Step 1: Go buy a turkey
Step 2: Take a drink of whiskey
Step 3: Put turkey in the oven
Step 4: Take another 2 drinks of whiskey
Step 5: Set the degree at 375 ovens
Step 6: Take 3 more whiskeys of drink
Step 7: Turn oven the on
Step 8: Take 4 whisks of drinky
Step 9: Turk the bastey
Step 10: Whiskey another bottle of get
Step 11: Stick a turkey in the thermometer
Step 12: Glass yourself o pour of whiskey
Step 13: Bake the whiskey for 4 hours
Step 14: Take the oven out of the turkey
Step 15: Floor the turkey up off of the pick
Step 16: Turk the carvey
Step 17: Get yourself another scottle of botch
Step 18: Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkey
Step 19: Bless the saying, pass and eat out
Talk doesn't cook rice. - Chinese Proverb
Then you add two forkfuls of cooking oil. - The French Chef
Recipe for a happy husband: Fake and Bake. - Unknown
Eternity is two people and a roast turkey. - James Dent
Here he comes, swelling like a turkey-cock. - William Shakespeare
Poultry is for the cook what canvas is for the painter. - Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin
Jello: The only food your husband has ever learned to cook - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A peacock that rests on his feathers is just another turkey. - Dolly Parton
I'm a terrible cook, but I make very good lobster salad. - Nancy Carell
My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal. - Rodney Dangerfield
A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of. - Jane Austen
Cooking certain dishes, like roast pork, reminds me of my mother. - Maya Angelou
Smoke detectors are basically just you-suck-at-cooking detectors. - Julius Sharpe
Music with dinner is an insult both to the cook and the violinist. - G K Chesterton
We take for granted the things that we should be giving thanks for. - Unknown
Govern a great nation as you would cook a small fish. Do not overdo it. - Lao Tzu
If ever a chef were to cook a fly, he would keep the breast for himself. - Poland Proverb
Wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving. - Unknown
A joyful life is an individual creation that cannot be copied from a recipe. - Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi
The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child
The turkey is living proof that an animal can survive with no intelligence at all. - Harvey D. Comstock
A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen. - Kin Hubbard
When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Women go right on cooking. - Gail Sheehy
Thanks you for being a part of my life, whether you were a Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime. - Unknown
If you meet someone who can cook and do housework, don't hesitate a minute - marry him! - Rita Rudner
My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves. - Rodney Dangerfield
The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases. - Carl Jung
I prefer Hostess fruit pies to pop-up toaster tarts because they don't require as much cooking. - Carrie Snow
We would worry less if we praised more. Thanksgiving is the enemy of discontent and dissatisfaction. - Harry Ironside
I'm not always optimistic. You wouldn't have all cylinders cooking if you were always like Mary Poppins. - Carol Burnett
What my mother believed about cooking is that if you worked hard and prospered, someone else would do it for you. - Nora Ephron
The wonderful world of home appliances now makes it possible to cook indoors with charcoal and outdoors with gas. - Bill Vaughan
No matter what the recipe, any baker can do wonders in the kitchen with some good ingredients and an upbeat attitude. - Buddy Valastro
The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned now to cook. - Andy Rooney
Thanksgiving is the language of heaven, and we had better start to learn it if we are not to be mere dumb aliens there. - AJ Gossip
There is one thing more exasperating than a spouse who can cook and won't... and that's a spouse who can't cook and will. - Robert Frost
We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing. - George Carlin
Got no checkbooks, got no banks,
Still I'd like to express my thanks -
I got the sun in the mornin'
And the moon at night. - Irving Berlin
I cook croquetas, and I eat jamon. I keep my diet 100% Mediterranean and drink my Rioja. In that sense, I have a piece of Spain in West Hollywood. - Paz Vega
Sometimes our light goes out but is blown into flame by another human being. Each of us owes deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this light. - Albert Schweitzer
Then you add two forkfuls of cooking oil. - The French Chef
Recipe for a happy husband: Fake and Bake. - Unknown
Eternity is two people and a roast turkey. - James Dent
Here he comes, swelling like a turkey-cock. - William Shakespeare
Poultry is for the cook what canvas is for the painter. - Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin
Jello: The only food your husband has ever learned to cook - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A peacock that rests on his feathers is just another turkey. - Dolly Parton
I'm a terrible cook, but I make very good lobster salad. - Nancy Carell
My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal. - Rodney Dangerfield
A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of. - Jane Austen
Cooking certain dishes, like roast pork, reminds me of my mother. - Maya Angelou
Smoke detectors are basically just you-suck-at-cooking detectors. - Julius Sharpe
Music with dinner is an insult both to the cook and the violinist. - G K Chesterton
We take for granted the things that we should be giving thanks for. - Unknown
Govern a great nation as you would cook a small fish. Do not overdo it. - Lao Tzu
If ever a chef were to cook a fly, he would keep the breast for himself. - Poland Proverb
Wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving. - Unknown
A joyful life is an individual creation that cannot be copied from a recipe. - Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi
The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child
The turkey is living proof that an animal can survive with no intelligence at all. - Harvey D. Comstock
A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen. - Kin Hubbard
When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Women go right on cooking. - Gail Sheehy
Thanks you for being a part of my life, whether you were a Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime. - Unknown
If you meet someone who can cook and do housework, don't hesitate a minute - marry him! - Rita Rudner
My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves. - Rodney Dangerfield
The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases. - Carl Jung
I prefer Hostess fruit pies to pop-up toaster tarts because they don't require as much cooking. - Carrie Snow
We would worry less if we praised more. Thanksgiving is the enemy of discontent and dissatisfaction. - Harry Ironside
I'm not always optimistic. You wouldn't have all cylinders cooking if you were always like Mary Poppins. - Carol Burnett
What my mother believed about cooking is that if you worked hard and prospered, someone else would do it for you. - Nora Ephron
The wonderful world of home appliances now makes it possible to cook indoors with charcoal and outdoors with gas. - Bill Vaughan
No matter what the recipe, any baker can do wonders in the kitchen with some good ingredients and an upbeat attitude. - Buddy Valastro
The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned now to cook. - Andy Rooney
Thanksgiving is the language of heaven, and we had better start to learn it if we are not to be mere dumb aliens there. - AJ Gossip
There is one thing more exasperating than a spouse who can cook and won't... and that's a spouse who can't cook and will. - Robert Frost
We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing. - George Carlin
Got no checkbooks, got no banks,
Still I'd like to express my thanks -
I got the sun in the mornin'
And the moon at night. - Irving Berlin
I cook croquetas, and I eat jamon. I keep my diet 100% Mediterranean and drink my Rioja. In that sense, I have a piece of Spain in West Hollywood. - Paz Vega
Sometimes our light goes out but is blown into flame by another human being. Each of us owes deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this light. - Albert Schweitzer
see also Food & Turkey Sections
Going Cold Turkey
Grandma’s Beautiful Pies
Happy Thanksgiving, Y’all!
Ode To A Turkey
Redneck Thanksgiving
Redneck Turkey Shoot
Run, Turkey, Run!
Thanksgiving Harvest Time
Too Much Turkey
Turkey Recipe
Turkey Weather Forecast
’Twas The Night Before Thanksgiving
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22-Oct-2021 |