Forgetful Old Ladies

When the memory fails


Three old ladies are sitting in a diner, chatting about various things. One lady says, “You know, I’m getting really forgetful. This morning, I was standing at the top of the stairs, and I couldn’t remember whether I had just come up or was about to go down.”

The second lady says, “You think that’s bad? The other day, I was sitting on the edge of my bed, and I couldn’t remember whether I was going to bed or had just woken up!”

The third lady smiles smugly. “Well, my memory’s just as good as it’s always been, knock on wood.” She raps the table. With a startled look on her face, she asks, “Who’s there?”


QuotaBills
Women and elephants never forget. - Dorothy Parker

I never forgive, but I always forget. - Arthur Balfour

But men are men; the best sometimes forget. - William Shakespeare

Fear. Blame. Don't forget. Mom. I love you. - Lauren Oliver

The creditor hath a better memory than the debtor. - James Howell

Never forget what a man has said to you when he was angry. - Henry Ward Beecher

A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience. - Doug Larson

I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand. - Confucius

Forget what hurt you in the past but never forget what it taught you. - Unknown

You may forget that you are at every moment totally dependent on God. - C S Lewis

The arrogance of the present is to forget the intelligence of the past. - Ken Burns

Young men soon give, and soon forget, affronts; old age is slow in both. - Joseph Addison

Ultimately it is persistence that will pay off; forget about perfection. - Joe Segal

Nothing fixes a thing so intensely in the memory as the wish to forget it. - Michel de Montaigne

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel. - Carl W. Buechner

It's surprising how much of memory is built around things unnoticed at the time. - Barbara Kingsolver

I am not so lost in lexicography as to forget that words are the daughters of earth. - Samuel Johnson

Grave: A place in which the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The first rule is not to lose money. The second rule is not to forget the first rule. - Warren Buffett

People advising others often forget that the same advice applies to their life as well. - Anuj Somany

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

Stretching his hand up to reach the stars, too often man forgets the flowers at his feet. - Jeremy Bentham

You can lead audiences to a half-dressed, aging pop star but you can't make them watch. - Megan Basham

Tell me and I'll forget. Show me and I may not remember. Involve me and I'll understand. - Native American Proverb

Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day. - Jay Leno

Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why men need instant replays in sports. - Rita Rudner

The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

The elderly don't drive that badly; they're just the only ones with time to do the speed limit. - Jason Love

I will never forget my actions. They will haunt me for the rest of my life. None of it will happen again. - Garth Drabinsky

Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives. - Sue Murphy

Never forget the three powerful resources you always have available to you: love, prayer, and forgiveness. - H Jackson Brown, Jr.

Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. - Abe Lemons

It's been a tough week. I bought myself a memory foam mattress and now it's trying to blackmail me. - Gary Delaney

If all the young ladies who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, no one would be the least surprised. - Dorothy Parker

I'll never forget my first fur. It was a modest little stole. Modest? People thought I was wearing anchovies. - Phyllis Diller

A dark-chocolate truffle melts in my mouth, and I forget about everything else... even the fact that I'm on a diet. - Barbara Brooke

I cannot but bless the memory of Julius Caesar, for the great esteem he expressed for fat men; and his aversion to lean ones. - David Hume

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down. - George Burns

Want balance in your life? Then get your own act together, but don't forget powerful disciplines of execution in your team and organization. - Stephen Covey


see also   Aging  &  Stress   Sections
Camping For Seniors
Dementia Relations
Dreams Come True
Good Morning Babushka
Grandma Not Welcome
Grandma’s Beautiful Pies
Grandma Was Here
Granny Does Windows Too

 

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28-Jun-2022