Anger Management for Rude People

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I had forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying, “Hello.” I politely said, “This is Jason Braemore. Could I please speak with Rachel Carter?” Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me - I couldn’t believe that anyone could be so rude. I tracked down Rachel’s correct number and called her - I had transposed the last two digits of her phone number. After hanging up with her, I decided to call the “wrong” number again… When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, “You’re a scumbag!” and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word “scumbag” next to it, and put it on my speed dial. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I’d call him up and yell, “You’re a scumbag!” It always cheered me up! When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic “scumbag” calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, “Hi, this is John Smith from the Telephone Company. I’m just calling to see if you’re familiar with the Caller ID program?” He yelled, “NO!” and slammed the phone down. I quickly called him back and said, “That’s because you’re a scumbag!” One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for the spot. The idiot ignored me. I noticed a “For Sale” sign in his car window… so I wrote down his number. A couple of days later, right after calling the first scumbag, I thought I had better call the BMW scumbag too. I said, “Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?” “Yes, it is.” “Can you tell me where I can see it?” “Yes, I live at 1969 West 35th Street. It’s a yellow house, and the car’s parked right out in front.” “What’s your name?” I asked. “My name is Don Hanson,” he said. “When’s a good time to catch you, Don?” “I’m home every evening after five.” “Listen, Don, can I tell you something?” “Yes?” “Don, you’re a scumbag.” Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial. Now, when I had a problem, I had two scumbags to call… But after several months of calling them, it wasn’t as enjoyable as it used to be. So, I came up with an idea. I called Scumbag #1… “Hello.” “You’re a scumbag!” (But I didn’t hang up…) “Are you still there?” he asked. “Yeah,” I said. “ Stop calling me,” he screamed. “Make me,” I said. “Who are you?” he asked. “My name is Don Hanson.” “Yeah? Where do you live?” “Scumbag, I live at 1969 West 35th Street, a yellow house, with my black Beamer parked in front.” He said, “I’m coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers.” I said, “Yeah, like I’m really scared, scumbag.” Then I called Scumbag #2. “Hello?” he said. “Hello, scumbag,” I said. He yelled, “If I ever find out who you are, I’ll…” “You’ll what?” I said. “I’ll kick your ass,” he exclaimed. I answered, “Well, scumbag, here’s your chance. I’m coming over right now.” Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 1969 West 35th Street, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover. Then I called CKVU Channel 13 News about the gang war going down on West 35th Street. I quickly got into my car and headed over to 35th Street. There I saw two scumbags beating the crap out of each other in front of six squad cars, a police helicopter, and news crew. Now I feel a lot better… QuotaBills Keep cool; anger is not an argument. - Daniel Webster The greatest remedy for anger is delay. - Seneca Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame. - Benjamin Franklin Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie. - David Mamet Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. - Steven Wright Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny. - Kin Hubbard Management is nothing more than motivating people. - Lee Iacocca Lawyers are men who hire out their words and anger. - Robert Christy Be patient and calm; no one can catch a fish with anger. - Herbert Hoover Management is a practice where art, science, and craft meet. - Henry Mintzberg Genuine forgiveness does not deny anger but faces it head-on. - Alice Miller Whoever incites anger has a strong insurance against indifference. - Philip Stanhope Reality: The leading cause of stress among those in touch with it. - Lily Tomlin Too much homework can cause stress, depression and even lower grades. - Unknown Stress is an important dragon to slay - or at least tame - in your life. - Marilu Henner Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness. - Richard Carlson Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg To err is human. To blame it on somebody else shows management potential. - Unknown Chocolate is cheaper than therapy, and you don't need an appointment. - Unknown The best time management strategy: don't find the time, find the why. - Chris Guillebeau God will never give you anything you can't handle, so don't stress. - Kelly Clarkson How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it. - Marcus Aurelius Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret Adopting the right attitude can convert a negative stress into a positive one. - Hans Selye Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger. - JRR Tolkien Anger begets more anger, and forgiveness and love lead to more forgiveness and love. - Mahavira The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another. - William James Man should not try to avoid stress any more than he would shun food, love, or exercise. - Hans Selye The yoga mat is a good place to turn when talk therapy and antidepressants aren't enough. - Amy Weintraub In times of great stress or adversity, plow your anger and your energy into something positive. - Lee Iacocca Some of these people need ten years of therapy - ten sentences of mine do not equal ten years of therapy. - Oscar Wilde Charity is not like feeding pigeons in the square. It is a process that requires professional management. - Roman Abramovich The child should gain no request by anger; when he is quiet let him be offered what was refused when he wept. - Seneca Being in therapy is great. I spend an hour just talking about myself. It's kinda like being the guy on a date. - Caroline Rhea Transformation also means looking for ways to stop pushing yourself so hard professionally or inviting so much stress. - Gail Sheehy Forgiveness is the economy of the heart. Forgiveness saves the expense of anger, the cost of hatred, the waste of spirits. - Hannah More Forgiveness isn't just the absence of anger. It's also the presence of self-love, when you actually begin to value yourself. - Tara Westover Animals are not our selfie props. If there's any risk that your photo is going to hurt or stress an animal, it's not worth it. - Angela Henderson Management is efficiency in climbing the ladder of success; leadership determines whether the ladder is leaning against the right wall. - Stephen Covey To be a champion, you have to learn to handle stress and pressure. But if you've prepared mentally and physically, you don't have to worry. - Harvey Mackay see also   Relationship  &  Stress   Sections Anger Management Suppository Bullets Anger Release Machine Control Your Anger Female Therapist Manager Meal Welcome Home When Life Gets You Down   Funnel Farm Urinal Challenge Snow Detour Redneck GPS Snow Receiver Book Perspective Why Stand In Line? How Twins Are Made Ups and Downs Irish Flu Shots Snake Circle Romantic Accident Winter Mirror 2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars Abbey Road Joe-kster and Bernie Straws Chernobyl Fish Hard Working Cop Mechanic's Work Table Canadian Tennis

24-Jan-2021