A new, young MD was doing his residency in gynecology. He was quite embarrassed performing female pelvic exams. To conceal his embarrassment he had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly.
A middle aged lady upon whom he was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassed him.
He looked up from his work and sheepishly said, “I’m sorry. Was I tickling you?”
She replied, “No Doctor, but the song you were whistling was ‘I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener.’ ”
Maternity Hospital: An heirport - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
We are here on Earth to fart around. - Kurt Vonnegut
The sexual act was never constipated. - Archie Bunker
An operation of the most extreme daring. - Alfred Jodl
The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker
My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck
I write poems like some people sing in the bathroom. - Amit Bhatia
Surgeon: The person who was a cut-up at medical school - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx
A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb
There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini
Every bathroom in my house will ultimately have a Toto bidet in it. - Ken Marino
Operation: A surgical job taking minutes to do and years to describe - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The last mosquito that bit me had to check into the Betty Ford clinic. - Joanna Lumley
My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector
A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh
The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift
There are two things that Jack Bauer never does. Show mercy, and go to the bathroom. - Kiefer Sutherland
First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin
The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer
Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman
I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope
I have had my television aerials removed. It is the moral equivalent of a prostate operation. - Malcolm Muggeridge
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles
At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin
When you’re a nurse you know that every day you will touch a life or a life will touch yours. - Unknown
I've posed nude for a photographer in the manner of Rodin's Thinker, but I looked merely constipated. - George Bernard Shaw
In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer
I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis
The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke
My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck
It is reasonable to expect the doctor to recognize that science may not have all the answers to problems of health and healing. - Norman Cousins
Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw
Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin
Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner
I see God in every human being. When I wash the leper's wounds, I feel I am nursing the Lord himself. Is it not a beautiful experience? - Mother Teresa
Paul Revere was warning the British about gun control, and George Washington apparently was crossing the Delaware to bomb an abortion clinic. - Bill Maher
We are here on Earth to fart around. - Kurt Vonnegut
The sexual act was never constipated. - Archie Bunker
An operation of the most extreme daring. - Alfred Jodl
The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker
My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck
I write poems like some people sing in the bathroom. - Amit Bhatia
Surgeon: The person who was a cut-up at medical school - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx
A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb
There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini
Every bathroom in my house will ultimately have a Toto bidet in it. - Ken Marino
Operation: A surgical job taking minutes to do and years to describe - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The last mosquito that bit me had to check into the Betty Ford clinic. - Joanna Lumley
My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector
A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh
The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift
There are two things that Jack Bauer never does. Show mercy, and go to the bathroom. - Kiefer Sutherland
First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin
The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer
Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman
I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope
I have had my television aerials removed. It is the moral equivalent of a prostate operation. - Malcolm Muggeridge
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles
At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin
When you’re a nurse you know that every day you will touch a life or a life will touch yours. - Unknown
I've posed nude for a photographer in the manner of Rodin's Thinker, but I looked merely constipated. - George Bernard Shaw
In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer
I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis
The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke
My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck
It is reasonable to expect the doctor to recognize that science may not have all the answers to problems of health and healing. - Norman Cousins
Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw
Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin
Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner
I see God in every human being. When I wash the leper's wounds, I feel I am nursing the Lord himself. Is it not a beautiful experience? - Mother Teresa
Paul Revere was warning the British about gun control, and George Washington apparently was crossing the Delaware to bomb an abortion clinic. - Bill Maher
see also Doctor & Music Sections
Acceptable Doctors Sign
Colon Celery
Colorectal Exam For Dogs
Colorectal Surgeon Praise
Congressional Limerick
Constipated Mathematician
Dog Proctologist
Fart Facts
First Proctologist Exam (PG)
German Flatulence Control
Japanese Diving Platform
Menopause Sucks
Proctologist Call
Proctologist’s Second-Hand Prescription
Psychiatrist’s Patient Advice
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17-Oct-2021 |