Recession Boss

Office productivity during lean times



Your boss before the recession:  “Nice job!”
Recession Boss - cat pats duck on head

Your boss during the recession:  “Please put more effort into your work!”


Your boss after the Quarterly Report:  “I said, 'More effort!' ”


“The beatings will continue until morale improves!”



QuotaBills
He's done an amazing job. - Donald Trump

A career is a job that has gone on too long. - Jeff MacNelly

Acting is everybody's favorite second job. - Jack Nicholson

The beatings will continue until morale improves. - Unknown

Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream? - Homer Simpson

Find a job you like and you add five days to every week. - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Come forth, Lazarus! And he came fifth and lost the job. - James Joyce

You do your best work if you do a job that makes you happy. - Bob Ross

I think housework is the reason most women go to the office. - Heloise Cruse

Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world. - Lily Tomlin

I try not to worry about things I can't do anything about. - Christopher Walken

The new job of art is to sit on the wall and get more expensive. - Robert Hughes

In my house I'm the boss. My wife is just the decision maker. - Woody Allen

A pessimist is someone who makes difficulties of his opportunities. - Unknown

Pessimist: One who, when he has the choice of two evils, chooses both. - Oscar Wilde

I have no ambition to govern men; it is a painful and thankless office. - Thomas Jefferson

Stress is an important dragon to slay - or at least tame - in your life. - Marilu Henner

Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway. - Unknown

The job of an educator is to teach students to see vitality in themselves. - Joseph Campbell

You cannot spend your way out of recession or borrow your way out of debt. - Daniel Hannan

After I make a lot of money, I'll be able to afford running for office. - Christy Romano

The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any. - Fred Astaire

Pessimists are not boring. Pessimists are right. Pessimists are superfluous. - Elias Canetti

Personally, I'm against political jokes. Too often they get elected to office. - Henny Youngman

They say Rome wasn't built in a day, but I wasn't in on that particular job. - Brian Clough

The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another. - William James

Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime. - Scott Adams

I always try to go the extra mile at work, but my boss always find me and brings me back. - Joe-kster

From an early age I understood that cooking was never going to be a job, it's a passion. - Gordon Ramsay

Worry is like a rocking chair. It will give you something to do, but it won't get you anywhere. - Unknown

To me, job titles don't matter. Everyone is in sales. It's the only way we stay in business. - Harvey Mackay

Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity. - Erma Bombeck

I have a great, great company. I employ thousands of people. And I'm very proud of the job I did. - Donald Trump

Pessimism becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy; it reproduces itself by crippling our willingness to act. - Howard Zinn

Lord, if it's not your will, let it slip through my grasp. And give me the peace not to worry about it. - Tony A. Gaskins Jr.

They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer. - Milton Berle

I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. - Hartman Jule

Whenever you are asked if you can do a job, tell 'em, "Certainly I can!" Then get busy and find out how to do it. - Theodore Roosevelt

Keep your sense of humor. There's enough stress in the rest of your life to let bad shots ruin a game you're supposed to enjoy. - Amy Alcott

If you can't sleep, then get up and do something instead of lying there worrying. It's the worry that gets you, not the lack of sleep. - Dale Carnegie


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28-Jan-2020