A new, young MD was doing his residency in gynecology. He was quite embarrassed performing female pelvic exams. To conceal his embarrassment he had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly.
A middle aged lady upon whom he was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassed him.
He looked up from his work and sheepishly said, “I’m sorry. Was I tickling you?”
She replied, “No Doctor, but the song you were whistling was ‘I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener.’ ”
No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb
Caring is the essence of nursing. - Jean Watson
One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb
Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom. - Candice Bergen
A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx
After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields
A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb
I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards. - Henny Youngman
The kitchen. The bathroom. The yin and yang of the household. - David C. Holley
My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes
That Gerald Ford. He can't fart and chew gum at the same time. - Lyndon B. Johnson
A nurse will always give us hope,
an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets
Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown
The last mosquito that bit me had to check into the Betty Ford clinic. - Joanna Lumley
My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector
Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley
A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh
When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. - Karen Russell
At Disneyland, you never go 'backstage' - even when you're in the bathroom. - Hideo Kojima
The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright
I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne
I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne
Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. - Richard M Nixon
I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail
I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer
You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown
I've posed nude for a photographer in the manner of Rodin's Thinker, but I looked merely constipated. - George Bernard Shaw
The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer
In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer
My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields
The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers
Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer
I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin
I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield
I wish I had a nickel for every song that I've left in the bathroom, written down on a matchbox, or just totally forgotten about. - Tommy Shaw
I see God in every human being. When I wash the leper's wounds, I feel I am nursing the Lord himself. Is it not a beautiful experience? - Mother Theresa
Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller
Caring is the essence of nursing. - Jean Watson
One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb
Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom. - Candice Bergen
A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx
After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields
A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb
I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards. - Henny Youngman
The kitchen. The bathroom. The yin and yang of the household. - David C. Holley
My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes
That Gerald Ford. He can't fart and chew gum at the same time. - Lyndon B. Johnson
A nurse will always give us hope,
an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets
Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown
The last mosquito that bit me had to check into the Betty Ford clinic. - Joanna Lumley
My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector
Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley
A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh
When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. - Karen Russell
At Disneyland, you never go 'backstage' - even when you're in the bathroom. - Hideo Kojima
The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright
I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne
I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne
Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. - Richard M Nixon
I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail
I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer
You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown
I've posed nude for a photographer in the manner of Rodin's Thinker, but I looked merely constipated. - George Bernard Shaw
The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer
In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer
My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields
The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers
Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer
I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin
I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield
I wish I had a nickel for every song that I've left in the bathroom, written down on a matchbox, or just totally forgotten about. - Tommy Shaw
I see God in every human being. When I wash the leper's wounds, I feel I am nursing the Lord himself. Is it not a beautiful experience? - Mother Theresa
Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller
see also Doctor & Music Sections
Acceptable Doctors Sign
Colon Celery
Colorectal Exam For Dogs
Colorectal Surgeon Praise
Congressional Limerick
Constipated Mathematician
Dog Proctologist
Fart Facts
First Proctologist Exam (PG)
German Flatulence Control
Japanese Diving Platform
Menopause Sucks
Proctologist Call
Proctologist’s Second-Hand Prescription
Psychiatrist’s Patient Advice
 Road Shortcut |  Running Tears |  Swingers |  Bird Cam |  Parent Signature |
 Bread Additive |  Dates For Everyone |  Tree of Dreams |  Temporarily Insane Boat Ride |  Exit Door |
 Handicap Motorcyclist |  New Canada Bill |  Staff Teeth |  Funnel Farm |  Buffalo Prod |
 Meat Pie |  Where Nobody Speeds |  A Fish Called Wanda - Uncut Version |  Point Of View |  Good Conductor |
21-Nov-2019 |