Once Is Never Enough

Secret to servicing hens


A farmer wanted to have his hens serviced, so he went to the market looking for a rooster. He was hoping he could get a special rooster - one that could service all of his many hens and when he told this to the market vendor, the vendor replied, “I have just the rooster for you. Randy here is the horniest rooster you will ever see!”

So the farmer took Randy back to the farm. Before setting him loose in the henhouse though, he gave Randy a little pep talk. “Randy,” he said, “I’m counting on you to do your stuff.” And without a word, he strutted into the henhouse.

Randy was as fast as he was furious, mounting each hen like a thunderbolt. There was much squawking and many feathers flying, till Randy had finished having his way with each hen. But Randy didn’t stop there; he went in to the barn and mounted all the horses, one by one and still at the same frantic pace.

Then he went to the pigpen, where he did the same. The farmer, watching all of this with disbelief, cried out, “Stop, Randy, you’ll kill yourself!” But Randy continued, seeking out each farm animal in the same manner. Well the next morning, the farmer looked out and saw Randy lying there on his lawn. His legs were up in the air, his eyes rolled back, and his long tongue hanging out. A buzzard was already circling above Randy.

The farmer walked up to Randy saying, “Oh you poor thing, look what you did, you’ve gone and killed yourself. I warned you, little buddy.”

“Shhhhh,” Randy whispered, “The buzzard’s getting closer...”


QuotaBills
Organic Farm: Tilling like it is - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Farming is a profession of hope. - Brian Brett

Farmers are the salt of the earth. - Unknown

I'm too drunk to taste this chicken. - Colonel Sanders

I take my vacation on the combine and tractor. - Jon Tester

Life is simpler when you plow around the stump. - Unknown

Every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings. - It's a Wonderful Life

The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup. - Bob Hope

Do not count your chickens before they are hatched. - Aesop

A good farm is recognized as good partly by its beauty. - Wendell Berry

I had rather be on my farm than be emperor of the world. - George Washington

There's going to be a real ding-dong when the bell goes. - David Coleman

Eating and reading are two pleasures that combine admirably. - C S Lewis

Corn can't expect justice from a court composed of chickens. - African Proverb

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you didn't cook it! - Gordon Ramsay

Gentleman Farmer: One who has more hay in the bank thank in the barn - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The farmer allows walkers across the field for free, but the bull charges. - Unknown

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. - Gloria Steinem

We need more young people involved in farming because the future needs real food. - Helena Sylvester

Anytime you suffer a setback or disappointment, put your head down and plow ahead. - Les Brown

Ask not for whom the bell tolls, and you will pay only the station-to-station rate. - Unknown

My mother is no spring chicken although she has got as many chemicals in her as one. - Edna Everage

Abundance: 1. Big party held in a bakery; 2. A social event held in a farm building. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Don't let your dreams rust! Listen to your youthful bells ringing loud inside of you. - Bernard Kelvin Clive

If a farmer fills his barn with grain, he gets mice; if he leaves it empty, he gets actors. - Bill Vaughan

This momentous question, like a fire bell in the night, awakened and filled me with terror. - Thomas Jefferson

Of all sound of all bells... most solemn and touching is the peal which rings out the Old Year. - Charles Lamb

Cajun is country food by farmers and fisherman that arrived in Louisiana from Acadiana, Canada. - Paul Prudhomme

The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it. - Ellen Glasgow

The first farmer was the first man, and all historic nobility rests on possession and use of land. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The chicken probably came before the egg because it is hard to imagine God wanting to sit on an egg. - Unknown

True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked. - Erich Segal

When tillage begins, other arts follow. The farmers, therefore, are the founders of human civilization. - Daniel Webster

I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I'm a farm boy. If we need five people to haul in hay, we don't take one and just work them to death. - Lincoln Davis

Tension: 1. The price you pay for being a race horse instead of a plow horse; 2. What the sergeant shouts to his soldiers. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson

A rooster crows only when it sees the light. Put him in the dark and he'll never crow. I have seen the light and I'm crowing. - Muhammad Ali

The difference between involvement and commitment is like an eggs and ham breakfast: the chicken was involved, the pig was committed. - Unknown

Music embodies feeling without forcing it to contend and combine with thought, as it is forced in most arts and especially in the art of words. - Franz Liszt


see also   Farm  Section
Cat Nap
Chick Incubator
Family Reunion
Flamingo Imposter
Hen Pecked
Mom Lookout
Rooster Retirement
Super Hen

 

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24-May-2022