Seamus went into a pharmacy in Dublin. He reached into his jacket pocket and took out a bottle of Irish whiskey and a teaspoon.
Seamus proceeded to pour some of the amber liquid into the teaspoon and offered it to the pharmacist.
“Could you taste this for me, please?” asked Seamus.
The pharmacist took the teaspoon into his mouth, swilled the liquid around and swallowed it.
“Does that taste sweet to you?”, says Seamus.
“No, not at all,” says the pharmacist.
“Oh, that’s a relief,” says Seamus. “Doctor Flannigan told me to come here and get my urine tested for sugar.”
Grief is itself a medicine. - William Cowper
The greatest wealth is health. - Virgil
Logic is the anatomy of thought. - Albert Einstein
Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid
Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron
A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain. - WC Fields
After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields
I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper
A nurse will always give us hope, an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets
Document: Repeating what your Doctor told you in your own words - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. - Tom Waits
Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome
Water, air, and cleanliness are the chief articles in my pharmacy. - Napoleon Bonaparte
My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes
Medicine is only for those who cannot imagine doing anything else. - Luanda Grazette
Suicide doesn't end the pain. It just passes it on to someone else. - James Kirkup
Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher
Humor does not diminish the pain - it makes the space around it get bigger. - Allen Klein
Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield
You care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it. - J K Rowling
The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire
It is my custom to call this book 'An Anatomy of All the Parts of the Soul.' - John Calvin
Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle
Having insurance doesn't guarantee good health outcomes, but it is a critical factor. - Irwin Redlener
I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx
We go by the major vote, and if the majority are insane, the sane must go to the hospital. - Horace Mann
If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman
The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire
I figure if I have my health, can pay the rent and I have my friends, I call it "content." - Lauren Bacall
My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau
They have gun control in Cuba. They have universal health care in Cuba. So why do they want to come here? - Paul Harvey
Meaninglessness does not come from being weary of pain; meaninglessness comes from being weary of pleasure. - G K Chesterton
When wealth is lost, nothing is lost. When health is lost, something is lost. When character is lost, all is lost. - Rev. Billy Graham
Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw
The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers
You can catch health, happiness, and success from others just as easily as you can catch worries, bitterness, and failure. - Dale Carnegie
While some pain is probably inevitable in all relationships, successful couples are usually the ones who are able to forgive. - Ilona Boniwell
I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield
In those days the best painkiller was ice. It wasn't addictive, and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it. - George Burns
My Doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab. - Rodney Dangerfield
The greatest wealth is health. - Virgil
Logic is the anatomy of thought. - Albert Einstein
Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid
Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron
A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain. - WC Fields
After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields
I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper
A nurse will always give us hope, an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets
Document: Repeating what your Doctor told you in your own words - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. - Tom Waits
Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome
Water, air, and cleanliness are the chief articles in my pharmacy. - Napoleon Bonaparte
My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes
Medicine is only for those who cannot imagine doing anything else. - Luanda Grazette
Suicide doesn't end the pain. It just passes it on to someone else. - James Kirkup
Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher
Humor does not diminish the pain - it makes the space around it get bigger. - Allen Klein
Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield
You care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it. - J K Rowling
The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire
It is my custom to call this book 'An Anatomy of All the Parts of the Soul.' - John Calvin
Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle
Having insurance doesn't guarantee good health outcomes, but it is a critical factor. - Irwin Redlener
I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx
We go by the major vote, and if the majority are insane, the sane must go to the hospital. - Horace Mann
If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman
The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire
I figure if I have my health, can pay the rent and I have my friends, I call it "content." - Lauren Bacall
My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau
They have gun control in Cuba. They have universal health care in Cuba. So why do they want to come here? - Paul Harvey
Meaninglessness does not come from being weary of pain; meaninglessness comes from being weary of pleasure. - G K Chesterton
When wealth is lost, nothing is lost. When health is lost, something is lost. When character is lost, all is lost. - Rev. Billy Graham
Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw
The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers
You can catch health, happiness, and success from others just as easily as you can catch worries, bitterness, and failure. - Dale Carnegie
While some pain is probably inevitable in all relationships, successful couples are usually the ones who are able to forgive. - Ilona Boniwell
I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield
In those days the best painkiller was ice. It wasn't addictive, and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it. - George Burns
My Doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab. - Rodney Dangerfield
see also Medical Section
Bed Ridden and Proud Of It
Costco Whiskey
Daniel’s Lotion
Fishing Trip With Jack
Found The Jackpot
Little Drinking Problem
One Beer A Day
Smirnoff Women
Whiskey Around The World
Whiskey Jig
Whiskey Lurks Good
Whiskey Silly
Acupuncture Face
Arkansas Cure For Terminal Illness
Bandage Art
Bed Friends
Brain Warmer
Breast Cancer Cure
Car Bandaid
Celebrity Swine Flu Fatality
Chewing Gum Hazard
DentAid
Dr. Paul Dhillon - Sierra Leone Ebola Clinic
First Aid Responders
Flu Fashion
Dreaded Furniture Disease
Harley Half Ton
Help For Dead Children
Hygiene On The Farm
I Can Still Kiss You
Important Health Information
Irish Flu Shots
Is Laughter The Best Medicine?
Magnetic Personality
Mandage
Mechanical Patient
Miss Beautiful Spine
Redneck Flu Shot
Restored Beauty
Self-Propelled Rocket
Stool Fool
Suspicious Blood Donor
Swine Flew
Swine Flu Symptoms
Tampon Saves Marine’s Life
Teople Poo
Treadmill Workout
Twin Dish
Worst Aid
Zip Tie Prank
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 Going Around In Circles |  Whiskey Jig |  Redneck Mercedes |  Hala Fruit |  Hydro Water Power |
21-Oct-2020 |