Pet Lobsters

Fishing without a license

After a day fishing in the ocean a fisherman is walking from the pier carrying two lobsters in a bucket. He is approached by the Game Warden who asks him for his fishing license.

The fisherman says to the warden, “I did not catch these lobsters, they are my pets. Every day I come down to the water and whistle, and these lobster jump out and I take them for a walk only to return them at the end of the day.”

The warden, not believing him, reminds him that it is illegal to fish without a license. The fisherman turns to the warden and says, “If you don’t believe me then watch,” as he throws the lobsters back into the water.

The warden says, “Now whistle to your lobsters and show me that they will come out of the water.”

The fisherman turns to the warden and says, “What lobsters?”


QuotaBills
I got bigger fish to fly - Archie Bunker

The world is your lobster! - Arthur Daley

Paraffins: Found on sides of fish - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

He fishes well who uses a golden hook. - Latin Proverb

Raw lobster tail, freeze dried, is amazing. - Nathan Myhrvold

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a net. - Cynthia Heimel

You know why fish are so thin? They eat fish. - Jerry Seinfeld

All cats love fish but fear to wet their paws. - Chinese Proverb

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. - Irina Dunn

Love is the net where hearts are caught like fish. - Muhammad Ali

Net Worth: Measurement of a fisherman's wealth - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Electric Eel: Fish that thrives in strong currents - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

One can think of life after the fish is in the canoe. - Hawaii Proverb

Retire to what? I already play golf and fish for a living. - Julius Boros

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain. - Mark Twain

It's okay to eat fish because they don't have any feelings. - Kurt Cobain

If you were to make little fishes talk, they would talk like whales. - Oliver Goldsmith

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. - George Carlin

A lawyer is an odd sort of fish, first rotten, then green, then ripe. - Robert Christy

Good fishing is just a matter of timing. You have to get there yesterday. - Milton Berle

A dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream. - WC Fields

Clement Attlee reminds me of a dead fish before it has had time to stiffen. - George Orwell

Any man who puts his intelligence up against a fish and loses had it coming. - John Steinbeck

Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting. - Dave Barry

Don't be a fish; be a frog. Swim in the water and jump when you hit ground. - Kim Young-ha

Let your hook be always cast. In the pool where you least expect it, will be fish. - Ovid

I'm so ugly I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how big I'd get. - Rodney Dangerfield

They laughed at Robert Fulton but without him, New York wouldn't have a fish market. - Archie Bunker

There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore looking like an idiot. - Steven Wright

Governing a large country is like frying a small fish. You spoil it with too much poking. - Lao-Tzu

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

The only reason I ever played golf in the first place was so I could afford to hunt and fish. - Sam Snead

Cajun is country food by farmers and fisherman that arrived in Louisiana from Acadiana, Canada. - Paul Prudhomme

Without my pets, my wallet would be full, my house would be clean, but my heart would be empty. - Unknown

The opposite for courage is not cowardice, it is conformity. Even a dead fish can go with the flow. - Jim Hightower

Of all the useless things a person can do, limerick writing is right up there with golf and fishing. - Garrison Keillor

When they see me holding fish, they can see that I am comfortable with kings as well as with paupers. - Imelda Marcos

If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles. - Doug Larson

It is our art that has an opportunity to leave a footprint in the sand. They don't wrap fish in our work. - Hugh N Jacobsen

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

Don't tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish. - Mark Twain

The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish that doesn't have eyeballs or fins. - Dave Barry

Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Unless he doesn't like sushi, then you also have to teach him to cook. - Auren Hoffman

Somebody just back of you while you are fishing is as bad as someone looking over your shoulder while you write a letter to your girl. - Ernest Hemingway

Only when the last tree has withered, and the last fish caught, and the last river been poisoned, will we realize we cannot eat money. - Cree Proverb

A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands. - George G. Byron

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it was stupid. - Albert Einstein

Memory is a net: one finds it full of fish when he takes it from the brook, but a dozen miles of water have run through it without sticking. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

When I get through tearing a lobster apart, or one of those tender West Coast octopuses, I feel like I had a drink from the fountain of youth. - Joseph Mitchell

This is the fear that made fish crawl out onto dry land and evolve lungs, the fear that teaches us to run, the fear that makes us bury our dead. - John Green


see also   Fishing  Section
Pet Fish
Pet Fish Chores

 

Hairy Potter

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Crosswalk Casualty

The Tree Is Up, Dear

One Too Many

Owl Garden

GhetToes

Statue Pose

Magnetic Personality

Giant Texas Red Centipede

Snow Barrier

Buddhist Tempull

Truck Lift Repair

In-Spired Safety Tip

Secruity Parking Spot
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

01-Dec-2020