How To Cook A Turkey

Don’t forget to set the degree to 375 ovens



Step 1: Go buy a turkey
Step 2: Take a drink of whiskey
Step 3: Put turkey in the oven
Step 4: Take another 2 drinks of whiskey
Step 5: Set the degree at 375 ovens
Step 6: Take 3 more whiskeys of drink
Step 7: Turn oven the on
Step 8: Take 4 whisks of drinky
Step 9: Turk the bastey
Step 10: Whiskey another bottle of get
Step 11: Stick a turkey in the thermometer
Step 12: Glass yourself o pour of whiskey
Step 13: Bake the whiskey for 4 hours
Step 14: Take the oven out of the turkey
Step 15: Floor the turkey up off of the pick
Step 16: Turk the carvey
Step 17: Get yourself another scottle of botch
Step 18: Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkey
Step 19: Bless the saying, pass and eat out



Turkey runs around happy thanksgiving display
QuotaBills
Hunger is a good cook. - Proverb

Then you add two forkfuls of cooking oil. - The French Chef

Eternity is two people and a roast turkey. - James Dent

She did not so much cook as assassinate food. - Storm Jameson

Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. - Jimmy Durante

No duty is more urgent than that of returning thanks. - St. Ambrose

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

Jello: The only food your husband has ever learned to cook - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I was 32 when I started cooking; up until then, I just ate. - Julia Child

A peacock that rests on his feathers is just another turkey. - Dolly Parton

My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal. - Rodney Dangerfield

For all that has been - thanks.
For all that will be - yes. - Dag Hammarskjold

Cooking certain dishes, like roast pork, reminds me of my mother. - Maya Angelou

I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator. - Emo Philips

Music with dinner is an insult both to the cook and the violinist. - G K Chesterton

We take for granted the things that we should be giving thanks for. - Unknown

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you didn't cook it! - Gordon Ramsay

Govern a great nation as you would cook a small fish. Do not overdo it. - Lao Tzu

If ever a chef were to cook a fly, he would keep the breast for himself. - Poland Proverb

Thanks to this man I've gone from over-the-counter to over-the-barrel. - Unknown

A joyful life is an individual creation that cannot be copied from a recipe. - Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

The only good thing about him is his cook. The world visits his dinners, not him. - Moliere

A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen. - Kin Hubbard

When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Women go right on cooking. - Gail Sheehy

A recipe is only a theme, which an intelligent cook can play each time with a variation. - Madame Benoit

Thanks you for being a part of my life, whether you were a Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime. - Unknown

If you meet someone who can cook and do housework, don't hesitate a minute - marry him! - Rita Rudner

My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves. - Rodney Dangerfield

My mother gave me my drive, but my father gave me my dreams. Thanks to him, I could see a future. - Liza Minnelli

The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases. - Carl Jung

It was so hot today that Burger King was singing, 'if you want it your way, cook it yourself.' - Johnny Carson

I refuse to believe that trading recipes is silly. Tuna-fish casserole is at least as real as corporate stock. - Barbara Harrison

I'm not always optimistic. You wouldn't have all cylinders cooking if you were always like Mary Poppins. - Carol Burnett

The wonderful world of home appliances now makes it possible to cook indoors with charcoal and outdoors with gas. - Bill Vaughan

Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Unless he doesn't like sushi, then you also have to teach him to cook. - Auren Hoffman

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, "Well, that's not going to happen." - Unknown

We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing. - George Carlin

Got no checkbooks, got no banks,
Still I'd like to express my thanks -
I got the sun in the mornin'
And the moon at night. - Irving Berlin

I cook croquetas, and I eat jamon. I keep my diet 100% Mediterranean and drink my Rioja. In that sense, I have a piece of Spain in West Hollywood. - Paz Vega


see also   Food  &  Turkey  Sections
Going Cold Turkey
Grandma’s Beautiful Pies
Happy Thanksgiving, Y’all!
Ode To A Turkey
Redneck Thanksgiving
Redneck Turkey Shoot
Run, Turkey, Run!
Thanksgiving Harvest Time
Too Much Turkey
Turkey Recipe
Turkey Weather Forecast
’Twas The Night Before Thanksgiving

 

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25-Feb-2021