,
Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorned. - William Congreve

I would venture to guess that Anon, who wrote so many poems without signing them, was often a woman. - Virginia Woolf

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard for the night, she can still survive. - WC Fields

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

There goes a woman who knows all the things that can be taught and none of the things that cannot be taught. - Coco Chanel

Remember, we're fighting for this woman’s honor, which is probably far more than she's ever done! - Groucho Marx

Never try to impress a woman because if you do, you'll have to keep up that standard the rest of your life. - WC Fields

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. - Sam Levenson

If a woman says, 'Do what you want', do not do what you want. Stand still. Do not blink. Don't even breathe. Just play dead. - Unknown

Every man and woman is born into the world to do something unique and distinctive, and if he or she does not do it, it will never be done. - Benjamin E. Mays

When I was a young man I vowed never to marry until I found the ideal woman. Well, I found her but, alas, she was waiting for the ideal man. - Alain

The best way to meet a woman is in an emergency situation - if you're in a shipwreck, or you find yourself behind enemy lines, or in a flood. - Mark Helprin


see also   Amish & Mennonite   Section
Amish 3 Horsepower Country Camper
Amish Airlines – Maiden Voyage
Amish Centerfold
Amish Friends
Amish Man’s Occupation
Amish Mechanical Problems
Amish Prom Limo
Amish Smart Car
Looking For Your Wife?

 

Mow Your Lawn

Drinking Alone

being Fearless

Bible Bar

A Good Woman

Tunnel Face

Wheelchair Access

Dog Training for Dummies

Pineapple Slicer

Pole Safety

Singapore SkyPark

Nintendo Guitar

Road Detour

Jerushalom

Hot Seat
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12-Jul-2020