The Stress Diet

This diet is designed to help you cope with constant stress ... BREAKFAST 1/2 grapefruit 1 slice whole wheat toast, dry 8 oz skimmed milk LUNCH 4 oz lean broiled chicken breast 1 cup steamed spinach 1 cup herb tea 1 Oreo cookie MID AFTERNOON SNACK rest of the Oreos in the package 2 pints of rocky road ice cream 1 jar hot fudge sauce nuts, cherries, whipped cream DINNER 2 loaves garlic bread with cheese large sausage, mushroom and cheese pizza 3 milky way candy bars LATE EVENING SNACK Entire frozen cheesecake, eaten directly from freezer RULES FOR THIS DIET 1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories; 2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are canceled out by the diet soda; 3. When you eat with someone else, calories don’t count if you don’t eat more than they do; 4. Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER count, such as brandy, hot chocolate and Sara Lee cheesecake; 5. If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner; 6. Movie related foods (Milk Duds, Buttered popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots, Tootsie Rolls, etc.) do not have additional calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one’s personal fuel; 7. Cookie pieces contain no calories - the process of breaking causes calorie leakage; 8. Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something. Examples are: peanut butter on a knife making a sandwich and ice cream on a spoon making a sundae; 9. Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories. Examples are: Spinach and pistachio ice cream; mushrooms and white chocolate. NOTE: Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other food color; 10. Foods that are frozen have no calories because calories are units of heat. Examples are ice cream, frozen pies and popsicles. QuotaBills Stress makes you stupid. - Unknown A good husband is healthy and absent. - Japanese Proverb Smoking cures weight problems... eventually. - Steven Wright Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch. - Andy Rooney Tears at times have all the weight of speech. - Ovid Diets are for those who are thick and tired of it. - Unknown A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat. - Erma Bombeck Leave off all thin potations and addict thyself to sack. - William Shakespeare Stress should be a powerful driving force, not an obstacle. - Bob Phillips I'm into fitness: Fit'ness whole donut in my mouth. - Unknown Healthy citizens are the greatest asset any country can have. - Winston Churchill The only thin a boyfriend was good for was a shattered heart. - Becca Fitzpatrick If you want to look young and thin, hang around old fat people. - Jim Eason I don't mind that I'm fat. You still get the same money. - Marlon Brando If you're already walking on thin ice, you might as well dance. - Proverb I find there is only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people. - Rodney Dangerfield The key to a healthy lawn is to take care of what happens below ground. - Mike Bechtle I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift Cookie: The standard method for converting sugar, floor, and butter into body fat - Daffynitions joe-ks.com The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is. - Helen Rowland We don't come to Canada for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves. - Prince Philip The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it. - Jackie Gleason Grief can be a burden, but also an anchor. You get used to the weight, how it holds you in place. - Sarah Dessen Many of our fears are tissue-paper-thin, and a single courageous step would carry us clear through them. - Brendan Francis They have gun control in Cuba. They have universal health care in Cuba. So why do they want to come here? - Paul Harvey If I go on a diet and work out, I'm always in a bad mood. I'd rather be a little heavier but nice. - Salma Hayek Baloney is the unvarnished lie laid on so thick you hate it. Blarney is flattery laid on so thin you love it. - Fulton J Sheen A healthy male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his own weight in other people's patience. - John Updike What some call health, if purchased by perpetual anxiety about diet, isn't much better than tedious disease. - Alexander Pope Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health. - Julia Child Inside me there's a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes. - Bob Thaves Transformation also means looking for ways to stop pushing yourself so hard professionally or inviting so much stress. - Gail Sheehy Adversity has the same effect on a man that severe training has on the pugilist: it reduces him to his fighting weight. - Josh Billings I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. - Hartman Jule You can catch health, happiness, and success from others just as easily as you can catch worries, bitterness, and failure. - Dale Carnegie I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson Desire is the key to motivation. It is the key to develop a healthy personality and a positive attitude towards oneself and others. - Amit Abraham The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain I pray for forgiveness. For help and guidance. To be a better person. For the health of my family. For the world to be a better place. - Tyson Fury see also   Food  Section A Balanced Diet Balanced Diet Balanced Food Delivery Balanced Meal Beauty Bag Bus Wait Weight Coffee Spoon Diet Fork Diet Hard Diet Pills Diet Silverware Diet Spoon Diet Utensils Donut Sale Gin & Tonic Diet Important Health Information Jogger’s Weight Scale Learn To Cook Milkshake Diet My New Diet Obesity Is OK Reasons to Stop Dieting Squeegee Clothing Texas Diet Vodka Diet Weight Watchers Bus   Whose Problem Grasping Shirt An Evening Prayer Baby Clone Piano Ring Religious Nuts Funnel Farm Urinal Challenge Snow Detour Redneck GPS Snow Receiver Book Perspective Why Stand In Line? How Twins Are Made Ups and Downs Irish Flu Shots Snake Circle Romantic Accident Winter Mirror 2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

24-Jan-2021