Q: Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?
A: He worked it out with a pencil.
Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken
Everything is physics and math. - Katherine Johnson
One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb
The sexual act was never constipated. - Archie Bunker
A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb
I'm so mean, I make medicine sick. - Muhammad Ali
I speak two languages, English and Body. - Mae West
The best cure for the body is a quiet mind. - Napoleon Bonaparte
The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker
I've tried body surfing. It's nice. - Ziggy Marley
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you. - Carl Jung
Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron
A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington
My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker
A room without books is like a body without a soul. - Marcus Tullius Cicero
I write poems like some people sing in the bathroom. - Amit Bhatia
Health insurance should be a given for every citizen. - Jesse Ventura
The doctor is often more to be feared than the disease. - French Proverb
When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction. - Steven Wright
There is no physician who can cure the disease of love. - African Proverb
A fit, healthy body - that is the best fashion statement. - Jess C. Scott
You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body. - C S Lewis
Dear Math: I'm not a therapist. Solve your own problems. - Unknown
There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini
Our health is a voyage and every illness is an adventure story. - Margiad Evans
There is no cure for birth and death, save to enjoy the interval. - George Santayana
My goal in life is to have a psychiatric disorder named after me. - Unknown
Take care of your body. It's the only place you have to live. - Jim Rohn
That Gerald Ford. He can't fart and chew gum at the same time. - Lyndon B. Johnson
I used to practice Tony speeches in my bathroom with my hairbrush. - Audra McDonald
There is but one temple in the universe and that is the body of man. - Novalis
Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher
The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard
Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies. - P.J. O'Rourke
My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector
A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb
I started singing in the bathroom. Nothing was coming out. It was ghastly. - Rod Stewart
One of the major goals of health insurance reform is to bring down the cost. - Valerie Jarrett
A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker
This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh
Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings
A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh
If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb
Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure. - Ross MacDonald
The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire
Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake. - Jonathan Blake
Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham
The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley
But we have to pass the [health care] bill so that you can find out what's in it. - Nancy Pelosi
People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca
One day my mortal body will turn to dust, but the Turkish Republic will stand forever. - Mustafa Kemel Ataturk
We have so many words for states of mind, and so few words for the states of the body. - Jeanne Moreau
I like to crack the jokes now and again, but it's only because I struggle with math. - Tina Fey
Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker
The patient does not care about your science; what he wants to know is, can you cure him? - Martin H. Fischer
The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer
Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle
Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben
I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope
The human mind treats a new idea the way the body treats a strange protein: it rejects it. - P.B. Medawar
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright
Mathematics is the cheapest science. All one needs for mathematics is a pencil and a paper. - George Polya
Nothing can cure the soul but the senses, just as nothing can cure the senses but the soul. - Oscar Wilde
If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free. - P.J. O'Rourke
Hockey players wear numbers because you can't always identify the body with dental records. - Unknown
There are 3 kinds of people in this world: those who are good at math, and those who aren't. - Unknown
Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha
Medicine, the only profession that labours incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence. - James Bryce
What can be added to the happiness of man who is in health, out of debt, and has a clear conscience? - Adam Smith
My physician has become warden of my medically imprisoned body, pharmaceuticals the bars on my cell. - Grey E. Livingston
Tattoos have a power and magic all their own. They decorate the body but they also enhance the soul. - Michelle Delio
For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones
If you would perfect your body, guard your mind.
If you would renew your body, beautify your mind. - James Allen
The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull
Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humor. It's like medicine - very healing. - Max Irons
An angel is a spiritual creature created by God without a body for the service of Christendom and the church. - Leo Rosten
I've posed nude for a photographer in the manner of Rodin's Thinker, but I looked merely constipated. - George Bernard Shaw
Our memories are card indexes consulted, and then put back in disorder, by authorities whom we do not control. - Cyril Connolly
Yoga is really trying to liberate us from shame about our bodies. To love your body is a very important thing. - Rodney Yee
The average pencil is seven inches long, with just a half-inch eraser - in case you thought optimism was dead. - Robert Brault
If you do a good job for others, you heal yourself at the same time, because a dose of joy is a spiritual cure. - Ed Sullivan
The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno
A small body of determined spirits fired by an unquenchable faith in their mission can alter the course of history. - Mahatma Gandhi
'Tis not always in a physician's power to cure the sick; at times the disease is stronger than trained art. - Ovid
Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi
Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht
The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke
My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck
Understand the key factors in the math behind viral marketing, and use those to figure out what it takes to get viral growth. - David Skok
One of the greatest things about the sport of surfing is that you need only three things: your body, a surfboard, and a wave. - Naima Green
A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown
A good friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you move a body - let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel. - Unknown
A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer
I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield
Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off of your life. Based on that math, I should have died in 1732. - Unknown
Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner
I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright
I'm building a glass pyramid over the Egyptian escalator where my body will be mummified, so my customers can come and see me forever. - Mohamed Al-Fayed
When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield
Getting wrapped up in worries is bad for your body and spirit. That's when you must short out your logic circuits and reboot your heart. - Pokemon
