Wal-Mart customers soon will be able to sample a new discount item - Wal-Mart’s own brand of wine. The world’s largest retail chain is teaming with E&J Gallo Winery of Modesto, California, to produce the spirits at an affordable price: the $6-8 range. Wine connoisseurs may not be inclined to throw a bottle of Wal-Mart brand wine into their shopping carts, but there is a market for cheap wine, said Kathy Micken, professor of marketing at Roger Williams University in Bristol, R.I. “There is wine in a box that people are willing to buy,” she said. “The right name is important.”
Here are suggested names for Wal-Mart Wine:
15. Box O’ Grapes
14. Chateau Traileur Doublewide
13. White Trashfindel
12. Big Red Gulp
11. Grape Expectations
10. Domaine Wal-Mart "Merde du Pays"
9. NASCAbernet
8. Chef Boyardeaux
7. Peanut Noir
6. Blue Light Special Nun
5. Chateau des Moines
4. Martha Stewart’s Sour Grapes
3. I Can’t Believe It’s Not Vinegar!
2. World Championship Wriesling
1. Nasti Spumante
Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee
Adventure is the champagne of life. - G K Chesterton
Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder. - Addison Mizner
Does wine count as a serving of fruit? - Joe-kster
You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker
Every cask smells of the wine it contains. - Spanish Proverb
Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson
I'm Hybrid. I run on chocolate and wine. - Unknown
Compromises are for relationships, not wine. - Robert S Caywood
Good friends, like wine, get better with age. - Unknown
Wine is the most civilized thing in the world. - Ernest Hemingway
When life hands you lemons, make whiskey sours. - WC Fields
I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields
Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson
Some call it Cocktail Hour. To me, it's a support group. - Unknown
Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Wilhelm II
I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw
Drinking rum before noon makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic. - Unknown
I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields
Memorial services are the cocktail parties of the geriatric set. - Ralph Richardson
I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. - Benjamin Franklin
I'll have a "Cafe Mocha Vodka Valium Latte" to go, please. - Unknown
I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov
Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale
Kidney: 1. Midpoint of a child's leg; 2. An organ used to convert beer into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I'll bring ya a bottle of champagne. Maybe I'll even bring home a whole maggot. - Archie Bunker
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke
You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx
Measure thy life by loss instead of gain, not by the wine drunk, but the wine poured forth. - Harriet King
Jameson's Irish Whiskey really does improve with age: the older I get the more I like it. - Bob Monkhouse
Wine makes a man more pleased with himself. I do not say it makes him more pleasing to others. - Samuel Johnson
An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown
He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days. - Groucho Marx
Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. - Fran Lebowitz
Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism. - Carl Jung
I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. - Hunter S Thompson
If you have to choose between drinking wine every day or being skinny, which would you choose: Red or White? - Unknown
Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie
Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin
The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker
I have made an important discovery - that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication. - Oscar Wilde
Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe
Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown
When I have an idea, I turn down the flame, as if it were a little alcohol stove, as low as it will go. Then it explodes and that is my idea. - Ernest Hemingway
NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown
If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster
The simple act of opening a bottle of wine has brought more happiness to the human race than all the collective governments in the history of earth. - Jim Harrison
Adventure is the champagne of life. - G K Chesterton
Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder. - Addison Mizner
Does wine count as a serving of fruit? - Joe-kster
You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker
Every cask smells of the wine it contains. - Spanish Proverb
Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson
I'm Hybrid. I run on chocolate and wine. - Unknown
Compromises are for relationships, not wine. - Robert S Caywood
Good friends, like wine, get better with age. - Unknown
Wine is the most civilized thing in the world. - Ernest Hemingway
When life hands you lemons, make whiskey sours. - WC Fields
I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields
Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson
Some call it Cocktail Hour. To me, it's a support group. - Unknown
Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Wilhelm II
I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw
Drinking rum before noon makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic. - Unknown
I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields
Memorial services are the cocktail parties of the geriatric set. - Ralph Richardson
I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. - Benjamin Franklin
I'll have a "Cafe Mocha Vodka Valium Latte" to go, please. - Unknown
I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov
Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale
Kidney: 1. Midpoint of a child's leg; 2. An organ used to convert beer into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I'll bring ya a bottle of champagne. Maybe I'll even bring home a whole maggot. - Archie Bunker
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke
You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx
Measure thy life by loss instead of gain, not by the wine drunk, but the wine poured forth. - Harriet King
Jameson's Irish Whiskey really does improve with age: the older I get the more I like it. - Bob Monkhouse
Wine makes a man more pleased with himself. I do not say it makes him more pleasing to others. - Samuel Johnson
An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown
He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days. - Groucho Marx
Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. - Fran Lebowitz
Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism. - Carl Jung
I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. - Hunter S Thompson
If you have to choose between drinking wine every day or being skinny, which would you choose: Red or White? - Unknown
Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie
Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin
The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker
I have made an important discovery - that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication. - Oscar Wilde
Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe
Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown
When I have an idea, I turn down the flame, as if it were a little alcohol stove, as low as it will go. Then it explodes and that is my idea. - Ernest Hemingway
NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown
If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster
The simple act of opening a bottle of wine has brought more happiness to the human race than all the collective governments in the history of earth. - Jim Harrison
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