British Rail...
Customer: How much does it cost to Bath on the train?
Operator: If you can get your feet in the sink, then it's free.


Customer: I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?
Operator: Where did you get that number from, sir?
Customer: It was on the door to the Travel Centre.
Operator: Sir, they are our opening hours.


Samsung Electronics...
Caller: Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?
Operator: I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about.
Caller: On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?


A Knitwear Company in Woven...
Operator: Woven?  Are you sure?
Caller: Yes. That's what it says on the label - Woven in Scotland.


A man - making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box - told a worried operator: “I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on.”


Caller: I'd like the RSPCA please.
Operator: Where are you calling from?
Caller: The living room.


RAC (Royal Automobile Club) Motoring Services...
Caller: Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am traveling in Australia?
Operator: Doesn't the product give you a clue?


Computer Capers...
Tech Support: I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.
Customer: OK.
Tech Support: Did you get a pop-up menu?
Customer: No.
Tech Support: OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?
Customer: No.
Tech Support: OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?
Customer: Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click' on my notepad.
Tech Support: OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'Start' button displayed?
Customer: Wow! How can you see my screen from there?


Caller: I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realized that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks, will I have my file back again?


Welsh Directory Enquiries...
Caller: I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff, please.
Operator: I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?
Caller: Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off.