“No Time For Anesthetic” Golfer

Make sure the Dentist doesn’t slow down your golf game


A man and his wife walked into a Dentist’s office. The man said to the Dentist, “Doctor, I’m in a big hurry! I have two buddies sitting out in my car waiting for us to go play golf. So forget about the anesthetic and just pull the tooth and be done with it - I don’t have time to wait for the anesthetic to work!”

The Dentist thought to himself, “My goodness, this sure is a very brave man, asking me to pull his tooth without using anything to kill the pain.”

So the Dentist asked him, “Which tooth is it, sir?”

The man turned to his wife and said, “Open your mouth, Honey, and show the Doctor which tooth hurts.”


QuotaBills
Teeth are always in style. - Dr. Seuss

Never floss with a stranger. - Joan Rivers

All is fair in love and golf. - American Proverb

Golf is a puzzle without an answer. - Gary Player

Remorse is a violent dyspepsia of the mind. - Ogden Nash

The tongue is ever turning to the aching tooth. - Thomas Fuller

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth. - Unknown

My friend has false teeth - with braces on them. - Steven Wright

Golf is not so much a sport as an insult to lawns. - Unknown

Teetotaler: A golfer who only keeps track of drives - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Even pearls are dark before the whiteness of his teeth. - William R. Alger

When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit. - Unknown

You realize just how bad a golfer you are when you play with Freddie. - Donald Trump

Golf is a game in which you yell fore, shoot six, and write down five. - Paul Harvey

I don't need to know where the green is. Where is the golf course? - Babe Ruth

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

Too many of today's children have straight teeth and crooked morals. - Unknown

How has retirement affected my golf game? A lot more people beat me now. - Dwight D Eisenhower

They call it golf because all of the other four-letter names were taken. - Ray Floyd

I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators. - Gerald R. Ford

You know you're getting old if you have more fingers than real teeth. - Rodney Dangerfield

We do have a zeal for laughter in most situations, give or take a dentist. - Joseph Heller

Show me a good loser and I'll show you a man playing golf with his boss. - Unknown

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie. - Rodney Dangerfield

An aching tooth is better out than in.
To lose a rotting member is a gain. - Richard Baxter

I wanted to study to be a dental hygienist, marry a rich dentist, and hang it up. - Vicki Lawrence

If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. - Jack Lemmon

I still have my teeth. I don't want to lose them at age 61 in some hockey game. - Jim Flaherty

If suffering brought wisdom, the dentist's office would be full of luminous ideas. - Mason Cooley

I have a constant sweet tooth, so I like anything from the bakery, like cupcakes, cookies. - Carmen Electra

One of the quickest ways to meet new people is to pick up the wrong ball on a golf course. - Unknown

They say that life is a lot like golf - don't believe them. Golf is a lot more complicated. - Gardner Dickinson

If a tie is like kissing your sister, losing is like kissing your grandmother with her teeth out. - George Brett

I played golf. I didn't get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying. - Mitch Hedberg

Don't you just hate it when you try to think of something other than golf... and you can't? - Mike Purkey

The reason your golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so that you can't see him laughing. - Phyllis Diller

Some old women and men grow bitter with age. The more their teeth drop out, the more biting they get. - George D. Prentice

It is guaranteed to put all teeth on edge, including George Washington's, wherever they might be. - Vincent Canby

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill. - Johnny Carson

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. - Bob Hope

The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. - Bertrand Russell

Golf is like any other sports competition. There is not a whole lot of point to it unless someone suffers. - Kevin Wohl

I don't get off on romantic parts. But I often think if I had had my dental work done early on, well, maybe. - Morgan Freeman

Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf. - Unknown

Men will confess to treason, murder, arson, false teeth, or a wig. How many of them will own up to a lack of humor? - Frank Colby

Nothing soothes me more after a long and maddening course of pianoforte recitals than to sit and have my teeth drilled. - George Bernard Shaw

In California virtually everyone has had their teeth whitened. If they all smiled at once, they would give us a headache. - Garrison Keillor

It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker

I like cast iron coated with enamel for longevity and forgiveness if I happen to take my eyes off the prize while pouring Chianti. - Mario Batali

I had very good dentures once. Some magnificent gold work. It's the only form of jewelry a man can wear that women fully appreciate. - Graham Greene


see also   Golf  Section
Beautiful Bride - “In-dentured” For Life
Dental Checkup
Dentist Talk
Denture Cup
Dental Plan - Latest Extraction Technology
False Teeth
Hillbilly Tooth Fairy
Hippo Toothbrush
Modern Dentistry - Painful but Fast!
Nice Teeth For All The Crap He Eats
Pastor’s New Teeth
Pet Dentist
Redneck Bird Dogs
Staff Teeth
Uplifting Tooth Extraction

 

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25-Oct-2020