The Rules of Chocolate

Are you eating too slowly?


If you’ve got melted chocolate all over your hands, you’re eating it too slowly.

Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.

The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.

Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It’ll take the edge off your appetite and you’ll eat less.

A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn’t that handy?

If you can’t eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can’t eat all your chocolate, what’s wrong with you?

If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.

If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don’t they actually counteract each other?

Money talks. Chocolate sings.

Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.

Q. Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous?
A. Because no one wants to quit.

If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated.

Put “eat chocolate” at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you’ll get one thing done.


QuotaBills
Chocolate cake is the bomb! - Scarlett Pomers

It's never too late for chocolate. - Unknown

I hope your only rocky road is chocolate. - Amanda Mosher

I am a chocolatarian. I only eat chocolate. - Unknown

Seven days without chocolate makes one weak. - Unknown

Chocolate is what I love. I have it every day. - Jennifer Hudson

Behind every good woman is a lot of chocolate. - Unknown

Anything is good if it's made of chocolate. - Jo Brand

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

It does seem like the chocolate brings good luck. - Lauren Oliver

I've never met a chocolate I didn't like. - Unknown

In the cookie of life, friends are chocolate chips. - Salman Rushdie

Caramels are a fad. Chocolate is a permanent thing. - Milton Hershey

Things are getting worse. Please send more chocolate. - Unknown

Man can not live on chocolate alone.... but women can. - Unknown

To me, chocolate was the sole reason we on this earth. - Esi Edugyan

If chocolate is the answer, the question is irrelevant. - Kim Knott

Chocolate is nature's way of making up for Mondays. - Unknown

Life without books, chocolate and coffee is just useless. - Nadun Lokuliyanage

Look, there's no metaphysics on earth like chocolates. - Fernando Pessoa

Venice is like eating an entire box of chocolate liqueurs in one go. - Truman Capote

Chemically speaking, chocolate really is the world's perfect food. - Michael Levine

Some say women are addicted to chocolate. I say we're merely loyal. - Cathy Guisewite

I need God's grace and something baked with peanut butter and chocolate. - Gloria Furman

A nice creamy chocolate cake does a lot for a lot of people; it does for me. - Audrey Hepburn

Moderation, honey, in all things but love and chocolate. That's my motto. - Barbara Bretton

All I want is peace, love, understanding, and a chocolate bar bigger than my head. - Unknown

I want to stay curled and cosied and chocolated... forever in my mother's arms. - Sanober Khan

My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown

The greatest tragedies were written by the Greeks and Shakespeare... neither knew chocolate. - Sandra Boynton

Money can't buy happiness. But, it can buy a chocolate, which is pretty much the same thing. - Hanako Ishii

There's no point in wasting calories on cheap chocolate, always opt for the darkest and richest. - Nanci Rathbun

Reading a good book in silence is like eating chocolate for the rest of your life and never getting fat. - Becca Fitzpatrick

Then she thought bitterly that it would be much easier to resist chocolate if her life were less stressful. - J K Rowling

Dear Diamond,
We all know who is really a girl's best friend.
Yours sincerely,
Chocolate Cake - Unknown

A dark-chocolate truffle melts in my mouth, and I forget about everything else... even the fact that I'm on a diet. - Barbara Brooke

When you're stressed, eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets. Why? Because stressed spelled backwards is desserts. - Unknown

Whenever I have a spare second, I'm in the kitchen whipping up a batch of cookies. I make a mean batch of chocolate chippers. - Karlie Kloss

My greatest strength is common sense. I'm really a standard brand - like Campbell's tomato soup or Baker's chocolate. - Katharine Hepburn

I'm finally starting to scratch the surface of what women want. And I think the answer lies somewhere between conversation and chocolate. - Mel Gibson


see also   Chocolate  Section
Chocolate Bed
Chocolate Chip Cookies for Engineers & Scientists
Chocolate Couch
Chocolate Easter Eggs
Chocolate Math
Eat Your Vegetables

 

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03-Jun-2020