Sour Pharmacist

What doesn’t cure you ales you


Seamus went into a pharmacy in Dublin. He reached into his jacket pocket and took out a bottle of Irish whiskey and a teaspoon.

Seamus proceeded to pour some of the amber liquid into the teaspoon and offered it to the pharmacist.

“Could you taste this for me, please?” asked Seamus.

The pharmacist took the teaspoon into his mouth, swilled the liquid around and swallowed it.

“Does that taste sweet to you?”, says Seamus.

“No, not at all,” says the pharmacist.

“Oh, that’s a relief,” says Seamus. “Doctor Flannigan told me to come here and get my urine tested for sugar.”




QuotaBills
Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken

Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid

Pain is temporary; quitting is forever. - Lance Armstrong

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

When life hands you lemons, make whiskey sours. - WC Fields

Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron

Leaders don't inflict pain; they share pain. - Max Depree

Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food. - Hippocrates

Health insurance should be a given for every citizen. - Jesse Ventura

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

Whether a person is a male or female, a nurse is a nurse. - Gary Veale

It is easy to stand a pain, but difficult to stand an itch. - Chang Ch'ao

Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid

How much pain have cost us the evils that have never happened. - Thomas Jefferson

Our health is a voyage and every illness is an adventure story. - Margiad Evans

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome

The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller

Confucius say: "Man who want pretty nurse, must be patient." - Unknown

Too much of anything is bad. Too much of good whisky is barely enough. - Mark Twain

I do believe that laughter is the best medicine - it cures everything. - Radhika Apte

One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love. - Sophocles

Out of suffering comes creativity. You cannot spell painting without pain. - John Lithgow

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

Jameson's Irish Whiskey really does improve with age: the older I get the more I like it. - Bob Monkhouse

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake. - WC Fields

A life coach does for the rest of your life what a personal trainer does for your health and fitness. - Elaine MacDonald

The trouble with putting armor on is that, while it protects you from pain, it also protects you from pleasure. - Celeste Holm

Pain is a sign that we are alive. Problems are a sign that we are strong. Prayer is a sign that we are not alone. - Unknown

Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health. - Julia Child

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

While some pain is probably inevitable in all relationships, successful couples are usually the ones who are able to forgive. - Ilona Boniwell

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

I pray for forgiveness. For help and guidance. To be a better person. For the health of my family. For the world to be a better place. - Tyson Fury


see also   Medical  Section
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Costco Whiskey
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Miss Beautiful Spine
Redneck Flu Shot
Restored Beauty
Self-Propelled Rocket
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05-Aug-2020