The Rules of Chocolate

Are you eating too slowly?


If you’ve got melted chocolate all over your hands, you’re eating it too slowly.

Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.

The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.

Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It’ll take the edge off your appetite and you’ll eat less.

A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn’t that handy?

If you can’t eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can’t eat all your chocolate, what’s wrong with you?

If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.

If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don’t they actually counteract each other?

Money talks. Chocolate sings.

Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.

Q. Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous?
A. Because no one wants to quit.

If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated.

Put “eat chocolate” at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you’ll get one thing done.


QuotaBills
Chocolate never faileth. - Annette Lyon

Chocolate cake is the bomb! - Scarlett Pomers

It's never too late for chocolate. - Unknown

A balanced diet is chocolate in both hands. - Unknown

When coffee dreams, it dreams of chocolate. - Unknown

I'm Hybrid. I run on chocolate and wine. - Unknown

Seven days without chocolate makes one weak. - Unknown

Behind every good woman is a lot of chocolate. - Unknown

Anything is good if it's made of chocolate. - Jo Brand

When no one understands you, chocolate is there. - Daniel Worona

I've never met a chocolate I didn't like. - Unknown

If it's not chocolate, it's not breakfast. - Laini Taylor

I'm not overweight, I'm chocolate enriched. - Unknown

Weekend forecast: crafting with a chance of chocolate. - Unknown

If chocolate is the answer, the question is irrelevant. - Kim Knott

If there's no chocolate in Heaven, I'm not going. - Jane Seabrook

Life without books, chocolate and coffee is just useless. - Nadun Lokuliyanage

Coffee and chocolate - the inventor of mocha should be sainted. - Cherise Sinclair

Nine out of ten people like chocolate. The tenth person always lies. - Unknown

I only eat chocolate for you... so there'll be more of me to love! - Unknown

In Heaven, chocolate has no calories and is served as the main course. - Unknown

Chocolate is something you take for granted until you don't have any. - Marja McGraw

Chocolate is cheaper than therapy, and you don't need an appointment. - Unknown

There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate. - Linda Grayson

A nice creamy chocolate cake does a lot for a lot of people; it does for me. - Audrey Hepburn

What you see before you, my friend, is the result of a lifetime of chocolate. - Katharine Hepburn

Moderation, honey, in all things but love and chocolate. That's my motto. - Barbara Bretton

The 12-step chocolate program: Never be more than 12 steps away from chocolate! - Terry Moore

If you get melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly. - Unknown

Happiness. Simple as a glass of chocolate or tortuous as the heart. Bitter Sweet. Alive. - Joanne Harris

The greatest tragedies were written by the Greeks and Shakespeare... neither knew chocolate. - Sandra Boynton

Money can't buy happiness. But, it can buy a chocolate, which is pretty much the same thing. - Hanako Ishii

There's no point in wasting calories on cheap chocolate, always opt for the darkest and richest. - Nanci Rathbun

Dear Diamond,
We all know who is really a girl's best friend.
Yours sincerely,
Chocolate Cake - Unknown

A dark-chocolate truffle melts in my mouth, and I forget about everything else... even the fact that I'm on a diet. - Barbara Brooke

Whenever I have a spare second, I'm in the kitchen whipping up a batch of cookies. I make a mean batch of chocolate chippers. - Karlie Kloss

My greatest strength is common sense. I'm really a standard brand - like Campbell's tomato soup or Baker's chocolate. - Katharine Hepburn

I'm pretty sure that eating chocolate keeps wrinkles away because I have never seen a 10 year old with a Hershey bar and crows feet. - Amy Neftzger

I'm finally starting to scratch the surface of what women want. And I think the answer lies somewhere between conversation and chocolate. - Mel Gibson

I've got this thing for spicy stuff. Now, if you give me hot chocolate with chili pepper, a book and a bubble bath, I'm a happy girl. - Shiloh Walker


see also   Chocolate  Section
Chocolate Bed
Chocolate Chip Cookies for Engineers & Scientists
Chocolate Couch
Chocolate Easter Eggs
Chocolate Math
Eat Your Vegetables

 

Braided Horse Tail

Government Debt

Statue Tug Of War

Kiosk Hours

Tight Fit

Life Is Beautiful

Buddha Pear

Yes!

Sunday Service Social Distancing

Mannequin Pointer

Life's Choices

Two Of Each

Napoleon

Tomorrow

You Turn

ThaiTanic

The Future of Social Media

Tartan Headphones

Husband Quarantine

Aussie Salad
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

30-Mar-2020