A farmer wanted to have his hens serviced, so he went to the market looking for a rooster. He was hoping he could get a special rooster - one that could service all of his many hens and when he told this to the market vendor, the vendor replied, “I have just the rooster for you. Randy here is the horniest rooster you will ever see!”
So the farmer took Randy back to the farm. Before setting him loose in the henhouse though, he gave Randy a
little pep talk. “Randy,” he said, “I’m counting on you to do your stuff.” And without a word, he strutted into the henhouse.
Randy was as fast as he was furious, mounting each hen like a thunderbolt. There was much squawking and many feathers flying, till Randy had finished having his way with each hen. But Randy didn’t stop there; he went in to the barn and mounted all the horses, one by one and still at the same frantic pace.
Then he went to the pigpen, where he did the same. The farmer, watching all of this with disbelief, cried out, “Stop, Randy, you’ll kill yourself!” But Randy continued, seeking out each farm animal in the same manner. Well the next morning, the farmer looked out and saw Randy lying there on his lawn. His legs were up in the air, his eyes rolled back, and his long tongue hanging out. A buzzard was already circling above Randy.
The farmer walked up to Randy saying, “Oh you poor thing, look what you did, you’ve gone and killed yourself. I warned you, little buddy.”
“Shhhhh,” Randy whispered, “The buzzard’s getting closer...”
Farmers are the salt of the earth. - Unknown
Let's make hay while it lasts. - James Lovelock
Deviled Eggs: What wicked chickens lay - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I'm too drunk to taste this chicken. - Colonel Sanders
Cursing the weather is never good farming. - English Proverb
The thicker the hay, the easier it is mowed. - Alaric the Goth
The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup. - Bob Hope
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse. - Groucho Marx
A good farm is recognized as good partly by its beauty. - Wendell Berry
Eating and reading are two pleasures that combine admirably. - C S Lewis
No farmer ever plowed a field by turning it over in his mind. - George E. Woodbury
Corn can't expect justice from a court composed of chickens. - African Proverb
Traveling through hyperspace ain't like dusting crops, farm boy. - Han Solo
If you want chicken soup, you've got to put a chicken in the pot. - Joe Segal
Work and pray, live on hay, you'll get pie in the sky when you die. - Joe Hill
The farmer allows walkers across the field for free, but the bull charges. - Unknown
We seem to want one vehicle to carry people and soccer balls and hay bales. - Franz von Holzhausen
A good farmer is nothing more nor less than a handyman with a sense of humus. - E.B. White
I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. - Gloria Steinem
I love my squirrel and dumplings, but you can make it with chicken and dumplings. - Kay Robertson
I am obsessed with Costco. I love the salmon and rotisserie chicken, the dog beds. - Kris Jenner
Anytime you suffer a setback or disappointment, put your head down and plow ahead. - Les Brown
Ask not for whom the bell tolls, and you will pay only the station-to-station rate. - Unknown
Farmers don't just work til the sun goes down; they work til the job gets done. - Unknown
Abundance: 1. Big party held in a bakery; 2. A social event held in a farm building. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Genetic Engineering: A recent attempt to formalize what farmers have been doing all along. - Unknown
The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it. - Ellen Glasgow
The first farmer was the first man, and all historic nobility rests on possession and use of land. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
If the rain spoils our picnic, but saves a farmer's crop, who are we to say it shouldn't rain? - Tom Barrett
When tillage begins, other arts follow. The farmers, therefore, are the founders of human civilization. - Daniel Webster
I'm going to the Colonel next. I'm gonna get a big bucket of chicken chests and smashed potatoes. - Archie Bunker
The attempt to combine wisdom and power has only rarely been successful, and then only for a short while. - Albert Einstein
I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Any processed chicken from any place - I'll order it in a heartbeat. I'm very picky about my pork, though. - David Chang
Poverty is an anomaly to rich people. It is very difficult to make out why people who want dinner do not ring the bell. - Walter Bagehot
When bad men combine, the good must associate; else they will fall one by one, an unpitied sacrifice in a contemptible struggle. - Edmund Burke
The difference between involvement and commitment is like an eggs and ham breakfast: the chicken was involved, the pig was committed. - Unknown
It's life, isn't it? You plow ahead and make a hit. And you plow on and someone passes you. Then someone passes them. Time levels. - Katharine Hepburn
What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin. - Dave Attell
see also Farm Section
Cat Nap
Chick Incubator
Family Reunion
Flamingo Imposter
Hen Pecked
Mom Lookout
Rooster Retirement
Super Hen
 Hide and Seek |  Hoodie Onesy |  Going Around In Circles |  Whiskey Jig |  Redneck Mercedes |
 Hala Fruit |  Hydro Water Power |  Selfie Shoes |  Tons Of Anarchy |  Science World |
 Da Hood Shirt |  What Do You See? - Part III |  ThaiTanic |  Aging Mermaid |  Get Along Shirt |
 Bruce Lee Coffee |  Dry Satellite |  Carving The Turkey |  Don't Break The Window |  Nike Coffin |
20-Oct-2020 |