Headline Stories

Lawyer one-upmanship - on himself

Has your sister been a pain this week?



Attorney accidentally sues himself
What goes around comes around...


We had no idea anyone was buried there!


Civil War Planes? Where did I put those history books...


Please - if you’ve seen this man...


And you wonder why...


Don’t you hate those DOE guys who do the NEPA’s EIS on
BNFL’s AMWTP at INEEL after SRA protests?


Only in America...


What are the odds of that?


The real reason for Government sub-prime
mortgage debt write-offs...


Winner of a local dog look-alike contest -
he does look exactly like his dog!


Just a friendly reminder...


Just when you thought it was around age 20...


When the Supreme Court has Noah idea what it’s talking about...


An artist’s conception of a football field after an electrical
transformer failure, knocking out the stadium lights...


“I wouldn’t do it again,” says the hero.
“She’s been a pain this week.”



QuotaBills
Make crime pay. Become a lawyer. - Will Rogers

The trouble with law is lawyers. - Clarence Darrow

Lawyers are merchants of misery. - Nancy Levit

Whenever law ends, tyranny begins. - John Locke

A lawsuit helps keep lawyers clothed. - Unknown

Lawsuits: Clothes worn by an attorney - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Don't judge your taco by its price. - Hunter S. Thompson

He is no lawyer who cannot take two sides. - Charles Lamb

Our ancestors ... were laborers, not lawyers. - Thomas Jefferson

I'm trusting in the Lord and a good lawyer. - Oliver North

Lawyers are men who hire out their words and anger. - Robert Christy

The law must be stable, but it must not stand still. - Roscoe Pound

Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy. - Groucho Marx

Good lawyers know the law. Great lawyers know the judge. - Unknown

Lawyers are men whom we hire to protect us from lawyers. - Elbert Hubbard

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx

Ambition is like hunger; it obeys no law but its appetite. - H.W. Shaw

Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect. - Unknown

What a cage is to the wild beast, law is to the selfish man. - Herbert Spencer

How many lawyer jokes are there? One, the rest are true stories. - Thomas F Shubnell

Adam was the luckiest man in the world - he had no mother-in-law. - Sholom Aleichem

Lawyers are like rabbits. They have a nasty habit of multiplying. - Leo Reilly

You can not stop the spread of an idea by passing a law against it. - Harry S Truman

Don't judge a book by its cover 'til you've read the book. - Jamie Lee Curtis

Lawyers are a bad lot... They cheat their living out of honest people. - Albert R Carman

If you have ten thousand regulations you destroy all respect for the law. - Winston Churchill

You cannot live without lawyers, and certainly you cannot die without them. - Joseph H Choate

The Second Law of Pies: they must be baked, not fried (or boiled, or steamed). - Janet Clarkson

Washington, D.C.: Where the criminals cover their crimes by making them legal. - Frank Dane

A lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth. - Patrick Murray

My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind. - Les Dawson

It is the trade of lawyers to question everything, yield nothing, and talk by the hour. - Thomas Jefferson

My husband and I had our best sex during our divorce. It was like cheating on our lawyers. - Priscilla Lopez

Law: an ordinance of reason for the common good, made by him who has care of the community. - Thomas Aquinas

If two friends ask you to judge a dispute, don't accept, because you will lose one friend. - St. Augustine

Lawyers are the only civil delinquents whose judges must of necessity be chosen from themselves. - Charles C Colton

We lawyers learn to study the faces of our witnesses, to form quick judgments, and to act upon them. - Lyman Abbott

Beware of lawyers and consultants and people who do not take risks and who do not get their hands dirty. - Felix G Rohatyn

Do not mind anything that anyone tells you about anyone else. Judge everyone and everything for yourself. - Henry James

The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up by a lawyer. - Will Rogers

No oppression is so heavy or lasting as that which is inflicted by the perversion and exorbitance of legal authority. - Joseph Addison

How lawyers make work for one another! You're all priests, worshipping the same god. No wonder you adore one another. - Joyce Carol Oates

Now we got a lawyer, we got civilization, which I understand to mean that a man has a chance to get rich without working. - Sinclair Lewis

If you want to kill an idea without being identified as the assassin, suggest that the legal department take a look at it. - Scott Adams

Men became scientific because they expected law in nature and they expected law in nature because they believed in a lawgiver. - Ravi Zacharias

I sometimes wish that people would put a little more emphasis upon the observance of the law than they do upon its enforcement. - Calvin Coolidge

In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. - John Adams

Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp

While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously. - Tim Allen

Lawyers are like unrequited lovers: you give them an inch, and they go for the whole nine yards; you take off one shoe, and they pull down your pants. - Andres Rueda


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30-Oct-2020