Rooster Retirement

Reaching KFC Heaven


A farmer goes out one day and buys a brand new stud rooster. The farmer puts the rooster straight in the pen so he can get down to business with the chickens.

The young rooster walks over to the old rooster and says “OK, old fellow, time to retire.”

The old rooster says, “You can’t handle all these chickens... look at what it did to me!”

The young rooster replies, “Now, don’t give me a hassle about this. Time for the old to step aside and the young to take over, so take a hike.”

The old rooster says, “Aw, c’mon… just let me have the two old hens in the corner. I won’t bother you,”

The young rooster says, “Scram! Beat it! You’re washed up! I’m taking over!”

So, the old rooster thinks for a minute and then says to the young rooster, “I’ll tell you what, young fellow, I’ll have a race with you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins the race gets domain of the chicken coop. And if I’m so feeble, why not give me a little head start?”

The young rooster says, “Sure, why not, you know I’ll still beat you,”

They line up in back of the farmhouse, get a chicken to cluck “Go!” and the old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off after him. They round the front of the farmhouse and the young rooster is only about 5 inches behind the old rooster and gaining fast.

The farmer, sitting on the porch, looks up, sees what’s going on, grabs his shotgun and BOOM! - he blows the young rooster to KFC heaven.

He shakes his head gloomily and says “Son of a gun... third gay rooster I bought this week!”




QuotaBills
Organic Farm: Tilling like it is - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Farming is a profession of hope. - Brian Brett

Himalaya: A rooster that lays an egg - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Deviled Eggs: What wicked chickens lay - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You can't hatch chickens from fried eggs. - German Proverb

Life is simpler when you plow around the stump. - Unknown

Maybe I should just go home and ride my tractor. - Chuck Grassley

Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse. - Groucho Marx

Appropriate rules cultivate a disciplined character. - Bill Welker

Eating and reading are two pleasures that combine admirably. - C S Lewis

A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor. - Unknown

Writing is conscience, scruple, and the farming of our ancestors. - Edward Dahlberg

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you didn't cook it! - Gordon Ramsay

Gentleman Farmer: One who has more hay in the bank thank in the barn - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If you want chicken soup, you've got to put a chicken in the pot. - Joe Segal

It was so windy that one of our chickens laid the same egg four times. - Unknown

The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn't still be a farmer. - Will Rodgers

Work and pray, live on hay, you'll get pie in the sky when you die. - Joe Hill

I love my squirrel and dumplings, but you can make it with chicken and dumplings. - Kay Robertson

We need more young people involved in farming because the future needs real food. - Helena Sylvester

Anytime you suffer a setback or disappointment, put your head down and plow ahead. - Les Brown

Abundance: 1. Big party held in a bakery; 2. A social event held in a farm building. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring. - Jeff Foxworthy

Is this chicken or is this fish? I know it's tuna but it says chicken of the sea. - Jessica Simpson

Let us never forget that the cultivation of the earth is the most important labor of man. - Daniel Webster

If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens? - Seymour Cray

I unfortunately still crave chicken McNuggets and bacon, which is the meat candy of the world. - Katy Perry

In times of great stress or adversity, plow your anger and your energy into something positive. - Lee Iacocca

Life on a farm is a school of patience. You can't hurry the crops or make an ox in two days. - Haneri Liogier

Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor. - Helen Rowland

Farming looks mighty easy when your plow is a pencil and you're a thousand miles from the corn field. - Dwight D Eisenhower

The attempt to combine wisdom and power has only rarely been successful, and then only for a short while. - Albert Einstein

Bruce Lee's fast pace, Jet Li's pretty style and Jet Li's acrobatics combine with Muay Thai for my own style. - Tony Jaa

I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson

He who learns the rules of wisdom without conforming to them in his life is like a man who plows in his field but does not sow. - Saadi

When bad men combine, the good must associate; else they will fall one by one, an unpitied sacrifice in a contemptible struggle. - Edmund Burke

The difference between involvement and commitment is like an eggs and ham breakfast: the chicken was involved, the pig was committed. - Unknown

What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin. - Dave Attell

Music embodies feeling without forcing it to contend and combine with thought, as it is forced in most arts and especially in the art of words. - Franz Liszt

Lincolnshire is the Idaho of England. You were either going to drive a tractor for the rest of your life or head for the city to work in a factory. - Bernie Taupin


see also   Farm  Section
Cat Nap
Chick Incubator
Family Reunion
Flamingo Imposter
Hen Pecked
Mom Lookout
Once Is Never Enough
Prize Rooster
Super Hen

 

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03-Aug-2020