Seamus went into a pharmacy in Dublin. He reached into his jacket pocket and took out a bottle of Irish whiskey and a teaspoon.
Seamus proceeded to pour some of the amber liquid into the teaspoon and offered it to the pharmacist.
“Could you taste this for me, please?” asked Seamus.
The pharmacist took the teaspoon into his mouth, swilled the liquid around and swallowed it.
“Does that taste sweet to you?”, says Seamus.
“No, not at all,” says the pharmacist.
“Oh, that’s a relief,” says Seamus. “Doctor Flannigan told me to come here and get my urine tested for sugar.”
Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken
Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid
Pain is temporary; quitting is forever. - Lance Armstrong
God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin
When life hands you lemons, make whiskey sours. - WC Fields
Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron
Leaders don't inflict pain; they share pain. - Max Depree
Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food. - Hippocrates
Health insurance should be a given for every citizen. - Jesse Ventura
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx
Whether a person is a male or female, a nurse is a nurse. - Gary Veale
It is easy to stand a pain, but difficult to stand an itch. - Chang Ch'ao
Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid
How much pain have cost us the evils that have never happened. - Thomas Jefferson
Our health is a voyage and every illness is an adventure story. - Margiad Evans
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain
A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier
Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome
The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller
Confucius say: "Man who want pretty nurse, must be patient." - Unknown
Too much of anything is bad. Too much of good whisky is barely enough. - Mark Twain
I do believe that laughter is the best medicine - it cures everything. - Radhika Apte
One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love. - Sophocles
Out of suffering comes creativity. You cannot spell painting without pain. - John Lithgow
The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx
People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca
I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne
Jameson's Irish Whiskey really does improve with age: the older I get the more I like it. - Bob Monkhouse
If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman
Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake. - WC Fields
A life coach does for the rest of your life what a personal trainer does for your health and fitness. - Elaine MacDonald
The trouble with putting armor on is that, while it protects you from pain, it also protects you from pleasure. - Celeste Holm
Pain is a sign that we are alive. Problems are a sign that we are strong. Prayer is a sign that we are not alone. - Unknown
Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health. - Julia Child
Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope
The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers
While some pain is probably inevitable in all relationships, successful couples are usually the ones who are able to forgive. - Ilona Boniwell
A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer
I pray for forgiveness. For help and guidance. To be a better person. For the health of my family. For the world to be a better place. - Tyson Fury
Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid
Pain is temporary; quitting is forever. - Lance Armstrong
God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin
When life hands you lemons, make whiskey sours. - WC Fields
Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron
Leaders don't inflict pain; they share pain. - Max Depree
Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food. - Hippocrates
Health insurance should be a given for every citizen. - Jesse Ventura
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx
Whether a person is a male or female, a nurse is a nurse. - Gary Veale
It is easy to stand a pain, but difficult to stand an itch. - Chang Ch'ao
Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid
How much pain have cost us the evils that have never happened. - Thomas Jefferson
Our health is a voyage and every illness is an adventure story. - Margiad Evans
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain
A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier
Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome
The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller
Confucius say: "Man who want pretty nurse, must be patient." - Unknown
Too much of anything is bad. Too much of good whisky is barely enough. - Mark Twain
I do believe that laughter is the best medicine - it cures everything. - Radhika Apte
One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love. - Sophocles
Out of suffering comes creativity. You cannot spell painting without pain. - John Lithgow
The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx
People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca
I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne
Jameson's Irish Whiskey really does improve with age: the older I get the more I like it. - Bob Monkhouse
If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman
Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake. - WC Fields
A life coach does for the rest of your life what a personal trainer does for your health and fitness. - Elaine MacDonald
The trouble with putting armor on is that, while it protects you from pain, it also protects you from pleasure. - Celeste Holm
Pain is a sign that we are alive. Problems are a sign that we are strong. Prayer is a sign that we are not alone. - Unknown
Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health. - Julia Child
Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope
The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers
While some pain is probably inevitable in all relationships, successful couples are usually the ones who are able to forgive. - Ilona Boniwell
A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer
I pray for forgiveness. For help and guidance. To be a better person. For the health of my family. For the world to be a better place. - Tyson Fury
see also Medical Section
Bed Ridden and Proud Of It
Costco Whiskey
Daniel’s Lotion
Fishing Trip With Jack
Found The Jackpot
Little Drinking Problem
One Beer A Day
Smirnoff Women
Whiskey Around The World
Whiskey Jig
Whiskey Lurks Good
Whiskey Silly
Acupuncture Face
Arkansas Cure For Terminal Illness
Bandage Art
Bed Friends
Brain Warmer
Breast Cancer Cure
Car Bandaid
Celebrity Swine Flu Fatality
Chewing Gum Hazard
DentAid
Dr. Paul Dhillon - Sierra Leone Ebola Clinic
First Aid Responders
Flu Fashion
Dreaded Furniture Disease
Harley Half Ton
Help For Dead Children
Hygiene On The Farm
I Can Still Kiss You
Important Health Information
Irish Flu Shots
Is Laughter The Best Medicine?
Magnetic Personality
Mandage
Mechanical Patient
Miss Beautiful Spine
Redneck Flu Shot
Restored Beauty
Self-Propelled Rocket
Stool Fool
Suspicious Blood Donor
Swine Flew
Swine Flu Symptoms
Tampon Saves Marine’s Life
Teople Poo
Treadmill Workout
Twin Dish
Worst Aid
Zip Tie Prank
 Soldier Salute |  Miss Afghanistan Finalists |  Beware Of Log |  Horse Wood Sculpture |  Redneck Genealogy Lesson |
 Phun with Physics |  Saskatchewan Harley |  I Don't Want To Get My Pants Wet |  Christopher Walken |  Secret Passage |
 Redneck Wheelchair Stroller |  Best Hands-On Coverage |  When Air Was Free |  Changing Priorities Ahead |  Expired Marriage |
 No Flies On Me |  Goose Walkers |  Read Your Book Case |  Trash Bin Parking |  Train Hits Deer |
05-Aug-2020 |