The Pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.
The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and it won again.
The local paper read: “PASTOR’S ASS OUT FRONT.”
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.
The next day the local paper headline read: “BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR’S ASS.”
This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Pastor to get rid of the donkey.
The Pastor decided to give it to a Nun in a nearby convent.
The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day: “NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.”
The Bishop fainted.
He informed the Nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey so she sold it to a farmer for $10.
The next day the paper read: “NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.”
This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the Nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.
The next day the headlines read: “NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.”
The Bishop was buried the next day.
The moral of the story: Stop worrying about everyone else’s ass and you’ll live longer!
Plodding wins the race. - Aesop
Greyhound Trainer: A race cur driver - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Be not proud of race, face, place, or grace. - Charles H Spurgeon
Tattletale: Someone with a good sense of rumor - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
In the race for quality, there is no finish line. - David T. Kearns
As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Worry is interest paid on trouble before it falls due. - William R Inge
The finish line is just the beginning of a whole new race. - Susan Saint James
No farmer ever plowed a field by turning it over in his mind. - George E. Woodbury
I hate to spread rumours - but what else can one do with them? - Amanda Lear
Live so that the pastor won't have to lie at your funeral. - Phil Callaway
Don't use your energy to worry. Use your energy to believe. - Unknown
Don't worry about the horse being blind, just load the wagon. - John Madden
When the situation is hopeless, there's nothing to worry about. - Edward Abbey
The race is not always to the swift, but to those who keep on running. - Unknown
England is an empire, Germany is a nation, a race, France is a person. - Jules Michelet
The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn't still be a farmer. - Will Rodgers
Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy. - Leo Buscaglia
It's the steady, quiet, plodding ones who win in the lifelong race. - Robert W Service
Once upon a time, forests were repositories of magic for the human race. - John Burnside
Adam, the first great benefactor of our race. He brought death into the world. - Mark Twain
I have learned not to worry about love; but to honor its coming with all my heart. - Alice Walker
If you're doing your best, you won't have any time to worry about failure. - H Jackson Brown, Jr.
All that separates... race, class, creed, or sex, is inhuman, and must be overcome. - Kate Sheppard
If a farmer fills his barn with grain, he gets mice; if he leaves it empty, he gets actors. - Bill Vaughan
The first farmer was the first man, and all historic nobility rests on possession and use of land. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Worry is like a rocking chair. It will give you something to do, but it won't get you anywhere. - Unknown
You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do. - Olin Miller
If the rain spoils our picnic, but saves a farmer's crop, who are we to say it shouldn't rain? - Tom Barrett
In this age, the man who dares to think for himself and to act independently does a service to his race. - John Stuart Mill
Happy the man who has broken the chains which hurt the mind, and has given up worrying, once and for all. - Ovid
A man of character does not expect to be liked by everyone, nor does he worry about being liked by anyone. - Unknown
Lord, if it's not your will, let it slip through my grasp. And give me the peace not to worry about it. - Tony A. Gaskins Jr.
There seems to be no lengths to which humorless people will not go to analyze humor. It seems to worry them. - Robert Benchley
Worrying is a waste of time. It doesn't change anything. It messes with your mind and steals your happiness. - Unknown
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. - Matthew 6:34
How many ideas have there been in the history of the human race that were unthinkable ten years before they appeared? - Fyodor Dostoevsky
Our loyalties must transcend our race, our tribe, our class, and our nation; and this means we must develop a world perspective. - Martin Luther King Jr.
To be a star, you must shine your own light, follow your path, and don't worry about the darkness, for that is when the stars shine brightest. - Joe-kster
If you can't sleep, then get up and do something instead of lying there and worrying. It's the worry that gets you, not the loss of sleep. - Dale Carnegie
Donkey & Religious Sections
Not A Shot Was Fired
Protect Your Ass
Royal Weather Forecaster
Mouthful Of Information
Happy Face Sandwich
Senior Eye Exam
Young Rock Star
Powerplant Swimsuit Models
Grow Food, Not Lawns
Long Yellow Things
Ants Know When Something Is Fake