One Easter Sunday morning as the minister was preaching the children’s sermon, he reached into his bag of props and pulled out an egg.
He pointed at the egg and asked the children, “What’s in here?”
“I know!” Little Johnny exclaimed. “Pantyhose!”
Chicken: An egg factory - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The great gift of Easter is hope. - Basil C Hume
A good example is the best sermon. - Unknown
Hatchet: What a hen does to an egg - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Himalaya: A rooster that lays an egg - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Helicopter: An egg beater with ambition - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
One good egg in a barrel of rotten apples. - Archie Bunker
The proverb answers where the sermon fails. - W.G. Simms
May your life preach more loudly than your lips. - William E Channing
There would be no Christmas if there was no Easter. - Gordon B. Hinckley
Babylon: What the Preacher does during some sermons - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A hen is only an egg's way of making another egg. - Samuel Butler
Preach the gospel at all times. If necessary, use words. - St. Francis of Assisi
Easter is very important to me, it's a second chance. - Reba McEntire
Those have a short Lent who owe money to be paid at Easter. - Benjamin Franklin
I'm Jewish, so I don't know much about Easter eggs. - Simon Kinberg
A sermon is no sermon in which I cannot hear the heartbeat. - Henry Longfellow
Egg: 1. A day's work for a hen; 2. A bird's hometown. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A woman can say more in a sigh than a man can say in a sermon. - Arnold Haultain
Easter is meant to be a symbol of hope, renewal, and new life. - Janine di Giovanni
No sinner is ever saved after the first twenty minutes of a sermon. - Mark Twain
On Easter Day the veil between time and eternity thins to gossamer. - Douglas Horton
A sermon wept over is more acceptable with God than one gloried over. - Charles H Spurgeon
Easter says you can put truth in a grave, but it won't stay there. - Clarence W Hall
I once heard a preacher who sorely tempted me to go to church no more. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
I preach as never sure to preach again, and as a dying man to dying men. - Richard Baxter
Unless there is a Good Friday in your life, there can be no Easter Sunday. - Fulton J Sheen
If you preach to the hurts of people, you will never lack for an audience. - Joseph Parker
You can't preach it like it is if you don't believe it like it was. - Vance Havner
To love to preach is one thing; to love to whom you preach is quite another. - D. Martin Lloyd-Jones
The very first Easter taught us this: that life never ends and love never dies. - Kate McGahan
For I remember it is Easter morn, and life and love and peace are all new born. - Alice F Palmer
The preacher who can't broaden or deepen his sermons usually lengthens them. - Unknown
I am a story teller. If I wanted to send a message I would have written a sermon. - Phillip Pullman
My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg. - Rodney Dangerfield
My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper. - Amy Sedaris
The story of Easter is the story of God's wonderful window of divine surprise. - Carl Knudsen
I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller
Thank God I've got eyebrows like bacon, because I've always got egg on my face. - Jarod Kintz
He's so old that when he orders a three-minute egg, they ask for the money up front. - Milton Berle
Do not abandon yourselves to despair. We are the Easter people and hallelujah is our song. - Pope John Paul II
No man preaches his sermon well to others if he does not first preach it to his own heart. - John Owen
The devil will let a preacher prepare a sermon if it will keep him from preparing himself. - Vance Havner
Being kissed by a man who doesn't wax his moustache is like eating an egg without salt. - Rudyard Kipling
Easter is the only time when it's perfectly safe to put all of your eggs in one basket. - Evan Esar
Easter is a time when God turned the inevitability of death into the invincibility of life. - Craig D Loundsbrough
Whether you wind up with a nest egg or a goose egg depends on the kind of chick you married. - Unknown
A man must be orthodox upon most things or he will never have time to preach his own heresy. - G K Chesterton
Christ appeared alive on several occasions after the cataclysmic events of that first Easter. - Josh McDowell
The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it. - Ellen Glasgow
Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid. - Mark Twain
To a Christian, Easter Sunday means everything, when we celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ. - Bernhard Langer
The chicken probably came before the egg because it is hard to imagine God wanting to sit on an egg. - Unknown
