Q: Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?
A: He worked it out with a pencil.
The greatest wealth is health. - Virgil
Maternity Hospital: An heirport - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Society is a hospital of incurables. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Happiness is health and a short memory. - Unknown
The best medicine is having a good wife. - Kin Hubbard
For a desperate disease, a desperate cure. - Latin Proverb
I left as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit. - Billy Connolly
An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. - Ben Franklin
Psychoanalysis is the disease it claims to cure. - Karl Kraus
False Doctrine: Giving people the wrong medicine - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance. - King George V
Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food. - Hippocrates
A room without books is like a body without a soul. - Marcus Tullius Cicero
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan
The wish for healing has always been half of health. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca
Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance. - Plato
The only parts left of my original body are my elbows. - Phyllis Diller
A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb
No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb
People who shop in health food stores never look healthy. - Amy Sedaris
Math, it's a puzzle to me. I love figuring out puzzles. - Maya Lin
The best cure for unrequited love: get to know them better. - Alain de Botton
Math is like love - a simple idea but it can get complicated. - R. Drabek
The kitchen. The bathroom. The yin and yang of the household. - David C. Holley
The cure for anything is salt water - sweat, tears or the sea. - Isak Dinesen
Our health is a voyage and every illness is an adventure story. - Margiad Evans
One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife. - Groucho Marx
Of all ills that one endures, hope is a cheap and universal cure. - Abraham Cowley
Sleep, riches, and health to be truly enjoyed must be interrupted. - Johann Paul Friedrich Richter
My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes
That Gerald Ford. He can't fart and chew gum at the same time. - Lyndon B. Johnson
I used to practice Tony speeches in my bathroom with my hairbrush. - Audra McDonald
I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. - Winston Bennett
Salary is no object: I want only enough to keep body and soul apart. - Dorothy Parker
Your body is not a temple, it's an amusement park. Enjoy the ride. - Anthony Bourdain
I do believe that laughter is the best medicine - it cures everything. - Radhika Apte
The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard
Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies. - P.J. O'Rourke
My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector
A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb
The colder the X-Ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it. - Steven Wright
In these times, God's people must trust him for rest of body and soul. - David Wilkerson
The good-news stories in medicine are early detection, early intervention. - Thomas R Insel
Mental will is a muscle that needs exercise, just like muscles of the body. - Lynn Jennings
Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley
In nothing do men more nearly approach the gods than in giving health to men. - Cicero
I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick
To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher
The police are not here to create disorder, they;re here to preserve disorder. - Richard J Daley
I'm not sick, I'm twisted. Sick makes it sound like there's a cure! - Unknown
The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift
Age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body. - Unknown
I recently became a Christian Scientist. It was the only health plan I could afford. - Betsy Salkind
First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin
The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley
One day my mortal body will turn to dust, but the Turkish Republic will stand forever. - Mustafa Kemel Ataturk
I like to crack the jokes now and again, but it's only because I struggle with math. - Tina Fey
When the body of the people is possessed of the supreme power, it is called a democracy. - Charles de Secondat
Seafood is one of the easiest things to digest - a bratwurst is really hard on the body. - Joey Chestnut
When once a woman has given you her heart, you can never get rid of the rest of her body. - John Vanbrugh
The human mind treats a new idea the way the body treats a strange protein: it rejects it. - P.B. Medawar
Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart. - Caryn Leschen
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright
Nothing can cure the soul but the senses, just as nothing can cure the senses but the soul. - Oscar Wilde
I have the body but of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the heart and stomach of a King. - Elizabeth I
There must be quite a few things a hot bath won't cure, but I don't know many of them. - Sylvia Plath
Twists are wonderful for whittling your waist, stretching your back, and detoxifying the body. - Mandy Ingber
The world was made for the body. The body was made for the soul. And the soul was made for God. - Ravi Zacharias
Mental health problems do not affect three or four out of every five persons but one out of one. - William Menninger
The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire
With every bathroom renovation, there are three areas that I focus on: budget, function and style. - Candice Olson
At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin
I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer
My physician has become warden of my medically imprisoned body, pharmaceuticals the bars on my cell. - Grey E. Livingston
The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer
My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau
Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humor. It's like medicine - very healing. - Max Irons
My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well been documented, are various other parts of my body. - Donald Trump
I've posed nude for a photographer in the manner of Rodin's Thinker, but I looked merely constipated. - George Bernard Shaw
Our memories are card indexes consulted, and then put back in disorder, by authorities whom we do not control. - Cyril Connolly
Yoga is really trying to liberate us from shame about our bodies. To love your body is a very important thing. - Rodney Yee
The average pencil is seven inches long, with just a half-inch eraser - in case you thought optimism was dead. - Robert Brault
If you do a good job for others, you heal yourself at the same time, because a dose of joy is a spiritual cure. - Ed Sullivan
Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson
In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer
A small body of determined spirits fired by an unquenchable faith in their mission can alter the course of history. - Mahatma Gandhi
Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi
Concentrating on poses clears the mind, while focusing on the breath helps the body shift out of fight or flight mode. - Melanie Haiken
I chalk up the fact that I got diabetes to my body saying, 'Dude, you have been doing wrong for way too long!' - Randy Jackson
Medicine is the restoration of discordant elements; sickness is the discord of the elements infused into the living body. - Leonardo da Vinci
You can catch health, happiness, and success from others just as easily as you can catch worries, bitterness, and failure. - Dale Carnegie
A good friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you move a body - let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel. - Unknown
Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp
My whole body is a wreck. I've injured myself so many times with jujitsu, skateboarding, football. I guess I like to live hard. - Scott Caan
Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner
When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield
Think while walking, walk while thinking, and let writing be but the light pause, as the body on a walk rests in contemplation of wide open spaces. - Frederic Gros
One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler
My mother had a slender, small body, but a large heart - a heart so large that everybody's joys found welcome in it, and hospitable accommodation. - Mark Twain
Our food pyramid, the kind of diet that is constantly promoted, is completely warped. It's not based around anything to do with healing your body. - Jessica Origliasso
Maternity Hospital: An heirport - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Society is a hospital of incurables. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Happiness is health and a short memory. - Unknown
The best medicine is having a good wife. - Kin Hubbard
For a desperate disease, a desperate cure. - Latin Proverb
I left as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit. - Billy Connolly
An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. - Ben Franklin
Psychoanalysis is the disease it claims to cure. - Karl Kraus
False Doctrine: Giving people the wrong medicine - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance. - King George V
Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food. - Hippocrates
A room without books is like a body without a soul. - Marcus Tullius Cicero
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan
The wish for healing has always been half of health. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca
Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance. - Plato
The only parts left of my original body are my elbows. - Phyllis Diller
A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb
No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb
People who shop in health food stores never look healthy. - Amy Sedaris
Math, it's a puzzle to me. I love figuring out puzzles. - Maya Lin
The best cure for unrequited love: get to know them better. - Alain de Botton
Math is like love - a simple idea but it can get complicated. - R. Drabek
The kitchen. The bathroom. The yin and yang of the household. - David C. Holley
The cure for anything is salt water - sweat, tears or the sea. - Isak Dinesen
Our health is a voyage and every illness is an adventure story. - Margiad Evans
One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife. - Groucho Marx
Of all ills that one endures, hope is a cheap and universal cure. - Abraham Cowley
Sleep, riches, and health to be truly enjoyed must be interrupted. - Johann Paul Friedrich Richter
My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes
That Gerald Ford. He can't fart and chew gum at the same time. - Lyndon B. Johnson
I used to practice Tony speeches in my bathroom with my hairbrush. - Audra McDonald
I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. - Winston Bennett
Salary is no object: I want only enough to keep body and soul apart. - Dorothy Parker
Your body is not a temple, it's an amusement park. Enjoy the ride. - Anthony Bourdain
I do believe that laughter is the best medicine - it cures everything. - Radhika Apte
The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard
Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies. - P.J. O'Rourke
My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector
A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb
The colder the X-Ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it. - Steven Wright
In these times, God's people must trust him for rest of body and soul. - David Wilkerson
The good-news stories in medicine are early detection, early intervention. - Thomas R Insel
Mental will is a muscle that needs exercise, just like muscles of the body. - Lynn Jennings
Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley
In nothing do men more nearly approach the gods than in giving health to men. - Cicero
I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick
