Rooster Retirement

Reaching KFC Heaven


A farmer goes out one day and buys a brand new stud rooster. The farmer puts the rooster straight in the pen so he can get down to business with the chickens.

The young rooster walks over to the old rooster and says “OK, old fellow, time to retire.”

The old rooster says, “You can’t handle all these chickens... look at what it did to me!”

The young rooster replies, “Now, don’t give me a hassle about this. Time for the old to step aside and the young to take over, so take a hike.”

The old rooster says, “Aw, c’mon… just let me have the two old hens in the corner. I won’t bother you,”

The young rooster says, “Scram! Beat it! You’re washed up! I’m taking over!”

So, the old rooster thinks for a minute and then says to the young rooster, “I’ll tell you what, young fellow, I’ll have a race with you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins the race gets domain of the chicken coop. And if I’m so feeble, why not give me a little head start?”

The young rooster says, “Sure, why not, you know I’ll still beat you,”

They line up in back of the farmhouse, get a chicken to cluck “Go!” and the old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off after him. They round the front of the farmhouse and the young rooster is only about 5 inches behind the old rooster and gaining fast.

The farmer, sitting on the porch, looks up, sees what’s going on, grabs his shotgun and BOOM! - he blows the young rooster to KFC heaven.

He shakes his head gloomily and says “Son of a gun... third gay rooster I bought this week!”




QuotaBills
Happiness is a habit - cultivate it. - Elbert Hubbard

Himalaya: A rooster that lays an egg - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Deviled Eggs: What wicked chickens lay - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Friccastewing a chicken on the hotplate - Archie Bunker

The thicker the hay, the easier it is mowed. - Alaric the Goth

You can't hatch chickens from fried eggs. - German Proverb

Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse. - Groucho Marx

Do not count your chickens before they are hatched. - Aesop

Appropriate rules cultivate a disciplined character. - Bill Welker

A good farm is recognized as good partly by its beauty. - Wendell Berry

If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages? - George Carlin

I had rather be on my farm than be emperor of the world. - George Washington

No farmer ever plowed a field by turning it over in his mind. - George E. Woodbury

I drove a tractor almost as soon as I could reach the pedals. - Sheri L. Dew

Writing is conscience, scruple, and the farming of our ancestors. - Edward Dahlberg

Farmers: Men successful only if they sell their farms to golf clubs - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Traveling through hyperspace ain't like dusting crops, farm boy. - Han Solo

Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow for those who do not. - Thomas Jefferson

The farmer allows walkers across the field for free, but the bull charges. - Unknown

We seem to want one vehicle to carry people and soccer balls and hay bales. - Franz von Holzhausen

Yesterday I told a chicken to cross the road. It said, "what for?" - Steven Wright

A good farmer is nothing more nor less than a handyman with a sense of humus. - E.B. White

Anytime you suffer a setback or disappointment, put your head down and plow ahead. - Les Brown

Farmers don't just work til the sun goes down; they work til the job gets done. - Unknown

Abundance: 1. Big party held in a bakery; 2. A social event held in a farm building. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Observe good faith and justice toward all nations. Cultivate peace and harmony with all. - George Washington

Put one foot in front of the other and keep going. Put blinders on and plow right ahead. - George Lucas

I unfortunately still crave chicken McNuggets and bacon, which is the meat candy of the world. - Katy Perry

Willingness to be puzzled is a valuable trait to cultivate, from childhood to advanced inquiry. - Noam Chomsky

Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor. - Helen Rowland

There are only three things that can kill a farmer: lightning, rolling over in a tractor, and old age. - Bill Bryson

When tillage begins, other arts follow. The farmers, therefore, are the founders of human civilization. - Daniel Webster

I spend hours mowing the lawn in absolutely straight lines on my tractor. If it's not right, I do it again. - Britt Ekland

Bruce Lee's fast pace, Jet Li's pretty style and Jet Li's acrobatics combine with Muay Thai for my own style. - Tony Jaa

I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson

The only difference between a pigeon and the American farmer today is that a pigeon can still make a deposit on a John Deere. - Jim Hightower

He who learns the rules of wisdom without conforming to them in his life is like a man who plows in his field but does not sow. - Saadi

Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp

I dream of the realization of the unity of Africa, whereby its leaders combine in their efforts to solve the problems of this continent. - Nelson Mandela

Music embodies feeling without forcing it to contend and combine with thought, as it is forced in most arts and especially in the art of words. - Franz Liszt


see also   Farm  Section
Cat Nap
Chick Incubator
Family Reunion
Flamingo Imposter
Hen Pecked
Mom Lookout
Once Is Never Enough
Prize Rooster
Super Hen

 

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Parking Justice

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16-May-2021