The Stress Diet

Coping with constant stress


This diet is designed to help you cope with constant stress ...

BREAKFAST
1/2 grapefruit
1 slice whole wheat toast, dry
8 oz skimmed milk

LUNCH
4 oz lean broiled chicken breast
1 cup steamed spinach
1 cup herb tea
1 Oreo cookie

MID AFTERNOON SNACK
rest of the Oreos in the package
2 pints of rocky road ice cream
1 jar hot fudge sauce
nuts, cherries, whipped cream

DINNER
2 loaves garlic bread with cheese
large sausage, mushroom and cheese pizza
3 milky way candy bars

LATE EVENING SNACK
Entire frozen cheesecake, eaten directly from freezer

RULES FOR THIS DIET
1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories;
2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are canceled out by the diet soda;
3. When you eat with someone else, calories don’t count if you don’t eat more than they do;
4. Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER count, such as brandy, hot chocolate and Sara Lee cheesecake;
5. If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner;
6. Movie related foods (Milk Duds, Buttered popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots, Tootsie Rolls, etc.) do not have additional calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one’s personal fuel;
7. Cookie pieces contain no calories - the process of breaking causes calorie leakage;
8. Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something. Examples are: peanut butter on a knife making a sandwich and ice cream on a spoon making a sundae;
9. Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories. Examples are: Spinach and pistachio ice cream; mushrooms and white chocolate. NOTE: Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other food color;
10. Foods that are frozen have no calories because calories are units of heat. Examples are ice cream, frozen pies and popsicles.




QuotaBills
I'm a fat anorexic. - Kiri Te Kanawa

Stress makes you stupid. - Unknown

The first wealth is health. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Happiness is good health and a bad memory. - Ingrid Bergman

A balanced diet is chocolate in both hands. - Unknown

Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch. - Andy Rooney

Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you may diet. - Unknown

In skating over thin ice our safety is in our speed. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Health insurance should be a given for every citizen. - Jesse Ventura

I'm just one stomach flu away from my goal weight. - The Devil Wears Prada

Leave off all thin potations and addict thyself to sack. - William Shakespeare

If you want to look young and thin, hang around old fat people. - Jim Eason

Reality: The leading cause of stress among those in touch with it. - Lily Tomlin

Too much homework can cause stress, depression and even lower grades. - Unknown

Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise. - Benjamin Franklin

I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks. - Totie Fields

Early to rise and early to bed makes a male healthy and wealthy and dead. - James Thurber

One of the major goals of health insurance reform is to bring down the cost. - Valerie Jarrett

Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham

A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary. - Dorothy C Fisher

Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck

With my sunglasses on, I'm Jack Nicholson. Without them, I'm fat and 60. - Jack Nicholson

To live is like to love - all reason is against it, and all healthy instinct for it. - Samuel Butler

People don't trust private health insurance companies for all the right reasons. - Bernie Sanders

"The Hunchback Of Notre Dame" had the big fat English actor, Charles Lawson. - Archie Bunker

The way to deal with the devil of obesity and diabetes is literally one day at a time. - Stephen Furst

My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass. - Leslie Grimutter

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it. - Jackie Gleason

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond. - Mae West

Grief can be a burden, but also an anchor. You get used to the weight, how it holds you in place. - Sarah Dessen

If fat people just gave skinny people more food, we could solve obesity and hunger at the same time. - Ashton Kutcher

Many of our fears are tissue-paper-thin, and a single courageous step would carry us clear through them. - Brendan Francis

They have gun control in Cuba. They have universal health care in Cuba. So why do they want to come here? - Paul Harvey

Dieting is not a sprint, it's a marathon. If you celebrate the small victories, you will eventually win the war. - Ian K Smith

Perfect freedom is as necessary to the health and vigor of commerce as it is to the health and vigor of citizenship. - Patrick Henry

The first requisite of a good citizen in this republic of ours is that he shall be able and willing to pull his weight. - Theodore Roosevelt

You can catch health, happiness, and success from others just as easily as you can catch worries, bitterness, and failure. - Dale Carnegie

In all affairs it's a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted. - Bertrand Russell

I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on. - Jean Kerr


see also   Food  Section
A Balanced Diet
Balanced Diet
Balanced Food Delivery
Balanced Meal
Beauty Bag
Bus Wait Weight
Coffee Spoon
Diet Fork
Diet Hard
Diet Pills
Diet Silverware
Diet Spoon
Diet Utensils
Donut Sale
Gin & Tonic Diet
Important Health Information
Jogger’s Weight Scale
Learn To Cook
Milkshake Diet
My New Diet
Obesity Is OK
Reasons to Stop Dieting
Squeegee Clothing
Texas Diet
Vodka Diet
Weight Watchers Bus

 

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28-May-2022