The Rules of Chocolate

Are you eating too slowly?


If you’ve got melted chocolate all over your hands, you’re eating it too slowly.

Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.

The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.

Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It’ll take the edge off your appetite and you’ll eat less.

A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn’t that handy?

If you can’t eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can’t eat all your chocolate, what’s wrong with you?

If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.

If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don’t they actually counteract each other?

Money talks. Chocolate sings.

Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.

Q. Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous?
A. Because no one wants to quit.

If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated.

Put “eat chocolate” at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you’ll get one thing done.


QuotaBills
Chocolate never faileth. - Annette Lyon

I'm a woman who wants her chocolate. - Jessica Simpson

I owe it all to little chocolate doughnuts. - John Belushi

A balanced diet is chocolate in both hands. - Unknown

We have chocolate in common - that's enough. - Rachel Hollis

When no one understands you, chocolate is there. - Daniel Worona

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

It does seem like the chocolate brings good luck. - Lauren Oliver

If it's not chocolate, it's not breakfast. - Laini Taylor

In the cookie of life, friends are chocolate chips. - Salman Rushdie

Caramels are a fad. Chocolate is a permanent thing. - Milton Hershey

Weekend forecast: crafting with a chance of chocolate. - Unknown

If there's no chocolate in Heaven, I'm not going. - Jane Seabrook

Look, there's no metaphysics on earth like chocolates. - Fernando Pessoa

Coffee and chocolate - the inventor of mocha should be sainted. - Cherise Sinclair

Chocolate is medicinal. I just did another study that confirms it. - Michelle M. Pillow

Nine out of ten people like chocolate. The tenth person always lies. - Unknown

I only eat chocolate for you... so there'll be more of me to love! - Unknown

I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake. - Unknown

I need God's grace and something baked with peanut butter and chocolate. - Gloria Furman

Chocolate makes otherwise normal people melt into strange states of ecstasy. - John West

What you see before you, my friend, is the result of a lifetime of chocolate. - Katharine Hepburn

Moderation, honey, in all things but love and chocolate. That's my motto. - Barbara Bretton

The 12-step chocolate program: Never be more than 12 steps away from chocolate! - Terry Moore

If you get melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly. - Unknown

All I want is peace, love, understanding, and a chocolate bar bigger than my head. - Unknown

Chocolate comes from coco, which is a tree - that makes it a plant. Chocolate is salad. - Unknown

Happiness. Simple as a glass of chocolate or tortuous as the heart. Bitter Sweet. Alive. - Joanne Harris

My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown

Chocolate comes from cocoa, which is a plant. Therefore, chocolate counts as salad. The End. - Unknown

Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get. - Forrest Gump

Reading a good book in silence is like eating chocolate for the rest of your life and never getting fat. - Becca Fitzpatrick

A dark-chocolate truffle melts in my mouth, and I forget about everything else... even the fact that I'm on a diet. - Barbara Brooke

It was like having a box of chocolates shut in the bedroom drawer. Until the box was empty it occupied the mind too much. - Graham Greene

Put 'eat chocolate' at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done. - Unknown

Remember the days when you let your child have some chocolate if he finished his cereal? Now, chocolate is one of the cereals. - Robert Orben

"Exercise" is such a dirty word in my household that whenever I even think of it, I wash my mouth out with chocolate. - Leonore Fleischer

My greatest strength is common sense. I'm really a standard brand - like Campbell's tomato soup or Baker's chocolate. - Katharine Hepburn

I'm pretty sure that eating chocolate keeps wrinkles away because I have never seen a 10 year old with a Hershey bar and crows feet. - Amy Neftzger

I've got this thing for spicy stuff. Now, if you give me hot chocolate with chili pepper, a book and a bubble bath, I'm a happy girl. - Shiloh Walker


see also   Chocolate  Section
Chocolate Bed
Chocolate Chip Cookies for Engineers & Scientists
Chocolate Couch
Chocolate Easter Eggs
Chocolate Math
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02-Jul-2022