Sour Pharmacist

What doesn’t cure you ales you


Seamus went into a pharmacy in Dublin. He reached into his jacket pocket and took out a bottle of Irish whiskey and a teaspoon.

Seamus proceeded to pour some of the amber liquid into the teaspoon and offered it to the pharmacist.

“Could you taste this for me, please?” asked Seamus.

The pharmacist took the teaspoon into his mouth, swilled the liquid around and swallowed it.

“Does that taste sweet to you?”, says Seamus.

“No, not at all,” says the pharmacist.

“Oh, that’s a relief,” says Seamus. “Doctor Flannigan told me to come here and get my urine tested for sugar.”




QuotaBills
The first wealth is health. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The greatest wealth is health. - Virgil

Logic is the anatomy of thought. - Albert Einstein

One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb

I like my whiskey old and my women young. - Errol Flynn

The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker

Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet

When life hands you lemons, make whiskey sours. - WC Fields

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer. - Joan Rivers

A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain. - WC Fields

Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance. - Plato

Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy. - Groucho Marx

How much pain have cost us the evils that have never happened. - Thomas Jefferson

Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. - Tom Waits

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain

Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome

Confucius say: "Man who want pretty nurse, must be patient." - Unknown

One of the major goals of health insurance reform is to bring down the cost. - Valerie Jarrett

My greatest pain in life is that I will never be able to see myself perform live. - Kanye West

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx

The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire

You purchase pain with all that joy can give and die of nothing but a rage to live. - Alexander Pope

But we have to pass the [health care] bill so that you can find out what's in it. - Nancy Pelosi

The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

Having insurance doesn't guarantee good health outcomes, but it is a critical factor. - Irwin Redlener

The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying

You can judge your age by the amount of pain you feel when you come in contact with a new idea. - Pearl S. Buck

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha

The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer

Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humor. It's like medicine - very healing. - Max Irons

Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Just like a shoe, if someone is meant for you, they will fit just perfectly. No forcing, no struggling, and no pain. - Unknown

There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - O.S. Marden

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker


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26-Jan-2020