Seamus went into a pharmacy in Dublin. He reached into his jacket pocket and took out a bottle of Irish whiskey and a teaspoon.
Seamus proceeded to pour some of the amber liquid into the teaspoon and offered it to the pharmacist.
“Could you taste this for me, please?” asked Seamus.
The pharmacist took the teaspoon into his mouth, swilled the liquid around and swallowed it.
“Does that taste sweet to you?”, says Seamus.
“No, not at all,” says the pharmacist.
“Oh, that’s a relief,” says Seamus. “Doctor Flannigan told me to come here and get my urine tested for sugar.”
Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid
I like my whiskey old and my women young. - Errol Flynn
God is a concept by which we measure our pain. - John Lennon
A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington
A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain. - WC Fields
Health insurance should be a given for every citizen. - Jesse Ventura
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx
Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown
A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer
Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid
Our health is a voyage and every illness is an adventure story. - Margiad Evans
One of the greatest pains to human nature is the pain of a new idea. - Walter Bagehot
Being in a good frame of mind helps one keep in the picture of health. - Unknown
Too much of anything is bad. Too much of good whisky is barely enough. - Mark Twain
One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love. - Sophocles
The great art of life is sensation; to feel that we exist, even in pain. - Lord Byron
To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher
You purchase pain with all that joy can give and die of nothing but a rage to live. - Alexander Pope
The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley
No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild
Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle
Having insurance doesn't guarantee good health outcomes, but it is a critical factor. - Irwin Redlener
When you can tell the story and it doesn't bring up any pain, you known it is healed. - Lyanla Vanzant
I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne
Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha
I figure if I have my health, can pay the rent and I have my friends, I call it "content." - Lauren Bacall
You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown
A life coach does for the rest of your life what a personal trainer does for your health and fitness. - Elaine MacDonald
The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno
Give a man health and a course to steer, and he'll never stop to trouble about whether he's happy or not. - George Bernard Shaw
When wealth is lost, nothing is lost. When health is lost, something is lost. When character is lost, all is lost. - Rev. Billy Graham
Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi
The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler
The public blabbers about preventive medicine, but will neither appreciate nor pay for it. You get paid for what you cure. - Martin H. Fischer
The pain you feel today is the strength you feel tomorrow. For every challenge encountered there is opportunity for growth. - Unknown
Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden
A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer
I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield
I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright
Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown
I like my whiskey old and my women young. - Errol Flynn
God is a concept by which we measure our pain. - John Lennon
A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington
A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain. - WC Fields
Health insurance should be a given for every citizen. - Jesse Ventura
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx
Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown
A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer
Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid
Our health is a voyage and every illness is an adventure story. - Margiad Evans
One of the greatest pains to human nature is the pain of a new idea. - Walter Bagehot
Being in a good frame of mind helps one keep in the picture of health. - Unknown
Too much of anything is bad. Too much of good whisky is barely enough. - Mark Twain
One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love. - Sophocles
The great art of life is sensation; to feel that we exist, even in pain. - Lord Byron
To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher
You purchase pain with all that joy can give and die of nothing but a rage to live. - Alexander Pope
The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley
No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild
Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle
Having insurance doesn't guarantee good health outcomes, but it is a critical factor. - Irwin Redlener
When you can tell the story and it doesn't bring up any pain, you known it is healed. - Lyanla Vanzant
I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne
Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha
I figure if I have my health, can pay the rent and I have my friends, I call it "content." - Lauren Bacall
You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown
A life coach does for the rest of your life what a personal trainer does for your health and fitness. - Elaine MacDonald
The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno
Give a man health and a course to steer, and he'll never stop to trouble about whether he's happy or not. - George Bernard Shaw
When wealth is lost, nothing is lost. When health is lost, something is lost. When character is lost, all is lost. - Rev. Billy Graham
Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi
The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler
The public blabbers about preventive medicine, but will neither appreciate nor pay for it. You get paid for what you cure. - Martin H. Fischer
The pain you feel today is the strength you feel tomorrow. For every challenge encountered there is opportunity for growth. - Unknown
Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden
A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer
I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield
I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright
Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown
see also Medical Section
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07-Dec-2019 |