Sour Pharmacist

What doesn’t cure you ales you


Seamus went into a pharmacy in Dublin. He reached into his jacket pocket and took out a bottle of Irish whiskey and a teaspoon.

Seamus proceeded to pour some of the amber liquid into the teaspoon and offered it to the pharmacist.

“Could you taste this for me, please?” asked Seamus.

The pharmacist took the teaspoon into his mouth, swilled the liquid around and swallowed it.

“Does that taste sweet to you?”, says Seamus.

“No, not at all,” says the pharmacist.

“Oh, that’s a relief,” says Seamus. “Doctor Flannigan told me to come here and get my urine tested for sugar.”




QuotaBills
Pain should not be wasted. - Gerda W Klein

Society is a hospital of incurables. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The best medicine is having a good wife. - Kin Hubbard

No medicine cures what happiness cannot. - Gabriel G Marquez

Leaders don't inflict pain; they share pain. - Max Depree

Health insurance should be a given for every citizen. - Jesse Ventura

Surgeon: The person who was a cut-up at medical school - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Through pain I've learned to comfort suffering men. - Virgil

Drown in a vat of whiskey? Oh death, where is thy sting? - WC Fields

He who enjoys good health is rich, though he knows it not. - Italian Proverb

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. - Albert Schweitzer

Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid

One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain. - Bob Marley

Document: Repeating what your Doctor told you in your own words - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying

Fond of lawsuits, little wealth; fond of doctors, little health. - Hebrew Proverb

One of the greatest pains to human nature is the pain of a new idea. - Walter Bagehot

Suicide doesn't end the pain. It just passes it on to someone else. - James Kirkup

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

Health care's not about insurance! Health care's about getting treatment. - P.J. O'Rourke

Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham

No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild

Having insurance doesn't guarantee good health outcomes, but it is a critical factor. - Irwin Redlener

There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt. - Erma Bombeck

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake. - WC Fields

You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman

God, who foresaw your tribulation, has specially armed you to go through it, not without pain but without stain. - C S Lewis

The more pain that's referenced or implied, the deeper the laugh can be because the laughter heals the pain. - Mimi Kennedy

What some call health, if purchased by perpetual anxiety about diet, isn't much better than tedious disease. - Alexander Pope

Health is your greatest wealth, so experiencing a marathon and seeing what you're capable of is really special. - Christy Turlington

Just like a shoe, if someone is meant for you, they will fit just perfectly. No forcing, no struggling, and no pain. - Unknown

It was so quiet, a reservation kind of quiet, where you can hear somebody drinking whiskey on the rocks three miles away. - Sherman Alexie

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

There are two ways you can get through pain. You can let it destroy you, or you can use it as fuel to drive you: to dream bigger, to work harder. - Taylor Swift


see also   Medical  Section
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Restored Beauty
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29-May-2022