Amish Elevator View

What goes up “better” come down

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.

The boy asked, “What is this, Father?”
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, “Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life - I don’t know what it is.”

While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous, voluptuous 24-year-old blonde woman stepped out.

The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son, “Go get your mother.”

QuotaBills
Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken

I'm a woman who wants her chocolate. - Jessica Simpson

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a net. - Cynthia Heimel

There's a great woman behind every idiot. - John Lennon

A man's only as old as the woman he feels. - Groucho Marx

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. - Irina Dunn

Jade: A semi-precious stone or a semi-precious woman - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The woman cries before the wedding and the man after. - Polish Proverb

A wit should be no more sincere than a woman constant. - William Congreve

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. - Gloria Steinem

A desk is a dangerous place from which to view the world. - John Le Carre

I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks. - Steve Martin

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known. - Walt Disney

I love bringing roses to a woman when she least expects it. - Esai Morales

If you can make a woman laugh, you can make her do anything. - Marilyn Monroe

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Wilhelm II

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of. - Mae West

A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes. - Joseph Addison

Break the ice in a crowded elevator by asking how much everyone weighs. - Bill Murray

Joy Of Motherhood: What a woman experiences when all the kids are in bed - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A woman knows the face of the man she loves as a sailor knows the open sea. - Honore de Balzac

The woman who can create her own job is the one who will win fame and fortune. - Amelia Earhart

My vigour, vitality, and cheek repel me. I am the kind of woman I would run from. - Nancy Astor

This woman was so cross-eyed. She can go to a tennis match and never move her head. - Phyllis Diller

A woman is the full circle. Within her is the power to create, nurture and transform. - Diane Mariechild

When once a woman has given you her heart, you can never get rid of the rest of her body. - John Vanbrugh

I have the body but of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the heart and stomach of a King. - Elizabeth I

You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, which doesn't say much for you. - Groucho Marx

A woman's heart should be so close to God that a man should have to chase Him to find her. - C S Lewis

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

Sex between a man and a woman can be wonderful, provided you get between the right man and the right woman. - Woody Allen

No man succeeds without a good woman behind him. Wife or mother, if it is both, he is twice blessed indeed. - Godfrey Winn

She wore far too much rouge last night and not quite enough clothes. That is always a sign of despair in a woman. - Oscar Wilde

I wanted to be the first woman to burn her bra, but it would have taken the fire department four days to put it out. - Dolly Parton

I'm not interested in cutting the feet off my characters or stretching them to make them fit my certain political view. - Margaret Atwood

Of the two lots, the woman's lot of perpetual motherhood, and the man's of perpetual babyhood, I prefer the man's. - Bernard Shaw

I think being a woman is like being Irish. Everyone says you're important and nice, but you take second place all the same. - Iris Murdoch

A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands. - George G. Byron

When a woman puts on a heel, she has a different posture, a different attitude. She really stands up and has a consciousness of her body. - Christian Louboutin


see also   Amish & Mennonite   Section
Amish 3 Horsepower Country Camper
Amish Airlines – Maiden Voyage
Amish Centerfold
Amish Friends
Amish Man’s Occupation
Amish Mechanical Problems
Amish Prom Limo
Amish Smart Car
Looking For Your Wife?

 

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29-Oct-2020