Headline Stories

Lawyer one-upmanship - on himself

Has your sister been a pain this week?



Attorney accidentally sues himself
What goes around comes around...


We had no idea anyone was buried there!


Civil War Planes? Where did I put those history books...


Please - if you’ve seen this man...


And you wonder why...


Don’t you hate those DOE guys who do the NEPA’s EIS on
BNFL’s AMWTP at INEEL after SRA protests?


Only in America...


What are the odds of that?


The real reason for Government sub-prime
mortgage debt write-offs...


Winner of a local dog look-alike contest -
he does look exactly like his dog!


Just a friendly reminder...


Just when you thought it was around age 20...


When the Supreme Court has Noah idea what it’s talking about...


An artist’s conception of a football field after an electrical
transformer failure, knocking out the stadium lights...


“I wouldn’t do it again,” says the hero.
“She’s been a pain this week.”



QuotaBills
Necessity hath no law. - Oliver Cromwell

Agree, for the law is costly. - William Camden

Judge me when you are perfect. - Unknown

Make crime pay. Become a lawyer. - Will Rogers

Position is nine-tenths of the law. - Archie Bunker

The good lawyer is the great salesman. - Janet Reno

Don't judge folks by their relatives. - Unknown

Law is order, and good law is good order. - Aristotle

Law cannot persuade where it cannot punish. - Thomas Fuller

What do you call a lawyer gone bad? Senator. - Marvin Lebman

Our ancestors ... were laborers, not lawyers. - Thomas Jefferson

I'm trusting in the Lord and a good lawyer. - Oliver North

Judge, could I, waddya call, encroach the bench? - Archie Bunker

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

Lawyers are men who hire out their words and anger. - Robert Christy

Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy. - Groucho Marx

It is an ill cause that the lawyer thinks shame o'. - John Ray

Law of Inflation: Whatever goes up will go up some more. - Kin Hubbard

I've never been in love. I've always been a lawyer. - Unknown

Books should be tried by a judge and jury as though they were crimes. - Samuel Butler

A lawyer is an odd sort of fish, first rotten, then green, then ripe. - Robert Christy

The United States is the greatest law factory the world has ever known. - Charles E Hughes

Lawyers are men who will swear black is white, if they are paid for it. - Edward Counsel

If you have ten thousand regulations you destroy all respect for the law. - Winston Churchill

He who will always be his own lawyer will often have a fool for a client. - J Hunter

True friends don't judge each other, they judge other people together. - Unknown

The only stable state is the one in which all men are equal before the law. - Aristotle

I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport. - Henny Youngman

Time is money, especially when you're talking to a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe-kster

A daughter needs a dad to be the standard against which she will judge all men. - Gregory E Lang

If a law is unjust, a man is not only right to disobey, he is obligated to do so. - Thomas Jefferson

Law of Biomechanics: The severity of any itch is inversely proportional to the reach - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Mob law does not become due process of law by securing the assent of a terrorized jury. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

Stock Split: When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If a man dies and leaves his estate in an uncertain condition, the lawyers become his heirs. - Edgar Watson Howe

Lawyers get you out'n the kind of trouble you'd never get in if there was no lawyers. - Ken Alstad

If two friends ask you to judge a dispute, don't accept, because you will lose one friend. - St. Augustine

Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again. - Nelson Mandela

Lawyers are the only civil delinquents whose judges must of necessity be chosen from themselves. - Charles C Colton

The law was made for one thing alone - for the exploitation of those who don't understand it. - Bertoit Brecht

Why don't you ever hear of a lawyer getting attacked by a shark at the beach? Professional courtesy. - Thomas F Shubnell

A lawyer's duty is to read the law well himself, then tell the people what it is, and let them act upon it. - Brigham Young

There is one kind of robber whom the law does not strike at, and who steals what is most precious to men: time. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Lawyers were notorious for finding cases in the most unlikely places, especially ones with huge potential damage awards. - Jodi Picoult

How lawyers make work for one another! You're all priests, worshipping the same god. No wonder you adore one another. - Joyce Carol Oates

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it was stupid. - Albert Einstein

Man has made 32 million laws since the Commandments were handed down to Moses on Mount Sinai... but he has never improved on God's law. - Cecil B. DeMille

Most people ask questions because they want to know the answer; lawyers are trained never to ask questions unless they already know the answer. - Lani Guinier

When you have police officers who abuse citizens, you erode public confidence in law enforcement. That makes the job of good police officers unsafe. - Mary F Berry

Lawyers are like unrequited lovers: you give them an inch, and they go for the whole nine yards; you take off one shoe, and they pull down your pants. - Andres Rueda


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08-Dec-2021