A young clerk’s responsibilities included bringing the judge a hot cup of coffee at the start of every day. Each morning the judge was enraged that the coffee cup arrived two-thirds full. The clerk explained that he had to rush to get the coffee delivered while it was still hot, which caused him to spill much of it along the way.
None of the judge’s yelling and insults produced a full cup of coffee, until he finally threatened to cut the clerk’s pay by one-third if he continued to produce one-third less than the judge wanted.
The next morning he was greeted with a cup of coffee that was full to the brim, and the next morning and the morning after that.
The judge couldn’t resist gloating over his success and smugly complimented the clerk on his new technique.
“Oh, there’s not much to it,” admitted the clerk happily, “I take some coffee in my mouth right outside the coffee room, and spit it back in when I get outside your office.”
The law itself follows gold. - Propertius
Lawyers are merchants of misery. - Nancy Levit
Position is nine-tenths of the law. - Archie Bunker
A lawsuit helps keep lawyers clothed. - Unknown
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks? - Steven Wright
Don't judge folks by their relatives. - Unknown
In law, nothing is certain but the expense. - Samuel Butler
Compromise is the best and cheapest lawyer. - Robert Louis Stevenson
To live outside the law, you must be honest. - Bob Dylan
Gravity isn't easy, but it's the law. - Unknown
Lawyers are fleas on the hide of human nature. - Stephen King
Lawyers are ideological enemies of informal justice. - Richard L Abel
The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers. - William Shakespeare
Talk is cheap until you hire a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe Defries
It is only shallow people who do not judge by appearances. - Oscar Wilde
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems. - Paul Erdos
A lawyer's opinion is worth nothing unless it is paid for. - Unknown
A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin
I think we may class the lawyer in the natural history of monsters. - John Keats
A lawyer is an odd sort of fish, first rotten, then green, then ripe. - Robert Christy
The United States is the greatest law factory the world has ever known. - Charles E Hughes
Be kind to your mother-in-law but pay for her board at some good hotel. - Josh Billings
What would life be without coffee? But then, what is it even with coffee? - King Louis XV
The wisest man is the silent one. Examine his actions. Judge him by them. - Karen M Moning
Law school is the opposite of sex. Even when it's good it's lousy. - Unknown
The first and fundamental law of nature is to seek out peace and follow it. - Thomas Hobbes
You cannot live without lawyers, and certainly you cannot die without them. - Joseph H Choate
Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant. - Robert Louis Stevenson
I know that this defies the law of gravity, but, you see, I never studied law. - Bugs Bunny
How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? How many can you afford? - Blanche Knott
Nobody has a more sacred obligation to obey the law than those who make the law. - Sophocles
If a law is unjust, a man is not only right to disobey, he is obligated to do so. - Thomas Jefferson
Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after. - Anne Morrow Lindbergh
Stock Split: When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
If a man dies and leaves his estate in an uncertain condition, the lawyers become his heirs. - Edgar Watson Howe
If this is coffee, please bring me some tea. But if this is tea, please bring me some coffee. - Abraham Lincoln
If the laws could speak for themselves, they would complain of the lawyers in the first place. - George Savile
A mother's love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity. - Agatha Christie
The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges. - Anatole France
You are the one who calls the law of attraction into action, and you do it through your thoughts. - Rhonda Byrne
We lawyers learn to study the faces of our witnesses, to form quick judgments, and to act upon them. - Lyman Abbott
Beware of lawyers and consultants and people who do not take risks and who do not get their hands dirty. - Felix G Rohatyn
The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up by a lawyer. - Will Rogers
When the law no longer protects you from the corrupt, but protects the corrupt from you, you know your nation is doomed. - Ayn Rand
When the monetary damages are smaller, lawyers will find themselves less zealous in their pursuit of what they call justice. - Dean O'Hare
Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe
It is the business of a lawyer to find a hole to creep out of any law that is in his way; and if there is no hole, to make one. - W Ouseley
Lawyers are like cheeses. There are lots of good ones, but not everybody likes the taste of some or can afford the best of others. - Robin Ellison
