The Recession

Leading economic indicators in today’s economy


My neighbor got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can’t afford batteries.

CEOs are now playing miniature golf.

Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.

I saw a Mormon with only one wife.

If the bank returns your check marked “Insufficient Funds” you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

McDonald’s is selling the 1/4 ounce.

Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.

Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children’s name.

My cousin had an exorcism but couldn’t afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her.

A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.

A picture is now only worth 200 words.

When Bill and Hillary travel together they now have to share a room.

The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.

Congress says they are looking into the Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!


QuotaBills
Support the right to arm bears. - Unknown

Private jets cost a lot of money. - Donald Trump

Nobody every lost money taking a profit. - Bernard Baruch

No man's credit is as good as his money. - Ed Howe

Don't marry for money; divorce for money. - Wendy Liebman

If you marry for money you will earn every penny. - Dr. Phil McGraw

Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo. - Groucho Marx

Don't marry for money, you can borrow it cheaper. - Scottish Saying

A father carries pictures where his money used to be. - Steve Martin

The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart. - WC Fields

Character is the root of the tree; conduct, the fruit it bears. - E.M. Bounds

I not only use all the brains that I have, but all that I can borrow. - Woodrow Wilson

The only point in making money is, you can tell some big shot where to go. - Humphrey Bogart

I don't think about financial success as the measurement of my success. - Christie Hefner

The flood of money that gushes into politics today is a pollution of democracy. - Theodore White

Enthusiasm is the greatest asset in the world. It beats money and power and influence. - Henry Chester

Money can't buy you happiness? Well, check this out: I bought myself a happy meal. - Paul F Taylor

Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping. - Bo Derek

People don't mind if you have a lot of money if they know you're working for it. - Jay Leno

At the heart of the Irish economy has always been the philosophy of tax competitiveness. - Bono

Half the money I spend on advertising is wasted; the trouble is, I don't know which half. - John Wannamaker

Tradition is what you resort to when you don't have the time or the money to do it right. - Kurt H Adler

Gorilla tourism is vital to Rwanda's economy: It's the third highest source of income. - Andy Serkis

Every two months, I would get an email, 'Skeleton Twins update: still don't have the money!' - Bill Hader

When I was young, I thought that money was the most important thing in life; now that I am old, I know it is. - Oscar Wilde

America is the country where you can buy a lifetime supply of aspirin for a dollar and use it up in two weeks. - Barrymore

We are going as fast as we can as soon as we can. We're in a race against time, until we run out of money. - Jack Nicholson

The vine bears three kinds of grapes: the first of pleasure, the second of intoxication, the third of disgust. - Diogenes

I don't make deals for the money. I've got enough, much more than I'll ever need. I do it to do it. - Donald Trump

Work like you don't need the money, dance like no one is watching, and love like you've never been hurt. - Mark Twain

Anything which is physically possible can always be made financially possible; money is a bugaboo of small minds. - Robert A. Heinlein

No one has yet had the courage to memorialize his wealth on his tombstone. A dollar mark would not look well there. - Corra May Harris

Watching your daughter being collected by her date feels like handing over a million dollar Stradivarius to a gorilla. - Jim Bishop

People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made. - Joan Rivers

We are all born with a grab bag on gifts and gaps. Identify your true talents, then find out how to use them to make money. - Bill O'Reilly

Economy is going without something you do want in case, perhaps, you should someday want something you probably won't want. - Anthony Hope

A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine; something Brussels Sprouts never do. - P.J. O'Rourke

Money isn't the most important thing in life, but it's reasonably close to oxygen on the "gotta have it" scale. - Zig Ziglar

What's money? A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do. - Bob Dylan

The politicians in Washington are spending trillions of dollars of our money. When are Americans going to stand up and say enough is enough? - Joe Wurzelbacher


see also   Business,  Finance  &  Stress   Sections
Read My Lipstick
Recession Boss
Recession Cutbacks
Standard & Poor’s Downgrade

 

Hairy Potter

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Crosswalk Casualty

The Tree Is Up, Dear

One Too Many

Owl Garden

GhetToes

Statue Pose

Magnetic Personality

Giant Texas Red Centipede

Snow Barrier

Buddhist Tempull

Truck Lift Repair

In-Spired Safety Tip

Secruity Parking Spot

Only In Thailand - Time To Clean The Pet Snake

Remote Outdoors

Scaffolding for the Dirt Cheap Contractor

Fix It Later Detour

I Smell A Rat
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

01-Dec-2020