A man and his wife walked into a Dentist’s office. The man said to the Dentist, “Doctor, I’m in a big hurry! I have two buddies sitting out in my car waiting
for us to go play golf. So forget about the anesthetic and just pull the tooth
and be done with it - I don’t have time to wait for the anesthetic to work!”
The Dentist thought to himself, “My goodness, this sure is a very brave man,
asking me to pull his tooth without using anything to kill the pain.”
So the Dentist asked him, “Which tooth is it, sir?”
The man turned to his wife and said, “Open your mouth, Honey, and show the Doctor which tooth hurts.”
Irony is the hygiene of the mind. - Elizabeth Bibesco
We break bones and we lose teeth. We play rugby. - Martin Johnson
Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth. - Unknown
My friend has false teeth - with braces on them. - Steven Wright
Golf is an easy game, it's just hard to play. - Unknown
Golf is not so much a sport as an insult to lawns. - Unknown
Teetotaler: A golfer who only keeps track of drives - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out. - Paul Gallico
The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. - H G Wells
Trips to the dentist - I like to postpone that kind of thing. - Johnny Depp
The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf. - Will Rogers
Hold me, grip me, cherish me, pretend that I'm a golf club! - Unknown
Every tooth in a man's head is more valuable than a diamond. - Miguel de Cervantes
If I'm feeling really wild I don't floss before bedtime. - Judith Viorst
The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course. - Billy Graham
The man with a toothache thinks everyone happy whose teeth are sound. - George Bernard Shaw
It is after you have lost your teeth that you can afford to buy steaks. - Pierre Renoir
Income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. - Will Rogers
You know you're getting old if you have more fingers than real teeth. - Rodney Dangerfield
We do have a zeal for laughter in most situations, give or take a dentist. - Joseph Heller
Show me a good loser and I'll show you a man playing golf with his boss. - Unknown
I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie. - Rodney Dangerfield
It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. - Mark Twain
I have a constant sweet tooth, so I like anything from the bakery, like cupcakes, cookies. - Carmen Electra
Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket. - Ambrose Bierce
The only reason I ever played golf in the first place was so I could afford to hunt and fish. - Sam Snead
Hockey players wear numbers because you can't always identify the body with dental records. - Unknown
Don't you just hate it when you try to think of something other than golf... and you can't? - Mike Purkey
Of all the useless things a person can do, limerick writing is right up there with golf and fishing. - Garrison Keillor
Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny
The reason your golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so that you can't see him laughing. - Phyllis Diller
Some old women and men grow bitter with age. The more their teeth drop out, the more biting they get. - George D. Prentice
I live at the dentist's. I'm on my third set of teeth that they put in with nails and screws. - Charles N. Reilly
Golf is like any other sports competition. There is not a whole lot of point to it unless someone suffers. - Kevin Wohl
Most men would rather have their bellies opened for five hundred dollars than have a tooth pulled for five. - Martin H. Fischer
My parents live in a retirement community, which is basically a minimum-security prison with a golf course. - Joel Warshaw
Sometimes a man just can't satisfy all of a woman's desires. Which is why God invented dental floss. - Unknown
Give me my golf clubs, fresh air, and a beautiful partner, and you can keep my golf clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny
I'm 42 around the chest, 52 around the waist, 92 around the golf course, and a nuisance around the house. - Groucho Marx
The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green. - Ernest Hemingway
All satire is blind to the forces liberated by decay. Which is why total decay has absorbed the forces of satire. - Theodor Adorno
Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf. - Unknown
To the person with a toothache, even if the world is tottering, there is nothing more important than a visit to a dentist. - George Bernard Shaw
One lesson you better learn if you want to be in politics is that you never go out on a golf course and beat the President. - Lyndon B. Johnson
Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps. - Tiger Woods
I like cast iron coated with enamel for longevity and forgiveness if I happen to take my eyes off the prize while pouring Chianti. - Mario Batali
Sometimes, giving up your privacy is a little like going to the dentist and we have let him have access that no one's ever had. - Tom Petty
Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill designed for the purpose. - Winston Churchill
How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton
