Constipated Mathematician

Math tip for Bathroom Readers


Q: Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?
A: He worked it out with a pencil.



QuotaBills
The greatest wealth is health. - Virgil

Maternity Hospital: An heirport - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Society is a hospital of incurables. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Happiness is health and a short memory. - Unknown

The best medicine is having a good wife. - Kin Hubbard

For a desperate disease, a desperate cure. - Latin Proverb

I left as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit. - Billy Connolly

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. - Ben Franklin

Psychoanalysis is the disease it claims to cure. - Karl Kraus

False Doctrine: Giving people the wrong medicine - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance. - King George V

Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food. - Hippocrates

A room without books is like a body without a soul. - Marcus Tullius Cicero

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

The wish for healing has always been half of health. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance. - Plato

The only parts left of my original body are my elbows. - Phyllis Diller

A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

People who shop in health food stores never look healthy. - Amy Sedaris

Math, it's a puzzle to me. I love figuring out puzzles. - Maya Lin

The best cure for unrequited love: get to know them better. - Alain de Botton

Math is like love - a simple idea but it can get complicated. - R. Drabek

The kitchen. The bathroom. The yin and yang of the household. - David C. Holley

The cure for anything is salt water - sweat, tears or the sea. - Isak Dinesen

Our health is a voyage and every illness is an adventure story. - Margiad Evans

One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife. - Groucho Marx

Of all ills that one endures, hope is a cheap and universal cure. - Abraham Cowley

Sleep, riches, and health to be truly enjoyed must be interrupted. - Johann Paul Friedrich Richter

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

That Gerald Ford. He can't fart and chew gum at the same time. - Lyndon B. Johnson

I used to practice Tony speeches in my bathroom with my hairbrush. - Audra McDonald

I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. - Winston Bennett

Salary is no object: I want only enough to keep body and soul apart. - Dorothy Parker

Your body is not a temple, it's an amusement park. Enjoy the ride. - Anthony Bourdain

I do believe that laughter is the best medicine - it cures everything. - Radhika Apte

The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard

Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies. - P.J. O'Rourke

My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

The colder the X-Ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it. - Steven Wright

In these times, God's people must trust him for rest of body and soul. - David Wilkerson

The good-news stories in medicine are early detection, early intervention. - Thomas R Insel

Mental will is a muscle that needs exercise, just like muscles of the body. - Lynn Jennings

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

In nothing do men more nearly approach the gods than in giving health to men. - Cicero

I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick

To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

The police are not here to create disorder, they;re here to preserve disorder. - Richard J Daley

I'm not sick, I'm twisted. Sick makes it sound like there's a cure! - Unknown

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

Age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body. - Unknown

I recently became a Christian Scientist. It was the only health plan I could afford. - Betsy Salkind

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley

One day my mortal body will turn to dust, but the Turkish Republic will stand forever. - Mustafa Kemel Ataturk

I like to crack the jokes now and again, but it's only because I struggle with math. - Tina Fey

When the body of the people is possessed of the supreme power, it is called a democracy. - Charles de Secondat

Seafood is one of the easiest things to digest - a bratwurst is really hard on the body. - Joey Chestnut

When once a woman has given you her heart, you can never get rid of the rest of her body. - John Vanbrugh

The human mind treats a new idea the way the body treats a strange protein: it rejects it. - P.B. Medawar

Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart. - Caryn Leschen

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

Nothing can cure the soul but the senses, just as nothing can cure the senses but the soul. - Oscar Wilde

I have the body but of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the heart and stomach of a King. - Elizabeth I

There must be quite a few things a hot bath won't cure, but I don't know many of them. - Sylvia Plath

Twists are wonderful for whittling your waist, stretching your back, and detoxifying the body. - Mandy Ingber

The world was made for the body. The body was made for the soul. And the soul was made for God. - Ravi Zacharias

Mental health problems do not affect three or four out of every five persons but one out of one. - William Menninger

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

With every bathroom renovation, there are three areas that I focus on: budget, function and style. - Candice Olson

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

My physician has become warden of my medically imprisoned body, pharmaceuticals the bars on my cell. - Grey E. Livingston

The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau

Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humor. It's like medicine - very healing. - Max Irons

My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well been documented, are various other parts of my body. - Donald Trump

I've posed nude for a photographer in the manner of Rodin's Thinker, but I looked merely constipated. - George Bernard Shaw

Our memories are card indexes consulted, and then put back in disorder, by authorities whom we do not control. - Cyril Connolly

Yoga is really trying to liberate us from shame about our bodies. To love your body is a very important thing. - Rodney Yee

The average pencil is seven inches long, with just a half-inch eraser - in case you thought optimism was dead. - Robert Brault

If you do a good job for others, you heal yourself at the same time, because a dose of joy is a spiritual cure. - Ed Sullivan

Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson

In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer

A small body of determined spirits fired by an unquenchable faith in their mission can alter the course of history. - Mahatma Gandhi

Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi

Concentrating on poses clears the mind, while focusing on the breath helps the body shift out of fight or flight mode. - Melanie Haiken

I chalk up the fact that I got diabetes to my body saying, 'Dude, you have been doing wrong for way too long!' - Randy Jackson

Medicine is the restoration of discordant elements; sickness is the discord of the elements infused into the living body. - Leonardo da Vinci

You can catch health, happiness, and success from others just as easily as you can catch worries, bitterness, and failure. - Dale Carnegie

A good friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you move a body - let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel. - Unknown

Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp

My whole body is a wreck. I've injured myself so many times with jujitsu, skateboarding, football. I guess I like to live hard. - Scott Caan

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

Think while walking, walk while thinking, and let writing be but the light pause, as the body on a walk rests in contemplation of wide open spaces. - Frederic Gros

One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler

My mother had a slender, small body, but a large heart - a heart so large that everybody's joys found welcome in it, and hospitable accommodation. - Mark Twain

Our food pyramid, the kind of diet that is constantly promoted, is completely warped. It's not based around anything to do with healing your body. - Jessica Origliasso


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11-Apr-2021