To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher
The police are not here to create disorder, they;re here to preserve disorder. - Richard J Daley
I'm not sick, I'm twisted. Sick makes it sound like there's a cure! - Unknown
The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift
Age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body. - Unknown
I recently became a Christian Scientist. It was the only health plan I could afford. - Betsy Salkind
First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin
The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley
One day my mortal body will turn to dust, but the Turkish Republic will stand forever. - Mustafa Kemel Ataturk
I like to crack the jokes now and again, but it's only because I struggle with math. - Tina Fey
When the body of the people is possessed of the supreme power, it is called a democracy. - Charles de Secondat
Seafood is one of the easiest things to digest - a bratwurst is really hard on the body. - Joey Chestnut
When once a woman has given you her heart, you can never get rid of the rest of her body. - John Vanbrugh
The human mind treats a new idea the way the body treats a strange protein: it rejects it. - P.B. Medawar
Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart. - Caryn Leschen
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright
Nothing can cure the soul but the senses, just as nothing can cure the senses but the soul. - Oscar Wilde
I have the body but of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the heart and stomach of a King. - Elizabeth I
There must be quite a few things a hot bath won't cure, but I don't know many of them. - Sylvia Plath
Twists are wonderful for whittling your waist, stretching your back, and detoxifying the body. - Mandy Ingber
The world was made for the body. The body was made for the soul. And the soul was made for God. - Ravi Zacharias
Mental health problems do not affect three or four out of every five persons but one out of one. - William Menninger
The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire
With every bathroom renovation, there are three areas that I focus on: budget, function and style. - Candice Olson
At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin
I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer
My physician has become warden of my medically imprisoned body, pharmaceuticals the bars on my cell. - Grey E. Livingston
The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer
My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau
Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humor. It's like medicine - very healing. - Max Irons
My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well been documented, are various other parts of my body. - Donald Trump
I've posed nude for a photographer in the manner of Rodin's Thinker, but I looked merely constipated. - George Bernard Shaw
Our memories are card indexes consulted, and then put back in disorder, by authorities whom we do not control. - Cyril Connolly
Yoga is really trying to liberate us from shame about our bodies. To love your body is a very important thing. - Rodney Yee
The average pencil is seven inches long, with just a half-inch eraser - in case you thought optimism was dead. - Robert Brault
If you do a good job for others, you heal yourself at the same time, because a dose of joy is a spiritual cure. - Ed Sullivan
Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson
In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer
A small body of determined spirits fired by an unquenchable faith in their mission can alter the course of history. - Mahatma Gandhi
Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi
Concentrating on poses clears the mind, while focusing on the breath helps the body shift out of fight or flight mode. - Melanie Haiken
I chalk up the fact that I got diabetes to my body saying, 'Dude, you have been doing wrong for way too long!' - Randy Jackson
Medicine is the restoration of discordant elements; sickness is the discord of the elements infused into the living body. - Leonardo da Vinci
You can catch health, happiness, and success from others just as easily as you can catch worries, bitterness, and failure. - Dale Carnegie
A good friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you move a body - let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel. - Unknown
Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp
My whole body is a wreck. I've injured myself so many times with jujitsu, skateboarding, football. I guess I like to live hard. - Scott Caan
Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner
When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield
Think while walking, walk while thinking, and let writing be but the light pause, as the body on a walk rests in contemplation of wide open spaces. - Frederic Gros
One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler
My mother had a slender, small body, but a large heart - a heart so large that everybody's joys found welcome in it, and hospitable accommodation. - Mark Twain
Our food pyramid, the kind of diet that is constantly promoted, is completely warped. It's not based around anything to do with healing your body. - Jessica Origliasso
see also Bathroom, Bad Gas, College & School Sections
Acceptable Doctors Sign
Colon Celery
Colorectal Exam For Dogs
Colorectal Surgeon Praise
Dog Proctologist
Fart Facts
First Proctologist Exam
German Flatulence Control
Himilayan Cure for Constipation
Menopause Sucks
One Wee Scottish Farty
Proctologist Call
Proctologist’s Second-Hand Prescription
Psychiatrist’s Patient Advice
Singing Gynecologist
 Double Vision |  Please Help My Car |  Adultery |  2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars |  Moses' USB Tablets |
 Virus Update |  Carnations vs. Roses |  Waterproof Notepad |  Sudoku Cats |  Harlie's Angel |
 Ladder Load |  Road To Nowhere |  Bartender Mechanic |  Promote Yourself |  Noteable Bartender |
 Microsoft Innovation |  Complaint Jar |  First Selfie |  Leave My Drink Alone |  Great Scott! |
11-Apr-2021 |