The Stress Diet

This diet is designed to help you cope with constant stress ... BREAKFAST 1/2 grapefruit 1 slice whole wheat toast, dry 8 oz skimmed milk LUNCH 4 oz lean broiled chicken breast 1 cup steamed spinach 1 cup herb tea 1 Oreo cookie MID AFTERNOON SNACK rest of the Oreos in the package 2 pints of rocky road ice cream 1 jar hot fudge sauce nuts, cherries, whipped cream DINNER 2 loaves garlic bread with cheese large sausage, mushroom and cheese pizza 3 milky way candy bars LATE EVENING SNACK Entire frozen cheesecake, eaten directly from freezer RULES FOR THIS DIET 1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories; 2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are canceled out by the diet soda; 3. When you eat with someone else, calories don’t count if you don’t eat more than they do; 4. Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER count, such as brandy, hot chocolate and Sara Lee cheesecake; 5. If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner; 6. Movie related foods (Milk Duds, Buttered popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots, Tootsie Rolls, etc.) do not have additional calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one’s personal fuel; 7. Cookie pieces contain no calories - the process of breaking causes calorie leakage; 8. Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something. Examples are: peanut butter on a knife making a sandwich and ice cream on a spoon making a sundae; 9. Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories. Examples are: Spinach and pistachio ice cream; mushrooms and white chocolate. NOTE: Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other food color; 10. Foods that are frozen have no calories because calories are units of heat. Examples are ice cream, frozen pies and popsicles. QuotaBills I'm a fat anorexic. - Kiri Te Kanawa Stress makes you stupid. - Unknown The first wealth is health. - Ralph Waldo Emerson Happiness is good health and a bad memory. - Ingrid Bergman A balanced diet is chocolate in both hands. - Unknown Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch. - Andy Rooney Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you may diet. - Unknown In skating over thin ice our safety is in our speed. - Ralph Waldo Emerson Health insurance should be a given for every citizen. - Jesse Ventura I'm just one stomach flu away from my goal weight. - The Devil Wears Prada Leave off all thin potations and addict thyself to sack. - William Shakespeare If you want to look young and thin, hang around old fat people. - Jim Eason Reality: The leading cause of stress among those in touch with it. - Lily Tomlin Too much homework can cause stress, depression and even lower grades. - Unknown Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise. - Benjamin Franklin I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks. - Totie Fields Early to rise and early to bed makes a male healthy and wealthy and dead. - James Thurber One of the major goals of health insurance reform is to bring down the cost. - Valerie Jarrett Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary. - Dorothy C Fisher Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck With my sunglasses on, I'm Jack Nicholson. Without them, I'm fat and 60. - Jack Nicholson To live is like to love - all reason is against it, and all healthy instinct for it. - Samuel Butler People don't trust private health insurance companies for all the right reasons. - Bernie Sanders "The Hunchback Of Notre Dame" had the big fat English actor, Charles Lawson. - Archie Bunker The way to deal with the devil of obesity and diabetes is literally one day at a time. - Stephen Furst My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass. - Leslie Grimutter The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it. - Jackie Gleason I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond. - Mae West Grief can be a burden, but also an anchor. You get used to the weight, how it holds you in place. - Sarah Dessen If fat people just gave skinny people more food, we could solve obesity and hunger at the same time. - Ashton Kutcher Many of our fears are tissue-paper-thin, and a single courageous step would carry us clear through them. - Brendan Francis They have gun control in Cuba. They have universal health care in Cuba. So why do they want to come here? - Paul Harvey Dieting is not a sprint, it's a marathon. If you celebrate the small victories, you will eventually win the war. - Ian K Smith Perfect freedom is as necessary to the health and vigor of commerce as it is to the health and vigor of citizenship. - Patrick Henry The first requisite of a good citizen in this republic of ours is that he shall be able and willing to pull his weight. - Theodore Roosevelt You can catch health, happiness, and success from others just as easily as you can catch worries, bitterness, and failure. - Dale Carnegie In all affairs it's a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted. - Bertrand Russell I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on. - Jean Kerr see also   Food  Section A Balanced Diet Balanced Diet Balanced Food Delivery Balanced Meal Beauty Bag Bus Wait Weight Coffee Spoon Diet Fork Diet Hard Diet Pills Diet Silverware Diet Spoon Diet Utensils Donut Sale Gin & Tonic Diet Important Health Information Jogger’s Weight Scale Learn To Cook Milkshake Diet My New Diet Obesity Is OK Reasons to Stop Dieting Squeegee Clothing Texas Diet Vodka Diet Weight Watchers Bus   Sleep With Us Puppy Taco Fresh Air Computing Koalified How Much Time Left Expandable Equation Devoted Husband Statue of Libertea Beaver Stretching Social Media Explained Famous Equations Ain't Mowing the Lawn Anymore Crocpox Deer Me! Inverted Helicopter Water Hat NASCAR Fan - Diehard Category Busted Build It - They Will Come Exhausted Baby

28-May-2022