The Stress Diet

This diet is designed to help you cope with constant stress ... BREAKFAST 1/2 grapefruit 1 slice whole wheat toast, dry 8 oz skimmed milk LUNCH 4 oz lean broiled chicken breast 1 cup steamed spinach 1 cup herb tea 1 Oreo cookie MID AFTERNOON SNACK rest of the Oreos in the package 2 pints of rocky road ice cream 1 jar hot fudge sauce nuts, cherries, whipped cream DINNER 2 loaves garlic bread with cheese large sausage, mushroom and cheese pizza 3 milky way candy bars LATE EVENING SNACK Entire frozen cheesecake, eaten directly from freezer RULES FOR THIS DIET 1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories; 2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are canceled out by the diet soda; 3. When you eat with someone else, calories don’t count if you don’t eat more than they do; 4. Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER count, such as brandy, hot chocolate and Sara Lee cheesecake; 5. If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner; 6. Movie related foods (Milk Duds, Buttered popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots, Tootsie Rolls, etc.) do not have additional calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one’s personal fuel; 7. Cookie pieces contain no calories - the process of breaking causes calorie leakage; 8. Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something. Examples are: peanut butter on a knife making a sandwich and ice cream on a spoon making a sundae; 9. Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories. Examples are: Spinach and pistachio ice cream; mushrooms and white chocolate. NOTE: Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other food color; 10. Foods that are frozen have no calories because calories are units of heat. Examples are ice cream, frozen pies and popsicles. QuotaBills The greatest wealth is health. - Virgil Mine is the least fat diet in the world. - Pierre Dukan Smoking cures weight problems... eventually. - Steven Wright Happiness is equilibrium. Shift your weight. - Tom Stoppard Tears at times have all the weight of speech. - Ovid It's simple. If it jiggles, it's fat. - Arnold Schwarzenegger Have great, secret, big, fat hopes for yourself. - Gloria Vanderbilt If stress burned calories, I'd be a supermodel. - Unknown People who shop in health food stores never look healthy. - Amy Sedaris Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome I don't diet, I just don't eat as much as I'd like to. - Linda Evangelista Your diet is a bank account. Good food choices are good investments. - Bethenny Frankel Stress is an important dragon to slay - or at least tame - in your life. - Marilu Henner There is nothing more beautiful in this world than a healthy, wise old man. - Lin Yutang No disease that can be treated by diet should be treated by any other means. - Maimonides In nothing do men more nearly approach the gods than in giving health to men. - Cicero Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings Who ever hears of fat men heading a riot, or herding together in turbulent mobs? - Washington Irving The two kinds of people on earth are the people who lift and the people who lean. - Unknown Cookie: The standard method for converting sugar, floor, and butter into body fat - Daffynitions joe-ks.com I recently became a Christian Scientist. It was the only health plan I could afford. - Betsy Salkind People don't trust private health insurance companies for all the right reasons. - Bernie Sanders Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime. - Scott Adams Logic is the hygiene the mathematician practices to keep his ideas healthy and strong. - Hermann Weyl My act is sort of improvisational. I have a skeleton in my head, but no fat or skin on it. - Paula Poundstone Coaching doesn't make sick people well - it helps healthy people become extra-ordinary. - Thomas Leonard Smart people that like good health spend several hours outdoors daily in the shade of trees. - Steven Magee Juicing isn't about binging and cleansing; I try to incorporate it into a balanced diet. - Eddie Huang I'm on a strict liquid diet: Mimosas for breakfast, Margaritas for lunch, Martinis for dinner. - Unknown What can be added to the happiness of man who is in health, out of debt, and has a clear conscience? - Adam Smith They have gun control in Cuba. They have universal health care in Cuba. So why do they want to come here? - Paul Harvey America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight. - Unknown I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. - Hartman Jule You can catch health, happiness, and success from others just as easily as you can catch worries, bitterness, and failure. - Dale Carnegie Nobody ever wrote down a plan to be broke, fat, lazy, or stupid. Those things are what happen when you don't have a plan. - Larry Winget In soap, fatty acids made from boiling pork bone fat are used as a hardening agent, but also for giving it a pearl-like effect. - Christien Meindertsma Animals are not our selfie props. If there's any risk that your photo is going to hurt or stress an animal, it's not worth it. - Angela Henderson I'm off the diet, but not the treadmill. I speak as someone who's attempted to lose weight and get fit thrice before in my life. - Ronnie Screwvala If you want your kids to listen to you, don't yell at them. Whisper. Make them lean in. My kids taught me that. I do it with adults now. - Mario Batali Our food pyramid, the kind of diet that is constantly promoted, is completely warped. It's not based around anything to do with healing your body. - Jessica Origliasso see also   Food  Section A Balanced Diet Balanced Diet Balanced Food Delivery Balanced Meal Beauty Bag Bus Wait Weight Coffee Spoon Diet Fork Diet Hard Diet Pills Diet Silverware Diet Spoon Diet Utensils Donut Sale Gin & Tonic Diet Important Health Information Jogger’s Weight Scale Learn To Cook Milkshake Diet My New Diet Obesity Is OK Reasons to Stop Dieting Squeegee Clothing Texas Diet Vodka Diet Weight Watchers Bus   Frisbee Stopper Redneck Sushi Redneck's Lo-Tech Mobile Phone Downchuck Border Agent Alert Cadillac Clearance Leading By Example Wired For Coffee Cadillac Bike Chip and Dip Cat Couch Nap Redneck Trophy Fish Country Irony 'None Of The Above' Election Option I've Got Your Back Vintage Campers Great Minds of History But That Was Yesterday Trudeau's Top Fails Picture Of Me Getting Naked

20-Sep-2021