Rooster Retirement

Reaching KFC Heaven


A farmer goes out one day and buys a brand new stud rooster. The farmer puts the rooster straight in the pen so he can get down to business with the chickens.

The young rooster walks over to the old rooster and says “OK, old fellow, time to retire.”

The old rooster says, “You can’t handle all these chickens... look at what it did to me!”

The young rooster replies, “Now, don’t give me a hassle about this. Time for the old to step aside and the young to take over, so take a hike.”

The old rooster says, “Aw, c’mon… just let me have the two old hens in the corner. I won’t bother you,”

The young rooster says, “Scram! Beat it! You’re washed up! I’m taking over!”

So, the old rooster thinks for a minute and then says to the young rooster, “I’ll tell you what, young fellow, I’ll have a race with you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins the race gets domain of the chicken coop. And if I’m so feeble, why not give me a little head start?”

The young rooster says, “Sure, why not, you know I’ll still beat you,”

They line up in back of the farmhouse, get a chicken to cluck “Go!” and the old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off after him. They round the front of the farmhouse and the young rooster is only about 5 inches behind the old rooster and gaining fast.

The farmer, sitting on the porch, looks up, sees what’s going on, grabs his shotgun and BOOM! - he blows the young rooster to KFC heaven.

He shakes his head gloomily and says “Son of a gun... third gay rooster I bought this week!”




QuotaBills
Let's make hay while it lasts. - James Lovelock

Cursing the weather is never good farming. - English Proverb

The thicker the hay, the easier it is mowed. - Alaric the Goth

You can't hatch chickens from fried eggs. - German Proverb

I take my vacation on the combine and tractor. - Jon Tester

Maybe I should just go home and ride my tractor. - Chuck Grassley

Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse. - Groucho Marx

Do not count your chickens before they are hatched. - Aesop

Appropriate rules cultivate a disciplined character. - Bill Welker

If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages? - George Carlin

I drove a tractor almost as soon as I could reach the pedals. - Sheri L. Dew

Corn can't expect justice from a court composed of chickens. - African Proverb

We better not, ya know, kill our chickens before they cross the road. - Archie Bunker

Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow for those who do not. - Thomas Jefferson

It was so windy that one of our chickens laid the same egg four times. - Unknown

Work and pray, live on hay, you'll get pie in the sky when you die. - Joe Hill

The farmer allows walkers across the field for free, but the bull charges. - Unknown

We seem to want one vehicle to carry people and soccer balls and hay bales. - Franz von Holzhausen

A good farmer is nothing more nor less than a handyman with a sense of humus. - E.B. White

I used to practice my speeches on my tractor while I plowed my daddy's field. - Jim Hunt

I love my squirrel and dumplings, but you can make it with chicken and dumplings. - Kay Robertson

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring. - Jeff Foxworthy

Observe good faith and justice toward all nations. Cultivate peace and harmony with all. - George Washington

Genetic Engineering: A recent attempt to formalize what farmers have been doing all along. - Unknown

If a farmer fills his barn with grain, he gets mice; if he leaves it empty, he gets actors. - Bill Vaughan

I unfortunately still crave chicken McNuggets and bacon, which is the meat candy of the world. - Katy Perry

Cajun is country food by farmers and fisherman that arrived in Louisiana from Acadiana, Canada. - Paul Prudhomme

The first farmer was the first man, and all historic nobility rests on possession and use of land. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The chicken probably came before the egg because it is hard to imagine God wanting to sit on an egg. - Unknown

Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor. - Helen Rowland

If the rain spoils our picnic, but saves a farmer's crop, who are we to say it shouldn't rain? - Tom Barrett

Farming looks mighty easy when your plow is a pencil and you're a thousand miles from the corn field. - Dwight D Eisenhower

I spend hours mowing the lawn in absolutely straight lines on my tractor. If it's not right, I do it again. - Britt Ekland

Any processed chicken from any place - I'll order it in a heartbeat. I'm very picky about my pork, though. - David Chang

Bruce Lee's fast pace, Jet Li's pretty style and Jet Li's acrobatics combine with Muay Thai for my own style. - Tony Jaa

I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson

When bad men combine, the good must associate; else they will fall one by one, an unpitied sacrifice in a contemptible struggle. - Edmund Burke

A rooster crows only when it sees the light. Put him in the dark and he'll never crow. I have seen the light and I'm crowing. - Muhammad Ali

I dream of the realization of the unity of Africa, whereby its leaders combine in their efforts to solve the problems of this continent. - Nelson Mandela

Music embodies feeling without forcing it to contend and combine with thought, as it is forced in most arts and especially in the art of words. - Franz Liszt


see also   Farm  Section
Cat Nap
Chick Incubator
Family Reunion
Flamingo Imposter
Hen Pecked
Mom Lookout
Once Is Never Enough
Prize Rooster
Super Hen

 

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13-Dec-2019