Hot Coffee

Spilling the beans in the office

Coffee with special added flavour


A young clerk’s responsibilities included bringing the judge a hot cup of coffee at the start of every day. Each morning the judge was enraged that the coffee cup arrived two-thirds full. The clerk explained that he had to rush to get the coffee delivered while it was still hot, which caused him to spill much of it along the way.

None of the judge’s yelling and insults produced a full cup of coffee, until he finally threatened to cut the clerk’s pay by one-third if he continued to produce one-third less than the judge wanted.

The next morning he was greeted with a cup of coffee that was full to the brim, and the next morning and the morning after that.

The judge couldn’t resist gloating over his success and smugly complimented the clerk on his new technique.

“Oh, there’s not much to it,” admitted the clerk happily, “I take some coffee in my mouth right outside the coffee room, and spit it back in when I get outside your office.”


QuotaBills
The law itself follows gold. - Propertius

The law is silent during war. - Cicero

Agree, for the law is costly. - William Camden

A good lawyer is a bad neighbor. - French Proverb

Lawyers are natural politicians. - Clarence Darrow

Don't judge a cat by its coat. - Magdalena VandenBerg

The good lawyer is the great salesman. - Janet Reno

Don't judge your taco by its price. - Hunter S. Thompson

Compromise is the best and cheapest lawyer. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Coffee,chocolate, men. The richer the better! - Unknown

Lawyers are fleas on the hide of human nature. - Stephen King

I'm trusting in the Lord and a good lawyer. - Oliver North

Lawyers are the foot soldiers of our Constitution. - Rennard Strickland

Talk is cheap until you hire a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe Defries

It is an ill cause that the lawyer thinks shame o'. - John Ray

Life without books, chocolate and coffee is just useless. - Nadun Lokuliyanage

Ambition is like hunger; it obeys no law but its appetite. - H.W. Shaw

A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers. - H L Mencken

I can have peace of mind only when I forgive rather than judge. - Gerald Jampolsky

How many lawyer jokes are there? One, the rest are true stories. - Thomas F Shubnell

Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law. - Boethius

There is no grievance that is a fit object of redress by mob law. - Abraham Lincoln

Tragedy: a busload of lawyers going over a cliff with an empty seat. - Unknown

The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother. - WC Fields

The Second Law of Pies: they must be baked, not fried (or boiled, or steamed). - Janet Clarkson

The duty of a judge is to administer justice, but his practice is to delay it. - Jean de la Bruyere

I think fish is nice, but then I think that rain is wet, so who am I to judge? - Douglas Adams

Nobody has a more sacred obligation to obey the law than those who make the law. - Sophocles

It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands. - Spanish Proverb

My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind. - Les Dawson

Mob law does not become due process of law by securing the assent of a terrorized jury. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

Lawyers are like the knights of old. You can use them to plunder other people's stuff. - Gene Gordon

If a man dies and leaves his estate in an uncertain condition, the lawyers become his heirs. - Edgar Watson Howe

The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges. - Anatole France

You are the one who calls the law of attraction into action, and you do it through your thoughts. - Rhonda Byrne

Don't talk to me until I've had my coffee, and then after that still don't talk to me. - Unknown

Put least trust in him who is foremost to praise you,
Nor judge of a road till it draw to the end. - John B O'Reilly

Do not mind anything that anyone tells you about anyone else. Judge everyone and everything for yourself. - Henry James

People are getting smarter nowadays; they are letting lawyers, instead of their conscience, be their guide. - Will Rogers

The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up by a lawyer. - Will Rogers

When the law no longer protects you from the corrupt, but protects the corrupt from you, you know your nation is doomed. - Ayn Rand

How lawyers make work for one another! You're all priests, worshipping the same god. No wonder you adore one another. - Joyce Carol Oates

If you want to kill an idea without being identified as the assassin, suggest that the legal department take a look at it. - Scott Adams

When the monetary damages are smaller, lawyers will find themselves less zealous in their pursuit of what they call justice. - Dean O'Hare

The question arises: whether all lawyers are the same. This is like asking whether everything that gets into a sewer is garbage. - Florynce R Kennedy

While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously. - Tim Allen

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller

The Post Office just recalled their newest stamps. They had a picture of lawyers on them, and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on. - Marvin Lebman

When you have police officers who abuse citizens, you erode public confidence in law enforcement. That makes the job of good police officers unsafe. - Mary F Berry

Blind dates are treacherous. You don't know who this person is. You wonder, "Should I call my grandma during coffee to get out of this?" - Alan Alda


see also   Coffee  &  Judge  Sections
Justice Is Blind
Legal Assistance For All

 

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14-Apr-2021