Rooster Retirement

Reaching KFC Heaven


A farmer goes out one day and buys a brand new stud rooster. The farmer puts the rooster straight in the pen so he can get down to business with the chickens.

The young rooster walks over to the old rooster and says “OK, old fellow, time to retire.”

The old rooster says, “You can’t handle all these chickens... look at what it did to me!”

The young rooster replies, “Now, don’t give me a hassle about this. Time for the old to step aside and the young to take over, so take a hike.”

The old rooster says, “Aw, c’mon… just let me have the two old hens in the corner. I won’t bother you,”

The young rooster says, “Scram! Beat it! You’re washed up! I’m taking over!”

So, the old rooster thinks for a minute and then says to the young rooster, “I’ll tell you what, young fellow, I’ll have a race with you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins the race gets domain of the chicken coop. And if I’m so feeble, why not give me a little head start?”

The young rooster says, “Sure, why not, you know I’ll still beat you,”

They line up in back of the farmhouse, get a chicken to cluck “Go!” and the old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off after him. They round the front of the farmhouse and the young rooster is only about 5 inches behind the old rooster and gaining fast.

The farmer, sitting on the porch, looks up, sees what’s going on, grabs his shotgun and BOOM! - he blows the young rooster to KFC heaven.

He shakes his head gloomily and says “Son of a gun... third gay rooster I bought this week!”




QuotaBills
Organic Farm: Tilling like it is - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Himalaya: A rooster that lays an egg - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Deviled Eggs: What wicked chickens lay - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'm too drunk to taste this chicken. - Colonel Sanders

Educate: To render harmless by cultivation. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You can't hatch chickens from fried eggs. - German Proverb

Maybe I should just go home and ride my tractor. - Chuck Grassley

Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse. - Groucho Marx

Appropriate rules cultivate a disciplined character. - Bill Welker

I had rather be on my farm than be emperor of the world. - George Washington

A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor. - Unknown

Writing is conscience, scruple, and the farming of our ancestors. - Edward Dahlberg

Farmers: Men successful only if they sell their farms to golf clubs - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Traveling through hyperspace ain't like dusting crops, farm boy. - Han Solo

Gentleman Farmer: One who has more hay in the bank thank in the barn - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It was so windy that one of our chickens laid the same egg four times. - Unknown

The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn't still be a farmer. - Will Rodgers

The best comfort food will always be greens, cornbread, and fried chicken. - Maya Angelou

Yesterday I told a chicken to cross the road. It said, "what for?" - Steven Wright

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. - Gloria Steinem

I love my squirrel and dumplings, but you can make it with chicken and dumplings. - Kay Robertson

I am obsessed with Costco. I love the salmon and rotisserie chicken, the dog beds. - Kris Jenner

My mother is no spring chicken although she has got as many chemicals in her as one. - Edna Everage

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring. - Jeff Foxworthy

Is this chicken or is this fish? I know it's tuna but it says chicken of the sea. - Jessica Simpson

Observe good faith and justice toward all nations. Cultivate peace and harmony with all. - George Washington

If a farmer fills his barn with grain, he gets mice; if he leaves it empty, he gets actors. - Bill Vaughan

I unfortunately still crave chicken McNuggets and bacon, which is the meat candy of the world. - Katy Perry

My brother thinks he's a chicken.
We don't talk him out of it because we need the eggs. - Groucho Marx

The first farmer was the first man, and all historic nobility rests on possession and use of land. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

It is only the farmer who faithfully plants seeds in the Spring, who reaps a harvest in the Autumn. - B C Forbes

The chicken probably came before the egg because it is hard to imagine God wanting to sit on an egg. - Unknown

When tillage begins, other arts follow. The farmers, therefore, are the founders of human civilization. - Daniel Webster

The attempt to combine wisdom and power has only rarely been successful, and then only for a short while. - Albert Einstein

I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Any processed chicken from any place - I'll order it in a heartbeat. I'm very picky about my pork, though. - David Chang

I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson

When bad men combine, the good must associate; else they will fall one by one, an unpitied sacrifice in a contemptible struggle. - Edmund Burke

I like a well-roasted rotisserie chicken and eggs cooked various ways like sunny-side up or scrambled. It's comfort food for me. - Joel Robuchion

It's life, isn't it? You plow ahead and make a hit. And you plow on and someone passes you. Then someone passes them. Time levels. - Katharine Hepburn


see also   Farm  Section
Cat Nap
Chick Incubator
Family Reunion
Flamingo Imposter
Hen Pecked
Mom Lookout
Once Is Never Enough
Prize Rooster
Super Hen

 

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26-May-2022