Sour Pharmacist

What doesn’t cure you ales you


Seamus went into a pharmacy in Dublin. He reached into his jacket pocket and took out a bottle of Irish whiskey and a teaspoon.

Seamus proceeded to pour some of the amber liquid into the teaspoon and offered it to the pharmacist.

“Could you taste this for me, please?” asked Seamus.

The pharmacist took the teaspoon into his mouth, swilled the liquid around and swallowed it.

“Does that taste sweet to you?”, says Seamus.

“No, not at all,” says the pharmacist.

“Oh, that’s a relief,” says Seamus. “Doctor Flannigan told me to come here and get my urine tested for sugar.”




QuotaBills
Anatomy is destiny. - Sigmund Freud

The first wealth is health. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb

I like my whiskey old and my women young. - Errol Flynn

The doctor is to be feared more than the disease. - French Proverb

Why is it we never get our bad medicine in small doses? - Edmund H North

Restore a man to his health, his purse lies open to thee. - Robert Burton

We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey. - Kenji Miyazawa

It is easy to stand a pain, but difficult to stand an itch. - Chang Ch'ao

If you ignore your health for long enough, it'll go away. - Unknown

One of the greatest pains to human nature is the pain of a new idea. - Walter Bagehot

Save one life, you're a hero. Save 100 lives, you're a nurse. - Unknown

Being in a good frame of mind helps one keep in the picture of health. - Unknown

The pain I feel now is the happiness I had before. That's the deal. - C S Lewis

One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love. - Sophocles

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer

We don't come to Canada for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves. - Prince Philip

Mental health problems do not affect three or four out of every five persons but one out of one. - William Menninger

A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown

Mental pain is less dramatic than physical pain, but it is more common and also more hard to bear. - C S Lewis

You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown

When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau

Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. - Abe Lemons

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

Give a man health and a course to steer, and he'll never stop to trouble about whether he's happy or not. - George Bernard Shaw

Just like a shoe, if someone is meant for you, they will fit just perfectly. No forcing, no struggling, and no pain. - Unknown

There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - Orison Swett Marden

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

It is astonishing with how little reading a doctor can practice medicine, but is not astonishing how badly he may do it. - William Osler

You can catch health, happiness, and success from others just as easily as you can catch worries, bitterness, and failure. - Dale Carnegie

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin

Lost wealth may be replaced by industry; lost knowledge by study; lost health by temperance or medicine; but lost time is gone forever. - Samuel Smiles

Every essential oil has a healing purpose. I think it's a great gift because it's something that elevates your mood and your health. - Yolanda Hadid

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer

There are three subjects on which the knowledge of the medical profession in general is woefully weak; they are manners, morals, and medicine. - Gerald F Lieberman


see also   Medical  Section
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14-Jul-2020