Q: Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?
A: He worked it out with a pencil.
Medicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous
No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb
Anatomical: Joe-ks about the body - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Society is a hospital of incurables. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
The sexual act was never constipated. - Archie Bunker
A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb
Happiness is health and a short memory. - Unknown
I speak two languages, English and Body. - Mae West
The best medicine is having a good wife. - Kin Hubbard
No medicine cures what happiness cannot. - Gabriel G Marquez
The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker
Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron
Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance. - King George V
You can't cure stupid, but you can sedate it. - Unknown
The No. 1 cause of bankruptcies is medical bills. - Michael Moore
My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker
A room without books is like a body without a soul. - Marcus Tullius Cicero
Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito
Four wheels move the body. Two wheels move the soul. - Unknown
Surgeon: The person who was a cut-up at medical school - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A fit, healthy body - that is the best fashion statement. - Jess C. Scott
Math, it's a puzzle to me. I love figuring out puzzles. - Maya Lin
If you ignore your health for long enough, it'll go away. - Unknown
Math is like love - a simple idea but it can get complicated. - R. Drabek
A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer
Medicine is a science of uncertainty and an art of probability. - William Osler
Zeal: A nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced. - Ambrose Bierce
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Markus Herz
There is no cure for birth and death, save to enjoy the interval. - George Santayana
A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier
Stories are memory aids, instruction manuals and moral compasses. - Aleks Krotoski
The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity. - Dorothy Parker
My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes
That Gerald Ford. He can't fart and chew gum at the same time. - Lyndon B. Johnson
I knew a girl so ugly, they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders. - Rodney Dangerfield
Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown
Being in a good frame of mind helps one keep in the picture of health. - Unknown
Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies. - P.J. O'Rourke
Would you take all these pains about your looks if every body was blind? - Charles Finney
A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb
The body is your temple. Keep it pure and clean for the soul to reside in. - B.K. Iyengar
I started singing in the bathroom. Nothing was coming out. It was ghastly. - Rod Stewart
In these times, God's people must trust him for rest of body and soul. - David Wilkerson
The good-news stories in medicine are early detection, early intervention. - Thomas R Insel
Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown
In nothing do men more nearly approach the gods than in giving health to men. - Cicero
The police are not here to create disorder, they;re here to preserve disorder. - Richard J Daley
Health care's not about insurance! Health care's about getting treatment. - P.J. O'Rourke
When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. - Karen Russell
My favorite thing about the human body is that we're all basically doughnuts. - Tyler Oakley
Cookie: The standard method for converting sugar, floor, and butter into body fat - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure. - Ross MacDonald
The French invented the only known cure for dandruff. It is called the guillotine. - P G Wodehouse
I recently became a Christian Scientist. It was the only health plan I could afford. - Betsy Salkind
People don't trust private health insurance companies for all the right reasons. - Bernie Sanders
Diabetes is all about insulin levels and sugar levels and what you put in your body. - Jay Cutler
Grave: A place in which the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley
If you want to get out of medicine the fullest enjoyment, be students all your lives. - David Riesman
Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime. - Scott Adams
We have so many words for states of mind, and so few words for the states of the body. - Jeanne Moreau
The cure for a broken heart is simple, my lady. A hot bath and a good night's sleep. - Margaret George
When once a woman has given you her heart, you can never get rid of the rest of her body. - John Vanbrugh
Smart people that like good health spend several hours outdoors daily in the shade of trees. - Steven Magee
There must be quite a few things a hot bath won't cure, but I don't know many of them. - Sylvia Plath
Genuine feelings cannot be produced, nor can they be eradicated. The body sticks to the facts. - Alice Miller
I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne
I don't know why they call it heartbreak. It feels like every part of my body is broken too. - Unknown
At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin
I figure if I have my health, can pay the rent and I have my friends, I call it "content." - Lauren Bacall
A lot of what passes for depression these days is nothing more than a body saying that it needs work. - Geoffrey Norman
When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield
They have gun control in Cuba. They have universal health care in Cuba. So why do they want to come here? - Paul Harvey
The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull
I sleep with a light on in the bathroom so I can see where I'm at, because I wake up and have no clue. - Carrie Underwood
Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. - Abe Lemons
My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well been documented, are various other parts of my body. - Donald Trump
Going without food or water will kill the body, but the lack of relationship will kill the minds and spirit. - David Jeremiah
An angel is a spiritual creature created by God without a body for the service of Christendom and the church. - Leo Rosten
Most ballet teachers in the United States are terrible. If they were in medicine, everyone would be poisoned. - George Balanchine
Yoga is really trying to liberate us from shame about our bodies. To love your body is a very important thing. - Rodney Yee
The average pencil is seven inches long, with just a half-inch eraser - in case you thought optimism was dead. - Robert Brault
In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer
Even if you don't have time for a big workout, stretching in the morning and night really changes your body. - Erin Heatherton
What some call health, if purchased by perpetual anxiety about diet, isn't much better than tedious disease. - Alexander Pope
The soul is placed in the body like a rough diamond, and must be polished, or the luster of it will never appear. - Daniel Defoe
Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi
You can go your whole life and not need math or physics for a minute, but the ability to tell a joke is always handy. - Garrison Keillor
My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck
You can catch health, happiness, and success from others just as easily as you can catch worries, bitterness, and failure. - Dale Carnegie
Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden
A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown
We are, as a species, addicted to story. Even when the body goes to sleep, the mind stays up all night, telling itself stories. - John Gottschall
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin
I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield
Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner
When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield
Every essential oil has a healing purpose. I think it's a great gift because it's something that elevates your mood and your health. - Yolanda Hadid
