Hot Coffee

Spilling the beans in the office

Coffee with special added flavour


A young clerk’s responsibilities included bringing the judge a hot cup of coffee at the start of every day. Each morning the judge was enraged that the coffee cup arrived two-thirds full. The clerk explained that he had to rush to get the coffee delivered while it was still hot, which caused him to spill much of it along the way.

None of the judge’s yelling and insults produced a full cup of coffee, until he finally threatened to cut the clerk’s pay by one-third if he continued to produce one-third less than the judge wanted.

The next morning he was greeted with a cup of coffee that was full to the brim, and the next morning and the morning after that.

The judge couldn’t resist gloating over his success and smugly complimented the clerk on his new technique.

“Oh, there’s not much to it,” admitted the clerk happily, “I take some coffee in my mouth right outside the coffee room, and spit it back in when I get outside your office.”


QuotaBills
Lawyers are merchants of misery. - Nancy Levit

A lawsuit helps keep lawyers clothed. - Unknown

The good lawyer is the great salesman. - Janet Reno

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks? - Steven Wright

The good of the people is the chief law. - Cicero

Compromise is the best and cheapest lawyer. - Robert Louis Stevenson

To live outside the law, you must be honest. - Bob Dylan

A government of law is a government of lawyers. - Saying

We are never to judge a philosophy by its abuse. - Augustine

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

I think if I were a woman I'd wear coffee as a perfume. - John Van Druten

What a cage is to the wild beast, law is to the selfish man. - Herbert Spencer

Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law. - Hubert Humphrey

A lawyer's opinion is worth nothing unless it is paid for. - Unknown

Behind every successful woman is a substantial amount of coffee. - Stephanie Piro

Lawyers are like rabbits. They have a nasty habit of multiplying. - Leo Reilly

Books should be tried by a judge and jury as though they were crimes. - Samuel Butler

What would life be without coffee? But then, what is it even with coffee? - King Louis XV

I don't want to know what the law is, I want to know who the judge is. - Roy M. Cohn

Law school is the opposite of sex. Even when it's good it's lousy. - Unknown

I never drink coffee at lunch - I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon. - Ronald Reagan

The only stable state is the one in which all men are equal before the law. - Aristotle

You cannot live without lawyers, and certainly you cannot die without them. - Joseph H Choate

The Second Law of Pies: they must be baked, not fried (or boiled, or steamed). - Janet Clarkson

Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce

I think fish is nice, but then I think that rain is wet, so who am I to judge? - Douglas Adams

A lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth. - Patrick Murray

Nobody has a more sacred obligation to obey the law than those who make the law. - Sophocles

People who use lawyers are not people you would really want to hang around with. - Deborah Ross

If a law is unjust, a man is not only right to disobey, he is obligated to do so. - Thomas Jefferson

Lawyers are operators of toll bridges which anyone in search of justice must pass. - Jane Bryant Quinn

On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse. - Milton Berle

Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after. - Anne Morrow Lindbergh

To make laws that man cannot, and will not obey, serves to bring all law into contempt. - Elizabeth C Stanton

It is the trade of lawyers to question everything, yield nothing, and talk by the hour. - Thomas Jefferson

If a man dies and leaves his estate in an uncertain condition, the lawyers become his heirs. - Edgar Watson Howe

Lawyers get you out'n the kind of trouble you'd never get in if there was no lawyers. - Ken Alstad

If two friends ask you to judge a dispute, don't accept, because you will lose one friend. - St. Augustine

Zymurgy’s Law of Volunteer Labour: People are always available for work in the past tense - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Lawyers are the only civil delinquents whose judges must of necessity be chosen from themselves. - Charles C Colton

The law was made for one thing alone - for the exploitation of those who don't understand it. - Bertoit Brecht

Put least trust in him who is foremost to praise you,
Nor judge of a road till it draw to the end. - John B O'Reilly

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

There is never a deed so foul that something couldn't be said for the guy; that's why there are lawyers. - Melvin Belli

Whenever men take the law into their own hands, the loser is the law. And when the law loses, freedom languishes. - Robert Kennedy

The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up by a lawyer. - Will Rogers

Lawyers were notorious for finding cases in the most unlikely places, especially ones with huge potential damage awards. - Jodi Picoult

Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp

A nation that is afraid to let its people judge the truth and falsehood in an open market is a nation that is afraid of its people. - John F Kennedy

There must be some honest lawyers at the New York bar, and some impartial judges on the New York bench, but I should not like to be set to find them. - Lyman Abbott


see also   Coffee  &  Judge  Sections
Justice Is Blind
Legal Assistance For All

 

Dream The Impossible

When Life Gets You Down

Redneck Estate Sale

How To Tweet Others

Nutella Soother

Autumn Camouflage

Go Play Outside

Be Someone

Arkansas Divorce Application

Three Finger Carrot

Braided Horse Tail

Owl Glove

Far North Cable Guys

Openish Hours

Lead Sled Dog

Pet Food Tester

Gold Bar Carrot Cake

Looking For A Mate

Food For Thought

Kanye Twitty
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

24-Oct-2021