Cheating U.S. Politician in 2016
How To Win An Election

Once upon a time, there was a Presidential election that was too close to call. Neither the Republican presidential candidate nor the Democratic presidential candidate had enough votes to win the election.

After much talk about ballot recounting & court challenges, a week-long ice fishing competition between the two candidates seemed the best way to settle things. The winner would be the candidate who caught the most fish at the end of the week.

After a lot of back and forth discussion, it was decided that the contest would take place on a cold, remote lake in Maine. There were to be no observers present, and both candidates were to be sent out separately on this remote lake and return daily with their catch for counting and verification. At the end of the first day, Hillary Clinton returns to the starting line with 10 fish. Soon, Donald Trump returns and has zero fish. Well, everyone assumes he is just having a bad hair day or something and, hopefully, he will catch up the next day.

At the end of the second day, Clinton comes in with 20 fish and Trump comes in again with none. That evening, Trump’s campaign manager gets together secretly with Trump and says, “I think Clinton is a lowlife scheming cheat-her. I want you to go out tomorrow and don’t even bother with fishing. Just spy on her and see if she is cheating in any way.”

The next night (after Clinton comes back with 50 fish), the campaign manager says to Trump, “Well, what about it, is Clinton cheating’?”

“She sure is,” Trump replied. “She’s cutting holes in the ice.”


QuotaBills
I got bigger fish to fly - Archie Bunker

Politics is an inexact science. - Otto von Bismarck

In politics nothing is contemptible. - Benjamin Disraeli

Only dead fish swim with the stream. - Malcolm Muggeridge

You know why fish are so thin? They eat fish. - Jerry Seinfeld

Intelligence has nothing to do with politics. - Londo Molari

From politics, it was an easy step to silence. - Jane Austen

Turn on to politics, or politics will turn on you. - Ralph Nader

The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun. - R Buckminster Fuller

Government is an endless pursuit of new ways to tax. - Unknown

Self-government won't work without self-discipline. - Paul Harvey

A society of sheep must in time beget a government of wolves. - Bertrand de Jouvenel

Habitat: Place where a particular species of fish was last week - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It's a terrible shame that politics has become show business. - Sydney Pollack

Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie

University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small. - Henry Kissinger

A dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream. - WC Fields

Politics is the art of choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable. - John Kenneth Galbraith

Clement Attlee reminds me of a dead fish before it has had time to stiffen. - George Orwell

American Politics: A form of socialism for the rich, including the politicians. - Gregory Nunn

Everyone wants to eat at the government's table, but nobody wants to do the dishes. - Werner Finck

The first and worst of all frauds is to cheat one's self. All sin is easy after that. - Pearl Bailey

Governing a large country is like frying a small fish. You spoil it with too much poking. - Lao-Tzu

My brother Bob doesn't want to be in government - he promised Dad he'd go straight. - John F Kennedy

Politics is for people who have a passion for changing life but lack a passion for living it. - Tom Robbins

Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. - Unknown

Ex-Presidents of the United States get state subsidies. Not so in Russia. You get no government support. - Mikhail Gorbachev

I don't look for much to come out of government ownership as long as we have Democrats and Republicans. - Kin Hubbard

At present, our country needs women's idealism and determination, perhaps more in politics than anywhere else. - Shirley Chisholm

Taxpayer - someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take the civil service examination. - Ronald Reagan

Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote. - Benjamin Franklin

The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the poor to be corrupt, too. - Oscar Levant

I am sometimes a fox and sometimes a lion. The whole secret of government lies in knowing when to be the one or the other. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Very few of these panic-mongers have any personal knowledge of the countries that are already under blackshirt government. - Lord Rothermere

A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won't cross the street to vote in a national election. - Bill Vaughan

In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other. - Voltaire

Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first. - Ronald Reagan

Somebody just back of you while you are fishing is as bad as someone looking over your shoulder while you write a letter to your girl. - Ernest Hemingway

Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the Government take care of him, better take a closer look at the American Indian. - Henry Ford

I have long enjoyed the friendship and companionship of Republicans because I am by instinct a teacher, and I would like to teach them something. - Woodrow Wilson


see also   Fishing  &  Political  Sections
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26-Oct-2021