The Stress Diet

This diet is designed to help you cope with constant stress ... BREAKFAST 1/2 grapefruit 1 slice whole wheat toast, dry 8 oz skimmed milk LUNCH 4 oz lean broiled chicken breast 1 cup steamed spinach 1 cup herb tea 1 Oreo cookie MID AFTERNOON SNACK rest of the Oreos in the package 2 pints of rocky road ice cream 1 jar hot fudge sauce nuts, cherries, whipped cream DINNER 2 loaves garlic bread with cheese large sausage, mushroom and cheese pizza 3 milky way candy bars LATE EVENING SNACK Entire frozen cheesecake, eaten directly from freezer RULES FOR THIS DIET 1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories; 2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are canceled out by the diet soda; 3. When you eat with someone else, calories don’t count if you don’t eat more than they do; 4. Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER count, such as brandy, hot chocolate and Sara Lee cheesecake; 5. If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner; 6. Movie related foods (Milk Duds, Buttered popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots, Tootsie Rolls, etc.) do not have additional calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one’s personal fuel; 7. Cookie pieces contain no calories - the process of breaking causes calorie leakage; 8. Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something. Examples are: peanut butter on a knife making a sandwich and ice cream on a spoon making a sundae; 9. Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories. Examples are: Spinach and pistachio ice cream; mushrooms and white chocolate. NOTE: Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other food color; 10. Foods that are frozen have no calories because calories are units of heat. Examples are ice cream, frozen pies and popsicles. QuotaBills I'm a fat anorexic. - Kiri Te Kanawa Stress makes you stupid. - Unknown Have a healthy disregard for the impossible. - Larry Page You know why fish are so thin? They eat fish. - Jerry Seinfeld Tears at times have all the weight of speech. - Ovid Thin people are beautiful, but fat people are adorable. - Jackie Gleason Stress should be a powerful driving force, not an obstacle. - Bob Phillips I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper If you ignore your health for long enough, it'll go away. - Unknown Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid If you want to look young and thin, hang around old fat people. - Jim Eason Our health is a voyage and every illness is an adventure story. - Margiad Evans Being in a good frame of mind helps one keep in the picture of health. - Unknown 'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'. - Dave Barry The key to a healthy lawn is to take care of what happens below ground. - Mike Bechtle Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies. - P.J. O'Rourke People with healthy self-esteem do not need to create pretend identities. - Unknown When healthy competition prevails - you come out to play and you play to win. - Lorii Myers I gotta lose weight, Edith. I hope you remembered my diuretic cottage cheese. - Archie Bunker In nothing do men more nearly approach the gods than in giving health to men. - Cicero Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret You can't lose weight by talking about it. You have to keep your mouth shut. - Old Farmer's Almanac The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child People don't trust private health insurance companies for all the right reasons. - Bernie Sanders The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another. - William James Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben Coaching doesn't make sick people well - it helps healthy people become extra-ordinary. - Thomas Leonard Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said, "Cigarettes contain fat." - Dave Barry A life coach does for the rest of your life what a personal trainer does for your health and fitness. - Elaine MacDonald A healthy male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his own weight in other people's patience. - John Updike Give a man health and a course to steer, and he'll never stop to trouble about whether he's happy or not. - George Bernard Shaw In neighborhoods without a usable park or playground, the incidence of childhood obesity increases by 29 percent. - Darell Hammond Transformation also means looking for ways to stop pushing yourself so hard professionally or inviting so much stress. - Gail Sheehy I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. - Hartman Jule I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon In soap, fatty acids made from boiling pork bone fat are used as a hardening agent, but also for giving it a pearl-like effect. - Christien Meindertsma The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright see also   Food  Section A Balanced Diet Balanced Diet Balanced Food Delivery Balanced Meal Beauty Bag Bus Wait Weight Coffee Spoon Diet Fork Diet Hard Diet Pills Diet Silverware Diet Spoon Diet Utensils Donut Sale Gin & Tonic Diet Important Health Information Jogger’s Weight Scale Learn To Cook Milkshake Diet My New Diet Obesity Is OK Reasons to Stop Dieting Squeegee Clothing Texas Diet Vodka Diet Weight Watchers Bus   From Start To Finish Milkshake Diet Hand Speech Software Cake Bland Entrance Preikestolen Pulpit Rock Redneck Firemen Side Rail Icy Grip Of Winter 2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3) Brace For The Resolutioners Shining Armor Knight Icicle Drinks Incontinent Pool Handstand Snowman Woke Up Early Sincere Compliment Snow Storage Redneck Winter Spa HoverCraft

17-Jan-2020