It’s great to
be a Man - Because:
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be president.
You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
Same work... more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
You don’t have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
People never glance at your chest when you’re talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: “So, notice anything different?”
One mood, ALL the damn time.
And don’t forget...... Phone Conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You can go to a public toilet without a support group.
You can leave the motel bed unmade.
You can kill your own food.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.
If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
You never feel the need to wash your underwear out simply because they are slightly soiled. Just throw them in the dirty clothes with everything else.
You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger’s seat.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You don’t have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming.
You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking: “He must be mad at me.”
You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.
You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You don’t have to shave below your neck.
One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
You can “do” your nails with a pocketknife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.
Chocolate never faileth. - Annette Lyon
Chocolate cake is the bomb! - Scarlett Pomers
Old age is a wonderful disguise. - Katherine Applegate
Books and chocolate make life bearable. - Unknown
I'm a woman who wants her chocolate. - Jessica Simpson
Chocolate is what I love. I have it every day. - Jennifer Hudson
Behind every good woman is a lot of chocolate. - Unknown
I've never met a chocolate I didn't like. - Unknown
I'm not overweight, I'm chocolate enriched. - Unknown
Weekend forecast: crafting with a chance of chocolate. - Unknown
Chocolate is nature's way of making up for Mondays. - Unknown
To chocolate or not to chocolate... is there any question? - Unknown
Fourty is the old age of youth; 50 is the youth of old age. - Victor Hugo
Never have I enjoyed youth so thoroughly as I have in my old age. - George Santayana
Chocolate is medicinal. I just did another study that confirms it. - Michelle M. Pillow
Venice is like eating an entire box of chocolate liqueurs in one go. - Truman Capote
Nine out of ten people like chocolate. The tenth person always lies. - Unknown
Chemically speaking, chocolate really is the world's perfect food. - Michael Levine
I only eat chocolate for you... so there'll be more of me to love! - Unknown
In Heaven, chocolate has no calories and is served as the main course. - Unknown
Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores
Forget aging. If you're six feet above ground, it's a good day. - Faith Hill
I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake. - Unknown
I need God's grace and something baked with peanut butter and chocolate. - Gloria Furman
Chocolate makes otherwise normal people melt into strange states of ecstasy. - John West
If you get melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly. - Unknown
Those who love deeply never grow old; they may die of old age, but they die young. - Dorothy Canfield Fisher
The greatest tragedies were written by the Greeks and Shakespeare... neither knew chocolate. - Sandra Boynton
Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard, there is nothing you can do. - Golda Meir
I do not think there is any silver bullet to solving the technology side of the security equation. - John W. Thompson
Reading a good book in silence is like eating chocolate for the rest of your life and never getting fat. - Becca Fitzpatrick
I'm learning in my old age that the only thing you can do to keep your sanity is to stay in the moment. - Willem Dafoe
Then she thought bitterly that it would be much easier to resist chocolate if her life were less stressful. - J K Rowling
You can't reach old age by another man's road. My habits protect my life but they would assassinate you. - Mark Twain
We all know who is really a girl's best friend.
Chocolate Cake - Unknown
Drop the last year into the silent limbo of the past. Let it go, for it was imperfect, and thank God that it can go. - Brooks Atkinson
Remember the days when you let your child have some chocolate if he finished his cereal? Now, chocolate is one of the cereals. - Robert Orben
Whenever I have a spare second, I'm in the kitchen whipping up a batch of cookies. I make a mean batch of chocolate chippers. - Karlie Kloss
In the absence of clearly-defined goals, we become strangely loyal to performing daily trivia until ultimately we become enslaved by it. - Robert Heinlein
Old age has a great sense of calm and freedom. When the passions have relaxed their hold you have escaped, not from one master, but from many. - Plato
Aging, History & Trivia Sections
2 Carrot Ring
Bluenecks: Revenge of the Rednecks
Redneck Electric Pool
Redneck Estate Sale
Redneck Swing Tree
Redneck Tree Fort
Redneck Water Taps
A Woman’s Mind
Arkansas Divorce Application
Before The Impact
Divorce Is Grand
Everything Men Know About Women
Men To The Left
My Ex-Wife, The Pilot
OCD Ball Pit
The Origin of the White Wedding Dress
Wedding Cake for the Submissive Husband
What Did You Just Say?
Winning An Argument With A Woman
How It's Done
Daily Rain Gauge
Do Not Touch Sign
Giant Step For Mankind
On This Site in 1897
Ship Shipping Ships
The Power Of Faith
Jesus Was Here
Palm Sunday Social Distancing Service
Pine Trees Know When It's Easter
Beware Of Who Is Watching Over Your Church
Kick Out Boxing
Patience and Wisdom