The Rules of Chocolate

Are you eating too slowly?


If you’ve got melted chocolate all over your hands, you’re eating it too slowly.

Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.

The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.

Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It’ll take the edge off your appetite and you’ll eat less.

A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn’t that handy?

If you can’t eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can’t eat all your chocolate, what’s wrong with you?

If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.

If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don’t they actually counteract each other?

Money talks. Chocolate sings.

Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.

Q. Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous?
A. Because no one wants to quit.

If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated.

Put “eat chocolate” at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you’ll get one thing done.


QuotaBills
Chocolate never faileth. - Annette Lyon

Chocolate cake is the bomb! - Scarlett Pomers

It's never too late for chocolate. - Unknown

Books and chocolate make life bearable. - Unknown

I hope your only rocky road is chocolate. - Amanda Mosher

When coffee dreams, it dreams of chocolate. - Unknown

Seven days without chocolate makes one weak. - Unknown

Behind every good woman is a lot of chocolate. - Unknown

Forget love - I'd rather fall in chocolate! - Unknown

When no one understands you, chocolate is there. - Daniel Worona

It does seem like the chocolate brings good luck. - Lauren Oliver

If it's not chocolate, it's not breakfast. - Laini Taylor

I'm not overweight, I'm chocolate enriched. - Unknown

Caramels are a fad. Chocolate is a permanent thing. - Milton Hershey

I'd give up chocolate but I'm not a quitter. - Unknown

Chocolate is more than a food, but less than a drug. - R J Huxtable

To me, chocolate was the sole reason we on this earth. - Esi Edugyan

Chocolate is nature's way of making up for Mondays. - Unknown

Life without books, chocolate and coffee is just useless. - Nadun Lokuliyanage

To chocolate or not to chocolate... is there any question? - Unknown

It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate. - Andrea Hurst

Nine out of ten people like chocolate. The tenth person always lies. - Unknown

Chemically speaking, chocolate really is the world's perfect food. - Michael Levine

Some say women are addicted to chocolate. I say we're merely loyal. - Cathy Guisewite

There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate. - Linda Grayson

All I want is peace, love, understanding, and a chocolate bar bigger than my head. - Unknown

I want to stay curled and cosied and chocolated... forever in my mother's arms. - Sanober Khan

Chocolate comes from coco, which is a tree - that makes it a plant. Chocolate is salad. - Unknown

My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown

The greatest tragedies were written by the Greeks and Shakespeare... neither knew chocolate. - Sandra Boynton

Money can't buy happiness. But, it can buy a chocolate, which is pretty much the same thing. - Hanako Ishii

Chocolate symbolizes, as does no other food, luxury, comfort, sensuality, gratification, and love. - Karl Petzke

Reading a good book in silence is like eating chocolate for the rest of your life and never getting fat. - Becca Fitzpatrick

Then she thought bitterly that it would be much easier to resist chocolate if her life were less stressful. - J K Rowling

Dear Diamond,
We all know who is really a girl's best friend.
Yours sincerely,
Chocolate Cake - Unknown

Put 'eat chocolate' at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done. - Unknown

Remember the days when you let your child have some chocolate if he finished his cereal? Now, chocolate is one of the cereals. - Robert Orben

"Exercise" is such a dirty word in my household that whenever I even think of it, I wash my mouth out with chocolate. - Leonore Fleischer

I'm pretty sure that eating chocolate keeps wrinkles away because I have never seen a 10 year old with a Hershey bar and crows feet. - Amy Neftzger

I'm finally starting to scratch the surface of what women want. And I think the answer lies somewhere between conversation and chocolate. - Mel Gibson


see also   Chocolate  Section
Chocolate Bed
Chocolate Chip Cookies for Engineers & Scientists
Chocolate Couch
Chocolate Easter Eggs
Chocolate Math
Eat Your Vegetables

 

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04-Dec-2020