One Easter Sunday morning as the minister was preaching the children’s sermon, he reached into his bag of props and pulled out an egg.
He pointed at the egg and asked the children, “What’s in here?”
“I know!” Little Johnny exclaimed. “Pantyhose!”
Easter is never deserved. - Jan Karon
A good example is the best sermon. - Unknown
One good egg in a barrel of rotten apples. - Archie Bunker
The proverb answers where the sermon fails. - W.G. Simms
There would be no Christmas if there was no Easter. - Gordon B. Hinckley
Easter is very important to me, it's a second chance. - Reba McEntire
Those have a short Lent who owe money to be paid at Easter. - Benjamin Franklin
I'm Jewish, so I don't know much about Easter eggs. - Simon Kinberg
A woman can say more in a sigh than a man can say in a sermon. - Arnold Haultain
Easter is meant to be a symbol of hope, renewal, and new life. - Janine di Giovanni
No sinner is ever saved after the first twenty minutes of a sermon. - Mark Twain
It was so windy that one of our chickens laid the same egg four times. - Unknown
My idea of baking is buying a ready-make cake mix and throwing in an egg. - Cilla Black
My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg. - Rodney Dangerfield
My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper. - Amy Sedaris
I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller
Thank God I've got eyebrows like bacon, because I've always got egg on my face. - Jarod Kintz
Do not abandon yourselves to despair. We are the Easter people and hallelujah is our song. - Pope John Paul II
Being kissed by a man who doesn't wax his moustache is like eating an egg without salt. - Rudyard Kipling
The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it. - Ellen Glasgow
Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid. - Mark Twain
Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who live in hutches awaiting Easter. - Fran Lebowitz
The chicken probably came before the egg because it is hard to imagine God wanting to sit on an egg. - Unknown
A good sermon should have a good beginning and a good ending, and they should be as close together as possible. - George Burns
People judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold, but so has a hard-boiled egg. - Unknown
Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever. - Mark Twain
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible. - George Burns
A good example is the best sermon. - Unknown
One good egg in a barrel of rotten apples. - Archie Bunker
The proverb answers where the sermon fails. - W.G. Simms
There would be no Christmas if there was no Easter. - Gordon B. Hinckley
Easter is very important to me, it's a second chance. - Reba McEntire
Those have a short Lent who owe money to be paid at Easter. - Benjamin Franklin
I'm Jewish, so I don't know much about Easter eggs. - Simon Kinberg
A woman can say more in a sigh than a man can say in a sermon. - Arnold Haultain
Easter is meant to be a symbol of hope, renewal, and new life. - Janine di Giovanni
No sinner is ever saved after the first twenty minutes of a sermon. - Mark Twain
It was so windy that one of our chickens laid the same egg four times. - Unknown
My idea of baking is buying a ready-make cake mix and throwing in an egg. - Cilla Black
My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg. - Rodney Dangerfield
My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper. - Amy Sedaris
I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller
Thank God I've got eyebrows like bacon, because I've always got egg on my face. - Jarod Kintz
Do not abandon yourselves to despair. We are the Easter people and hallelujah is our song. - Pope John Paul II
Being kissed by a man who doesn't wax his moustache is like eating an egg without salt. - Rudyard Kipling
The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it. - Ellen Glasgow
Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid. - Mark Twain
Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who live in hutches awaiting Easter. - Fran Lebowitz
The chicken probably came before the egg because it is hard to imagine God wanting to sit on an egg. - Unknown
A good sermon should have a good beginning and a good ending, and they should be as close together as possible. - George Burns
People judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold, but so has a hard-boiled egg. - Unknown
Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever. - Mark Twain
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible. - George Burns
see also Easter & Little Johnny Sections
After Easter Bunny
Blonde’s Meaning of Easter
Broken Egg
Bunny Calendar
Chocolate Easter Bunnies
Chocolate Easter Eggs
Chocolate Math
Colour Car
Did You Say Happy Easter?
Dying Pope’s Last Request
Easter Bunny’s Hare Spray
Easter Bunny’s Rude Awakening
Easter Bunny Wisdom
Easter Canceled
Easter Car
Easter Cats
Easter Egg Drop-outs
Easter Elephant Eggs
Easter Identity Theft
Easter Sudoku Puzzle
Easter Yolks
Egg Couch
Egg Separator
Egg Walk
Eggs with Eyes
Eggsellent Close Shave
Eggsellent Friends
Firm Egg
Forgotten Easter Eggs
Golfer’s Breakfast
Happy Easter, Big Guy
Happy Keester
Hare Five
Hoppy Easter
How Easter Eggs Are Made
How Many Eggs?
Identity Theft
Jerusalem Obituary, 33 A.D.
Leaving A Good Impression
Missed Palm Sunday
Pine Trees Know When It’s Easter
Purrrfect Disguise
Rabbit or Duck?
Stuffed Bunny
Taking No Chance with the Mother-In-Law
Texas Easter Bunny
The Rules of Chocolate
The Crucifixion
The Resurrection
What Happened?
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