The Stress Diet

Coping with constant stress


This diet is designed to help you cope with constant stress ...

BREAKFAST
1/2 grapefruit
1 slice whole wheat toast, dry
8 oz skimmed milk

LUNCH
4 oz lean broiled chicken breast
1 cup steamed spinach
1 cup herb tea
1 Oreo cookie

MID AFTERNOON SNACK
rest of the Oreos in the package
2 pints of rocky road ice cream
1 jar hot fudge sauce
nuts, cherries, whipped cream

DINNER
2 loaves garlic bread with cheese
large sausage, mushroom and cheese pizza
3 milky way candy bars

LATE EVENING SNACK
Entire frozen cheesecake, eaten directly from freezer

RULES FOR THIS DIET
1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories;
2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are canceled out by the diet soda;
3. When you eat with someone else, calories don’t count if you don’t eat more than they do;
4. Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER count, such as brandy, hot chocolate and Sara Lee cheesecake;
5. If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner;
6. Movie related foods (Milk Duds, Buttered popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots, Tootsie Rolls, etc.) do not have additional calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one’s personal fuel;
7. Cookie pieces contain no calories - the process of breaking causes calorie leakage;
8. Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something. Examples are: peanut butter on a knife making a sandwich and ice cream on a spoon making a sundae;
9. Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories. Examples are: Spinach and pistachio ice cream; mushrooms and white chocolate. NOTE: Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other food color;
10. Foods that are frozen have no calories because calories are units of heat. Examples are ice cream, frozen pies and popsicles.




QuotaBills
Stress makes you stupid. - Unknown

A good husband is healthy and absent. - Japanese Proverb

Smoking cures weight problems... eventually. - Steven Wright

Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch. - Andy Rooney

Tears at times have all the weight of speech. - Ovid

Diets are for those who are thick and tired of it. - Unknown

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat. - Erma Bombeck

Leave off all thin potations and addict thyself to sack. - William Shakespeare

Stress should be a powerful driving force, not an obstacle. - Bob Phillips

I'm into fitness: Fit'ness whole donut in my mouth. - Unknown

Healthy citizens are the greatest asset any country can have. - Winston Churchill

The only thin a boyfriend was good for was a shattered heart. - Becca Fitzpatrick

If you want to look young and thin, hang around old fat people. - Jim Eason

I don't mind that I'm fat. You still get the same money. - Marlon Brando

If you're already walking on thin ice, you might as well dance. - Proverb

I find there is only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people. - Rodney Dangerfield

The key to a healthy lawn is to take care of what happens below ground. - Mike Bechtle

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

Cookie: The standard method for converting sugar, floor, and butter into body fat - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is. - Helen Rowland

We don't come to Canada for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves. - Prince Philip

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it. - Jackie Gleason

Grief can be a burden, but also an anchor. You get used to the weight, how it holds you in place. - Sarah Dessen

Many of our fears are tissue-paper-thin, and a single courageous step would carry us clear through them. - Brendan Francis

They have gun control in Cuba. They have universal health care in Cuba. So why do they want to come here? - Paul Harvey

If I go on a diet and work out, I'm always in a bad mood. I'd rather be a little heavier but nice. - Salma Hayek

Baloney is the unvarnished lie laid on so thick you hate it. Blarney is flattery laid on so thin you love it. - Fulton J Sheen

A healthy male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his own weight in other people's patience. - John Updike

What some call health, if purchased by perpetual anxiety about diet, isn't much better than tedious disease. - Alexander Pope

Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health. - Julia Child

Inside me there's a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes. - Bob Thaves

Transformation also means looking for ways to stop pushing yourself so hard professionally or inviting so much stress. - Gail Sheehy

Adversity has the same effect on a man that severe training has on the pugilist: it reduces him to his fighting weight. - Josh Billings

I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. - Hartman Jule

You can catch health, happiness, and success from others just as easily as you can catch worries, bitterness, and failure. - Dale Carnegie

I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson

Desire is the key to motivation. It is the key to develop a healthy personality and a positive attitude towards oneself and others. - Amit Abraham

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain

I pray for forgiveness. For help and guidance. To be a better person. For the health of my family. For the world to be a better place. - Tyson Fury


see also   Food  Section
A Balanced Diet
Balanced Diet
Balanced Food Delivery
Balanced Meal
Beauty Bag
Bus Wait Weight
Coffee Spoon
Diet Fork
Diet Hard
Diet Pills
Diet Silverware
Diet Spoon
Diet Utensils
Donut Sale
Gin & Tonic Diet
Important Health Information
Jogger’s Weight Scale
Learn To Cook
Milkshake Diet
My New Diet
Obesity Is OK
Reasons to Stop Dieting
Squeegee Clothing
Texas Diet
Vodka Diet
Weight Watchers Bus

 

Whose Problem

Grasping Shirt

An Evening Prayer

Baby Clone

Piano Ring

Religious Nuts

Funnel Farm

Urinal Challenge

Snow Detour

Redneck GPS

Snow Receiver

Book Perspective

Why Stand In Line?

How Twins Are Made

Ups and Downs

Irish Flu Shots

Snake Circle

Romantic Accident

Winter Mirror

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

24-Jan-2021