Leading economic indicators in today’s economy
My neighbor got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can’t afford batteries.
CEOs are now playing miniature golf.
Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.
I saw a Mormon with only one wife.
If the bank returns your check marked “Insufficient Funds” you call them and ask if they meant you or them.
McDonald’s is selling the 1/4 ounce.
Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.
Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children’s name.
My cousin had an exorcism but couldn’t afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her.
A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.
A picture is now only worth 200 words.
When Bill and Hillary travel together they now have to share a room.
The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.
Congress says they are looking into the Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!
Support the right to arm bears. - Unknown
Private jets cost a lot of money. - Donald Trump
A TV licence is a licence to print money. - Roy Thomson
Money won is twice as sweet as money earned. - Martin Scorsese
Friendship is like money, easier made than kept. - Samuel Butler
All money is tainted, tain't none of it mine. - Thomas F. McGuire
Money no longer talks. It just goes without saying. - George Humphrey
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? - George Carlin
Enjoy money while you have it. Shrouds don't have pockets. - Virginia Esberg
The rich would have to eat money if the poor did not provide food. - Russia Proverb
I don't trust a bank that would lend money to such a poor risk. - Robert Benchley
All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy. - Spike Milligan
I not only use all the brains that I have, but all that I can borrow. - Woodrow Wilson
How much money does it take to make a man happy? Just one more dollar. - John D. Rockefeller
I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something. - Jackie Mason
The man who never has money to pay his debts has too much of something else. - J.L. Basford
I want to be a millionaire not for the money but for the woman I will become. - Jaime Tardy
It's not the bulls or the bears you need to avoid, it's the bum steers. - Chuck Hillis
Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated. - Will Rogers
Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more. (Friend or Money!) - Unknown
It's better to do nothing with your money than something you don't understand. - Suze Orman
If you don't know who you are, the stock market is an expensive place to find out. - George Goodman
People don't mind if you have a lot of money if they know you're working for it. - Jay Leno
Money can't buy you happiness... but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery. - Spike Milligan
Gorilla tourism is vital to Rwanda's economy: It's the third highest source of income. - Andy Serkis
Money can't buy happiness. But, it can buy a chocolate, which is pretty much the same thing. - Hanako Ishii
It is not the employer who pays wages; he only handles the money. It is the product that pays wages. - Henry Ford
We shouldn't spend money on things we don't need when others don't have the things they do. - Peter Singer
There is not Communism or Marxism, but representative democracy and social justice in a well-planned economy. - Fidel Castro
I don't make deals for the money. I've got enough, much more than I'll ever need. I do it to do it. - Donald Trump
When I was young I thought that money was the most important thing in life; now that I am old I know that it is. - Oscar Wilde
The only security men can have for their political liberty, consists in keeping their money in their own pockets. - Lysander Spooner
Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown
Keeping books on social aid is capitalistic nonsense. I just use the money for the poor. I can't stop to count it. - Evita Peron
I've never sought success in order to get fame and money; it's the talent and the passion that count in success. - Ingrid Bergman
Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. - Sam Ewing
Street League Skateboarding is the premier professional skateboarding league in the world, with the biggest prize money in history. - Rob Dyrdek
Only when the last tree has withered, and the last fish caught, and the last river been poisoned, will we realize we cannot eat money. - Cree Proverb
Money is like gasoline during a road trip. You don't want to run out of gas on your trip, but you're not doing a tour of gas stations. - Tim O'Reilly
I deal with foreign countries. I made a lot of money dealing against China. I've made a lot of money dealing against many other countries. - Donald Trump
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