The Honourable Lady was once an egg and people on both sides of this House greatly regret its fertilisation. - Nicholas Fairbairn
A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked. - Bernard Meltzer
I preach as though Christ was crucified yesterday; rose again from the dead today; and is coming back tomorrow. - Martin Luther
People judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold, but so has a hard-boiled egg. - Unknown
Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever. - Mark Twain
The Easter egg symbolizes our ability to break out of the hardened, protective shell we've surrounded ourselves with. - Siobhan Shaw
Preaching is not the art of making a sermon and delivering it. Preaching is the art of making a preacher and delivering him. - Bishop Quayle
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible. - George Burns
Some preachers think only of their sermon; others think only of themselves: the man who wins the soul is the man who aims at it. - Dean Hook
I don't like to hear cut and dried sermons. No - when I hear a man preach, I like to see him act as if he were fighting bees. - Abraham Lincoln
Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp
Animals are not our selfie props. If there's any risk that your photo is going to hurt or stress an animal, it's not worth it. - Angela Henderson
It goes back to Christianity's affiliation with Judaism as Passover. Easter is as important to Christians as Passover is to the Jews. - Glenn Duffy
The test of a preacher is that his congregation goes away saying, not, 'What a lovely sermon!' but, 'I will do something!' - Billy Graham
Passover and Easter are the only Jewish and Christian holidays that move in sync, like the ice skating pairs we saw during the winter Olympics. - Marvin Olasky
If a preacher is not first preaching to himself, better that he falls on the steps of the pulpit and breaks his neck than preaches that sermon. - John Calvin
God is on the lookout today for a man who will be quiet enough to get a message from Him, brave enough to preach it, and honest enough to live it. - Vance Havner
The great gift of Easter is hope. - Basil C Hume
A good example is the best sermon. - Unknown
Hatchet: What a hen does to an egg - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Himalaya: A rooster that lays an egg - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Helicopter: An egg beater with ambition - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
One good egg in a barrel of rotten apples. - Archie Bunker
The proverb answers where the sermon fails. - W.G. Simms
May your life preach more loudly than your lips. - William E Channing
There would be no Christmas if there was no Easter. - Gordon B. Hinckley
Babylon: What the Preacher does during some sermons - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A hen is only an egg's way of making another egg. - Samuel Butler
Preach the gospel at all times. If necessary, use words. - St. Francis of Assisi
Easter is very important to me, it's a second chance. - Reba McEntire
Those have a short Lent who owe money to be paid at Easter. - Benjamin Franklin
I'm Jewish, so I don't know much about Easter eggs. - Simon Kinberg
A sermon is no sermon in which I cannot hear the heartbeat. - Henry Longfellow
Egg: 1. A day's work for a hen; 2. A bird's hometown. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A woman can say more in a sigh than a man can say in a sermon. - Arnold Haultain
Easter is meant to be a symbol of hope, renewal, and new life. - Janine di Giovanni
No sinner is ever saved after the first twenty minutes of a sermon. - Mark Twain
On Easter Day the veil between time and eternity thins to gossamer. - Douglas Horton
A sermon wept over is more acceptable with God than one gloried over. - Charles H Spurgeon
Easter says you can put truth in a grave, but it won't stay there. - Clarence W Hall
I once heard a preacher who sorely tempted me to go to church no more. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
I preach as never sure to preach again, and as a dying man to dying men. - Richard Baxter
Unless there is a Good Friday in your life, there can be no Easter Sunday. - Fulton J Sheen
If you preach to the hurts of people, you will never lack for an audience. - Joseph Parker
You can't preach it like it is if you don't believe it like it was. - Vance Havner
To love to preach is one thing; to love to whom you preach is quite another. - D. Martin Lloyd-Jones
The very first Easter taught us this: that life never ends and love never dies. - Kate McGahan
For I remember it is Easter morn, and life and love and peace are all new born. - Alice F Palmer
The preacher who can't broaden or deepen his sermons usually lengthens them. - Unknown
I am a story teller. If I wanted to send a message I would have written a sermon. - Phillip Pullman
My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg. - Rodney Dangerfield