Zipper: Two rows of unsmiling teeth that often induce laughter in others, especially when inadvertently left open following a trip to the john - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
We break bones and we lose teeth. We play rugby. - Martin Johnson
Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth. - Unknown
My friend has false teeth - with braces on them. - Steven Wright
Golf is an easy game, it's just hard to play. - Unknown
Golf is not so much a sport as an insult to lawns. - Unknown
Teetotaler: A golfer who only keeps track of drives - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out. - Paul Gallico
The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. - H G Wells
Trips to the dentist - I like to postpone that kind of thing. - Johnny Depp
The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf. - Will Rogers
Hold me, grip me, cherish me, pretend that I'm a golf club! - Unknown
Every tooth in a man's head is more valuable than a diamond. - Miguel de Cervantes
If I'm feeling really wild I don't floss before bedtime. - Judith Viorst
The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course. - Billy Graham
The man with a toothache thinks everyone happy whose teeth are sound. - George Bernard Shaw
It is after you have lost your teeth that you can afford to buy steaks. - Pierre Renoir
Income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. - Will Rogers
You know you're getting old if you have more fingers than real teeth. - Rodney Dangerfield
We do have a zeal for laughter in most situations, give or take a dentist. - Joseph Heller
Show me a good loser and I'll show you a man playing golf with his boss. - Unknown
I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie. - Rodney Dangerfield
It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. - Mark Twain
I have a constant sweet tooth, so I like anything from the bakery, like cupcakes, cookies. - Carmen Electra
Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket. - Ambrose Bierce
The only reason I ever played golf in the first place was so I could afford to hunt and fish. - Sam Snead
Hockey players wear numbers because you can't always identify the body with dental records. - Unknown
Don't you just hate it when you try to think of something other than golf... and you can't? - Mike Purkey
Of all the useless things a person can do, limerick writing is right up there with golf and fishing. - Garrison Keillor
Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny
The reason your golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so that you can't see him laughing. - Phyllis Diller
Some old women and men grow bitter with age. The more their teeth drop out, the more biting they get. - George D. Prentice
I live at the dentist's. I'm on my third set of teeth that they put in with nails and screws. - Charles N. Reilly
Golf is like any other sports competition. There is not a whole lot of point to it unless someone suffers. - Kevin Wohl
Most men would rather have their bellies opened for five hundred dollars than have a tooth pulled for five. - Martin H. Fischer
My parents live in a retirement community, which is basically a minimum-security prison with a golf course. - Joel Warshaw
Sometimes a man just can't satisfy all of a woman's desires. Which is why God invented dental floss. - Unknown
Give me my golf clubs, fresh air, and a beautiful partner, and you can keep my golf clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny
I'm 42 around the chest, 52 around the waist, 92 around the golf course, and a nuisance around the house. - Groucho Marx
The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green. - Ernest Hemingway
All satire is blind to the forces liberated by decay. Which is why total decay has absorbed the forces of satire. - Theodor Adorno
Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf. - Unknown
To the person with a toothache, even if the world is tottering, there is nothing more important than a visit to a dentist. - George Bernard Shaw
One lesson you better learn if you want to be in politics is that you never go out on a golf course and beat the President. - Lyndon B. Johnson
Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps. - Tiger Woods
I like cast iron coated with enamel for longevity and forgiveness if I happen to take my eyes off the prize while pouring Chianti. - Mario Batali
Sometimes, giving up your privacy is a little like going to the dentist and we have let him have access that no one's ever had. - Tom Petty
Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill designed for the purpose. - Winston Churchill
How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton
Zipper: Two rows of unsmiling teeth that often induce laughter in others, especially when inadvertently left open following a trip to the john - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
see also Golf Section
Beautiful Bride - “In-dentured” For Life
Dental Checkup
Dentist Talk
Denture Cup
Dental Plan - Latest Extraction Technology
False Teeth
Hillbilly Tooth Fairy
Hippo Toothbrush
Modern Dentistry - Painful but Fast!
Nice Teeth For All The Crap He Eats
Pastor’s New Teeth
Pet Dentist
Redneck Bird Dogs
Staff Teeth
Uplifting Tooth Extraction
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09-Aug-2020 |