It’s great to
be a Man - Because:
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be president.
You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
Same work... more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
You don’t have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
People never glance at your chest when you’re talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: “So, notice anything different?”
One mood, ALL the damn time.
And don’t forget...... Phone Conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You can go to a public toilet without a support group.
You can leave the motel bed unmade.
You can kill your own food.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.
If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
You never feel the need to wash your underwear out simply because they are slightly soiled. Just throw them in the dirty clothes with everything else.
You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger’s seat.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You don’t have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming.
You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking: “He must be mad at me.”
No maxi-pads.
You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.
You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You don’t have to shave below your neck.
One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
You can “do” your nails with a pocketknife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.
Hot Chocolate: Stolen candy - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
To stop aging, keep on raging. - Michael Forbes
Old age is the verdict of life. - Amelia E Barr
Old age is no place for sissies. - Bette Davis
I'm a woman who wants her chocolate. - Jessica Simpson
Old age is always 15 years older than I am. - Bernard Baruch
When coffee dreams, it dreams of chocolate. - Unknown
I'm Hybrid. I run on chocolate and wine. - Unknown
Old age is like underwear, it creeps up on you. - Unknown
We have chocolate in common - that's enough. - Rachel Hollis
If it's not chocolate, it's not breakfast. - Laini Taylor
I'm not overweight, I'm chocolate enriched. - Unknown
I know I can't cheat death, but I can cheat old age. - Darwin Deason
One of the many pleasures of old age is giving things up. - Malcolm Muggeridge
Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life. - Daniel F E Auber
When we don't have the words, chocolate can speak volumes. - Joan Bauer
Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up. - John Wagner
Venice is like eating an entire box of chocolate liqueurs in one go. - Truman Capote
Forget aging. If you're six feet above ground, it's a good day. - Faith Hill
All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt. - Charles M. Schulz
A nice creamy chocolate cake does a lot for a lot of people; it does for me. - Audrey Hepburn
We look forward to a disorderly, vigorous, unhonored and disreputable old age. - Don Marquis
The 12-step chocolate program: Never be more than 12 steps away from chocolate! - Terry Moore
Advanced old age is when you sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going. - Eliakim Katz
W.C. Fields has a profound respect for old age. Especially when it's bottled. - Gene Fowler
Children are a great comfort in your old age, and they help you reach it faster, too. - Lionel Kauffman
We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. - Will Rogers
Money can't buy happiness. But, it can buy a chocolate, which is pretty much the same thing. - Hanako Ishii
When grace is joined with wrinkles, it is adorable. There is an unspeakable dawn in happy old age. - Victor Hugo
Chocolate symbolizes, as does no other food, luxury, comfort, sensuality, gratification, and love. - Karl Petzke
I'm learning in my old age that the only thing you can do to keep your sanity is to stay in the moment. - Willem Dafoe
You can't reach old age by another man's road. My habits protect my life but they would assassinate you. - Mark Twain
Dear Diamond,
We all know who is really a girl's best friend.
Yours sincerely,
Chocolate Cake - Unknown
I'm grateful that I never was that senior athlete who realized she'd done nothing but train all her life. - Clara Hughes
One should never make one's debut in a scandal. One should reserve that to give interest to one's old age. - Oscar Wilde
Put 'eat chocolate' at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done. - Unknown
You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon
Not one of them who took up in his youth with his opinion that there are no gods ever continued until old age faithful to his conviction. - Plato
Aging: 1. A supposed ripening into wisdom that most Westerners attempt to delay as long as possible; 2. A one-way street with no stoplights. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
see also Aging, History & Trivia Sections
2 Carrot Ring
Bluenecks: Revenge of the Rednecks
Redneck Chandelier
Redneck Electric Pool
Redneck Estate Sale
Redneck Spaghetti
Redneck Swing Tree
Redneck Tractor
Redneck Tree Fort
Redneck Water Taps
Redneck Whirlpool
A Woman’s Mind
Arkansas Divorce Application
Before The Impact
Communication Divorce
Divorce Cakes
Divorce Defined
Divorce Is Grand
Emotion Stew
Everything Men Know About Women
Fence Nails
Fliptus
Hormone Guide
Just Divorced
Keyboard Wedding
Men To The Left
My Ex-Wife, The Pilot
Obedient Wife
OCD Ball Pit
OCD Electrician
Old Divorce
Perfect Divorce
Polish Divorce
Redneck Divorce
Texas Divorce
The Origin of the White Wedding Dress
Understanding Women
Walker Buddies
Wedding Cake for the Submissive Husband
What Did You Just Say?
Winning An Argument With A Woman
World Peas
 Tired Flagpole |  Bent Car Sculpture |  Cow Jacket |  Thanks For Noticing |  Overflow Truck Garden |
 Beach Sign Training |  Encouraging Seal |  GMC Pool |  Nature Calls |  You're Home Early |
 New Nail Gun |  Long Noodles |  EMS Upgrade |  No Pot Of Gold |  Graduation Swag |
 Monkeypox |  Pre-Dinner Photography |  Curses, Foiled Again |  Ant Virus |  Sidewalk Malt Melt |
24-May-2022 |