Q: Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? The greatest wealth is health. - Virgil Maternity Hospital: An heirport - Daffynitions joe-ks.com Society is a hospital of incurables. - Ralph Waldo Emerson Happiness is health and a short memory. - Unknown The best medicine is having a good wife. - Kin Hubbard For a desperate disease, a desperate cure. - Latin Proverb I left as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit. - Billy Connolly An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. - Ben Franklin Psychoanalysis is the disease it claims to cure. - Karl Kraus False Doctrine: Giving people the wrong medicine - Daffynitions joe-ks.com Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance. - King George V Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food. - Hippocrates A room without books is like a body without a soul. - Marcus Tullius Cicero A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan The wish for healing has always been half of health. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance. - Plato The only parts left of my original body are my elbows. - Phyllis Diller A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb People who shop in health food stores never look healthy. - Amy Sedaris Math, it's a puzzle to me. I love figuring out puzzles. - Maya Lin The best cure for unrequited love: get to know them better. - Alain de Botton Math is like love - a simple idea but it can get complicated. - R. Drabek The kitchen. The bathroom. The yin and yang of the household. - David C. Holley The cure for anything is salt water - sweat, tears or the sea. - Isak Dinesen Our health is a voyage and every illness is an adventure story. - Margiad Evans One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife. - Groucho Marx Of all ills that one endures, hope is a cheap and universal cure. - Abraham Cowley Sleep, riches, and health to be truly enjoyed must be interrupted. - Johann Paul Friedrich Richter My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes That Gerald Ford. He can't fart and chew gum at the same time. - Lyndon B. Johnson I used to practice Tony speeches in my bathroom with my hairbrush. - Audra McDonald I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. - Winston Bennett Salary is no object: I want only enough to keep body and soul apart. - Dorothy Parker Your body is not a temple, it's an amusement park. Enjoy the ride. - Anthony Bourdain I do believe that laughter is the best medicine - it cures everything. - Radhika Apte The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies. - P.J. O'Rourke My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb The colder the X-Ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it. - Steven Wright In these times, God's people must trust him for rest of body and soul. - David Wilkerson The good-news stories in medicine are early detection, early intervention. - Thomas R Insel Mental will is a muscle that needs exercise, just like muscles of the body. - Lynn Jennings Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley In nothing do men more nearly approach the gods than in giving health to men. - Cicero I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher The police are not here to create disorder, they;re here to preserve disorder. - Richard J Daley I'm not sick, I'm twisted. Sick makes it sound like there's a cure! - Unknown The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift Age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body. - Unknown I recently became a Christian Scientist. It was the only health plan I could afford. - Betsy Salkind First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley One day my mortal body will turn to dust, but the Turkish Republic will stand forever. - Mustafa Kemel Ataturk I like to crack the jokes now and again, but it's only because I struggle with math. - Tina Fey When the body of the people is possessed of the supreme power, it is called a democracy. - Charles de Secondat Seafood is one of the easiest things to digest - a bratwurst is really hard on the body. - Joey Chestnut When once a woman has given you her heart, you can never get rid of the rest of her body. - John Vanbrugh The human mind treats a new idea the way the body treats a strange protein: it rejects it. - P.B. Medawar Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart. - Caryn Leschen A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright Nothing can cure the soul but the senses, just as nothing can cure the senses but the soul. - Oscar Wilde I have the body but of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the heart and stomach of a King. - Elizabeth I There must be quite a few things a hot bath won't cure, but I don't know many of them. - Sylvia Plath Twists are wonderful for whittling your waist, stretching your back, and detoxifying the body. - Mandy Ingber The world was made for the body. The body was made for the soul. And the soul was made for God. - Ravi Zacharias Mental health problems do not affect three or four out of every five persons but one out of one. - William Menninger The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire With every bathroom renovation, there are three areas that I focus on: budget, function and style. - Candice Olson At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer My physician has become warden of my medically imprisoned body, pharmaceuticals the bars on my cell. - Grey E. Livingston The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humor. It's like medicine - very healing. - Max Irons My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well been documented, are various other parts of my body. - Donald Trump I've posed nude for a photographer in the manner of Rodin's Thinker, but I looked merely constipated. - George Bernard Shaw Our memories are card indexes consulted, and then put back in disorder, by authorities whom we do not control. - Cyril Connolly Yoga is really trying to liberate us from shame about our bodies. To love your body is a very important thing. - Rodney Yee The average pencil is seven inches long, with just a half-inch eraser - in case you thought optimism was dead. - Robert Brault If you do a good job for others, you heal yourself at the same time, because a dose of joy is a spiritual cure. - Ed Sullivan Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer A small body of determined spirits fired by an unquenchable faith in their mission can alter the course of history. - Mahatma Gandhi Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi Concentrating on poses clears the mind, while focusing on the breath helps the body shift out of fight or flight mode. - Melanie Haiken I chalk up the fact that I got diabetes to my body saying, 'Dude, you have been doing wrong for way too long!' - Randy Jackson Medicine is the restoration of discordant elements; sickness is the discord of the elements infused into the living body. - Leonardo da Vinci You can catch health, happiness, and success from others just as easily as you can catch worries, bitterness, and failure. - Dale Carnegie A good friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you move a body - let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel. - Unknown Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp My whole body is a wreck. I've injured myself so many times with jujitsu, skateboarding, football. I guess I like to live hard. - Scott Caan Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield Think while walking, walk while thinking, and let writing be but the light pause, as the body on a walk rests in contemplation of wide open spaces. - Frederic Gros One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler My mother had a slender, small body, but a large heart - a heart so large that everybody's joys found welcome in it, and hospitable accommodation. - Mark Twain Our food pyramid, the kind of diet that is constantly promoted, is completely warped. It's not based around anything to do with healing your body. - Jessica Origliasso see also Bathroom, Bad Gas, College & School Sections Acceptable Doctors Sign Colon Celery Colorectal Exam For Dogs Colorectal Surgeon Praise Dog Proctologist Fart Facts First Proctologist Exam German Flatulence Control Himilayan Cure for Constipation Menopause Sucks One Wee Scottish Farty Proctologist Call Proctologist’s Second-Hand Prescription Psychiatrist’s Patient Advice Singing Gynecologist |
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