One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler
No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb
Anatomical: Joe-ks about the body - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Society is a hospital of incurables. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
The sexual act was never constipated. - Archie Bunker
A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb
Happiness is health and a short memory. - Unknown
I speak two languages, English and Body. - Mae West
The best medicine is having a good wife. - Kin Hubbard
No medicine cures what happiness cannot. - Gabriel G Marquez
The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker
Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron
Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance. - King George V
You can't cure stupid, but you can sedate it. - Unknown
The No. 1 cause of bankruptcies is medical bills. - Michael Moore
My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker
A room without books is like a body without a soul. - Marcus Tullius Cicero
Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito
Four wheels move the body. Two wheels move the soul. - Unknown
Surgeon: The person who was a cut-up at medical school - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A fit, healthy body - that is the best fashion statement. - Jess C. Scott
Math, it's a puzzle to me. I love figuring out puzzles. - Maya Lin
If you ignore your health for long enough, it'll go away. - Unknown
Math is like love - a simple idea but it can get complicated. - R. Drabek
A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer
Medicine is a science of uncertainty and an art of probability. - William Osler
Zeal: A nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced. - Ambrose Bierce
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Markus Herz
There is no cure for birth and death, save to enjoy the interval. - George Santayana
A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier
Stories are memory aids, instruction manuals and moral compasses. - Aleks Krotoski
The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity. - Dorothy Parker
My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes
That Gerald Ford. He can't fart and chew gum at the same time. - Lyndon B. Johnson
I knew a girl so ugly, they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders. - Rodney Dangerfield
Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown
Being in a good frame of mind helps one keep in the picture of health. - Unknown
Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies. - P.J. O'Rourke
Would you take all these pains about your looks if every body was blind? - Charles Finney
A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb
The body is your temple. Keep it pure and clean for the soul to reside in. - B.K. Iyengar
I started singing in the bathroom. Nothing was coming out. It was ghastly. - Rod Stewart
In these times, God's people must trust him for rest of body and soul. - David Wilkerson
The good-news stories in medicine are early detection, early intervention. - Thomas R Insel
Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown
In nothing do men more nearly approach the gods than in giving health to men. - Cicero
The police are not here to create disorder, they;re here to preserve disorder. - Richard J Daley
Health care's not about insurance! Health care's about getting treatment. - P.J. O'Rourke
When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. - Karen Russell
My favorite thing about the human body is that we're all basically doughnuts. - Tyler Oakley
Cookie: The standard method for converting sugar, floor, and butter into body fat - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure. - Ross MacDonald
The French invented the only known cure for dandruff. It is called the guillotine. - P G Wodehouse
I recently became a Christian Scientist. It was the only health plan I could afford. - Betsy Salkind
People don't trust private health insurance companies for all the right reasons. - Bernie Sanders
Diabetes is all about insulin levels and sugar levels and what you put in your body. - Jay Cutler
Grave: A place in which the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley
If you want to get out of medicine the fullest enjoyment, be students all your lives. - David Riesman
Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime. - Scott Adams
We have so many words for states of mind, and so few words for the states of the body. - Jeanne Moreau
The cure for a broken heart is simple, my lady. A hot bath and a good night's sleep. - Margaret George
When once a woman has given you her heart, you can never get rid of the rest of her body. - John Vanbrugh
Smart people that like good health spend several hours outdoors daily in the shade of trees. - Steven Magee
There must be quite a few things a hot bath won't cure, but I don't know many of them. - Sylvia Plath
Genuine feelings cannot be produced, nor can they be eradicated. The body sticks to the facts. - Alice Miller
I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne
I don't know why they call it heartbreak. It feels like every part of my body is broken too. - Unknown
At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin
I figure if I have my health, can pay the rent and I have my friends, I call it "content." - Lauren Bacall
A lot of what passes for depression these days is nothing more than a body saying that it needs work. - Geoffrey Norman
When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield
They have gun control in Cuba. They have universal health care in Cuba. So why do they want to come here? - Paul Harvey
The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull
I sleep with a light on in the bathroom so I can see where I'm at, because I wake up and have no clue. - Carrie Underwood
Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. - Abe Lemons
My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well been documented, are various other parts of my body. - Donald Trump
Going without food or water will kill the body, but the lack of relationship will kill the minds and spirit. - David Jeremiah
An angel is a spiritual creature created by God without a body for the service of Christendom and the church. - Leo Rosten
Most ballet teachers in the United States are terrible. If they were in medicine, everyone would be poisoned. - George Balanchine
Yoga is really trying to liberate us from shame about our bodies. To love your body is a very important thing. - Rodney Yee
The average pencil is seven inches long, with just a half-inch eraser - in case you thought optimism was dead. - Robert Brault
In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer
Even if you don't have time for a big workout, stretching in the morning and night really changes your body. - Erin Heatherton
What some call health, if purchased by perpetual anxiety about diet, isn't much better than tedious disease. - Alexander Pope
The soul is placed in the body like a rough diamond, and must be polished, or the luster of it will never appear. - Daniel Defoe
Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi
You can go your whole life and not need math or physics for a minute, but the ability to tell a joke is always handy. - Garrison Keillor
My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck
You can catch health, happiness, and success from others just as easily as you can catch worries, bitterness, and failure. - Dale Carnegie
Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden
A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown
We are, as a species, addicted to story. Even when the body goes to sleep, the mind stays up all night, telling itself stories. - John Gottschall
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin
I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield
Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner
When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield
Every essential oil has a healing purpose. I think it's a great gift because it's something that elevates your mood and your health. - Yolanda Hadid
One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler
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21-Sep-2021 |