A 25-year-old supermarket shoplifter stuffed a pair of live lobsters in his pants and sprinted for the door, but he never had a chance. The violated crustaceans brought the thief to his knees in front of startled cashiers when they fastened their powerful claws around his delicate parts.
Doctors were able to remove the animals with pliers. They say the thief will fully recover - except for one small detail. “It was a do-it-yourself vasectomy.”
The supermarket manager declined to press charges, saying “the culprit has already gone through enough pain to learn his lesson.”
Doctor, Medical & Ouch Sections
Do You Have An HMO?
Mouthful Of Information
Happy Face Sandwich
Senior Eye Exam
Young Rock Star
Powerplant Swimsuit Models
Grow Food, Not Lawns
Long Yellow Things
Ants Know When Something Is Fake