Seamus went into a pharmacy in Dublin. He reached into his jacket pocket and took out a bottle of Irish whiskey and a teaspoon.
Seamus proceeded to pour some of the amber liquid into the teaspoon and offered it to the pharmacist.
“Could you taste this for me, please?” asked Seamus.
The pharmacist took the teaspoon into his mouth, swilled the liquid around and swallowed it.
“Does that taste sweet to you?”, says Seamus.
“No, not at all,” says the pharmacist.
“Oh, that’s a relief,” says Seamus. “Doctor Flannigan told me to come here and get my urine tested for sugar.”
Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken
Laughter is the best medicine. - Joe-kster
Pain will leave you, when you let go. - Jeremy Aldana
God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin
God is a concept by which we measure our pain. - John Lennon
Humor is the instinct for taking pain playfully. - Max Eastman
A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck
Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer. - Joan Rivers
Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. - Albert Schweitzer
How much pain have cost us the evils that have never happened. - Thomas Jefferson
God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying
A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier
Water, air, and cleanliness are the chief articles in my pharmacy. - Napoleon Bonaparte
I was under medication when I made the decision not to burn the tapes. - Richard M Nixon
Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies. - P.J. O'Rourke
Never let success get to your head. Never let failure get to your health. - Unknown
Out of suffering comes creativity. You cannot spell painting without pain. - John Lithgow
In nothing do men more nearly approach the gods than in giving health to men. - Cicero
A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh
If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb
Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield
I recently became a Christian Scientist. It was the only health plan I could afford. - Betsy Salkind
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke
Having insurance doesn't guarantee good health outcomes, but it is a critical factor. - Irwin Redlener
When you can tell the story and it doesn't bring up any pain, you known it is healed. - Lyanla Vanzant
The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying
Mental health problems do not affect three or four out of every five persons but one out of one. - William Menninger
Medicine, the only profession that labours incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence. - James Bryce
The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer
I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis
Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health. - Julia Child
Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope
You can catch health, happiness, and success from others just as easily as you can catch worries, bitterness, and failure. - Dale Carnegie
Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden
Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer
You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin
Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown
A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer
Laughter is the best medicine. - Joe-kster
Pain will leave you, when you let go. - Jeremy Aldana
God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin
God is a concept by which we measure our pain. - John Lennon
Humor is the instinct for taking pain playfully. - Max Eastman
A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck
Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer. - Joan Rivers
Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. - Albert Schweitzer
How much pain have cost us the evils that have never happened. - Thomas Jefferson
God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying
A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier
Water, air, and cleanliness are the chief articles in my pharmacy. - Napoleon Bonaparte
I was under medication when I made the decision not to burn the tapes. - Richard M Nixon
Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies. - P.J. O'Rourke
Never let success get to your head. Never let failure get to your health. - Unknown
Out of suffering comes creativity. You cannot spell painting without pain. - John Lithgow
In nothing do men more nearly approach the gods than in giving health to men. - Cicero
A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh
If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb
Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield
I recently became a Christian Scientist. It was the only health plan I could afford. - Betsy Salkind
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke
Having insurance doesn't guarantee good health outcomes, but it is a critical factor. - Irwin Redlener
When you can tell the story and it doesn't bring up any pain, you known it is healed. - Lyanla Vanzant
The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying
Mental health problems do not affect three or four out of every five persons but one out of one. - William Menninger
Medicine, the only profession that labours incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence. - James Bryce
The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer
I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis
Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health. - Julia Child
Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope
You can catch health, happiness, and success from others just as easily as you can catch worries, bitterness, and failure. - Dale Carnegie
Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden
Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer
You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin
Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown
A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer
see also Medical Section
Bed Ridden and Proud Of It
Costco Whiskey
Daniel’s Lotion
Fishing Trip With Jack
Found The Jackpot
Little Drinking Problem
One Beer A Day
Smirnoff Women
Whiskey Around The World
Whiskey Jig
Whiskey Lurks Good
Whiskey Silly
Acupuncture Face
Arkansas Cure For Terminal Illness
Bandage Art
Bed Friends
Brain Warmer
Breast Cancer Cure
Car Bandaid
Celebrity Swine Flu Fatality
Chewing Gum Hazard
DentAid
Dr. Paul Dhillon - Sierra Leone Ebola Clinic
First Aid Responders
Flu Fashion
Dreaded Furniture Disease
Harley Half Ton
Help For Dead Children
Hygiene On The Farm
I Can Still Kiss You
Important Health Information
Irish Flu Shots
Is Laughter The Best Medicine?
Magnetic Personality
Mandage
Mechanical Patient
Miss Beautiful Spine
Redneck Flu Shot
Restored Beauty
Self-Propelled Rocket
Stool Fool
Suspicious Blood Donor
Swine Flew
Swine Flu Symptoms
Tampon Saves Marine’s Life
Teople Poo
Treadmill Workout
Twin Dish
Worst Aid
Zip Tie Prank
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30-Mar-2020 |