The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident, an Anchorage man answered his door to find two grim-faced Alaska State Troopers.
When Alaska State Troopers bring you good and bad news
The best medicine is having a good wife. - Kin Hubbard Big sisters are the crab grass in the lawn of life. - Charles M. Schulz Love is a fair garden, and marriage a field of nettles. - Finnish Proverb Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has not pleasure. - Samuel Johnson Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same. - Oscar Wilde There's more to marriage than four bare legs in a bed. - English Proverb Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy. - Francois de La Rochefoucauld The secret to a happy marriage? Do what your wife tells you. - Denzel Washington A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Rodney Dangerfield My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal. - Rodney Dangerfield Marriage: A word which should be pronounced "mirage." - Herbert Spencer I'm having trouble managing the mansion. What I need is a wife. - Ella Grasso The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. - E. Joseph Cossman I met my wife on a ferry boat, and when we landed she gave me the slip. - Groucho Marx Marriage, like a submarine, is only safe if you get all the way inside. - Frank Pittman College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman. - Arnold Schwarzenegger When a man retires his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income. - Chi Chi Rodriguez If you treat your wife like a thoroughbred, you'll never end up with a nag. - Zig Ziglar When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. - Sacha Guitry Inspirations never go in for long engagements; they demand immediate marriage to action. - Unknown I believe in the institution of marriage, and I intend to keep trying until I get it right. - Richard Pryor Shady Character: A fellow who snoozes in a hammock under a tree while his wife mows the lawn - Daffynitions joe-ks.com Without the will, marriage is a mockery; without the emotion, it is a drudgery. You need both. - Ravi Zacharias The one charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both parties. - Oscar Wilde For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones Model Wife: One who, when she spades the garden, picks up the fish worms and saves them for her husband - Daffynitions joe-ks.com It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield When discovered by his wife, kissing the maid, Groucho said, "I was just whispering in her mouth". - Groucho Marx Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out. - Ogden Nash For twenty-four years I've been in love with the same woman. If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me. - Henny Youngman A little House well fill'd, a little Field well till'd, and a little Wife well will'd, are great Riches. - Benjamin Franklin Fishing Trip: Journey undertaken by one or more anglers to a place where no one can remember when it has rained so much - Daffynitions joe-ks.com Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home. - Rodney Dangerfield There is only one thing harder than looking for a dewdrop in the dew, and that is fishing for a clam in the clam chowder. - New England Proverb If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt Fall: The season when your wife buys new winter clothes so she will have something to wear when she goes out shopping for spring outfits - Daffynitions joe-ks.com My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle Being a dad isn't just about eating a huge bag of gummy bears as your wife gives birth. It means being comfortable with the word 'hero.' - Ryan Reynolds Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you. - Helen Rowland see also Fishing, Marriage, Police, Relationship & Stress Sections Scuba Diving Accident |
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