A mature woman goes to the Doctor and asks his help to revive her man’s sex drive.
“What about trying Viagra?” asks the Doctor.
“Not a chance” says Mrs. Murphy. “He won’t even take an aspirin for a headache.”
“No problem” replies the Doctor. “Drop it into his coffee, he won’t even taste it. Try it and come back in a week to let me know how you got on.”
A week later Mrs. Murphy returns to the Doctor and the Doctor inquires as to how things went.
“Oh it was horrible, just terrible, Doctor.”
“What happened?” asks the Doctor.
“Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee. The effect was immediate. He jumped straight up, swept the cutlery off the table, at the same time ripping my clothes off and then proceeded to make passionate love to me on the tabletop. It was terrible.”
“What’s terrible?” asked the Doctor. “Was the sex not good?”
“Oh no Doctor, the sex was the best I’ve had in 25 years, but I’ll never be able to show my face in Tim Horton’s again.”
Coffee and love taste best when hot. - German Proverb
A morning without coffee is like sleep. - Unknown
When coffee dreams, it dreams of chocolate. - Unknown
I like my men like I like my coffee. Silent. - Anna Kendrick
How I feel when there is no coffee? DEPRESSO - Unknown
Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown
Should I kill myself, or have a cup of coffee? - Albert Camus
I have measured out my life with coffee spoons. - T S Eliot
I only drink coffee grown in high altitude rain forests. - Rob Dyrdek
I only take Viagra when I'm with more than one woman. - Jack Nicholson
Life without books, chocolate and coffee is just useless. - Nadun Lokuliyanage
I think if I were a woman I'd wear coffee as a perfume. - John Van Druten
Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank. - Alphonse Allais
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems. - Paul Erdos
Coffee and chocolate - the inventor of mocha should be sainted. - Cherise Sinclair
Behind every successful woman is a substantial amount of coffee. - Stephanie Piro
I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time. - Steven Wright
Without my morning coffee, I'm just like a dried-up piece of goat. - J.S. Bach
I'll have a "Cafe Mocha Vodka Valium Latte" to go, please. - Unknown
What would life be without coffee? But then, what is it even with coffee? - King Louis XV
I never drink coffee at lunch - I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon. - Ronald Reagan
I love you more than pumpkin spice latte but please don't make me prove it! - Unknown
If there's no coffee, I'm not getting up. Make Groundhog Day just better. - ethicalbean
Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after. - Anne Morrow Lindbergh
One day my mortal body will turn to dust, but the Turkish Republic will stand forever. - Mustafa Kemel Ataturk
I just want a hot cup of coffee, black, and I don't want to hear about your troubles. - Charles Bukowski
A half finished shawl left on the coffee table isn't a mess; it's an object of art. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee
You haven't had enough coffee until you can thread a sewing machine while it's running. - Unknown
Don't talk to me until I've had my coffee, and then after that still don't talk to me. - Unknown
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine
Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller
A giraffe's coffee would be cold by the time it reached the bottom of its throat. Ever think about that? No. You only think about yourself. - Unknown
Blind dates are treacherous. You don't know who this person is. You wonder, "Should I call my grandma during coffee to get out of this?" - Alan Alda
A morning without coffee is like sleep. - Unknown
When coffee dreams, it dreams of chocolate. - Unknown
I like my men like I like my coffee. Silent. - Anna Kendrick
How I feel when there is no coffee? DEPRESSO - Unknown
Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown
Should I kill myself, or have a cup of coffee? - Albert Camus
I have measured out my life with coffee spoons. - T S Eliot
I only drink coffee grown in high altitude rain forests. - Rob Dyrdek
I only take Viagra when I'm with more than one woman. - Jack Nicholson
Life without books, chocolate and coffee is just useless. - Nadun Lokuliyanage
I think if I were a woman I'd wear coffee as a perfume. - John Van Druten
Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank. - Alphonse Allais
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems. - Paul Erdos
Coffee and chocolate - the inventor of mocha should be sainted. - Cherise Sinclair
Behind every successful woman is a substantial amount of coffee. - Stephanie Piro
I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time. - Steven Wright
Without my morning coffee, I'm just like a dried-up piece of goat. - J.S. Bach
I'll have a "Cafe Mocha Vodka Valium Latte" to go, please. - Unknown
What would life be without coffee? But then, what is it even with coffee? - King Louis XV
I never drink coffee at lunch - I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon. - Ronald Reagan
I love you more than pumpkin spice latte but please don't make me prove it! - Unknown
If there's no coffee, I'm not getting up. Make Groundhog Day just better. - ethicalbean
Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after. - Anne Morrow Lindbergh
One day my mortal body will turn to dust, but the Turkish Republic will stand forever. - Mustafa Kemel Ataturk
I just want a hot cup of coffee, black, and I don't want to hear about your troubles. - Charles Bukowski
A half finished shawl left on the coffee table isn't a mess; it's an object of art. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee
You haven't had enough coffee until you can thread a sewing machine while it's running. - Unknown
Don't talk to me until I've had my coffee, and then after that still don't talk to me. - Unknown
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine
Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller
A giraffe's coffee would be cold by the time it reached the bottom of its throat. Ever think about that? No. You only think about yourself. - Unknown
Blind dates are treacherous. You don't know who this person is. You wonder, "Should I call my grandma during coffee to get out of this?" - Alan Alda
see also Aging, Doctor & Medical Sections
3D Latte Art
Café Cappuccino
Canadian Fast Food
Canadian Hot
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Coffee Attack
Coffee Bean Grinder
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Coffee in Heaven
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Cup of Mona Lisa
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Everything Is Bigger In Texas
Eye For Coffee
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It’s Coffee Time @ DonutLand
Latte Art
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Multi-Pour Coffee Pot
Owl Have A Coffee
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Safest Place In Canada
Spill Proof Cup
Spot the Man’s Head Hidden in the Coffee Beans
Starbucks Bethlehem
Starbucks’ New Mega Coffee
Store Tested Coffee
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Tim’s Puffer
Viagra Overdose
Wired For Coffee
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02-Apr-2020 |