Manpower

Why it's great to be a man


It’s great to be a Man - Because:

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be president.

You can wear a white shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

Same work... more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

You don’t have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.

Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.

People never glance at your chest when you’re talking to them.

The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: “So, notice anything different?”

One mood, ALL the damn time.

And don’t forget...... Phone Conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

You can go to a public toilet without a support group.

You can leave the motel bed unmade.

You can kill your own food.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.

If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.

You never feel the need to wash your underwear out simply because they are slightly soiled. Just throw them in the dirty clothes with everything else.

You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger’s seat.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You don’t have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming.

You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking: “He must be mad at me.”

No maxi-pads.

You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.

If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.

You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.

You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

You almost never have strap problems in public.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

You don’t have to shave below your neck.

One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.

You can “do” your nails with a pocketknife.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.




QuotaBills
Chocolate cake is the bomb! - Scarlett Pomers

Old age comes at a bad time. - Sue Banducci

To stop aging, keep on raging. - Michael Forbes

Cherish youth, but trust old age. - Pueblo Proverb

It's never too late for chocolate. - Unknown

I'm a woman who wants her chocolate. - Jessica Simpson

I hope your only rocky road is chocolate. - Amanda Mosher

Old age is always 15 years older than I am. - Bernard Baruch

Coffee,chocolate, men. The richer the better! - Unknown

Behind every good woman is a lot of chocolate. - Unknown

We have chocolate in common - that's enough. - Rachel Hollis

When no one understands you, chocolate is there. - Daniel Worona

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

Sometimes a girl's gotta have some chocolate. - Carrie Underwood

I'd give up chocolate but I'm not a quitter. - Unknown

To me, chocolate was the sole reason we on this earth. - Esi Edugyan

I know I can't cheat death, but I can cheat old age. - Darwin Deason

If there's no chocolate in Heaven, I'm not going. - Jane Seabrook

Fourty is the old age of youth; 50 is the youth of old age. - Victor Hugo

Never have I enjoyed youth so thoroughly as I have in my old age. - George Santayana

Old age is the most unexpected of all things that happen to a man. - Leon Trotsky

Nine out of ten people like chocolate. The tenth person always lies. - Unknown

Old age at least gives me an excuse for not being very good at things. - Thomas Sowell

There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate. - Linda Grayson

Chocolate makes otherwise normal people melt into strange states of ecstasy. - John West

A nice creamy chocolate cake does a lot for a lot of people; it does for me. - Audrey Hepburn

I will never be an old man. To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am. - Francis Bacon

Advanced old age is when you sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going. - Eliakim Katz

Youth is the time of getting, middle age of improving, and old age of spending. - Anne Bradstreet

Chocolate symbolizes, as does no other food, luxury, comfort, sensuality, gratification, and love. - Karl Petzke

To keep the heart unwrinkled, to be hopeful, kindly, cheerful, reverent - that is to triumph over old age. - Thomas Bailey Aldrich

When it comes to old age we're all in the same boat, only some of us have been aboard a little longer. - Leo Probst

Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read. - George Burns

You can't reach old age by another man's road. My habits protect my life but they would assassinate you. - Mark Twain

One should never make one's debut in a scandal. One should reserve that to give interest to one's old age. - Oscar Wilde

Remember the days when you let your child have some chocolate if he finished his cereal? Now, chocolate is one of the cereals. - Robert Orben

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon

Whenever I have a spare second, I'm in the kitchen whipping up a batch of cookies. I make a mean batch of chocolate chippers. - Karlie Kloss

My greatest strength is common sense. I'm really a standard brand - like Campbell's tomato soup or Baker's chocolate. - Katharine Hepburn

In the absence of clearly-defined goals, we become strangely loyal to performing daily trivia until ultimately we become enslaved by it. - Robert Heinlein


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2 Carrot Ring
Bluenecks: Revenge of the Rednecks
Redneck Chandelier
Redneck Electric Pool
Redneck Estate Sale
Redneck Spaghetti
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Redneck Whirlpool

A Woman’s Mind
Arkansas Divorce Application
Before The Impact
Communication Divorce
Divorce Cakes
Divorce Defined
Divorce Is Grand
Emotion Stew
Everything Men Know About Women
Fence Nails
Fliptus
Hormone Guide
Just Divorced
Keyboard Wedding
Men To The Left
My Ex-Wife, The Pilot
Obedient Wife
OCD Ball Pit
OCD Electrician
Old Divorce
Perfect Divorce
Polish Divorce
Redneck Divorce
Texas Divorce
The Origin of the White Wedding Dress
Understanding Women
Walker Buddies
Wedding Cake for the Submissive Husband
What Did You Just Say?
Winning An Argument With A Woman
World Peas

 

Restaurant Wait-er

How Much Is That Doggie In The Window?

Butterfly Lens

Pentecost Sunday

Pike Mouth Nest

Improvise, Adapt, Overcome

Flower Lips

Bird Walker

Never Go Full Retard

Multi-Pilot Jet

Teethbrushes

Dinner Preparation: Here's looking at you!

Picture Perfect

Same Mistake Twice

How To Build A Fence

Horse-Back Riding

Social Distancing Fine

Burnout Indication

Lost Luggage

A Balanced Diet
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30-May-2020