A new, young MD was doing his residency in gynecology. He was quite embarrassed performing female pelvic exams. To conceal his embarrassment he had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly.
A middle aged lady upon whom he was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassed him.
He looked up from his work and sheepishly said, “I’m sorry. Was I tickling you?”
She replied, “No Doctor, but the song you were whistling was ‘I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener.’ ”
No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb
Maternity Hospital: An heirport - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A young doctor makes a humpy graveyard. - English Proverb
Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer
The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker
Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance. - King George V
A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington
The No. 1 cause of bankruptcies is medical bills. - Michael Moore
I write poems like some people sing in the bathroom. - Amit Bhatia
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx
I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder
There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini
A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier
I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. - Winston Bennett
Confucius say: "Man who want pretty nurse, must be patient." - Unknown
The best way to reduce the cost of medical care is to reduce the illness. - Arlen Specter
I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick
When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. - Karen Russell
I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. - James H. Boren
I'd rather be able to face myself in the bathroom mirror than be rich and famous. - Ani DiFranco
At Disneyland, you never go 'backstage' - even when you're in the bathroom. - Hideo Kojima
The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer
I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx
I've just become a pensioner so I've started saving up for my own hospital trolley. - Tom Baker
I have had my television aerials removed. It is the moral equivalent of a prostate operation. - Malcolm Muggeridge
Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles
Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. - Richard M Nixon
When you’re a nurse you know that every day you will touch a life or a life will touch yours. - Unknown
You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown
We cannot embrace God's forgiveness if we are so busy clinging to past wounds and nursing old grudges. - T D Jakes
My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields
The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler
My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle
I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman
A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer
Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp
I see God in every human being. When I wash the leper's wounds, I feel I am nursing the Lord himself. Is it not a beautiful experience? - Mother Teresa
My Doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab. - Rodney Dangerfield
Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller
Maternity Hospital: An heirport - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A young doctor makes a humpy graveyard. - English Proverb
Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer
The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker
Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance. - King George V
A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington
The No. 1 cause of bankruptcies is medical bills. - Michael Moore
I write poems like some people sing in the bathroom. - Amit Bhatia
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx
I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder
There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini
A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier
I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. - Winston Bennett
Confucius say: "Man who want pretty nurse, must be patient." - Unknown
The best way to reduce the cost of medical care is to reduce the illness. - Arlen Specter
I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick
When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. - Karen Russell
I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. - James H. Boren
I'd rather be able to face myself in the bathroom mirror than be rich and famous. - Ani DiFranco
At Disneyland, you never go 'backstage' - even when you're in the bathroom. - Hideo Kojima
The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer
I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx
I've just become a pensioner so I've started saving up for my own hospital trolley. - Tom Baker
I have had my television aerials removed. It is the moral equivalent of a prostate operation. - Malcolm Muggeridge
Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles
Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. - Richard M Nixon
When you’re a nurse you know that every day you will touch a life or a life will touch yours. - Unknown
You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown
We cannot embrace God's forgiveness if we are so busy clinging to past wounds and nursing old grudges. - T D Jakes
My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields
The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler
My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle
I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman
A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer
Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp
I see God in every human being. When I wash the leper's wounds, I feel I am nursing the Lord himself. Is it not a beautiful experience? - Mother Teresa
My Doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab. - Rodney Dangerfield
Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller
see also Doctor & Music Sections
Acceptable Doctors Sign
Colon Celery
Colorectal Exam For Dogs
Colorectal Surgeon Praise
Congressional Limerick
Constipated Mathematician
Dog Proctologist
Fart Facts
First Proctologist Exam (PG)
German Flatulence Control
Japanese Diving Platform
Menopause Sucks
Proctologist Call
Proctologist’s Second-Hand Prescription
Psychiatrist’s Patient Advice
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27-Sep-2020 |