Near Frankenmuth, Michigan, there’s a large German-speaking, Lutheran population.
A farmer walking down a country road notices a man drinking from his pond with his hand.
The farmer shouted: “Trink das wasser nicht. Die kuhen haben dahin gesheissen.”
Which means: “Don’t drink the water, the cows have crapped in it.”
The man shouted back, “I’m from Washington D.C. and I’m up here campaigning for Obama’s health care plan - I can’t understand you. Please speak in English.”
The farmer replied, “Use both hands; you’ll get more water that way.”
Save water - drink vodka. - Unknown
My drinking team has a sailing problem. - Unknown
Hard Water: The scientific name for ice - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Sometimes too much drink is barely enough. - Mark Twain
The conscious water saw its Master and blushed. - Alexander Pope
Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson
Those who drink to forget, please pay in advance. - Irish Saying
Big ships can only be launched where the water is deep. - Amish Saying
Restore a man to his health, his purse lies open to thee. - Robert Burton
He who enjoys good health is rich, though he knows it not. - Italian Proverb
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. - Mitch Hedberg
Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid
Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water! - Groucho Marx
I moved to Florida because you don't have to shovel water. - James Randi
You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him float. - Unknown
Live in the sunshine
Swim in the sea
Drink the wild air - Ralph Waldo Emerson
I drink too much. Last time I gave a urine sample there was an olive in it. - Rodney Dangerfield
I never drink coffee at lunch - I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon. - Ronald Reagan
Watermelon - it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face. - Enrico Caruso
In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin
When ya go out there in the water and ya start crossing your longirudes and lassitudes. - Archie Bunker
The dignity of movement of an iceberg is due to only one ninth of it being above water. - Ernest Hemingway
We should be as water, which is lower than all things yet stronger even than the rocks. - Sioux Proverb
A little learning is a dangerous thing
Drink deep, or taste not the Pierian spring. - Alexander Pope
Cheerfulness is the best promoter of health and is as friendly to the mind as to the body. - Joseph Addison
Before enlightenment: chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment: chop wood, carry water. - Zen Buddhist Saying
My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass. - Leslie Grimutter
If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman
Like a camel, I can go without a drink for seven days - and have on several horrible occasions. - Herb Caen
If the rain spoils our picnic, but saves a farmer's crop, who are we to say it shouldn't rain? - Tom Barrett
They have gun control in Cuba. They have universal health care in Cuba. So why do they want to come here? - Paul Harvey
It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield
I don't really drink sodas, but when I have popcorn or pizza I need a little. It's the perfect combination. - Alessandra Ambrosio
Be like a duck, paddling and working very hard inside the water, but what everyone sees is a smiling and calm face. - Manoj Arora
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin
It was so quiet, a reservation kind of quiet, where you can hear somebody drinking whiskey on the rocks three miles away. - Sherman Alexie
Even a race to Obama, she was gonna beat Obama. I don't know who would be worse, I don't know, how could it be worse? - Donald Trump
Menopause is thicker than water. When we talk and laugh about it, we learn and relax. It's a life transition, not a disease. - Unknown
Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields
Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary. However, I looked it up on whiskeypedia and learned if you drink too much of it, it's likely tequilya. - Unknown
My drinking team has a sailing problem. - Unknown
Hard Water: The scientific name for ice - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Sometimes too much drink is barely enough. - Mark Twain
The conscious water saw its Master and blushed. - Alexander Pope
Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson
Those who drink to forget, please pay in advance. - Irish Saying
Big ships can only be launched where the water is deep. - Amish Saying
Restore a man to his health, his purse lies open to thee. - Robert Burton
He who enjoys good health is rich, though he knows it not. - Italian Proverb
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. - Mitch Hedberg
Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid
Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water! - Groucho Marx
I moved to Florida because you don't have to shovel water. - James Randi
You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him float. - Unknown
Live in the sunshine
Swim in the sea
Drink the wild air - Ralph Waldo Emerson
I drink too much. Last time I gave a urine sample there was an olive in it. - Rodney Dangerfield
I never drink coffee at lunch - I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon. - Ronald Reagan
Watermelon - it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face. - Enrico Caruso
In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin
When ya go out there in the water and ya start crossing your longirudes and lassitudes. - Archie Bunker
The dignity of movement of an iceberg is due to only one ninth of it being above water. - Ernest Hemingway
We should be as water, which is lower than all things yet stronger even than the rocks. - Sioux Proverb
A little learning is a dangerous thing
Drink deep, or taste not the Pierian spring. - Alexander Pope
Cheerfulness is the best promoter of health and is as friendly to the mind as to the body. - Joseph Addison
Before enlightenment: chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment: chop wood, carry water. - Zen Buddhist Saying
My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass. - Leslie Grimutter
If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman
Like a camel, I can go without a drink for seven days - and have on several horrible occasions. - Herb Caen
If the rain spoils our picnic, but saves a farmer's crop, who are we to say it shouldn't rain? - Tom Barrett
They have gun control in Cuba. They have universal health care in Cuba. So why do they want to come here? - Paul Harvey
It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield
I don't really drink sodas, but when I have popcorn or pizza I need a little. It's the perfect combination. - Alessandra Ambrosio
Be like a duck, paddling and working very hard inside the water, but what everyone sees is a smiling and calm face. - Manoj Arora
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin
It was so quiet, a reservation kind of quiet, where you can hear somebody drinking whiskey on the rocks three miles away. - Sherman Alexie
Even a race to Obama, she was gonna beat Obama. I don't know who would be worse, I don't know, how could it be worse? - Donald Trump
Menopause is thicker than water. When we talk and laugh about it, we learn and relax. It's a life transition, not a disease. - Unknown
Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields
Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary. However, I looked it up on whiskeypedia and learned if you drink too much of it, it's likely tequilya. - Unknown
see also Farm & Political Sections
ACHTUNG!
Bier Making Oudfit - Balancin Schtatement
Farmer's Pond Advice for Youngsters
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