Constipated Mathematician

Math tip for Bathroom Readers


Q: Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?
A: He worked it out with a pencil.



QuotaBills
Medicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous

No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb

Anatomical: Joe-ks about the body - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Society is a hospital of incurables. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The sexual act was never constipated. - Archie Bunker

A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb

Happiness is health and a short memory. - Unknown

I speak two languages, English and Body. - Mae West

The best medicine is having a good wife. - Kin Hubbard

No medicine cures what happiness cannot. - Gabriel G Marquez

The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker

Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron

Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance. - King George V

You can't cure stupid, but you can sedate it. - Unknown

The No. 1 cause of bankruptcies is medical bills. - Michael Moore

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker

A room without books is like a body without a soul. - Marcus Tullius Cicero

Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito

Four wheels move the body. Two wheels move the soul. - Unknown

Surgeon: The person who was a cut-up at medical school - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A fit, healthy body - that is the best fashion statement. - Jess C. Scott

Math, it's a puzzle to me. I love figuring out puzzles. - Maya Lin

If you ignore your health for long enough, it'll go away. - Unknown

Math is like love - a simple idea but it can get complicated. - R. Drabek

A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer

Medicine is a science of uncertainty and an art of probability. - William Osler

Zeal: A nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced. - Ambrose Bierce

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Markus Herz

There is no cure for birth and death, save to enjoy the interval. - George Santayana

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

Stories are memory aids, instruction manuals and moral compasses. - Aleks Krotoski

The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity. - Dorothy Parker

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

That Gerald Ford. He can't fart and chew gum at the same time. - Lyndon B. Johnson

I knew a girl so ugly, they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders. - Rodney Dangerfield

Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown

Being in a good frame of mind helps one keep in the picture of health. - Unknown

Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies. - P.J. O'Rourke

Would you take all these pains about your looks if every body was blind? - Charles Finney

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

The body is your temple. Keep it pure and clean for the soul to reside in. - B.K. Iyengar

I started singing in the bathroom. Nothing was coming out. It was ghastly. - Rod Stewart

In these times, God's people must trust him for rest of body and soul. - David Wilkerson

The good-news stories in medicine are early detection, early intervention. - Thomas R Insel

Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown

In nothing do men more nearly approach the gods than in giving health to men. - Cicero

The police are not here to create disorder, they;re here to preserve disorder. - Richard J Daley

Health care's not about insurance! Health care's about getting treatment. - P.J. O'Rourke

When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. - Karen Russell

My favorite thing about the human body is that we're all basically doughnuts. - Tyler Oakley

Cookie: The standard method for converting sugar, floor, and butter into body fat - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure. - Ross MacDonald

The French invented the only known cure for dandruff. It is called the guillotine. - P G Wodehouse

I recently became a Christian Scientist. It was the only health plan I could afford. - Betsy Salkind

People don't trust private health insurance companies for all the right reasons. - Bernie Sanders

Diabetes is all about insulin levels and sugar levels and what you put in your body. - Jay Cutler

Grave: A place in which the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley

If you want to get out of medicine the fullest enjoyment, be students all your lives. - David Riesman

Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime. - Scott Adams

We have so many words for states of mind, and so few words for the states of the body. - Jeanne Moreau

The cure for a broken heart is simple, my lady. A hot bath and a good night's sleep. - Margaret George

When once a woman has given you her heart, you can never get rid of the rest of her body. - John Vanbrugh

Smart people that like good health spend several hours outdoors daily in the shade of trees. - Steven Magee

There must be quite a few things a hot bath won't cure, but I don't know many of them. - Sylvia Plath

Genuine feelings cannot be produced, nor can they be eradicated. The body sticks to the facts. - Alice Miller

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

I don't know why they call it heartbreak. It feels like every part of my body is broken too. - Unknown

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin

I figure if I have my health, can pay the rent and I have my friends, I call it "content." - Lauren Bacall

A lot of what passes for depression these days is nothing more than a body saying that it needs work. - Geoffrey Norman

When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield

They have gun control in Cuba. They have universal health care in Cuba. So why do they want to come here? - Paul Harvey

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

I sleep with a light on in the bathroom so I can see where I'm at, because I wake up and have no clue. - Carrie Underwood

Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. - Abe Lemons

My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well been documented, are various other parts of my body. - Donald Trump

Going without food or water will kill the body, but the lack of relationship will kill the minds and spirit. - David Jeremiah

An angel is a spiritual creature created by God without a body for the service of Christendom and the church. - Leo Rosten

Most ballet teachers in the United States are terrible. If they were in medicine, everyone would be poisoned. - George Balanchine

Yoga is really trying to liberate us from shame about our bodies. To love your body is a very important thing. - Rodney Yee

The average pencil is seven inches long, with just a half-inch eraser - in case you thought optimism was dead. - Robert Brault

In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer

Even if you don't have time for a big workout, stretching in the morning and night really changes your body. - Erin Heatherton

What some call health, if purchased by perpetual anxiety about diet, isn't much better than tedious disease. - Alexander Pope

The soul is placed in the body like a rough diamond, and must be polished, or the luster of it will never appear. - Daniel Defoe

Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi

You can go your whole life and not need math or physics for a minute, but the ability to tell a joke is always handy. - Garrison Keillor

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

You can catch health, happiness, and success from others just as easily as you can catch worries, bitterness, and failure. - Dale Carnegie

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

We are, as a species, addicted to story. Even when the body goes to sleep, the mind stays up all night, telling itself stories. - John Gottschall

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

Every essential oil has a healing purpose. I think it's a great gift because it's something that elevates your mood and your health. - Yolanda Hadid

One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler


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21-Sep-2021