Headline Stories

Make crime pay. Become a lawyer. - Will Rogers

The trouble with law is lawyers. - Clarence Darrow

Lawyers are merchants of misery. - Nancy Levit

Whenever law ends, tyranny begins. - John Locke

A lawsuit helps keep lawyers clothed. - Unknown

Lawsuits: Clothes worn by an attorney - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Don't judge your taco by its price. - Hunter S. Thompson

He is no lawyer who cannot take two sides. - Charles Lamb

Our ancestors ... were laborers, not lawyers. - Thomas Jefferson

I'm trusting in the Lord and a good lawyer. - Oliver North

Lawyers are men who hire out their words and anger. - Robert Christy

The law must be stable, but it must not stand still. - Roscoe Pound

Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy. - Groucho Marx

Good lawyers know the law. Great lawyers know the judge. - Unknown

Lawyers are men whom we hire to protect us from lawyers. - Elbert Hubbard

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx

Ambition is like hunger; it obeys no law but its appetite. - H.W. Shaw

Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect. - Unknown

What a cage is to the wild beast, law is to the selfish man. - Herbert Spencer

How many lawyer jokes are there? One, the rest are true stories. - Thomas F Shubnell

Adam was the luckiest man in the world - he had no mother-in-law. - Sholom Aleichem

Lawyers are like rabbits. They have a nasty habit of multiplying. - Leo Reilly

You can not stop the spread of an idea by passing a law against it. - Harry S Truman

Don't judge a book by its cover 'til you've read the book. - Jamie Lee Curtis

Lawyers are a bad lot... They cheat their living out of honest people. - Albert R Carman

If you have ten thousand regulations you destroy all respect for the law. - Winston Churchill

You cannot live without lawyers, and certainly you cannot die without them. - Joseph H Choate

The Second Law of Pies: they must be baked, not fried (or boiled, or steamed). - Janet Clarkson

Washington, D.C.: Where the criminals cover their crimes by making them legal. - Frank Dane

A lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth. - Patrick Murray

My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind. - Les Dawson

It is the trade of lawyers to question everything, yield nothing, and talk by the hour. - Thomas Jefferson

My husband and I had our best sex during our divorce. It was like cheating on our lawyers. - Priscilla Lopez

Law: an ordinance of reason for the common good, made by him who has care of the community. - Thomas Aquinas

If two friends ask you to judge a dispute, don't accept, because you will lose one friend. - St. Augustine

Lawyers are the only civil delinquents whose judges must of necessity be chosen from themselves. - Charles C Colton

We lawyers learn to study the faces of our witnesses, to form quick judgments, and to act upon them. - Lyman Abbott

Beware of lawyers and consultants and people who do not take risks and who do not get their hands dirty. - Felix G Rohatyn

Do not mind anything that anyone tells you about anyone else. Judge everyone and everything for yourself. - Henry James

The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up by a lawyer. - Will Rogers

No oppression is so heavy or lasting as that which is inflicted by the perversion and exorbitance of legal authority. - Joseph Addison

How lawyers make work for one another! You're all priests, worshipping the same god. No wonder you adore one another. - Joyce Carol Oates

Now we got a lawyer, we got civilization, which I understand to mean that a man has a chance to get rich without working. - Sinclair Lewis

If you want to kill an idea without being identified as the assassin, suggest that the legal department take a look at it. - Scott Adams

Men became scientific because they expected law in nature and they expected law in nature because they believed in a lawgiver. - Ravi Zacharias

I sometimes wish that people would put a little more emphasis upon the observance of the law than they do upon its enforcement. - Calvin Coolidge

In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. - John Adams

Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp

While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously. - Tim Allen

Lawyers are like unrequited lovers: you give them an inch, and they go for the whole nine yards; you take off one shoe, and they pull down your pants. - Andres Rueda