My Father Is Gay (PG)

Little Johnny’s playoff hopes dashed

Little Johnny was in his 5th grade class when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up - fireman, policeman, salesman, etc.

Little Johnny was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father.

“My father’s an exotic dancer in a gay bar and takes off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes, if the offer is really good, he’ll go out to the alley with some guy and make love with him for money.”

The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some colouring, and took Little Johnny aside to ask him, “Is that really true about your father?”

“No,” said Little Johnny. “He plays for the Vancouver Canucks but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids.”


QuotaBills
I was playing a character. - Paris Hilton

Hire character. Train skill. - Peter Schutz

Hockey's my favorite sport. - Denis Leary

A rich man has no need of character. - Hebrew Proverb

Polite conversation is rarely either. - Fran Lebowitz

Character is perfectly educated will. - Novalis

Be polite to all, but intimate with few. - Thomas Jefferson

Fame is proof that the people are gullible. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Some guys play hockey. Gretzky plays 40-mph chess. - Lowell Cohn

A man's manner to a certain extent indicates his character. - Samuel Smiles

A person's character is but half formed till after wedlock. - Charles Simmons

Hockey seems completely lawless and, therefore, inexplicably sexy. - Rachel Nichols

The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn't said. - Peter F Drucker

Ability can take you to the top, but it takes character to keep you there. - Zig Ziglar

I wanted a man who wouldn't stray so I'm dating a guy on house arrest. - Kim Bove

The woman who can create her own job is the one who will win fame and fortune. - Amelia Earhart

When you think of hockey, when you think of Canada, you think of Wayne Gretzky. - Joe Sakic

Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other. - Erma Bombeck

Want to improve your relationships? See love as a verb rather than as a feeling. - Stephen R. Covey

Actions, looks, words and steps form the alphabet by which you may spell character. - Johann Kasper Lavater

No dignity, no learning, no force of character, can make any stand against good wit. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Love and respect are the most important aspects of parenting, and of all relationships. - Jodie Foster

Strength of character may be learned at work, but beauty of character is learned at home. - Henry Drummond

People seem not to see that their opinion of the world is also a confession of character. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Canadian hockey fans... They boo me every time I go anywhere. Because I play for Team USA. - Brett Hull

Your reputation is what you’re perceived to be, Your character is what you really are. - John Wooden

A man is literally what he thinks, his character being the complete sum of all his thoughts. - James Allen

Somehow a bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever. - Helen Rowland

Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power. - Abraham Lincoln

The best rule of thumb for character is to remember that if you can't be big, don't belittle. - Unknown

You do not play hockey for good seasons. You play to win the Stanley Cup. It has to be the objective. - Guy Lafleur

A man of character does not expect to be liked by everyone, nor does he worry about being liked by anyone. - Unknown

I love those hockey moms. You know what they say the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull is? Lipstick. - Sarah Palin

I have a huge interest in hockey because I grew up in Canada, where it's kind of the law that you love hockey. - Matthew Perry

A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty

A kind of banalization of celebrity has occurred: we are now offered an instant, ready-to-mix fame as nutritious as packet soup. - J G Ballard

It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker

Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns. - John Leonard

Never design your character like a garden where anyone can walk. Design your character like the sky where everyone's desire is to reach. - Unknown

Education commences on the mother's knee, and every word spoken within hearsay of little children tends toward the formation of character. - Hosea Ballou


see also   Hockey,  Little Johnny  &  Relationship  Sections

 

Double Handicap

Tetris Construction

Clorox Respirator

Our Aim

Truck Rest Stop

Romaine Empire

Hardworking Wife

What's That?

Long, Happy Marriage

Redneck iPad

Leonardo da Vinci's Unfinished Portrait

Microsoft Innovation

Mop Dog

Ventilated Bridge

Monkeying Around

Wing Support

Massage Therapist

Paper Wedding Dress

High Rise TV

Redneck Kickstand
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

28-May-2020