During a recent Donald Trump rally, a heckler from the audience hollered, “Hey Trump, where are you hiding your tax returns?”
The Donald politely responded, “I’ve found a very secure place where I’m certain they won’t be found.”
The insistent heckler, then shouted, “And just where is that, dummy?”
The Donald smiled and said, “They are underneath Obama’s college records, his passport application, his immigration status as a student, his funding sources to pay for college, his college records, and his Selective Service registration.”
“What’s your next question?”
My own tax expert, H & R Crock. - Archie Bunker
No taxation without regimentation. - Archie Bunker
The current tax code is a daily mugging. - Ronald Reagan
Taxation without representation is tyranny. - James Otis
I'm very strongly against tax increases. - Donald Trump
Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker
I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons. - Douglas Adams
The power to tax involves the power to destroy. - John Marshall
Government is an endless pursuit of new ways to tax. - Unknown
Thinking is one thing no one has ever been able to tax. - Charles Kettering
Jesus on Twitter would have been a pretty amazing thing. - Mark Batterson
There is no income tax in Russia. But there's no income. - Will Rogers
The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf. - Will Rogers
I think of lotteries as a tax on the mathematically challenged. - Roger Jones
No matter how bad a child is, he is still good for a tax deduction. - American Proverb
I wish the government would put a tax on pianos for the incompetent. - Edith Sitwell
The 3 fastest means of communication: Twitter; Telephone; Tell a woman. - Unknown
Income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. - Will Rogers
The tax collector must love poor people, he's creating so many of them. - Bill Vaughan
I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank? - Milton Berle
There's nothing like a two-hour tax appointment to make you question your career. - Shawn Hitchins
My twitter has become so powerful that I can actually make my enemies tell the truth. - Donald Trump
At the heart of the Irish economy has always been the philosophy of tax competitiveness. - Bono
Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is quite so satisfying as an income tax refund. - Unknown
Why do I have to follow CNN on Twitter? If I want to follow CNN, I can follow them on CNN. - Jon Stewart
The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin. - Mark Twain
A tax loophole is something that benefits the other guy. If it benefits you, it is a tax reform. - Russell B Long
There is one difference between a tax collector and a taxidermist - the taxidermist leaves the hide. - Mortimer Caplan
We don't seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and then tax it out of business. - Will Rogers
The wisdom of man never yet contrived a system of taxation that would operate with perfect equality. - Andrew Jackson
I could juggle anything in my day: balls, cigar boxes, knives. But I could never juggle my income tax. - WC Fields
It's triple the Trump this season... I invited my children, Don Jr. and Ivanka into the boardroom. - Donald Trump
Where there is an income tax, the just man will pay more and the unjust less on the same amount of income. - Plato
The seeds of learning can grow almost anywhere. Trump University and my other education-related ventures like... - Donald Trump
The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke
The biggest mistake we see companies make when they first hit Twitter is to think about it as a channel to push out information. - Tim O'Reilly
On my income tax 1040 it says, "Check this box if you are blind." I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away. - Tom Lehrer
Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket, or a holding pattern over Philadelphia. - Judith Viorst
These are stupid people that say, "Oh didn't Trump declare bankruptcy? Didn't he go bankrupt?" I didn't go bankrupt. - Donald Trump
I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle. - Winston Churchill
No taxation without regimentation. - Archie Bunker
The current tax code is a daily mugging. - Ronald Reagan
Taxation without representation is tyranny. - James Otis
I'm very strongly against tax increases. - Donald Trump
Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker
I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons. - Douglas Adams
The power to tax involves the power to destroy. - John Marshall
Government is an endless pursuit of new ways to tax. - Unknown
Thinking is one thing no one has ever been able to tax. - Charles Kettering
Jesus on Twitter would have been a pretty amazing thing. - Mark Batterson
There is no income tax in Russia. But there's no income. - Will Rogers
The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf. - Will Rogers
I think of lotteries as a tax on the mathematically challenged. - Roger Jones
No matter how bad a child is, he is still good for a tax deduction. - American Proverb
I wish the government would put a tax on pianos for the incompetent. - Edith Sitwell
The 3 fastest means of communication: Twitter; Telephone; Tell a woman. - Unknown
Income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. - Will Rogers
The tax collector must love poor people, he's creating so many of them. - Bill Vaughan
I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank? - Milton Berle
There's nothing like a two-hour tax appointment to make you question your career. - Shawn Hitchins
My twitter has become so powerful that I can actually make my enemies tell the truth. - Donald Trump
At the heart of the Irish economy has always been the philosophy of tax competitiveness. - Bono
Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is quite so satisfying as an income tax refund. - Unknown
Why do I have to follow CNN on Twitter? If I want to follow CNN, I can follow them on CNN. - Jon Stewart
The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin. - Mark Twain
A tax loophole is something that benefits the other guy. If it benefits you, it is a tax reform. - Russell B Long
There is one difference between a tax collector and a taxidermist - the taxidermist leaves the hide. - Mortimer Caplan
We don't seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and then tax it out of business. - Will Rogers
The wisdom of man never yet contrived a system of taxation that would operate with perfect equality. - Andrew Jackson
I could juggle anything in my day: balls, cigar boxes, knives. But I could never juggle my income tax. - WC Fields
It's triple the Trump this season... I invited my children, Don Jr. and Ivanka into the boardroom. - Donald Trump
Where there is an income tax, the just man will pay more and the unjust less on the same amount of income. - Plato
The seeds of learning can grow almost anywhere. Trump University and my other education-related ventures like... - Donald Trump
The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke
The biggest mistake we see companies make when they first hit Twitter is to think about it as a channel to push out information. - Tim O'Reilly
On my income tax 1040 it says, "Check this box if you are blind." I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away. - Tom Lehrer
Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket, or a holding pattern over Philadelphia. - Judith Viorst
These are stupid people that say, "Oh didn't Trump declare bankruptcy? Didn't he go bankrupt?" I didn't go bankrupt. - Donald Trump
I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle. - Winston Churchill
see also Government & Political Sections
Aeroflot Announcement
British Trump
Donald Trump Visits Israel
Donald Trump White House
IRS Middle Class Pencil Sharpener
New IRS Form
Queen Donald
Revenue Canada Simplified Tax Form
The Importance of Tax Return Accuracy
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