How To Cook A Turkey

Don’t forget to set the degree to 375 ovens



Step 1: Go buy a turkey
Step 2: Take a drink of whiskey
Step 3: Put turkey in the oven
Step 4: Take another 2 drinks of whiskey
Step 5: Set the degree at 375 ovens
Step 6: Take 3 more whiskeys of drink
Step 7: Turn oven the on
Step 8: Take 4 whisks of drinky
Step 9: Turk the bastey
Step 10: Whiskey another bottle of get
Step 11: Stick a turkey in the thermometer
Step 12: Glass yourself o pour of whiskey
Step 13: Bake the whiskey for 4 hours
Step 14: Take the oven out of the turkey
Step 15: Floor the turkey up off of the pick
Step 16: Turk the carvey
Step 17: Get yourself another scottle of botch
Step 18: Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkey
Step 19: Bless the saying, pass and eat out



Turkey runs around happy thanksgiving display
QuotaBills
Hunger is a good cook. - Proverb

Talk doesn't cook rice. - Chinese Proverb

I'm tired of recipes assuming I have a stove. - Kevin Farzad

Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. - Jimmy Durante

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

Poultry is for the cook what canvas is for the painter. - Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

I was 32 when I started cooking; up until then, I just ate. - Julia Child

A peacock that rests on his feathers is just another turkey. - Dolly Parton

I'm a terrible cook, but I make very good lobster salad. - Nancy Carell

A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of. - Jane Austen

For all that has been - thanks.
For all that will be - yes. - Dag Hammarskjold

Cooking certain dishes, like roast pork, reminds me of my mother. - Maya Angelou

I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator. - Emo Philips

Music with dinner is an insult both to the cook and the violinist. - G K Chesterton

I'm a bit of a gourmet chef. I love cooking - mostly Thai food. - Will Ferrell

Thanks to this man I've gone from over-the-counter to over-the-barrel. - Unknown

Wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving. - Unknown

A joyful life is an individual creation that cannot be copied from a recipe. - Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

Advice is like cooking - you should try it first before you feed it to others. - Unknown

Thanksgiving is the one occasion each year when gluttony becomes a patriotic duty. - Michael Dresser

A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen. - Kin Hubbard

A recipe is only a theme, which an intelligent cook can play each time with a variation. - Madame Benoit

Thanks you for being a part of my life, whether you were a Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime. - Unknown

If you meet someone who can cook and do housework, don't hesitate a minute - marry him! - Rita Rudner

I love Thanksgiving turkey - it's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases. - Carl Jung

I prefer Hostess fruit pies to pop-up toaster tarts because they don't require as much cooking. - Carrie Snow

It was so hot today that Burger King was singing, 'if you want it your way, cook it yourself.' - Johnny Carson

Your majesty, I thank you from the bottom of my heart, and Madame Houde thanks you from her bottom too. - Camillein Houde

In the words of Harry S. Truman, "If it's too hot in the kitchen, stay away from the cook." - Archie Bunker

I refuse to believe that trading recipes is silly. Tuna-fish casserole is at least as real as corporate stock. - Barbara Harrison

I'm not always optimistic. You wouldn't have all cylinders cooking if you were always like Mary Poppins. - Carol Burnett

The wonderful world of home appliances now makes it possible to cook indoors with charcoal and outdoors with gas. - Bill Vaughan

I love spaghetti. And I like to cook spaghetti. And I used to eat it every day. I weighed thirty pounds more than I do now. - Christopher Walken

At the age of six I wanted to be a cook. At seven I wanted to be Napoleon. And my ambition has been growing steadily ever since. - Salvador Dali

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, "Well, that's not going to happen." - Unknown

There is one thing more exasperating than a spouse who can cook and won't... and that's a spouse who can't cook and will. - Robert Frost

We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing. - George Carlin

Got no checkbooks, got no banks,
Still I'd like to express my thanks -
I got the sun in the mornin'
And the moon at night. - Irving Berlin

Sometimes our light goes out but is blown into flame by another human being. Each of us owes deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this light. - Albert Schweitzer


see also   Food  &  Turkey  Sections
Going Cold Turkey
Grandma’s Beautiful Pies
Happy Thanksgiving, Y’all!
Ode To A Turkey
Redneck Thanksgiving
Redneck Turkey Shoot
Run, Turkey, Run!
Thanksgiving Harvest Time
Too Much Turkey
Turkey Recipe
Turkey Weather Forecast
’Twas The Night Before Thanksgiving

 

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30-May-2020