Step 1: Go buy a turkey
Step 2: Take a drink of whiskey
Step 3: Put turkey in the oven
Step 4: Take another 2 drinks of whiskey
Step 5: Set the degree at 375 ovens
Step 6: Take 3 more whiskeys of drink
Step 7: Turn oven the on
Step 8: Take 4 whisks of drinky
Step 9: Turk the bastey
Step 10: Whiskey another bottle of get
Step 11: Stick a turkey in the thermometer
Step 12: Glass yourself o pour of whiskey
Step 13: Bake the whiskey for 4 hours
Step 14: Take the oven out of the turkey
Step 15: Floor the turkey up off of the pick
Step 16: Turk the carvey
Step 17: Get yourself another scottle of botch
Step 18: Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkey
Step 19: Bless the saying, pass and eat out
Hunger is a good cook. - Proverb
Then you add two forkfuls of cooking oil. - The French Chef
Eternity is two people and a roast turkey. - James Dent
She did not so much cook as assassinate food. - Storm Jameson
Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. - Jimmy Durante
No duty is more urgent than that of returning thanks. - St. Ambrose
I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields
Jello: The only food your husband has ever learned to cook - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I was 32 when I started cooking; up until then, I just ate. - Julia Child
A peacock that rests on his feathers is just another turkey. - Dolly Parton
My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal. - Rodney Dangerfield
For all that has been - thanks.
For all that will be - yes. - Dag Hammarskjold
Cooking certain dishes, like roast pork, reminds me of my mother. - Maya Angelou
I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator. - Emo Philips
Music with dinner is an insult both to the cook and the violinist. - G K Chesterton
We take for granted the things that we should be giving thanks for. - Unknown
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you didn't cook it! - Gordon Ramsay
Govern a great nation as you would cook a small fish. Do not overdo it. - Lao Tzu
If ever a chef were to cook a fly, he would keep the breast for himself. - Poland Proverb
Thanks to this man I've gone from over-the-counter to over-the-barrel. - Unknown
A joyful life is an individual creation that cannot be copied from a recipe. - Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi
The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child
The only good thing about him is his cook. The world visits his dinners, not him. - Moliere
A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen. - Kin Hubbard
When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Women go right on cooking. - Gail Sheehy
A recipe is only a theme, which an intelligent cook can play each time with a variation. - Madame Benoit
Thanks you for being a part of my life, whether you were a Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime. - Unknown
If you meet someone who can cook and do housework, don't hesitate a minute - marry him! - Rita Rudner
My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves. - Rodney Dangerfield
My mother gave me my drive, but my father gave me my dreams. Thanks to him, I could see a future. - Liza Minnelli
The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases. - Carl Jung
It was so hot today that Burger King was singing, 'if you want it your way, cook it yourself.' - Johnny Carson
I refuse to believe that trading recipes is silly. Tuna-fish casserole is at least as real as corporate stock. - Barbara Harrison
I'm not always optimistic. You wouldn't have all cylinders cooking if you were always like Mary Poppins. - Carol Burnett
The wonderful world of home appliances now makes it possible to cook indoors with charcoal and outdoors with gas. - Bill Vaughan
Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Unless he doesn't like sushi, then you also have to teach him to cook. - Auren Hoffman
I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, "Well, that's not going to happen." - Unknown
We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing. - George Carlin
Got no checkbooks, got no banks,
Still I'd like to express my thanks -
I got the sun in the mornin'
And the moon at night. - Irving Berlin
I cook croquetas, and I eat jamon. I keep my diet 100% Mediterranean and drink my Rioja. In that sense, I have a piece of Spain in West Hollywood. - Paz Vega
Then you add two forkfuls of cooking oil. - The French Chef
Eternity is two people and a roast turkey. - James Dent
She did not so much cook as assassinate food. - Storm Jameson
Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. - Jimmy Durante
No duty is more urgent than that of returning thanks. - St. Ambrose
I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields
Jello: The only food your husband has ever learned to cook - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I was 32 when I started cooking; up until then, I just ate. - Julia Child
A peacock that rests on his feathers is just another turkey. - Dolly Parton
My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal. - Rodney Dangerfield
For all that has been - thanks.
For all that will be - yes. - Dag Hammarskjold
Cooking certain dishes, like roast pork, reminds me of my mother. - Maya Angelou
I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator. - Emo Philips
Music with dinner is an insult both to the cook and the violinist. - G K Chesterton
We take for granted the things that we should be giving thanks for. - Unknown
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you didn't cook it! - Gordon Ramsay
Govern a great nation as you would cook a small fish. Do not overdo it. - Lao Tzu
If ever a chef were to cook a fly, he would keep the breast for himself. - Poland Proverb
Thanks to this man I've gone from over-the-counter to over-the-barrel. - Unknown
A joyful life is an individual creation that cannot be copied from a recipe. - Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi
The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child
The only good thing about him is his cook. The world visits his dinners, not him. - Moliere
A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen. - Kin Hubbard
When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Women go right on cooking. - Gail Sheehy
A recipe is only a theme, which an intelligent cook can play each time with a variation. - Madame Benoit
Thanks you for being a part of my life, whether you were a Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime. - Unknown
If you meet someone who can cook and do housework, don't hesitate a minute - marry him! - Rita Rudner
My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves. - Rodney Dangerfield
My mother gave me my drive, but my father gave me my dreams. Thanks to him, I could see a future. - Liza Minnelli
The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases. - Carl Jung
It was so hot today that Burger King was singing, 'if you want it your way, cook it yourself.' - Johnny Carson
I refuse to believe that trading recipes is silly. Tuna-fish casserole is at least as real as corporate stock. - Barbara Harrison
I'm not always optimistic. You wouldn't have all cylinders cooking if you were always like Mary Poppins. - Carol Burnett
The wonderful world of home appliances now makes it possible to cook indoors with charcoal and outdoors with gas. - Bill Vaughan
Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Unless he doesn't like sushi, then you also have to teach him to cook. - Auren Hoffman
I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, "Well, that's not going to happen." - Unknown
We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing. - George Carlin
Got no checkbooks, got no banks,
Still I'd like to express my thanks -
I got the sun in the mornin'
And the moon at night. - Irving Berlin
I cook croquetas, and I eat jamon. I keep my diet 100% Mediterranean and drink my Rioja. In that sense, I have a piece of Spain in West Hollywood. - Paz Vega
see also Food & Turkey Sections
Going Cold Turkey
Grandma’s Beautiful Pies
Happy Thanksgiving, Y’all!
Ode To A Turkey
Redneck Thanksgiving
Redneck Turkey Shoot
Run, Turkey, Run!
Thanksgiving Harvest Time
Too Much Turkey
Turkey Recipe
Turkey Weather Forecast
’Twas The Night Before Thanksgiving
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25-Feb-2021 |