Headline Stories

Necessity hath no law. - Oliver Cromwell

Agree, for the law is costly. - William Camden

Judge me when you are perfect. - Unknown

Make crime pay. Become a lawyer. - Will Rogers

Position is nine-tenths of the law. - Archie Bunker

The good lawyer is the great salesman. - Janet Reno

Don't judge folks by their relatives. - Unknown

Law is order, and good law is good order. - Aristotle

Law cannot persuade where it cannot punish. - Thomas Fuller

What do you call a lawyer gone bad? Senator. - Marvin Lebman

Our ancestors ... were laborers, not lawyers. - Thomas Jefferson

I'm trusting in the Lord and a good lawyer. - Oliver North

Judge, could I, waddya call, encroach the bench? - Archie Bunker

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

Lawyers are men who hire out their words and anger. - Robert Christy

Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy. - Groucho Marx

It is an ill cause that the lawyer thinks shame o'. - John Ray

Law of Inflation: Whatever goes up will go up some more. - Kin Hubbard

I've never been in love. I've always been a lawyer. - Unknown

Books should be tried by a judge and jury as though they were crimes. - Samuel Butler

A lawyer is an odd sort of fish, first rotten, then green, then ripe. - Robert Christy

The United States is the greatest law factory the world has ever known. - Charles E Hughes

Lawyers are men who will swear black is white, if they are paid for it. - Edward Counsel

If you have ten thousand regulations you destroy all respect for the law. - Winston Churchill

He who will always be his own lawyer will often have a fool for a client. - J Hunter

True friends don't judge each other, they judge other people together. - Unknown

The only stable state is the one in which all men are equal before the law. - Aristotle

I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport. - Henny Youngman

Time is money, especially when you're talking to a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe-kster

A daughter needs a dad to be the standard against which she will judge all men. - Gregory E Lang

If a law is unjust, a man is not only right to disobey, he is obligated to do so. - Thomas Jefferson

Law of Biomechanics: The severity of any itch is inversely proportional to the reach - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Mob law does not become due process of law by securing the assent of a terrorized jury. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

Stock Split: When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If a man dies and leaves his estate in an uncertain condition, the lawyers become his heirs. - Edgar Watson Howe

Lawyers get you out'n the kind of trouble you'd never get in if there was no lawyers. - Ken Alstad

If two friends ask you to judge a dispute, don't accept, because you will lose one friend. - St. Augustine

Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again. - Nelson Mandela

Lawyers are the only civil delinquents whose judges must of necessity be chosen from themselves. - Charles C Colton

The law was made for one thing alone - for the exploitation of those who don't understand it. - Bertoit Brecht

Why don't you ever hear of a lawyer getting attacked by a shark at the beach? Professional courtesy. - Thomas F Shubnell

A lawyer's duty is to read the law well himself, then tell the people what it is, and let them act upon it. - Brigham Young

There is one kind of robber whom the law does not strike at, and who steals what is most precious to men: time. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Lawyers were notorious for finding cases in the most unlikely places, especially ones with huge potential damage awards. - Jodi Picoult

How lawyers make work for one another! You're all priests, worshipping the same god. No wonder you adore one another. - Joyce Carol Oates

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it was stupid. - Albert Einstein

Man has made 32 million laws since the Commandments were handed down to Moses on Mount Sinai... but he has never improved on God's law. - Cecil B. DeMille

Most people ask questions because they want to know the answer; lawyers are trained never to ask questions unless they already know the answer. - Lani Guinier

When you have police officers who abuse citizens, you erode public confidence in law enforcement. That makes the job of good police officers unsafe. - Mary F Berry

Lawyers are like unrequited lovers: you give them an inch, and they go for the whole nine yards; you take off one shoe, and they pull down your pants. - Andres Rueda