A new, young MD was doing his residency in gynecology. He was quite embarrassed performing female pelvic exams. To conceal his embarrassment he had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly.
A middle aged lady upon whom he was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassed him.
He looked up from his work and sheepishly said, “I’m sorry. Was I tickling you?”
She replied, “No Doctor, but the song you were whistling was ‘I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener.’ ”
Caring is the essence of nursing. - Jean Watson
Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid
We are here on Earth to fart around. - Kurt Vonnegut
The sexual act was never constipated. - Archie Bunker
Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet
I left as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit. - Billy Connolly
I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards. - Henny Youngman
About half my time is spent on business operation type stuff. - Mark Zuckerberg
A nurse will always give us hope, an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets
The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller
Confucius say: "Man who want pretty nurse, must be patient." - Unknown
The last mosquito that bit me had to check into the Betty Ford clinic. - Joanna Lumley
My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector
My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. - Rodney Dangerfield
I started singing in the bathroom. Nothing was coming out. It was ghastly. - Rod Stewart
When it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain. - Graham Norton
A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh
Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield
I'd rather be able to face myself in the bathroom mirror than be rich and famous. - Ani DiFranco
At Disneyland, you never go 'backstage' - even when you're in the bathroom. - Hideo Kojima
I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx
I've just become a pensioner so I've started saving up for my own hospital trolley. - Tom Baker
Music Lover: A man, who upon hearing a soprano in the bathroom, puts his ear to the keyhole - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne
A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown
Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. - Richard M Nixon
I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail
With every bathroom renovation, there are three areas that I focus on: budget, function and style. - Candice Olson
At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin
When you’re a nurse you know that every day you will touch a life or a life will touch yours. - Unknown
For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones
The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick
The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke
My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck
A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown
Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin
Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner
I see God in every human being. When I wash the leper's wounds, I feel I am nursing the Lord himself. Is it not a beautiful experience? - Mother Teresa
When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield
Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid
We are here on Earth to fart around. - Kurt Vonnegut
The sexual act was never constipated. - Archie Bunker
Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet
I left as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit. - Billy Connolly
I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards. - Henny Youngman
About half my time is spent on business operation type stuff. - Mark Zuckerberg
A nurse will always give us hope, an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets
The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller
Confucius say: "Man who want pretty nurse, must be patient." - Unknown
The last mosquito that bit me had to check into the Betty Ford clinic. - Joanna Lumley
My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector
My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. - Rodney Dangerfield
I started singing in the bathroom. Nothing was coming out. It was ghastly. - Rod Stewart
When it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain. - Graham Norton
A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh
Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield
I'd rather be able to face myself in the bathroom mirror than be rich and famous. - Ani DiFranco
At Disneyland, you never go 'backstage' - even when you're in the bathroom. - Hideo Kojima
I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx
I've just become a pensioner so I've started saving up for my own hospital trolley. - Tom Baker
Music Lover: A man, who upon hearing a soprano in the bathroom, puts his ear to the keyhole - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne
A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown
Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. - Richard M Nixon
I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail
With every bathroom renovation, there are three areas that I focus on: budget, function and style. - Candice Olson
At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin
When you’re a nurse you know that every day you will touch a life or a life will touch yours. - Unknown
For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones
The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick
The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke
My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck
A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown
Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin
Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner
I see God in every human being. When I wash the leper's wounds, I feel I am nursing the Lord himself. Is it not a beautiful experience? - Mother Teresa
When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield
see also Doctor & Music Sections
Acceptable Doctors Sign
Colon Celery
Colorectal Exam For Dogs
Colorectal Surgeon Praise
Congressional Limerick
Constipated Mathematician
Dog Proctologist
Fart Facts
First Proctologist Exam (PG)
German Flatulence Control
Japanese Diving Platform
Menopause Sucks
Proctologist Call
Proctologist’s Second-Hand Prescription
Psychiatrist’s Patient Advice
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22-Jan-2021 |