Everything is physics and math. - Katherine Johnson
One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb
The sexual act was never constipated. - Archie Bunker
A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb
I'm so mean, I make medicine sick. - Muhammad Ali
I speak two languages, English and Body. - Mae West
The best cure for the body is a quiet mind. - Napoleon Bonaparte
The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker
I've tried body surfing. It's nice. - Ziggy Marley
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you. - Carl Jung
Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron
A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington
My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker
A room without books is like a body without a soul. - Marcus Tullius Cicero
I write poems like some people sing in the bathroom. - Amit Bhatia
Health insurance should be a given for every citizen. - Jesse Ventura
The doctor is often more to be feared than the disease. - French Proverb
When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction. - Steven Wright
There is no physician who can cure the disease of love. - African Proverb
A fit, healthy body - that is the best fashion statement. - Jess C. Scott
You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body. - C S Lewis
Dear Math: I'm not a therapist. Solve your own problems. - Unknown
There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini
Our health is a voyage and every illness is an adventure story. - Margiad Evans
There is no cure for birth and death, save to enjoy the interval. - George Santayana
My goal in life is to have a psychiatric disorder named after me. - Unknown
Take care of your body. It's the only place you have to live. - Jim Rohn
That Gerald Ford. He can't fart and chew gum at the same time. - Lyndon B. Johnson
I used to practice Tony speeches in my bathroom with my hairbrush. - Audra McDonald
There is but one temple in the universe and that is the body of man. - Novalis
Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher
The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard
Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies. - P.J. O'Rourke
My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector
A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb
I started singing in the bathroom. Nothing was coming out. It was ghastly. - Rod Stewart
One of the major goals of health insurance reform is to bring down the cost. - Valerie Jarrett
A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker
This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh
Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings
A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh
If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb
Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure. - Ross MacDonald
The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire
Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake. - Jonathan Blake
Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham
The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley
But we have to pass the [health care] bill so that you can find out what's in it. - Nancy Pelosi
People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca
One day my mortal body will turn to dust, but the Turkish Republic will stand forever. - Mustafa Kemel Ataturk
We have so many words for states of mind, and so few words for the states of the body. - Jeanne Moreau
I like to crack the jokes now and again, but it's only because I struggle with math. - Tina Fey
Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker
The patient does not care about your science; what he wants to know is, can you cure him? - Martin H. Fischer
The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer
Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle
Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben
I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope
The human mind treats a new idea the way the body treats a strange protein: it rejects it. - P.B. Medawar
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright
Mathematics is the cheapest science. All one needs for mathematics is a pencil and a paper. - George Polya
Nothing can cure the soul but the senses, just as nothing can cure the senses but the soul. - Oscar Wilde
If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free. - P.J. O'Rourke
Hockey players wear numbers because you can't always identify the body with dental records. - Unknown
There are 3 kinds of people in this world: those who are good at math, and those who aren't. - Unknown
Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha
Medicine, the only profession that labours incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence. - James Bryce
What can be added to the happiness of man who is in health, out of debt, and has a clear conscience? - Adam Smith
My physician has become warden of my medically imprisoned body, pharmaceuticals the bars on my cell. - Grey E. Livingston
Tattoos have a power and magic all their own. They decorate the body but they also enhance the soul. - Michelle Delio
For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones
If you would perfect your body, guard your mind.
If you would renew your body, beautify your mind. - James Allen
The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull
Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humor. It's like medicine - very healing. - Max Irons
An angel is a spiritual creature created by God without a body for the service of Christendom and the church. - Leo Rosten
I've posed nude for a photographer in the manner of Rodin's Thinker, but I looked merely constipated. - George Bernard Shaw
Our memories are card indexes consulted, and then put back in disorder, by authorities whom we do not control. - Cyril Connolly
Yoga is really trying to liberate us from shame about our bodies. To love your body is a very important thing. - Rodney Yee
The average pencil is seven inches long, with just a half-inch eraser - in case you thought optimism was dead. - Robert Brault
If you do a good job for others, you heal yourself at the same time, because a dose of joy is a spiritual cure. - Ed Sullivan
The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno
A small body of determined spirits fired by an unquenchable faith in their mission can alter the course of history. - Mahatma Gandhi
'Tis not always in a physician's power to cure the sick; at times the disease is stronger than trained art. - Ovid
Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi
Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht
The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke
My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck
Understand the key factors in the math behind viral marketing, and use those to figure out what it takes to get viral growth. - David Skok
One of the greatest things about the sport of surfing is that you need only three things: your body, a surfboard, and a wave. - Naima Green
A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown
A good friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you move a body - let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel. - Unknown
A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer
I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield
Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off of your life. Based on that math, I should have died in 1732. - Unknown
Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner
I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright
I'm building a glass pyramid over the Egyptian escalator where my body will be mummified, so my customers can come and see me forever. - Mohamed Al-Fayed
When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield
Getting wrapped up in worries is bad for your body and spirit. That's when you must short out your logic circuits and reboot your heart. - Pokemon
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25-Jan-2020 |