Amish Elevator View

What goes up “better” come down

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.

The boy asked, “What is this, Father?”
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, “Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life - I don’t know what it is.”

While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous, voluptuous 24-year-old blonde woman stepped out.

The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son, “Go get your mother.”

QuotaBills
Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken

A woman's work is never done - by men. - Unknown

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. - Irina Dunn

Temptation is a woman's weapon and man's excuse. - H L Mencken

I only take Viagra when I'm with more than one woman. - Jack Nicholson

He has a woman's name and wears makeup. How original. - Alice Cooper

A desk is a dangerous place from which to view the world. - John Le Carre

I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks. - Steve Martin

The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her. - Marcelene Cox

A woman can say more in a sigh than a man can say in a sermon. - Arnold Haultain

A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears. - Woodrow Wyatt

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke. - Groucho Marx

Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things. - Epictetus

Whatever you do, do it with intelligence, and keep the end in view. - Thomas á Kempis

A man can be happy with any woman, as long as he does not love her. - Oscar Wilde

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. - Unknown

Show me a woman who doesn't feel guilty and I'll show you a man. - Erica Jong

Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas

The conventional view serves to protect us from the painful job of thinking. - John Kenneth Galbraith

No honest work of man or woman "fails"; it feeds the sum of all human action. - Michelene Wandor

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is. - Helen Rowland

Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance. - Oscar Wilde

You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, which doesn't say much for you. - Groucho Marx

It is very rare or almost impossible that an event can be negative from all points of view. - Dalai Lama

You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and that's not saying much for you. - Groucho Marx

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. - Erica Jong

The expression a woman wears on her face is far more important than the clothes she wears on her back. - Dale Carnegie

A woman should cleave into her husband. Right here in this house is where Edith's cleavage belongs. - Archie Bunker

Democracy is very different in U.S. and A. from Kazakhstan. In America, woman can vote, but horse cannot! - Borat Sagdiyev

One should never trust a woman who tells her real age; a woman who would tell one would tell one anything. - Oscar Wilde

No matter how plain a woman may be, if truth and honesty are written across her face, she will be beautiful. - Eleanor Roosevelt

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married? - Barbara Streisand

Men have trouble dealing with a woman in a position of authority. I've never had trouble with a woman in any position. - Sam Malone

I wore a thong and a bra and a wig. Those things hurt. I mean, thongs? Like, they dig in. It takes a tough man to be a woman. - Hank Azaria

Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots. - Hoosier Farmer

A physician is obligated to consider more than a diseased organ, more even than the whole man — he must view the man in his world. - Harvey Cushing

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman - it depends on how much happiness you can handle. - George Burns

Now I lay facedown on the bed, sobbing for the woman who once slept here not knowing that someday one of her worst fears would come true. - Jennifer Castle

Nature will bear the closest inspection. She invites us to lay our eye level with her smallest leaf, and take an insect view of its plain. - Henry David Thoreau

Being with a woman all night never hurt no professional baseball player. It's staying up all night looking for a woman that does him in. - Casey Stengel


see also   Amish & Mennonite   Section
Amish 3 Horsepower Country Camper
Amish Airlines – Maiden Voyage
Amish Centerfold
Amish Friends
Amish Man’s Occupation
Amish Mechanical Problems
Amish Prom Limo
Amish Smart Car
Looking For Your Wife?

 

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25-Jan-2020