News from the Iraq Front

Coded message reveals new technology



1. British News From the Iraq Front
“Umm Qasr is a city similar to Southampton,” UK defense minister Geoff Hoon
said in The Commons yesterday. “He’s either never been to Southampton, or
he’s never been to Umm Qasr” says a British Squaddie patrolling Umm Qasr.
He added: “There’s no beer, no prostitutes and people are shooting at us.
It’s more like Portsmouth.”

2. Coded Message from the Iraq Front
Bush got a coded message from Saddam. It read: 370HSSV-0773H
Bush was stumped and sent for the CIA.
The CIA was stumped too, so it went to the NSA.
The NSA couldn’t solve it either, so they asked Bill Clinton.
He suggested turning it upside down…

3. Breaking News from the Iraq Front
Breaking news... Iraq has launched a new type of missile at the Allied Forces
deployed in Kuwait. Details are sketchy at this time, but it appears to be a
new and improved Scud type missile.

Intercepted coded message from Iraq about Eiffel Tower rocket

The CIA is investigating just how and from whom Saddam has
acquired this new technology.

QuotaBills
No news is good news. - Ludovic Halevy

The current tax code is a daily mugging. - Ronald Reagan

My best code is written with the delete key. - Unknown

None loves the messenger who brings bad news. - Sophocles

The man who laughs has not yet heard the news. - Bertolt Brecht

No news is good news; no journalists is even better. - Nicolas Bentley

The town where I grew up has a zip code of E-I-E-I-O. - Martin Mull

Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq. - Fran Lebowitz

I like the Eiffel Tower in Las Vegas more than the actual one. - David LaChapelle

Gossip is just news running ahead of itself in a red satin dress. - Liz Smith

I won't be impressed with technology until I can download food. - Unknown

Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. - Arthur C Clarke

For most folks, no news is good news; for the press, good news is not news. - Gloria Borger

News events are like Texas weather. If you don't like it, wait a minute. - Jessica Savitch

It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity. - Albert Einstein

This is good news... If the Persians hide the sun, we shall do battle in the shade. - Herodotus

If you're offered a seat on a rocket ship, don't ask what seat! Just get on. - Sheryl Sandberg

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

It is better to be making the news than taking it; to be an actor rather than a critic. - Winston Churchill

If I had an ego as big as the Eiffel Tower, would I have won this many collective trophies? - Zlatan Ibrahimovic

Everyone has a right to a university degree in America, even if it's in Hamburger Technology. - Clive James

Years ago, I predicted that Iran would take over Iraq. Iran and Iraq used to fight back and forth. - Donald Trump

In the whole history of technology it would be difficult to find a greater single advance than this. - L.T.C. Rolt

Evening news is where they begin with "Good evening", and then proceed to tell you why it isn't. - Unknown

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

I love solving puzzles, I love finding my way around obstacles, and I love learning new things about technology. - Kevin Mitnick

In July of 2004, I came out strongly against the war with Iraq because it was going to destabilize the Middle East. - Donald Trump

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper. - Jerry Seinfeld

As I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind - every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder. - John Glenn

The Arc de Triomphe, the Eiffel Tower. They're monumental. They're straight out of Page 52 in your school history book. - Billy Crystal

As you've noticed, people don't want to be sold. What people do want is news and information about the things they care about. - Larry Weber

We live in a society exquisitely dependent on science and technology, in which hardly anyone knows anything about science and technology. - Carl Sagan

If one looks at the map of the world, it's difficult to find Iraq, and one would think it rather easy to subdue such a small country. - Vladimir Putin

I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons. - Ogden Nash

The Bush administration said today there is a lot of support for us to attack Iraq. Exxon, Mobil, Texaco, Chevron, they're all lining up. - Jay Leno

Oil prices have fallen lately. We include this news for the benefit of gas stations, which otherwise wouldn't learn of it for six months. - Bill Tammeus

NBC News just called it "The Great Freeze" - coldest weather in years. Is our country still spending money on the global warming hoax? - Donald Trump

I was never going to be a rocket scientist. But I found the field that I was blessed to be able to do, and I just put my whole effort into that. - Sonny B Williams

I'm readin' in the paper where the CIA is dopin' people up. Maybe somebody injected some of that LSD in the lady's cottage cheese. - Archie Bunker

If it's green, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it has numbers, it's math. If it doesn't work, it's technology. - Unknown


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03-Apr-2020