My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper. - Amy Sedaris
The story of Easter is the story of God's wonderful window of divine surprise. - Carl Knudsen
I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller
Thank God I've got eyebrows like bacon, because I've always got egg on my face. - Jarod Kintz
He's so old that when he orders a three-minute egg, they ask for the money up front. - Milton Berle
Do not abandon yourselves to despair. We are the Easter people and hallelujah is our song. - Pope John Paul II
No man preaches his sermon well to others if he does not first preach it to his own heart. - John Owen
The devil will let a preacher prepare a sermon if it will keep him from preparing himself. - Vance Havner
Being kissed by a man who doesn't wax his moustache is like eating an egg without salt. - Rudyard Kipling
Easter is the only time when it's perfectly safe to put all of your eggs in one basket. - Evan Esar
Easter is a time when God turned the inevitability of death into the invincibility of life. - Craig D Loundsbrough
Whether you wind up with a nest egg or a goose egg depends on the kind of chick you married. - Unknown
A man must be orthodox upon most things or he will never have time to preach his own heresy. - G K Chesterton
Christ appeared alive on several occasions after the cataclysmic events of that first Easter. - Josh McDowell
The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it. - Ellen Glasgow
Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid. - Mark Twain
To a Christian, Easter Sunday means everything, when we celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ. - Bernhard Langer
The chicken probably came before the egg because it is hard to imagine God wanting to sit on an egg. - Unknown
The Honourable Lady was once an egg and people on both sides of this House greatly regret its fertilisation. - Nicholas Fairbairn
A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked. - Bernard Meltzer
I preach as though Christ was crucified yesterday; rose again from the dead today; and is coming back tomorrow. - Martin Luther
People judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold, but so has a hard-boiled egg. - Unknown
Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever. - Mark Twain
The Easter egg symbolizes our ability to break out of the hardened, protective shell we've surrounded ourselves with. - Siobhan Shaw
Preaching is not the art of making a sermon and delivering it. Preaching is the art of making a preacher and delivering him. - Bishop Quayle
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible. - George Burns
Some preachers think only of their sermon; others think only of themselves: the man who wins the soul is the man who aims at it. - Dean Hook
I don't like to hear cut and dried sermons. No - when I hear a man preach, I like to see him act as if he were fighting bees. - Abraham Lincoln
Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp
Animals are not our selfie props. If there's any risk that your photo is going to hurt or stress an animal, it's not worth it. - Angela Henderson
It goes back to Christianity's affiliation with Judaism as Passover. Easter is as important to Christians as Passover is to the Jews. - Glenn Duffy
The test of a preacher is that his congregation goes away saying, not, 'What a lovely sermon!' but, 'I will do something!' - Billy Graham
Passover and Easter are the only Jewish and Christian holidays that move in sync, like the ice skating pairs we saw during the winter Olympics. - Marvin Olasky
If a preacher is not first preaching to himself, better that he falls on the steps of the pulpit and breaks his neck than preaches that sermon. - John Calvin
God is on the lookout today for a man who will be quiet enough to get a message from Him, brave enough to preach it, and honest enough to live it. - Vance Havner
see also Easter & Little Johnny Sections
After Easter Bunny
Blonde’s Meaning of Easter
Broken Egg
Bunny Calendar
Chocolate Easter Bunnies
Chocolate Easter Eggs
Chocolate Math
Colour Car
Did You Say Happy Easter?
Dying Pope’s Last Request
Easter Bunny’s Hare Spray
Easter Bunny’s Rude Awakening
Easter Bunny Wisdom
Easter Canceled
Easter Car
Easter Cats
Easter Egg Drop-outs
Easter Elephant Eggs
Easter Identity Theft
Easter Sudoku Puzzle
Easter Yolks
Egg Couch
Egg Separator
Egg Walk
Eggs with Eyes
Eggsellent Close Shave
Eggsellent Friends
Firm Egg
Forgotten Easter Eggs
Golfer’s Breakfast
Happy Easter, Big Guy
Happy Keester
Hare Five
Hoppy Easter
How Easter Eggs Are Made
How Many Eggs?
Identity Theft
Jerusalem Obituary, 33 A.D.
Leaving A Good Impression
Missed Palm Sunday
Pine Trees Know When It’s Easter
Purrrfect Disguise
Rabbit or Duck?
Stuffed Bunny
Taking No Chance with the Mother-In-Law
Texas Easter Bunny
The Rules of Chocolate
The Crucifixion
The Resurrection
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02-Jul-2022 |