Singing Gynecologist

Gynecologist’s “tip”: whistle while you work


A new, young MD was doing his residency in gynecology. He was quite embarrassed performing female pelvic exams. To conceal his embarrassment he had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly.

A middle aged lady upon whom he was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassed him.

He looked up from his work and sheepishly said, “I’m sorry. Was I tickling you?”

She replied, “No Doctor, but the song you were whistling was ‘I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener.’ ”


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No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb

Maternity Hospital: An heirport - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A young doctor makes a humpy graveyard. - English Proverb

Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer

The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker

Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance. - King George V

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

The No. 1 cause of bankruptcies is medical bills. - Michael Moore

I write poems like some people sing in the bathroom. - Amit Bhatia

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder

There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. - Winston Bennett

Confucius say: "Man who want pretty nurse, must be patient." - Unknown

The best way to reduce the cost of medical care is to reduce the illness. - Arlen Specter

I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick

When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. - Karen Russell

I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. - James H. Boren

I'd rather be able to face myself in the bathroom mirror than be rich and famous. - Ani DiFranco

At Disneyland, you never go 'backstage' - even when you're in the bathroom. - Hideo Kojima

The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

I've just become a pensioner so I've started saving up for my own hospital trolley. - Tom Baker

I have had my television aerials removed. It is the moral equivalent of a prostate operation. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles

Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. - Richard M Nixon

When you’re a nurse you know that every day you will touch a life or a life will touch yours. - Unknown

You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown

We cannot embrace God's forgiveness if we are so busy clinging to past wounds and nursing old grudges. - T D Jakes

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp

I see God in every human being. When I wash the leper's wounds, I feel I am nursing the Lord himself. Is it not a beautiful experience? - Mother Teresa

My Doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab. - Rodney Dangerfield

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller


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27-Sep-2020