Thou Shalt Not Park Here
How to rid yourself of problem parkers

The parking lot at the Baptist Church was always full because the members of a Presbyterian Church, one block away, were always using it in spite of being requested many times not to do so.

Finally, the Baptist Church minister had bumper stickers put on all the cars in their lot saying, “I’m proud to be a Baptist”.

There were no more parking problems...


QuotaBills
Just praise is only a debt. - G Berkeley

My true religion is Kindness. - Dalai Lama

All truth is God's truth. - John Calvin

I will praise any man that will praise me. - William Shakespeare

God help those who do not help themselves. - Addison Mizner

Holy Mackerel: Fish served at Church supper - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

God Bless America, written by Milton Berlin. - Archie Bunker

Praise does wonders for the sense of hearing. - Unknown

Conceited people never hear anything but praise. - Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Parking Lot Attendant: Professional fender bender - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Whatever I cannot do for God's glory must be avoided. - A.W. Pink

I have much more faith in a kind man than I do in mankind. - Unknown

All the world is made of faith, and trust, and pixie dust. - J.M. Barrie

Faith makes all things possible; love makes all things easy. - Jeffrey R Holland

The laws of nature are but the mathematical thoughts of God. - Euclid

Sometimes God allows what he hates to accomplish what he loves. - Joni Eareckson Tada

God's mercy and grace give me hope - for myself, and for our world. - Billy Graham

Blessed be Thou, our God and Lord of Hosts, who has not created me a woman. - Jewish Prayer

If I owe Smith ten dollars and God forgives me, that doesn't pay Smith. - Robert G Ingersoll

Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

A blank piece of paper is God's way of telling us how hard it is to be God. - Sidney Sheldon

Faith is much better than belief. Belief is when someone else does the thinking. - R Buckminster Fuller

My favourite characters in the Bible are King David, Delilah and Charlton Heston. - Milton Berle

No man can be called friendless when he has God and the companionship of good books. - Elizabeth Barrett Browning

When I was with Andy Warhol, I thought, 'God, his wig looks cheaper than mine!' - Dolly Parton

You were made by God and for God and until you understand that, life will never make sense. - Rick Warren

Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence. - Helen Keller

I know God won't give me anything I can't handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much. - Mother Teresa

Tradition is the living faith of those now dead. Traditionalism is the dead faith of those now living. - Jaroslav Pelikan

I realize the tragic significance of the atom bomb. We thank God it has come to us instead of our enemies. - Harry S Truman

God loves us too much to leave us alone to contend with the pain, guilt and loneliness of our present life. - Josh McDowell

God cannot give us a happiness and peace apart from Himself, because it is not there. There is no such thing. - C S Lewis

Faith is a fine invention
When Gentlemen can see -
But Microscopes are prudent
In an Emergency. - Emily Dickinson

A small body of determined spirits fired by an unquenchable faith in their mission can alter the course of history. - Mahatma Gandhi

The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler

Having faith, beliefs, and convictions is a great thing, but your life is measured by the actions you take based upon them. - Nick Vujicic

Praise or blame has but a momentary effect on the man whose love of beauty in the abstract makes him a severe critic on his own works. - John Keats

Religion is something left over from the infancy of our intelligence, it will fade away as we adopt reason and science as our guidelines. - Bertrand Russell

Faith is not logical. But it isn't illogical either. Faith is theological. It does not ignore reality; it just adds God into the equation. - Mark Batterson

It is a matter of whether one wants to get rich or be rich. We can be rich in Christ Jesus or perhaps get rich in Egypt, but we cannot do both. - Vance Havner


see also   Religious  Section
Tempting Parking Spot

Ain’t Peter's Place
All Dogs Go To Heaven
All Dogs Go To Heaven Sign Debate
An Evening Prayer
Are You Ready?
Ark Walk
Atheist Professor
Autographed Copy
Bacon Reasons
Baptised Trespassers
Barn Art
Beware Of Who Is Watching Over Your Church
Bible Bar
Bible Reference
Biblical Humour
Biggest Turkeys
Breakable Postal Package
Cat Hat
Catch Up With Jesus
Church Humour
Church Karma
Church on Wheels
Church Sign Generator
Church Sign Messages
Church Signs
Communion Wafers
Confession Today
Da End Iss Near
Daily Inspiration
Day of Light and Darkness
Dead Sea Fish
Devil Sky
Disciple Golf Day
Dr. Plank - 'Speck Out Of Your Eye' Guy
Easter Math
Equal Rights Church
Faith Forever
Food Bank Closure
For Your Synths
Friar Thumper
Garden of Eat’En
God Darts
Godzilla vs God
God’s Billboard
God’s Little Instructions
Golf Prayer
Golfing Nun
Gregorian Monk
Halo to the Holy Dog
He Might Wait A Long Time
How To Make Holy Water
How To Tweet Others
If God Had Texted the 10 Commandments
In-Spired Safety Tip
Inspiring Funeral Home
Japanese Christmas
Jerusalem Obituary,  33 A.D.
Jesus Drove A Honda
Jesus On The Beach
Jesus Was Here
Job Interview With God
John The Baptist Souvenirs
Join The Resistance
Judas Asparagus
Leading a Remote Life
Leaving A Good Impression
Letters to God - From Children
Limit Of Two
Miracle Walk
Moldy Bible
Moses As A Lifeguard
Moses’ Computer Skills
Moses’ Headache Relief
Moses’ Headache Relief - the Sequel
Moses Inspiration
Moses Parting the Ice Field
Moses’ USB Tablets
Need A Lifeguard?
New Nativity Scene
New School Prayer
No Separation
No Shorts
Noah Called
Notre Dame Fire
Nun Chairs - Great Looking Legs
On The Eighth Day
Organ Donor
Original Homeland Security - 2nd Amendment
Orthodox Weapon
Please Help My Car
Prayer Conditioning
Prayer for 2020
Prayer Request for Bob
Praying For Their Enemies in Edmonton?
Rabbi Road
Read The Fine Print
Redneck Revenge
Reformed Buddhists
Religious Nuts
Ruling On Criticism
Snow Prayers
Soul Repair
Sundae Sermon
Sunday Weather Forecast
Superior Church
The End Is Near
The Eye of God
The Fall Of Adam
The Power Of Faith
The Resurrection
The Stoned Age & Judyism by College Students
The Very First King Size Bed
Trump Cross
Uplifting Church
Vatican Chess
Walkway To Heaven
Wash Away Sins
What Good Shall I Do This Day?
With The Pope
World’s Oldest Menorah
Yes!
You Turn
Youth Pastor’s Last Speech

 

Nose Siphoner

Prehistoric Flash Drive

Mouse Revenge

Young Who Suffer

Stray Cat

A Dog's Seeing Eye Dog

Forest Guardian

Sing It Out

UPS and DOWNS

Good Luck Angel

Hosanna in Excel Sheets

British Kingdom

Dance With Me

Mouse Trick

Black Friday Scam

Pianist's Challenge

Economy Flight

Diamond Ring TP

Water Transformer Hazard

Office Irony
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27-Nov-2021