Thou Shalt Not Park Here
How to rid yourself of problem parkers

The parking lot at the Baptist Church was always full because the members of a Presbyterian Church, one block away, were always using it in spite of being requested many times not to do so.

Finally, the Baptist Church minister had bumper stickers put on all the cars in their lot saying, “I’m proud to be a Baptist”.

There were no more parking problems...


QuotaBills
All truth is God's truth. - John Calvin

God sends meat - the Devil sends cooks. - Charles VI

God does not play dice with the universe. - Albert Einstein

Religion is the search for ultimate meaning. - Viktor Frankl

A puff of wind and popular praise weigh the same. - English Proverb

He that searches for praise will often find contempt. - Norman MacDonald

I once dieted so religiously I quit eating in Church. - Zig Ziglar

I have much more faith in a kind man than I do in mankind. - Unknown

Sometimes God allows what he hates to accomplish what he loves. - Joni Eareckson Tada

God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board. - Mark Twain

I am the vessel. The draft is God's. And God is the thirsty one. - Dag Hammarskjold

Indigestion is charged by God with enforcing morality on the stomach. - Victor Hugo

But I always think that the best way to know God is to love many things. - Vincent Van Gogh

God grants us an uncommon life to the degree we surrender our common one. - Max Lucado

A thorough knowledge of the Bible is worth more than a college education. - Theodore Roosevelt

Kind hearts are more than coronets
An simple faith than Norman blood. - Alfred Tennyson

There's no better book with which to defend the Bible than the Bible itself. - Dwight L. Moody

We are as much as we see. Faith is sight and knowledge. The hands only serve the eyes. - Henry David Thoreau

We have just enough religion to make us hate but not enough to make us love one another. - Jonathan Swift

Faith has to do with things that are not seen, and hope with things that are not at hand. - Thomas Aquinas

I definitely want my son Brooklyn christened, but I don't know into what religion yet. - David Beckham

Art is a collaboration between God and the artist, and the less the artist does the better. - Andre Gide

Just as Jesus created wine from water, we humans are capable of transmuting emotion into music. - Carlos Santana

The world was made for the body. The body was made for the soul. And the soul was made for God. - Ravi Zacharias

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank. - Woody Allen

It is when we notice the dirt that God is most present in us; it is the very sign of His presence. - C S Lewis

To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you. - C S Lewis

If I were ever prosecuted for my religion, I truly hope there would be enough evidence to convict me. - John Wooden

How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter? - Woody Allen

The Muslim world is threatened by religious fanaticism. The Western world is threatened by secular fanaticism. - Dennis Prager

Where is Hollywood located? Chiefly between the ears. In that part of the American brain lately vacated by God. - Erica Jong

Pain is a sign that we are alive. Problems are a sign that we are strong. Prayer is a sign that we are not alone. - Unknown

Every happening, great and small, is a parable whereby God speaks to us, and the art of life is to get the message. - Malcolm Muggeridge

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

You must mind and not lower the Church in people's eyes by seeming to be frightened about it for such a little thing. - George Eliot

It is difficult to make a man miserable while he feels worthy of himself and claims kindred to the great God who made him. - Abraham Lincoln

It is a press, certainly, but a press from which shall flow in inexhaustible streams... through it, God will spread his word. - Johannes Gutenberg

If God forgives us we must forgive ourselves. Otherwise, it is almost like setting up ourselves as a higher tribunal than Him. - C S Lewis

God created us for love, for union, for forgiveness and compassion and, yet, that has not been our storyline. That has not been our history. - Richard Rohr

I you can make any leading religion of the world look like complete nonsense, you can be sure of only one thing: you haven't understood it. - Wilfred Cantwell Smith


see also   Religious  Section
Tempting Parking Spot

Ain’t Peter's Place
All Dogs Go To Heaven
All Dogs Go To Heaven Sign Debate
An Evening Prayer
Are You Ready?
Ark Walk
Atheist Professor
Autographed Copy
Bacon Reasons
Baptised Trespassers
Barn Art
Beware Of Who Is Watching Over Your Church
Bible Bar
Bible Reference
Biblical Humour
Biggest Turkeys
Breakable Postal Package
Cat Hat
Catch Up With Jesus
Church Humour
Church Karma
Church on Wheels
Church Sign Generator
Church Sign Messages
Church Signs
Communion Wafers
Confession Today
Da End Iss Near
Daily Inspiration
Day of Light and Darkness
Dead Sea Fish
Devil Sky
Disciple Golf Day
Dr. Plank - 'Speck Out Of Your Eye' Guy
Easter Math
Equal Rights Church
Faith Forever
Food Bank Closure
For Your Synths
Friar Thumper
Garden of Eat’En
God Darts
Godzilla vs God
God’s Billboard
God’s Little Instructions
Golf Prayer
Golfing Nun
Gregorian Monk
Halo to the Holy Dog
He Might Wait A Long Time
How To Make Holy Water
How To Tweet Others
If God Had Texted the 10 Commandments
In-Spired Safety Tip
Inspiring Funeral Home
Japanese Christmas
Jerusalem Obituary,  33 A.D.
Jesus Drove A Honda
Jesus On The Beach
Jesus Was Here
Job Interview With God
John The Baptist Souvenirs
Join The Resistance
Judas Asparagus
Leading a Remote Life
Leaving A Good Impression
Letters to God - From Children
Limit Of Two
Miracle Walk
Moldy Bible
Moses As A Lifeguard
Moses’ Computer Skills
Moses’ Headache Relief
Moses’ Headache Relief - the Sequel
Moses Inspiration
Moses Parting the Ice Field
Moses’ USB Tablets
Need A Lifeguard?
New Nativity Scene
New School Prayer
No Separation
No Shorts
Noah Called
Notre Dame Fire
Nun Chairs - Great Looking Legs
On The Eighth Day
Organ Donor
Original Homeland Security - 2nd Amendment
Orthodox Weapon
Please Help My Car
Prayer Conditioning
Prayer for 2020
Prayer Request for Bob
Praying For Their Enemies in Edmonton?
Rabbi Road
Read The Fine Print
Redneck Revenge
Reformed Buddhists
Religious Nuts
Ruling On Criticism
Snow Prayers
Soul Repair
Sundae Sermon
Sunday Weather Forecast
Superior Church
The End Is Near
The Eye of God
The Fall Of Adam
The Power Of Faith
The Resurrection
The Stoned Age & Judyism by College Students
The Very First King Size Bed
Trump Cross
Uplifting Church
Vatican Chess
Walkway To Heaven
Wash Away Sins
What Good Shall I Do This Day?
With The Pope
World’s Oldest Menorah
Yes!
You Turn
Youth Pastor’s Last Speech

 

Dog Laundry - Hung Out To Dry

Ahead Of You

Only in Montana

Paper Lunge

FireFox vs. Windows

'Pick Your Nose' Cup

Playing Mantis

XL Cup of Tea

Dogue

Geek Gravestone

Split Personality

Wine Day

Smirnoff Women

Front Bum

Wine Wheels

Cheese Crakers

The 'New' Economy

Floating Gazebo

Cordless Plumbing

USB Vacuum Cleaner
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01-Oct-2020