Mother was having difficulty gulping down the birthday cake Little Johnny had made for her as a surprise.
When she finally finished, Little Johnny happily explained, “I’m so glad you like it, Mommy.”
“There should have been 34 candles on the cake, but they were all gone when I took it out of the oven.”
Necessity is the mother of attraction. - Luke McKissack
She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake. - Margot Asquith
This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother. - Ted Walsh
Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown
Obedience is the mother of success and is wedded to safety. - Aeschylus
A mother is a story with no beginning. That is what defines her. - Meghan O'Rourke
Her mother was a cultivated woman - she was born in a greenhouse. - Spike Milligan
The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. - E. Joseph Cossman
My mother hated me. Once she took me to an orphanage and told me to mingle. - Phyllis Diller
A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary. - Dorothy Fisher
There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. - Edith Wharton
The Iron Curtain may be a thing of the past, but Mother Russia is as mysterious as ever. - Robert Gottlieb
One of the most important things a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - Ray Chenoweth
My mom was fair. You never knew whether she was going to swing with her right or her left. - Herb Caen
The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness. - Honore De Balzac
I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail
If Joan of Arc could turn the tide of an entire war before her 18th birthday, you can get out of bed. - E. Jean Carroll
You really don't need to study how to change a diaper. As a new mom, you learn pretty darn quickly! - Ivanka Trump
My mother always used to say, "The older you get, the better you get. Unless you're a banana." - Betty White
I love those hockey moms. You know what they say the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull is? Lipstick. - Sarah Palin
In most homes, the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. - Evan Esar
You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.' - Jerry Seinfeld
When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child. - Sophia Loren
I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch." - Phyllis Diller
Chutzpa is that quality enshrined in a man who, having killed his mother and father, throws himself on the mercy of the court because he is an orphan. - Leo Rosten
She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake. - Margot Asquith
This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother. - Ted Walsh
Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown
Obedience is the mother of success and is wedded to safety. - Aeschylus
A mother is a story with no beginning. That is what defines her. - Meghan O'Rourke
Her mother was a cultivated woman - she was born in a greenhouse. - Spike Milligan
The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. - E. Joseph Cossman
My mother hated me. Once she took me to an orphanage and told me to mingle. - Phyllis Diller
A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary. - Dorothy Fisher
There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. - Edith Wharton
The Iron Curtain may be a thing of the past, but Mother Russia is as mysterious as ever. - Robert Gottlieb
One of the most important things a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - Ray Chenoweth
My mom was fair. You never knew whether she was going to swing with her right or her left. - Herb Caen
The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness. - Honore De Balzac
I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail
If Joan of Arc could turn the tide of an entire war before her 18th birthday, you can get out of bed. - E. Jean Carroll
You really don't need to study how to change a diaper. As a new mom, you learn pretty darn quickly! - Ivanka Trump
My mother always used to say, "The older you get, the better you get. Unless you're a banana." - Betty White
I love those hockey moms. You know what they say the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull is? Lipstick. - Sarah Palin
In most homes, the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. - Evan Esar
You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.' - Jerry Seinfeld
When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child. - Sophia Loren
I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch." - Phyllis Diller
Chutzpa is that quality enshrined in a man who, having killed his mother and father, throws himself on the mercy of the court because he is an orphan. - Leo Rosten
see also Birthday, Food, Little Johnny & Stress Sections
 Pool Painters |  Cocoon Stage |  Eye For Coffee |  Like No Udder |  Egyptian Pyramid Scheme |
 Hammock Kayak |  CARnivore |  Alligator Hallucinogens |  Step Lover |  Iron Horse Carriage |
 Anon-y-moose |  Kids Meal |  Close Today |  How Pitbulls Really Fight |  Grillbillies |
 Captain Literate |  Fossilized Sid |  Plenty Of Fish In The Sea |  Husband Colors |  Mac Supports Windows |
08-Apr-2020 |