Thou Shalt Not Park Here
How to rid yourself of problem parkers

The parking lot at the Baptist Church was always full because the members of a Presbyterian Church, one block away, were always using it in spite of being requested many times not to do so.

Finally, the Baptist Church minister had bumper stickers put on all the cars in their lot saying, “I’m proud to be a Baptist”.

There were no more parking problems...


QuotaBills
The dog is the god of frolic. - Henry Ward Beecher

Tea is a religion of the art of life. - Okakura Kakuzo

Praise the ripe field, not the green corn. - Unknown

Praise, like sunlight, helps all things grow. - Croft M Pentz

It is very lonely sometimes, trying to play God. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

God always strives together with those who strive. - Aeschylus

We are too apt to love praise, but not to deserve it. - William Penn

I once dieted so religiously I quit eating in Church. - Zig Ziglar

History is a vision of God's creation on the move. - Arnold J. Toynbee

God depends on us. It is through us that God is achieved. - Andre Gide

Faith is the small mustard seed of opportunities every day. - Mark Batterson

No sinner is ever saved after the first twenty minutes of a sermon. - Mark Twain

Faith, to my mind, is a stiffening process, a sort of mental starch. - E.M. Forster

Our faith in the present dies out long before our faith in the future. - Ruth Benedict

The one thing we owe absolutely to God is never to be afraid of anything. - Charles de Foucauld

Blessed be Thou, our God and Lord of Hosts, who has not created me a woman. - Jewish Prayer

Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn. - C S Lewis

If Jesus were living in our culture, he would probably hang out in coffeehouses. - Mark Batterson

The preacher who can't broaden or deepen his sermons usually lengthens them. - Unknown

When God created the world, he didn't draw a line between Canada and America. - Marianne Williamson

I won't give up, no matter what happens. I thank God for my unconquerable soul. - William Henley

The world is my country, all mankind are my brethren, and to do good is my religion. - Thomas Paine

Young man, the secret of my success is that at an early age I discovered I was not God. - Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.

If you want to know what God thinks about money, just look at the people He gives it to. - Alexander Pope

A real patriot is the fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works. - Bill Vaughan

The value of persistent prayer is not that he will hear us, but that we will finally hear him. - William McGill

Sometimes you cannot worship from your strength but you must choose to worship from your faith. - Unknown

Let us build a church so great that those who come after us may thing us mad to have attempted it. - Unknown

A word of encouragement during failure is worth more than a dictionary of praise following success. - Unknown

The foundation stones for a balanced success are honesty, character, integrity, faith, love and loyalty. - Zig Ziglar

If you really believe in the message you're preaching, you want as many people as possible to listen. - Mark Batterson

Education can get you the only thing that really matters in today's world - an assigned parking space. - Gene Perret

Stay positive in every situation and everything you do; never stop trying. Have faith, don't stop due to failure. - Anurag P Ray

The Christian does not think God will love us because we are good, but that God will make us good because He loves us. - C S Lewis

Hell's foundations quiver
At the shout of praise;
Brothers, lift your voices,
Loud your anthems raise. - Sabine Baring-Gould

How lawyers make work for one another! You're all priests, worshipping the same god. No wonder you adore one another. - Joyce Carol Oates

One of our fundamental spiritual problems is this: we want God to do something new while we keep doing the same old thing. - Mark Batterson

If God forgives us we must forgive ourselves. Otherwise, it is almost like setting up ourselves as a higher tribunal than Him. - C S Lewis

We regard God as an airman regards his parachute; it's there for emergencies, but he hopes he'll never have to use it. - C S Lewis

Religion is something left over from the infancy of our intelligence, it will fade away as we adopt reason and science as our guidelines. - Bertrand Russell


see also   Religious  Section
Tempting Parking Spot

Ain’t Peter's Place
All Dogs Go To Heaven
All Dogs Go To Heaven Sign Debate
An Evening Prayer
Are You Ready?
Ark Walk
Atheist Professor
Autographed Copy
Bacon Reasons
Baptised Trespassers
Barn Art
Beware Of Who Is Watching Over Your Church
Bible Bar
Bible Reference
Biblical Humour
Biggest Turkeys
Breakable Postal Package
Cat Hat
Catch Up With Jesus
Church Humour
Church Karma
Church on Wheels
Church Sign Generator
Church Sign Messages
Church Signs
Communion Wafers
Confession Today
Da End Iss Near
Daily Inspiration
Day of Light and Darkness
Dead Sea Fish
Devil Sky
Disciple Golf Day
Dr. Plank - 'Speck Out Of Your Eye' Guy
Easter Math
Equal Rights Church
Faith Forever
Food Bank Closure
For Your Synths
Friar Thumper
Garden of Eat’En
God Darts
Godzilla vs God
God’s Billboard
God’s Little Instructions
Golf Prayer
Golfing Nun
Gregorian Monk
Halo to the Holy Dog
He Might Wait A Long Time
How To Make Holy Water
How To Tweet Others
If God Had Texted the 10 Commandments
In-Spired Safety Tip
Inspiring Funeral Home
Japanese Christmas
Jerusalem Obituary,  33 A.D.
Jesus Drove A Honda
Jesus On The Beach
Jesus Was Here
Job Interview With God
John The Baptist Souvenirs
Join The Resistance
Judas Asparagus
Leading a Remote Life
Leaving A Good Impression
Letters to God - From Children
Limit Of Two
Miracle Walk
Moldy Bible
Moses As A Lifeguard
Moses’ Computer Skills
Moses’ Headache Relief
Moses’ Headache Relief - the Sequel
Moses Inspiration
Moses Parting the Ice Field
Moses’ USB Tablets
Need A Lifeguard?
New Nativity Scene
New School Prayer
No Separation
No Shorts
Noah Called
Notre Dame Fire
Nun Chairs - Great Looking Legs
On The Eighth Day
Organ Donor
Original Homeland Security - 2nd Amendment
Orthodox Weapon
Please Help My Car
Prayer Conditioning
Prayer for 2020
Prayer Request for Bob
Praying For Their Enemies in Edmonton?
Rabbi Road
Read The Fine Print
Redneck Revenge
Reformed Buddhists
Religious Nuts
Ruling On Criticism
Snow Prayers
Soul Repair
Sundae Sermon
Sunday Weather Forecast
Superior Church
The End Is Near
The Eye of God
The Fall Of Adam
The Power Of Faith
The Resurrection
The Stoned Age & Judyism by College Students
The Very First King Size Bed
Trump Cross
Uplifting Church
Vatican Chess
Walkway To Heaven
Wash Away Sins
What Good Shall I Do This Day?
With The Pope
World’s Oldest Menorah
Yes!
You Turn
Youth Pastor’s Last Speech

 

Encouraging Seal

GMC Pool

Nature Calls

You're Home Early

New Nail Gun

Long Noodles

EMS Upgrade

No Pot Of Gold

Graduation Swag

Monkeypox

Pre-Dinner Photography

Curses, Foiled Again

Ant Virus

Sidewalk Malt Melt

Bird's Eye View

Sea Girl

Lifeguard Distancing

Merry Go Motorbike

Build Back Better - Season 2

Build Back Better - Season 1
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

24-May-2022