Pet Lobsters

Fishing without a license

After a day fishing in the ocean a fisherman is walking from the pier carrying two lobsters in a bucket. He is approached by the Game Warden who asks him for his fishing license.

The fisherman says to the warden, “I did not catch these lobsters, they are my pets. Every day I come down to the water and whistle, and these lobster jump out and I take them for a walk only to return them at the end of the day.”

The warden, not believing him, reminds him that it is illegal to fish without a license. The fisherman turns to the warden and says, “If you don’t believe me then watch,” as he throws the lobsters back into the water.

The warden says, “Now whistle to your lobsters and show me that they will come out of the water.”

The fisherman turns to the warden and says, “What lobsters?”


QuotaBills
There's always a bigger fish. - Qui-Gon Jinn

Castanet: Primitive fishing method - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Bassinet: What every fisherman wants. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

He fishes well who uses a golden hook. - Latin Proverb

Holy Mackerel: Fish served at Church supper - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a net. - Cynthia Heimel

You know why fish are so thin? They eat fish. - Jerry Seinfeld

No good fish goes anywhere without a porpoise. - Lewis Carroll

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. - Irina Dunn

Net Worth: Measurement of a fisherman's wealth - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When life gives you lemons, order the lobster tail. - Ziad K. Abdelnour

One can think of life after the fish is in the canoe. - Hawaii Proverb

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. - Gloria Steinem

Be patient and calm; no one can catch a fish with anger. - Herbert Hoover

Retire to what? I already play golf and fish for a living. - Julius Boros

The fun of fishing is catching 'em, not killing 'em. - Norman Schwarzkopf

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain. - Mark Twain

A sushi chef has to spot the best-quality fresh fish instantly. - Nobu Matsuhisa

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

If you were to make little fishes talk, they would talk like whales. - Oliver Goldsmith

Ideal Summer Resort: A place where fish bite and mosquitoes don't - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A lawyer is an odd sort of fish, first rotten, then green, then ripe. - Robert Christy

No human being, however great or powerful, was ever so free as a fish. - John Ruskin

Europe's the mayonnaise, but America supplies the good old lobster. - D.H. Lawrence

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - WC Fields

Good fishing is just a matter of timing. You have to get there yesterday. - Milton Berle

Clement Attlee reminds me of a dead fish before it has had time to stiffen. - George Orwell

Any man who puts his intelligence up against a fish and loses had it coming. - John Steinbeck

Don't be a fish; be a frog. Swim in the water and jump when you hit ground. - Kim Young-ha

Let your hook be always cast. In the pool where you least expect it, will be fish. - Ovid

We've drifted away from being fishers of men to being keepers of the aquarium. - Paul Harvey

My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere. - Steven Wright

There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore looking like an idiot. - Steven Wright

Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after. - Henry David Thoreau

The only reason I ever played golf in the first place was so I could afford to hunt and fish. - Sam Snead

The opposite for courage is not cowardice, it is conformity. Even a dead fish can go with the flow. - Jim Hightower

I don't eat friggin' lobster or anything like that. Because they're alive when you kill it. - Nicole Polizzi

Model Wife: One who, when she spades the garden, picks up the fish worms and saves them for her husband - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Give a man a fish and you have fed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you have fed him for a lifetime. - Chinese Proverb

If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles. - Doug Larson

It is our art that has an opportunity to leave a footprint in the sand. They don't wrap fish in our work. - Hugh N Jacobsen

I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo

Luck affects everything; let your hook always be cast. In the stream where you least expect it, there will be fish. - Ovid

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands. - George G. Byron

Bamboo: Eye-pleasing, but extremely expensive and difficult-to-maintain type of rod, used primarily by anglers who fish for compliments. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Memory is a net: one finds it full of fish when he takes it from the brook, but a dozen miles of water have run through it without sticking. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

Fishing Journal: An imaginative work of sub-literature in which the angler records the weight, length, and species of fish he didn't catch - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

This is the fear that made fish crawl out onto dry land and evolve lungs, the fear that teaches us to run, the fear that makes us bury our dead. - John Green

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo


see also   Fishing  Section
Pet Fish
Pet Fish Chores

 

Tongue Shoes

Bomb Squad Prank

Redneck Waterslide

Wailea Beach

Apple Art

Origin of the Whoopee Cushion

Better Lawyer

Laundry Goat

Meat Loaf

Better With A Beard

Fat Twin Sisters

Breathe in the Ocean

Tel Aviv Luxury Penthouse

Caffeine Boosters

Head Path
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18-Oct-2021