The Recession

Leading economic indicators in today’s economy


My neighbor got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can’t afford batteries.

CEOs are now playing miniature golf.

Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.

I saw a Mormon with only one wife.

If the bank returns your check marked “Insufficient Funds” you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

McDonald’s is selling the 1/4 ounce.

Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.

Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children’s name.

My cousin had an exorcism but couldn’t afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her.

A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.

A picture is now only worth 200 words.

When Bill and Hillary travel together they now have to share a room.

The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.

Congress says they are looking into the Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!


QuotaBills
Support the right to arm bears. - Unknown

Private jets cost a lot of money. - Donald Trump

A TV licence is a licence to print money. - Roy Thomson

Money won is twice as sweet as money earned. - Martin Scorsese

Friendship is like money, easier made than kept. - Samuel Butler

All money is tainted, tain't none of it mine. - Thomas F. McGuire

Money no longer talks. It just goes without saying. - George Humphrey

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? - George Carlin

Enjoy money while you have it. Shrouds don't have pockets. - Virginia Esberg

The rich would have to eat money if the poor did not provide food. - Russia Proverb

I don't trust a bank that would lend money to such a poor risk. - Robert Benchley

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy. - Spike Milligan

I not only use all the brains that I have, but all that I can borrow. - Woodrow Wilson

How much money does it take to make a man happy? Just one more dollar. - John D. Rockefeller

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something. - Jackie Mason

The man who never has money to pay his debts has too much of something else. - J.L. Basford

I want to be a millionaire not for the money but for the woman I will become. - Jaime Tardy

It's not the bulls or the bears you need to avoid, it's the bum steers. - Chuck Hillis

Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated. - Will Rogers

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more. (Friend or Money!) - Unknown

It's better to do nothing with your money than something you don't understand. - Suze Orman

If you don't know who you are, the stock market is an expensive place to find out. - George Goodman

People don't mind if you have a lot of money if they know you're working for it. - Jay Leno

Money can't buy you happiness... but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery. - Spike Milligan

Gorilla tourism is vital to Rwanda's economy: It's the third highest source of income. - Andy Serkis

Money can't buy happiness. But, it can buy a chocolate, which is pretty much the same thing. - Hanako Ishii

It is not the employer who pays wages; he only handles the money. It is the product that pays wages. - Henry Ford

We shouldn't spend money on things we don't need when others don't have the things they do. - Peter Singer

There is not Communism or Marxism, but representative democracy and social justice in a well-planned economy. - Fidel Castro

I don't make deals for the money. I've got enough, much more than I'll ever need. I do it to do it. - Donald Trump

When I was young I thought that money was the most important thing in life; now that I am old I know that it is. - Oscar Wilde

The only security men can have for their political liberty, consists in keeping their money in their own pockets. - Lysander Spooner

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

Keeping books on social aid is capitalistic nonsense. I just use the money for the poor. I can't stop to count it. - Evita Peron

I've never sought success in order to get fame and money; it's the talent and the passion that count in success. - Ingrid Bergman

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. - Sam Ewing

Street League Skateboarding is the premier professional skateboarding league in the world, with the biggest prize money in history. - Rob Dyrdek

Only when the last tree has withered, and the last fish caught, and the last river been poisoned, will we realize we cannot eat money. - Cree Proverb

Money is like gasoline during a road trip. You don't want to run out of gas on your trip, but you're not doing a tour of gas stations. - Tim O'Reilly

I deal with foreign countries. I made a lot of money dealing against China. I've made a lot of money dealing against many other countries. - Donald Trump


see also   Business,  Finance  &  Stress   Sections
Read My Lipstick
Recession Boss
Recession Cutbacks
Standard & Poor’s Downgrade

 

Cold Corners

Swiss Minigun

Underwater Plane

Fire Destroyed

Groj Sale

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

You May Pet Me

Whatever Time

Cutting Off Board

Car Swarm

We Open

Cloud Computing

Feather Fashion

Nitrate

Proper English

Winter SOS

Canadian Driving Perk

Radio Shack Closes Down

Lunch Apple

Country Office
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12-Dec-2019