Sour Pharmacist

What doesn’t cure you ales you


Seamus went into a pharmacy in Dublin. He reached into his jacket pocket and took out a bottle of Irish whiskey and a teaspoon.

Seamus proceeded to pour some of the amber liquid into the teaspoon and offered it to the pharmacist.

“Could you taste this for me, please?” asked Seamus.

The pharmacist took the teaspoon into his mouth, swilled the liquid around and swallowed it.

“Does that taste sweet to you?”, says Seamus.

“No, not at all,” says the pharmacist.

“Oh, that’s a relief,” says Seamus. “Doctor Flannigan told me to come here and get my urine tested for sugar.”




QuotaBills
Anatomy is destiny. - Sigmund Freud

Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken

Grief is itself a medicine. - William Cowper

No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb

One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb

I'm so mean, I make medicine sick. - Muhammad Ali

Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer

The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker

Pain and suffering are God's megaphone. - C S Lewis

Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food. - Hippocrates

As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid

How much pain have cost us the evils that have never happened. - Thomas Jefferson

One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain. - Bob Marley

Medicine is a science of uncertainty and an art of probability. - William Osler

Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. - Tom Waits

I do believe that laughter is the best medicine - it cures everything. - Radhika Apte

The pain I feel now is the happiness I had before. That's the deal. - C S Lewis

The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard

To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings

It is my custom to call this book 'An Anatomy of All the Parts of the Soul.' - John Calvin

Everybody has losses - it's unavoidable in life. Sharing our pain is very healing. - Isabel Allende

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt. - Erma Bombeck

When you’re a nurse you know that every day you will touch a life or a life will touch yours. - Unknown

A life coach does for the rest of your life what a personal trainer does for your health and fitness. - Elaine MacDonald

Most ballet teachers in the United States are terrible. If they were in medicine, everyone would be poisoned. - George Balanchine

Give a man health and a course to steer, and he'll never stop to trouble about whether he's happy or not. - George Bernard Shaw

Health is your greatest wealth, so experiencing a marathon and seeing what you're capable of is really special. - Christy Turlington

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi

There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - Orison Swett Marden

The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

The pain started years ago, but I'd lived with it for so long at that point that I'd accepted it as an inevitable part of me. - Ashley Wallis

Mysterious love, uncertain treasure, hast thou more of pain or pleasure! Endless torments dwell about thee: Yet who would live, and live without thee! - Joseph Addison


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26-Jan-2021