Near Frankenmuth, Michigan, there’s a large German-speaking, Lutheran population.
A farmer walking down a country road notices a man drinking from his pond with his hand.
The farmer shouted: “Trink das wasser nicht. Die kuhen haben dahin gesheissen.”
Which means: “Don’t drink the water, the cows have crapped in it.”
The man shouted back, “I’m from Washington D.C. and I’m up here campaigning for Obama’s health care plan - I can’t understand you. Please speak in English.”
The farmer replied, “Use both hands; you’ll get more water that way.”
He was gotten in drink. - William Shakespeare
Water is the only drink for a wise man. - Henry David Thoreau
Happiness is health and a short memory. - Unknown
Hard Water: The scientific name for ice - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I drink to make other people interesting. - Groucho Marx
Water that does not move is always shallow. - Sami Proverb
A mixture of brandy and water spoils two good things. - Charles Lamb
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. - Mitch Hedberg
You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him float. - Unknown
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain
Love and work are to people, what water and sunshine are to plants. - Jonathan Haidt
The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn't still be a farmer. - Will Rodgers
I don't have a drinking problem. Except when I can't get a drink. - Tom Waits
I never drink coffee at lunch - I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon. - Ronald Reagan
The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl. - Dave Barry
Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies. - Nelson Mandela
Health care's not about insurance! Health care's about getting treatment. - P.J. O'Rourke
Warm Water Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I recently became a Christian Scientist. It was the only health plan I could afford. - Betsy Salkind
People don't trust private health insurance companies for all the right reasons. - Bernie Sanders
When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water. - Unknown
Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way to drink for a living. - Jean Kerr
Smart people that like good health spend several hours outdoors daily in the shade of trees. - Steven Magee
My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass. - Leslie Grimutter
Most whale photos you see show whales in this beautiful blue water - it's almost like space. - Brian Skerry
It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield
The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull
I'm a farm boy. If we need five people to haul in hay, we don't take one and just work them to death. - Lincoln Davis
In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer
My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth. - George Burns
Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden
The Republicans have all of the cards. And this is the time to get rid of Obamacare. This is the time to make the great deal. - Donald Trump
How come if you mix flour and water together you get glue? And when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go? - Rita Rudner
Love would never be a promise of a rose garden unless it is showered with light of faith, water of sincerity and air of passion. - Unknown
Live in each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influences of each. - Henry David Thoreau
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain
Every essential oil has a healing purpose. I think it's a great gift because it's something that elevates your mood and your health. - Yolanda Hadid
Memory is a net: one finds it full of fish when he takes it from the brook, but a dozen miles of water have run through it without sticking. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
When I get through tearing a lobster apart, or one of those tender West Coast octopuses, I feel like I had a drink from the fountain of youth. - Joseph Mitchell
Water is the only drink for a wise man. - Henry David Thoreau
Happiness is health and a short memory. - Unknown
Hard Water: The scientific name for ice - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I drink to make other people interesting. - Groucho Marx
Water that does not move is always shallow. - Sami Proverb
A mixture of brandy and water spoils two good things. - Charles Lamb
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. - Mitch Hedberg
You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him float. - Unknown
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain
Love and work are to people, what water and sunshine are to plants. - Jonathan Haidt
The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn't still be a farmer. - Will Rodgers
I don't have a drinking problem. Except when I can't get a drink. - Tom Waits
I never drink coffee at lunch - I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon. - Ronald Reagan
The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl. - Dave Barry
Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies. - Nelson Mandela
Health care's not about insurance! Health care's about getting treatment. - P.J. O'Rourke
Warm Water Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I recently became a Christian Scientist. It was the only health plan I could afford. - Betsy Salkind
People don't trust private health insurance companies for all the right reasons. - Bernie Sanders
When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water. - Unknown
Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way to drink for a living. - Jean Kerr
Smart people that like good health spend several hours outdoors daily in the shade of trees. - Steven Magee
My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass. - Leslie Grimutter
Most whale photos you see show whales in this beautiful blue water - it's almost like space. - Brian Skerry
It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield
The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull
I'm a farm boy. If we need five people to haul in hay, we don't take one and just work them to death. - Lincoln Davis
In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer
My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth. - George Burns
Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden
The Republicans have all of the cards. And this is the time to get rid of Obamacare. This is the time to make the great deal. - Donald Trump
How come if you mix flour and water together you get glue? And when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go? - Rita Rudner
Love would never be a promise of a rose garden unless it is showered with light of faith, water of sincerity and air of passion. - Unknown
Live in each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influences of each. - Henry David Thoreau
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain
Every essential oil has a healing purpose. I think it's a great gift because it's something that elevates your mood and your health. - Yolanda Hadid
Memory is a net: one finds it full of fish when he takes it from the brook, but a dozen miles of water have run through it without sticking. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
When I get through tearing a lobster apart, or one of those tender West Coast octopuses, I feel like I had a drink from the fountain of youth. - Joseph Mitchell
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