How To Cook A Turkey

Don’t forget to set the degree to 375 ovens



Step 1: Go buy a turkey
Step 2: Take a drink of whiskey
Step 3: Put turkey in the oven
Step 4: Take another 2 drinks of whiskey
Step 5: Set the degree at 375 ovens
Step 6: Take 3 more whiskeys of drink
Step 7: Turn oven the on
Step 8: Take 4 whisks of drinky
Step 9: Turk the bastey
Step 10: Whiskey another bottle of get
Step 11: Stick a turkey in the thermometer
Step 12: Glass yourself o pour of whiskey
Step 13: Bake the whiskey for 4 hours
Step 14: Take the oven out of the turkey
Step 15: Floor the turkey up off of the pick
Step 16: Turk the carvey
Step 17: Get yourself another scottle of botch
Step 18: Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkey
Step 19: Bless the saying, pass and eat out



Turkey runs around happy thanksgiving display
QuotaBills
Talk doesn't cook rice. - Chinese Proverb

Recipe for a happy husband: Fake and Bake. - Unknown

Eternity is two people and a roast turkey. - James Dent

Here he comes, swelling like a turkey-cock. - William Shakespeare

She did not so much cook as assassinate food. - Storm Jameson

I'm tired of recipes assuming I have a stove. - Kevin Farzad

Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. - Jimmy Durante

Poultry is for the cook what canvas is for the painter. - Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

Envy and greed starve on a healthy diet of thanksgiving. - Billy Graham

I don't even butter my bread. I consider that cooking. - Katherine Cebrian

A peacock that rests on his feathers is just another turkey. - Dolly Parton

I'm a terrible cook, but I make very good lobster salad. - Nancy Carell

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield

A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of. - Jane Austen

For all that has been - thanks.
For all that will be - yes. - Dag Hammarskjold

Music with dinner is an insult both to the cook and the violinist. - G K Chesterton

I'm a bit of a gourmet chef. I love cooking - mostly Thai food. - Will Ferrell

We are seldom aware of what's cooking until the pot boils over. - Amish Saying

Cooking Tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out. - Nicole Hollander

Thanks to this man I've gone from over-the-counter to over-the-barrel. - Unknown

A joyful life is an individual creation that cannot be copied from a recipe. - Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

The turkey is living proof that an animal can survive with no intelligence at all. - Harvey D. Comstock

Thanksgiving is the one occasion each year when gluttony becomes a patriotic duty. - Michael Dresser

A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen. - Kin Hubbard

From an early age I understood that cooking was never going to be a job, it's a passion. - Gordon Ramsay

Not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of our thanksgiving. - W.T. Purkiser

I refuse to believe that trading recipes is silly. Tuna-fish casserole is at least as real as corporate stock. - Barbara Harrison

I'm not always optimistic. You wouldn't have all cylinders cooking if you were always like Mary Poppins. - Carol Burnett

What my mother believed about cooking is that if you worked hard and prospered, someone else would do it for you. - Nora Ephron

The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned now to cook. - Andy Rooney

Thanksgiving is the language of heaven, and we had better start to learn it if we are not to be mere dumb aliens there. - AJ Gossip

An expert is like the bottom of a double boiler. It shoots off a lot of steam, but it never really knows what's cooking. - Unknown

Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. - I Thessalonians 5:16-18

Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Unless he doesn't like sushi, then you also have to teach him to cook. - Auren Hoffman

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, "Well, that's not going to happen." - Unknown

There is one thing more exasperating than a spouse who can cook and won't... and that's a spouse who can't cook and will. - Robert Frost

Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing. - George Carlin

Sometimes our light goes out but is blown into flame by another human being. Each of us owes deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this light. - Albert Schweitzer


see also   Food  &  Turkey  Sections
Going Cold Turkey
Grandma’s Beautiful Pies
Happy Thanksgiving, Y’all!
Ode To A Turkey
Redneck Thanksgiving
Redneck Turkey Shoot
Run, Turkey, Run!
Thanksgiving Harvest Time
Too Much Turkey
Turkey Recipe
Turkey Weather Forecast
’Twas The Night Before Thanksgiving

 

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30-Jun-2022