“No Time For Anesthetic” Golfer

Make sure the Dentist doesn’t slow down your golf game


A man and his wife walked into a Dentist’s office. The man said to the Dentist, “Doctor, I’m in a big hurry! I have two buddies sitting out in my car waiting for us to go play golf. So forget about the anesthetic and just pull the tooth and be done with it - I don’t have time to wait for the anesthetic to work!”

The Dentist thought to himself, “My goodness, this sure is a very brave man, asking me to pull his tooth without using anything to kill the pain.”

So the Dentist asked him, “Which tooth is it, sir?”

The man turned to his wife and said, “Open your mouth, Honey, and show the Doctor which tooth hurts.”


QuotaBills
Floss like a boss! - Unknown

Keep calm and floss on. - Unknown

Golf is a good walk spoiled. - Mark Twain

I'm a golfer, not an athlete. - Lee Westwood

Golf is a puzzle without an answer. - Gary Player

Remorse is a violent dyspepsia of the mind. - Ogden Nash

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth. - Unknown

Golf is an easy game, it's just hard to play. - Unknown

Too much freedom can lead to the soul's decay. - Prince

Love conquers all things - except poverty and toothache. - Mae West

The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. - H G Wells

Golf is a game where the ball lies poorly, and the players well. - Unknown

Be kind to your dentist because he has "fillings" too. - Unknown

I got a new set of golf clubs for my husband. Best trade I ever made. - Unknown

You realize just how bad a golfer you are when you play with Freddie. - Donald Trump

The man with a toothache thinks everyone happy whose teeth are sound. - George Bernard Shaw

Golf is a game in which you yell fore, shoot six, and write down five. - Paul Harvey

If a patient cannot clean his teeth, no dentist can clean them for him. - Martin H. Fischer

Income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. - Will Rogers

You don't have to brush your teeth - just the ones you want to keep. - Unknown

A man loses his illusions first, his teeth second, and his follies last. - Helen Rowland

If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business. - Joey Adams

How has retirement affected my golf game? A lot more people beat me now. - Dwight D Eisenhower

One advantage of golf over bowling is that you never lose a bowling ball. - Don Carter

In golf as in life, it's the follow-through that makes the difference. - Unknown

Show me a good loser and I'll show you a man playing golf with his boss. - Unknown

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret

I wanted to study to be a dental hygienist, marry a rich dentist, and hang it up. - Vicki Lawrence

For there was never yet a philosopher
That could endure the toothache patiently. - William Shakespeare

Logic is the hygiene the mathematician practices to keep his ideas healthy and strong. - Hermann Weyl

Adam and Eve had many advantages but the principal one was that they escaped teething. - Mark Twain

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. - Mark Twain

Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks, and hitting things with a stick. - P.J. O'Rourke

Of all the useless things a person can do, limerick writing is right up there with golf and fishing. - Garrison Keillor

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. - Bob Hope

The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. - Bertrand Russell

Golf is like any other sports competition. There is not a whole lot of point to it unless someone suffers. - Kevin Wohl

You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you. - Walt Disney

Most men would rather have their bellies opened for five hundred dollars than have a tooth pulled for five. - Martin H. Fischer

Sometimes a man just can't satisfy all of a woman's desires. Which is why God invented dental floss. - Unknown

Give me my golf clubs, fresh air, and a beautiful partner, and you can keep my golf clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

Men will confess to treason, murder, arson, false teeth, or a wig. How many of them will own up to a lack of humor? - Frank Colby

Nothing soothes me more after a long and maddening course of pianoforte recitals than to sit and have my teeth drilled. - George Bernard Shaw

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker

Golf is like a love affair: If you don't take it seriously, it's no fun; if you do take it seriously, it breaks your heart. - Arthur Daley

Sometimes, giving up your privacy is a little like going to the dentist and we have let him have access that no one's ever had. - Tom Petty

I had very good dentures once. Some magnificent gold work. It's the only form of jewelry a man can wear that women fully appreciate. - Graham Greene

If Obama resigns from office NOW, thereby doing a great service to the country, I will give him free lifetime golf at any one of my courses. - Donald Trump

I don't know him very well... I've played him at golf and beat him badly both times, and I think that probably had a negative impact on him. - Donald Trump


see also   Golf  Section
Beautiful Bride - “In-dentured” For Life
Dental Checkup
Dentist Talk
Denture Cup
Dental Plan - Latest Extraction Technology
False Teeth
Hillbilly Tooth Fairy
Hippo Toothbrush
Modern Dentistry - Painful but Fast!
Nice Teeth For All The Crap He Eats
Pastor’s New Teeth
Pet Dentist
Redneck Bird Dogs
Staff Teeth
Uplifting Tooth Extraction

 

Titanic's Non-Romantic Scene

Fake News

Steep Steps

Better Lawyer

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Snow Detour

No Time For This

Kwik-Mart Math

Croatian Landscaping

Best Fairy Tale

Back In Five Minutes

Winterized Motorcycle

If IKEA Ran GM

Six Hunnit

Different Drugs
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

26-Feb-2020