Got Any Gwapes?

Ask the bartender just one more time


A little duck walks into a bar one day. He saunters up to the bartender and asks, “Got any gwapes?

“Nope, sorry,” says the bartender. The duck walks out, disappointed.

The next day, the duck walks into the bar again and asks, “Got any gwapes?”

“I already told you, no, I don’t!” says the bartender angrily. The duck leaves, again disappointed.

The day after that, the duck walks in again and says, “Got any gwapes?”

“No! I do not have any grapes! If you come in here one more time asking for grapes I’ll nail your feet to the floor!”

The next day, the duck waddles into the bar. The bartender eyes him suspiciously. “Got any nails?” the duck asks.

“No, why?” the bartender asks.

“Got any gwapes?”


QuotaBills
Goose Pimples: Duck acne - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King

Adventure is the champagne of life. - G K Chesterton

When the wine is in, the wit is out. - English Proverb

Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker. - Ogden Nash

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

I'm Hybrid. I run on chocolate and wine. - Unknown

Compromises are for relationships, not wine. - Robert S Caywood

Good friends, like wine, get better with age. - Unknown

Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown

Beer: The method of turning grain into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Wine is the most civilized thing in the world. - Ernest Hemingway

When life hands you lemons, make whiskey sours. - WC Fields

Talking to you is like casting pearls into wine. - Archie Bunker

Everything's better with bacon and red wine. - Dianne Harman

I should never have switched from Scotch to martinis. - Humphrey Bogart

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate. - Andrea Hurst

Some call it Cocktail Hour. To me, it's a support group. - Unknown

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw

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I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

The sweetest grapes are picked from the vineyard of friendship. - French Proverb

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Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

We are all mortal until the first kiss and the second glass of wine. - Eduardo Galeano

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

Not the cry, but the flight of a wild duck, leads the flock to fly and follow. - Chinese Proverb

One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts. - Samuel Johnson

Kidney: 1. Midpoint of a child's leg; 2. An organ used to convert beer into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'll bring ya a bottle of champagne. Maybe I'll even bring home a whole maggot. - Archie Bunker

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks. - George Burns

Measure thy life by loss instead of gain, not by the wine drunk, but the wine poured forth. - Harriet King

One only needs two tools in life: WD-40 to make things go, and duck tape to make them stop. - G.M. Weilacher

I'm like old wine. They don't bring me out very often - but I'm well preserved. - Rose Kennedy

I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs. - Robert Downey Jr.

They don't make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery. - Bill Murray

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. - Hunter S Thompson

If you have to choose between drinking wine every day or being skinny, which would you choose: Red or White? - Unknown

I walk like a duck: very straight up and down. Or like a penguin. It's a dead giveaway that I'm a dancer. - David Hallberg

There is more refreshment and stimulation in a nap, even of the briefest, than in all the alcohol ever distilled. - Ovid

Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw

You pretty much can't get away from bacon or whiskey in the South. Put a doughnut in it and you'd be good to go. - Hillary Scott

Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary. However, I looked it up on whiskeypedia and learned if you drink too much of it, it's likely tequilya. - Unknown

The simple act of opening a bottle of wine has brought more happiness to the human race than all the collective governments in the history of earth. - Jim Harrison


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30-Jun-2022