Washington, D.C (JP) - Born joined at the head, Siamese twins George and Tony may soon be separated thanks to recent advances in nanosurgery. Doctors Kettering and Brownose, buoyed by success in similar
operations on monkeys, believe that there's clearly a "good chance" that the operation will be a success - even though there's a 10% chance that one or both of the men won't survive.![]() ![]() ![]() Forced to do everything together ever since birth, Kettering stated that "these two men are a living nightmare - they have no quality of life, and they're having catastrophic effects on their environment." Further complications are expected, however, since George has no heart, while Tony seems to have no balls. But according to Brownose, these are not insurmountable obstacles. "If these were normal people, I think that I would be quite concerned," Brownose told joe-ks.com. "However, with politicians, this is very seldom an issue." With only one spine, it's no wonder their constituents call them 'spineless' - but we're not sure which one they're referring to. ![]() The operation is planned for the end of 2004 if the twins decide to go ahead with the separation. If successful, one will be shorter than the other. ![]() If the operation is not successful, they'll soon be separated by their own polls... Everybody knows politics is a contact sport. - Barrack Obama From politics, it was an easy step to silence. - Jane Austen I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun. - R Buckminster Fuller Government is an endless pursuit of new ways to tax. - Unknown The Golden Rule has no place in a political campaign. - John J Ingalls The art of government is the organization of idolatry. - George Bernard Shaw A diplomat is a man who thinks twice before he says nothing. - Unknown You can't get rich in politics unless you're a crook. - Harry S Truman The sad duty of politics is to establish justice in a sinful world. - Reinhold Niebuhr The most important political office is that of the private citizen. - Louis D. Brandeis I wish the government would put a tax on pianos for the incompetent. - Edith Sitwell The duty of a patriot is to protect his country from its government. - Edward Abbey A politician will do anything to keep his job - even become a patriot. - William Randolph Politics is war without bloodshed while war is politics with bloodshed. - Mao Zedong Every politician should have been born an orphan and remain a bachelor. - Lady Bird Johnson Politics is the art of choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable. - John Kenneth Galbraith To lodge all power in one party and keep it there is to insure bad government. - Mark Twain American Politics: A form of socialism for the rich, including the politicians. - Gregory Nunn Idealism is the noble toga that political gentlemen drape over their will to power. - Aldous Huxley Political success is the ability, when the inevitable occurs, to get credit for it. - Laurence J Peter Of all the tasks of government, the most basic is to protect its citizens from violence. - John Foster Dulles There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you. - Will Rogers In Pierre Elliott Trudeau, Canada has at last produced a political leader worthy of assassination. - Irving Layton A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them. - P.J. O'Rourke It's our experience that political leaders don't always mean the opposite of what they say. - Abba Eban A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip. - Caskie Stinnett Relying on the government to protect your privacy is like asking a peeping tom to install your window blinds. - John P Barlow If you put the federal government in charge of the Sahara Desert, in 5 years there'd be a shortage of sand. - Milton Friedman One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors. - Plato Frankly, I'd like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the whole field to private industry. - Joseph Heller Canada's political parties spend a few years in opposition and then govern as if it's permanent payback time. - Bob Rae Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage. - Ambrose Bierce It was revealed in a government survey published today that the Prime Minister is doing the work of two men, Laurel and Hardy. - Ronnie Corbett We're at a point in history where everyone needs to pay attention to politics. Too much is at stake for us to be apathetic. - Kevin Costner A party of order or stability, and a party of progress or reform, are both necessary elements of a healthy state of political life. - John Stuart Mill Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first. - Ronald Reagan Politicians also have no leisure, because they are always aiming at something beyond political life itself, power and glory, or happiness. - Aristotle I mean, there's no arguing. There is no anything. There is no beating around the bush. "You're fired" is a very strong term. - Donald Trump Political correctness is about denial, usually in the weasel circumlocutory jargon which distorts and evades and seldom stands up to honest analysis. - George M Fraser see also Family, Friend & Relationship Sections Alt-Ctrl-Del Pillows Baby Names - Denise and Denephew CatRabbit Twins Coca Cola Twins Copy & Paste Twins Fat Twin Sisters How Twins Are Made Panda Bear Summer Raise Twins Sedin Sisters Siamese Pike Twins Tumbleweed Twins Twin Dish Twin Dogs Twin Falls Twin Load Twin Towers of Hope |
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