The Pastor’s Donkey

An animal that gets around town

Well, kiss my donkey!


The Pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.

The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and it won again.

The local paper read: “PASTOR’S ASS OUT FRONT.”
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.

The next day the local paper headline read: “BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR’S ASS.”
This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Pastor to get rid of the donkey. The Pastor decided to give it to a Nun in a nearby convent.

The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day: “NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.”
The Bishop fainted.

He informed the Nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey so she sold it to a farmer for $10.

The next day the paper read: “NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.”
This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the Nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.

The next day the headlines read: “NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.”
The Bishop was buried the next day.


The moral of the story: Stop worrying about everyone else’s ass and you’ll live longer!


QuotaBills
Plodding wins the race. - Aesop

Greyhound Trainer: A race cur driver - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Be not proud of race, face, place, or grace. - Charles H Spurgeon

Tattletale: Someone with a good sense of rumor - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

In the race for quality, there is no finish line. - David T. Kearns

As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Worry is interest paid on trouble before it falls due. - William R Inge

The finish line is just the beginning of a whole new race. - Susan Saint James

No farmer ever plowed a field by turning it over in his mind. - George E. Woodbury

I hate to spread rumours - but what else can one do with them? - Amanda Lear

Live so that the pastor won't have to lie at your funeral. - Phil Callaway

Don't use your energy to worry. Use your energy to believe. - Unknown

Don't worry about the horse being blind, just load the wagon. - John Madden

When the situation is hopeless, there's nothing to worry about. - Edward Abbey

The race is not always to the swift, but to those who keep on running. - Unknown

England is an empire, Germany is a nation, a race, France is a person. - Jules Michelet

The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn't still be a farmer. - Will Rodgers

Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy. - Leo Buscaglia

It's the steady, quiet, plodding ones who win in the lifelong race. - Robert W Service

Once upon a time, forests were repositories of magic for the human race. - John Burnside

Adam, the first great benefactor of our race. He brought death into the world. - Mark Twain

I have learned not to worry about love; but to honor its coming with all my heart. - Alice Walker

If you're doing your best, you won't have any time to worry about failure. - H Jackson Brown, Jr.

All that separates... race, class, creed, or sex, is inhuman, and must be overcome. - Kate Sheppard

If a farmer fills his barn with grain, he gets mice; if he leaves it empty, he gets actors. - Bill Vaughan

The first farmer was the first man, and all historic nobility rests on possession and use of land. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Worry is like a rocking chair. It will give you something to do, but it won't get you anywhere. - Unknown

You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do. - Olin Miller

If the rain spoils our picnic, but saves a farmer's crop, who are we to say it shouldn't rain? - Tom Barrett

In this age, the man who dares to think for himself and to act independently does a service to his race. - John Stuart Mill

Happy the man who has broken the chains which hurt the mind, and has given up worrying, once and for all. - Ovid

A man of character does not expect to be liked by everyone, nor does he worry about being liked by anyone. - Unknown

Lord, if it's not your will, let it slip through my grasp. And give me the peace not to worry about it. - Tony A. Gaskins Jr.

There seems to be no lengths to which humorless people will not go to analyze humor. It seems to worry them. - Robert Benchley

Worrying is a waste of time. It doesn't change anything. It messes with your mind and steals your happiness. - Unknown

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. - Matthew 6:34

How many ideas have there been in the history of the human race that were unthinkable ten years before they appeared? - Fyodor Dostoevsky

Our loyalties must transcend our race, our tribe, our class, and our nation; and this means we must develop a world perspective. - Martin Luther King Jr.

To be a star, you must shine your own light, follow your path, and don't worry about the darkness, for that is when the stars shine brightest. - Joe-kster

If you can't sleep, then get up and do something instead of lying there and worrying. It's the worry that gets you, not the loss of sleep. - Dale Carnegie


see also   Donkey  &  Religious  Sections
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02-Jul-2022