Pet Lobsters

Fishing without a license

After a day fishing in the ocean a fisherman is walking from the pier carrying two lobsters in a bucket. He is approached by the Game Warden who asks him for his fishing license.

The fisherman says to the warden, “I did not catch these lobsters, they are my pets. Every day I come down to the water and whistle, and these lobster jump out and I take them for a walk only to return them at the end of the day.”

The warden, not believing him, reminds him that it is illegal to fish without a license. The fisherman turns to the warden and says, “If you don’t believe me then watch,” as he throws the lobsters back into the water.

The warden says, “Now whistle to your lobsters and show me that they will come out of the water.”

The fisherman turns to the warden and says, “What lobsters?”


QuotaBills
Debate: What lures de fishes - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

All men are equal before fish. - Herbert Hoover

There's always a bigger fish. - Qui-Gon Jinn

Bassinet: What every fisherman wants. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Raw lobster tail, freeze dried, is amazing. - Nathan Myhrvold

Holy Mackerel: Fish served at Church supper - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

All cats love fish but fear to wet their paws. - Chinese Proverb

No good fish goes anywhere without a porpoise. - Lewis Carroll

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. - Irina Dunn

When life gives you lemons, order the lobster tail. - Ziad K. Abdelnour

One can think of life after the fish is in the canoe. - Hawaii Proverb

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. - Gloria Steinem

At high tide, fish eat ants; at low tide, ants eat fish. - Thai Saying

Retire to what? I already play golf and fish for a living. - Julius Boros

I'm a terrible cook, but I make very good lobster salad. - Nancy Carell

A sushi chef has to spot the best-quality fresh fish instantly. - Nobu Matsuhisa

Habitat: Place where a particular species of fish was last week - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

I don't really get romance. Bring me fish or moose, not flowers. - Eden Robinson

Mermaid: 1. A deep she fish; 2. A bottomless girl in a topless suit. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Ideal Summer Resort: A place where fish bite and mosquitoes don't - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

No human being, however great or powerful, was ever so free as a fish. - John Ruskin

Europe's the mayonnaise, but America supplies the good old lobster. - D.H. Lawrence

A dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream. - WC Fields

What you need is somebody new - there's more than 1 fish in the woodpile. - Archie Bunker

Well washed and combed domestic pets grow dull; they miss the stimulus of fleas. - Francis Galton

Let your hook be always cast. In the pool where you least expect it, will be fish. - Ovid

We've drifted away from being fishers of men to being keepers of the aquarium. - Paul Harvey

Is this chicken or is this fish? I know it's tuna but it says chicken of the sea. - Jessica Simpson

I went fishing with Rod Ewert. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish. - Steven Wright

They laughed at Robert Fulton but without him, New York wouldn't have a fish market. - Archie Bunker

The only reason I ever played golf in the first place was so I could afford to hunt and fish. - Sam Snead

Cajun is country food by farmers and fisherman that arrived in Louisiana from Acadiana, Canada. - Paul Prudhomme

Without my pets, my wallet would be full, my house would be clean, but my heart would be empty. - Unknown

The opposite for courage is not cowardice, it is conformity. Even a dead fish can go with the flow. - Jim Hightower

Of all the useless things a person can do, limerick writing is right up there with golf and fishing. - Garrison Keillor

When they see me holding fish, they can see that I am comfortable with kings as well as with paupers. - Imelda Marcos

I was readin' an article about the animal population - there's millions of pets explodin'. - Archie Bunker

Model Wife: One who, when she spades the garden, picks up the fish worms and saves them for her husband - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

That's why I don't eat lobster or anything like that. Because they're alive when you kill it. - Nicole Polizzi

If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles. - Doug Larson

I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish that doesn't have eyeballs or fins. - Dave Barry

There is only one thing harder than looking for a dewdrop in the dew, and that is fishing for a clam in the clam chowder. - New England Proverb

I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson

I'm fairly adventurous with my eating. I've tried kangaroo, and Moreton Bay bugs, which are a kind of lobster, are so good. - Brian O'Driscoll

Only when the last tree has withered, and the last fish caught, and the last river been poisoned, will we realize we cannot eat money. - Cree Proverb

What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin. - Dave Attell

Fishing Journal: An imaginative work of sub-literature in which the angler records the weight, length, and species of fish he didn't catch - Daffynitions joe-ks.com


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Pet Fish Chores

 

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24-Jul-2021