Pet Lobsters

Fishing without a license

After a day fishing in the ocean a fisherman is walking from the pier carrying two lobsters in a bucket. He is approached by the Game Warden who asks him for his fishing license.

The fisherman says to the warden, “I did not catch these lobsters, they are my pets. Every day I come down to the water and whistle, and these lobster jump out and I take them for a walk only to return them at the end of the day.”

The warden, not believing him, reminds him that it is illegal to fish without a license. The fisherman turns to the warden and says, “If you don’t believe me then watch,” as he throws the lobsters back into the water.

The warden says, “Now whistle to your lobsters and show me that they will come out of the water.”

The fisherman turns to the warden and says, “What lobsters?”


QuotaBills
I got bigger fish to fly - Archie Bunker

The world is your lobster! - Arthur Daley

All men are equal before fish. - Herbert Hoover

Paraffins: Found on sides of fish - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Only dead fish swim with the stream. - Malcolm Muggeridge

He fishes well who uses a golden hook. - Latin Proverb

Raw lobster tail, freeze dried, is amazing. - Nathan Myhrvold

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. - Irina Dunn

Love is the net where hearts are caught like fish. - Muhammad Ali

Net Worth: Measurement of a fisherman's wealth - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When life gives you lemons, order the lobster tail. - Ziad K. Abdelnour

One can think of life after the fish is in the canoe. - Hawaii Proverb

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. - Gloria Steinem

Be patient and calm; no one can catch a fish with anger. - Herbert Hoover

At high tide, fish eat ants; at low tide, ants eat fish. - Thai Saying

Don't bargain for fish which are still in the water. - India Proverb

I'm a terrible cook, but I make very good lobster salad. - Nancy Carell

A sushi chef has to spot the best-quality fresh fish instantly. - Nobu Matsuhisa

If you were to make little fishes talk, they would talk like whales. - Oliver Goldsmith

Europe's the mayonnaise, but America supplies the good old lobster. - D.H. Lawrence

Govern a great nation as you would cook a small fish. Do not overdo it. - Lao Tzu

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - WC Fields

Good fishing is just a matter of timing. You have to get there yesterday. - Milton Berle

A dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream. - WC Fields

Any man who puts his intelligence up against a fish and loses had it coming. - John Steinbeck

I think fish is nice, but then I think that rain is wet, so who am I to judge? - Douglas Adams

Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting. - Dave Barry

Well washed and combed domestic pets grow dull; they miss the stimulus of fleas. - Francis Galton

Let your hook be always cast. In the pool where you least expect it, will be fish. - Ovid

I'm so ugly I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how big I'd get. - Rodney Dangerfield

My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere. - Steven Wright

They laughed at Robert Fulton but without him, New York wouldn't have a fish market. - Archie Bunker

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

I was in a sushi bar and it dawned on me - how could I discriminate between a cow and a fish? - Carre Otis

The opposite for courage is not cowardice, it is conformity. Even a dead fish can go with the flow. - Jim Hightower

Of all the useless things a person can do, limerick writing is right up there with golf and fishing. - Garrison Keillor

I was readin' an article about the animal population - there's millions of pets explodin'. - Archie Bunker

That's why I don't eat lobster or anything like that. Because they're alive when you kill it. - Nicole Polizzi

Give a man a fish and you have fed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you have fed him for a lifetime. - Chinese Proverb

If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles. - Doug Larson

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

Don't tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish. - Mark Twain

Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Unless he doesn't like sushi, then you also have to teach him to cook. - Auren Hoffman

It is, admittedly, a base foodstuff, but lobster, well prepared, can nevertheless be made to satisfy the distinguished gourmand. - Eli Brown

Somebody just back of you while you are fishing is as bad as someone looking over your shoulder while you write a letter to your girl. - Ernest Hemingway

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it was stupid. - Albert Einstein

What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin. - Dave Attell

Memory is a net: one finds it full of fish when he takes it from the brook, but a dozen miles of water have run through it without sticking. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

When I get through tearing a lobster apart, or one of those tender West Coast octopuses, I feel like I had a drink from the fountain of youth. - Joseph Mitchell

This is the fear that made fish crawl out onto dry land and evolve lungs, the fear that teaches us to run, the fear that makes us bury our dead. - John Green


see also   Fishing  Section
Pet Fish
Pet Fish Chores

 

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30-May-2020