Seamus went into a pharmacy in Dublin. He reached into his jacket pocket and took out a bottle of Irish whiskey and a teaspoon.
Seamus proceeded to pour some of the amber liquid into the teaspoon and offered it to the pharmacist.
“Could you taste this for me, please?” asked Seamus.
The pharmacist took the teaspoon into his mouth, swilled the liquid around and swallowed it.
“Does that taste sweet to you?”, says Seamus.
“No, not at all,” says the pharmacist.
“Oh, that’s a relief,” says Seamus. “Doctor Flannigan told me to come here and get my urine tested for sugar.”
Anatomy is destiny. - Sigmund Freud
Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken
Grief is itself a medicine. - William Cowper
No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb
One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb
I'm so mean, I make medicine sick. - Muhammad Ali
Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer
The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin
The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker
Pain and suffering are God's megaphone. - C S Lewis
Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food. - Hippocrates
As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid
How much pain have cost us the evils that have never happened. - Thomas Jefferson
One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain. - Bob Marley
Medicine is a science of uncertainty and an art of probability. - William Osler
Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. - Tom Waits
I do believe that laughter is the best medicine - it cures everything. - Radhika Apte
The pain I feel now is the happiness I had before. That's the deal. - C S Lewis
The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard
To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher
Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings
It is my custom to call this book 'An Anatomy of All the Parts of the Soul.' - John Calvin
Everybody has losses - it's unavoidable in life. Sharing our pain is very healing. - Isabel Allende
I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx
There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt. - Erma Bombeck
When you’re a nurse you know that every day you will touch a life or a life will touch yours. - Unknown
A life coach does for the rest of your life what a personal trainer does for your health and fitness. - Elaine MacDonald
Most ballet teachers in the United States are terrible. If they were in medicine, everyone would be poisoned. - George Balanchine
Give a man health and a course to steer, and he'll never stop to trouble about whether he's happy or not. - George Bernard Shaw
Health is your greatest wealth, so experiencing a marathon and seeing what you're capable of is really special. - Christy Turlington
Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope
Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi
There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - Orison Swett Marden
The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler
My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle
I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman
I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield
The pain started years ago, but I'd lived with it for so long at that point that I'd accepted it as an inevitable part of me. - Ashley Wallis
Mysterious love, uncertain treasure, hast thou more of pain or pleasure! Endless torments dwell about thee: Yet who would live, and live without thee! - Joseph Addison
Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken
Grief is itself a medicine. - William Cowper
No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb
One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb
I'm so mean, I make medicine sick. - Muhammad Ali
Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer
The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin
The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker
Pain and suffering are God's megaphone. - C S Lewis
Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food. - Hippocrates
As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid
How much pain have cost us the evils that have never happened. - Thomas Jefferson
One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain. - Bob Marley
Medicine is a science of uncertainty and an art of probability. - William Osler
Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. - Tom Waits
I do believe that laughter is the best medicine - it cures everything. - Radhika Apte
The pain I feel now is the happiness I had before. That's the deal. - C S Lewis
The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard
To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher
Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings
It is my custom to call this book 'An Anatomy of All the Parts of the Soul.' - John Calvin
Everybody has losses - it's unavoidable in life. Sharing our pain is very healing. - Isabel Allende
I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx
There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt. - Erma Bombeck
When you’re a nurse you know that every day you will touch a life or a life will touch yours. - Unknown
A life coach does for the rest of your life what a personal trainer does for your health and fitness. - Elaine MacDonald
Most ballet teachers in the United States are terrible. If they were in medicine, everyone would be poisoned. - George Balanchine
Give a man health and a course to steer, and he'll never stop to trouble about whether he's happy or not. - George Bernard Shaw
Health is your greatest wealth, so experiencing a marathon and seeing what you're capable of is really special. - Christy Turlington
Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope
Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi
There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - Orison Swett Marden
The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler
My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle
I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman
I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield
The pain started years ago, but I'd lived with it for so long at that point that I'd accepted it as an inevitable part of me. - Ashley Wallis
Mysterious love, uncertain treasure, hast thou more of pain or pleasure! Endless torments dwell about thee: Yet who would live, and live without thee! - Joseph Addison
see also Medical Section
Bed Ridden and Proud Of It
Costco Whiskey
Daniel’s Lotion
Fishing Trip With Jack
Found The Jackpot
Little Drinking Problem
One Beer A Day
Smirnoff Women
Whiskey Around The World
Whiskey Jig
Whiskey Lurks Good
Whiskey Silly
Acupuncture Face
Arkansas Cure For Terminal Illness
Bandage Art
Bed Friends
Brain Warmer
Breast Cancer Cure
Car Bandaid
Celebrity Swine Flu Fatality
Chewing Gum Hazard
DentAid
Dr. Paul Dhillon - Sierra Leone Ebola Clinic
First Aid Responders
Flu Fashion
Dreaded Furniture Disease
Harley Half Ton
Help For Dead Children
Hygiene On The Farm
I Can Still Kiss You
Important Health Information
Irish Flu Shots
Is Laughter The Best Medicine?
Magnetic Personality
Mandage
Mechanical Patient
Miss Beautiful Spine
Redneck Flu Shot
Restored Beauty
Self-Propelled Rocket
Stool Fool
Suspicious Blood Donor
Swine Flew
Swine Flu Symptoms
Tampon Saves Marine’s Life
Teople Poo
Treadmill Workout
Twin Dish
Worst Aid
Zip Tie Prank
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