Singing Gynecologist

Gynecologist’s “tip”: whistle while you work


A new, young MD was doing his residency in gynecology. He was quite embarrassed performing female pelvic exams. To conceal his embarrassment he had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly.

A middle aged lady upon whom he was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassed him.

He looked up from his work and sheepishly said, “I’m sorry. Was I tickling you?”

She replied, “No Doctor, but the song you were whistling was ‘I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener.’ ”


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Maternity Hospital: An heirport - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

We are here on Earth to fart around. - Kurt Vonnegut

The sexual act was never constipated. - Archie Bunker

An operation of the most extreme daring. - Alfred Jodl

The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

I write poems like some people sing in the bathroom. - Amit Bhatia

Surgeon: The person who was a cut-up at medical school - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb

There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini

Every bathroom in my house will ultimately have a Toto bidet in it. - Ken Marino

Operation: A surgical job taking minutes to do and years to describe - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The last mosquito that bit me had to check into the Betty Ford clinic. - Joanna Lumley

My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

There are two things that Jack Bauer never does. Show mercy, and go to the bathroom. - Kiefer Sutherland

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope

I have had my television aerials removed. It is the moral equivalent of a prostate operation. - Malcolm Muggeridge

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin

When you’re a nurse you know that every day you will touch a life or a life will touch yours. - Unknown

I've posed nude for a photographer in the manner of Rodin's Thinker, but I looked merely constipated. - George Bernard Shaw

In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

It is reasonable to expect the doctor to recognize that science may not have all the answers to problems of health and healing. - Norman Cousins

Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw

Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

I see God in every human being. When I wash the leper's wounds, I feel I am nursing the Lord himself. Is it not a beautiful experience? - Mother Teresa

Paul Revere was warning the British about gun control, and George Washington apparently was crossing the Delaware to bomb an abortion clinic. - Bill Maher


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17-Oct-2021