One has not only a legal, but a moral responsibility to obey just laws. Conversely, one has a moral responsibility to disobey unjust laws. - Martin Luther King, Jr
The Post Office just recalled their newest stamps. They had a picture of lawyers on them, and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on. - Marvin Lebman
Lawyers are merchants of misery. - Nancy Levit
Position is nine-tenths of the law. - Archie Bunker
A lawsuit helps keep lawyers clothed. - Unknown
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks? - Steven Wright
Don't judge folks by their relatives. - Unknown
In law, nothing is certain but the expense. - Samuel Butler
Compromise is the best and cheapest lawyer. - Robert Louis Stevenson
To live outside the law, you must be honest. - Bob Dylan
Gravity isn't easy, but it's the law. - Unknown
Lawyers are fleas on the hide of human nature. - Stephen King
Lawyers are ideological enemies of informal justice. - Richard L Abel
The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers. - William Shakespeare
Talk is cheap until you hire a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe Defries
It is only shallow people who do not judge by appearances. - Oscar Wilde
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems. - Paul Erdos
A lawyer's opinion is worth nothing unless it is paid for. - Unknown
A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin
I think we may class the lawyer in the natural history of monsters. - John Keats
A lawyer is an odd sort of fish, first rotten, then green, then ripe. - Robert Christy
The United States is the greatest law factory the world has ever known. - Charles E Hughes
Be kind to your mother-in-law but pay for her board at some good hotel. - Josh Billings
What would life be without coffee? But then, what is it even with coffee? - King Louis XV
The wisest man is the silent one. Examine his actions. Judge him by them. - Karen M Moning
Law school is the opposite of sex. Even when it's good it's lousy. - Unknown
The first and fundamental law of nature is to seek out peace and follow it. - Thomas Hobbes
You cannot live without lawyers, and certainly you cannot die without them. - Joseph H Choate
Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant. - Robert Louis Stevenson
I know that this defies the law of gravity, but, you see, I never studied law. - Bugs Bunny
How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? How many can you afford? - Blanche Knott
Nobody has a more sacred obligation to obey the law than those who make the law. - Sophocles
If a law is unjust, a man is not only right to disobey, he is obligated to do so. - Thomas Jefferson
Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after. - Anne Morrow Lindbergh
Stock Split: When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
If a man dies and leaves his estate in an uncertain condition, the lawyers become his heirs. - Edgar Watson Howe
If this is coffee, please bring me some tea. But if this is tea, please bring me some coffee. - Abraham Lincoln
If the laws could speak for themselves, they would complain of the lawyers in the first place. - George Savile
A mother's love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity. - Agatha Christie
The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges. - Anatole France
You are the one who calls the law of attraction into action, and you do it through your thoughts. - Rhonda Byrne
We lawyers learn to study the faces of our witnesses, to form quick judgments, and to act upon them. - Lyman Abbott
Beware of lawyers and consultants and people who do not take risks and who do not get their hands dirty. - Felix G Rohatyn
The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up by a lawyer. - Will Rogers
When the law no longer protects you from the corrupt, but protects the corrupt from you, you know your nation is doomed. - Ayn Rand
When the monetary damages are smaller, lawyers will find themselves less zealous in their pursuit of what they call justice. - Dean O'Hare
Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe
It is the business of a lawyer to find a hole to creep out of any law that is in his way; and if there is no hole, to make one. - W Ouseley
Lawyers are like cheeses. There are lots of good ones, but not everybody likes the taste of some or can afford the best of others. - Robin Ellison
One has not only a legal, but a moral responsibility to obey just laws. Conversely, one has a moral responsibility to disobey unjust laws. - Martin Luther King, Jr
The Post Office just recalled their newest stamps. They had a picture of lawyers on them, and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on. - Marvin Lebman
see also Coffee & Judge Sections
Justice Is Blind
Legal Assistance For All
 Ear Chip |  Sleep With Us |  Puppy Taco |  Fresh Air Computing |  Koalified |
 How Much Time Left |  Expandable Equation |  Devoted Husband |  Statue of Libertea |  Beaver Stretching |
 Social Media Explained |  Famous Equations |  Ain't Mowing the Lawn Anymore |  Crocpox |  Deer Me! |
 Inverted Helicopter |  Water Hat |  NASCAR Fan - Diehard Category |  Busted |  Build It - They Will Come |
29-May-2022 |