Step 1: Go buy a turkey
Step 2: Take a drink of whiskey
Step 3: Put turkey in the oven
Step 4: Take another 2 drinks of whiskey
Step 5: Set the degree at 375 ovens
Step 6: Take 3 more whiskeys of drink
Step 7: Turn oven the on
Step 8: Take 4 whisks of drinky
Step 9: Turk the bastey
Step 10: Whiskey another bottle of get
Step 11: Stick a turkey in the thermometer
Step 12: Glass yourself o pour of whiskey
Step 13: Bake the whiskey for 4 hours
Step 14: Take the oven out of the turkey
Step 15: Floor the turkey up off of the pick
Step 16: Turk the carvey
Step 17: Get yourself another scottle of botch
Step 18: Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkey
Step 19: Bless the saying, pass and eat out
Hunger is a good cook. - Proverb
Recipe for a happy husband: Fake and Bake. - Unknown
Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. - Jimmy Durante
No duty is more urgent than that of returning thanks. - St. Ambrose
I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields
I don't even butter my bread. I consider that cooking. - Katherine Cebrian
Jello: The only food your husband has ever learned to cook - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I'm a terrible cook, but I make very good lobster salad. - Nancy Carell
In France, cooking is a serious art form and a national sport. - Julia Child
I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator. - Emo Philips
We take for granted the things that we should be giving thanks for. - Unknown
Cooking Tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out. - Nicole Hollander
If ever a chef were to cook a fly, he would keep the breast for himself. - Poland Proverb
Advice is like cooking - you should try it first before you feed it to others. - Unknown
The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child
The turkey is living proof that an animal can survive with no intelligence at all. - Harvey D. Comstock
Thanksgiving is the one occasion each year when gluttony becomes a patriotic duty. - Michael Dresser
Go see that turkey for yourself, and see for yourself why you shouldn't see it. - Samuel Goldwyn
A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen. - Kin Hubbard
When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Women go right on cooking. - Gail Sheehy
Thanks you for being a part of my life, whether you were a Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime. - Unknown
From an early age I understood that cooking was never going to be a job, it's a passion. - Gordon Ramsay
My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves. - Rodney Dangerfield
Not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of our thanksgiving. - W.T. Purkiser
The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases. - Carl Jung
It was so hot today that Burger King was singing, 'if you want it your way, cook it yourself.' - Johnny Carson
Your majesty, I thank you from the bottom of my heart, and Madame Houde thanks you from her bottom too. - Camillein Houde
Once you have mastered a technique, you hardly need look at a recipe again, and can take off on your own. - Julia Child
I'm not always optimistic. You wouldn't have all cylinders cooking if you were always like Mary Poppins. - Carol Burnett
The wonderful world of home appliances now makes it possible to cook indoors with charcoal and outdoors with gas. - Bill Vaughan
The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned now to cook. - Andy Rooney
I love spaghetti. And I like to cook spaghetti. And I used to eat it every day. I weighed thirty pounds more than I do now. - Christopher Walken
An expert is like the bottom of a double boiler. It shoots off a lot of steam, but it never really knows what's cooking. - Unknown
Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. - I Thessalonians 5:16-18
Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Unless he doesn't like sushi, then you also have to teach him to cook. - Auren Hoffman
At the age of six I wanted to be a cook. At seven I wanted to be Napoleon. And my ambition has been growing steadily ever since. - Salvador Dali
I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, "Well, that's not going to happen." - Unknown
There is one thing more exasperating than a spouse who can cook and won't... and that's a spouse who can't cook and will. - Robert Frost
We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing. - George Carlin
Got no checkbooks, got no banks,
Still I'd like to express my thanks -
I got the sun in the mornin'
And the moon at night. - Irving Berlin
Recipe for a happy husband: Fake and Bake. - Unknown
Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. - Jimmy Durante
No duty is more urgent than that of returning thanks. - St. Ambrose
I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields
I don't even butter my bread. I consider that cooking. - Katherine Cebrian
Jello: The only food your husband has ever learned to cook - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I'm a terrible cook, but I make very good lobster salad. - Nancy Carell
In France, cooking is a serious art form and a national sport. - Julia Child
I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator. - Emo Philips
We take for granted the things that we should be giving thanks for. - Unknown
Cooking Tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out. - Nicole Hollander
If ever a chef were to cook a fly, he would keep the breast for himself. - Poland Proverb
Advice is like cooking - you should try it first before you feed it to others. - Unknown
The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child
The turkey is living proof that an animal can survive with no intelligence at all. - Harvey D. Comstock
Thanksgiving is the one occasion each year when gluttony becomes a patriotic duty. - Michael Dresser
Go see that turkey for yourself, and see for yourself why you shouldn't see it. - Samuel Goldwyn
A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen. - Kin Hubbard
When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Women go right on cooking. - Gail Sheehy
Thanks you for being a part of my life, whether you were a Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime. - Unknown
From an early age I understood that cooking was never going to be a job, it's a passion. - Gordon Ramsay
My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves. - Rodney Dangerfield
Not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of our thanksgiving. - W.T. Purkiser
The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases. - Carl Jung
It was so hot today that Burger King was singing, 'if you want it your way, cook it yourself.' - Johnny Carson
Your majesty, I thank you from the bottom of my heart, and Madame Houde thanks you from her bottom too. - Camillein Houde
Once you have mastered a technique, you hardly need look at a recipe again, and can take off on your own. - Julia Child
I'm not always optimistic. You wouldn't have all cylinders cooking if you were always like Mary Poppins. - Carol Burnett
The wonderful world of home appliances now makes it possible to cook indoors with charcoal and outdoors with gas. - Bill Vaughan
The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned now to cook. - Andy Rooney
I love spaghetti. And I like to cook spaghetti. And I used to eat it every day. I weighed thirty pounds more than I do now. - Christopher Walken
An expert is like the bottom of a double boiler. It shoots off a lot of steam, but it never really knows what's cooking. - Unknown
Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. - I Thessalonians 5:16-18
Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Unless he doesn't like sushi, then you also have to teach him to cook. - Auren Hoffman
At the age of six I wanted to be a cook. At seven I wanted to be Napoleon. And my ambition has been growing steadily ever since. - Salvador Dali
I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, "Well, that's not going to happen." - Unknown
There is one thing more exasperating than a spouse who can cook and won't... and that's a spouse who can't cook and will. - Robert Frost
We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing. - George Carlin
Got no checkbooks, got no banks,
Still I'd like to express my thanks -
I got the sun in the mornin'
And the moon at night. - Irving Berlin
see also Food & Turkey Sections
Going Cold Turkey
Grandma’s Beautiful Pies
Happy Thanksgiving, Y’all!
Ode To A Turkey
Redneck Thanksgiving
Redneck Turkey Shoot
Run, Turkey, Run!
Thanksgiving Harvest Time
Too Much Turkey
Turkey Recipe
Turkey Weather Forecast
’Twas The Night Before Thanksgiving
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04-Dec-2020 |