The four Goldberg brothers, Lowell, Norman, Hiram, and Maxwell, invented and developed the first automobile air-conditioner. Fjord: Norwegian car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com Khaki: A thing for starting a car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker I am Irish as a person, but I feel Jewish as an actor. - Harrison Ford Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines. - David Letterman Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it. - Henny Youngman She died doing what she loved, taking a selfie in traffic. - Unknown I'm Jewish, so I don't know much about Easter eggs. - Simon Kinberg You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck Ford used to have a better idea; now they don't have a clue. - Steve Kravitz That Gerald Ford. He can't fart and chew gum at the same time. - Lyndon B. Johnson Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore We all thought we'd have flying cars by now, but we don't. - Dana Brunetti To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner The last mosquito that bit me had to check into the Betty Ford clinic. - Joanna Lumley A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow Jerry Ford is a nice guy, but he played too much football with his helmet off. - Lyndon Baines Johnson You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker This is a Jewish cake - they give this to a Jewish kid before he gets circumscribed. - Archie Bunker Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. - Rodney Dangerfield Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright Coming from Canada, being a writer and Jewish as well, I have impeccable paranoia credentials. - Mordecai Richler HonkoSecond: The time between the light turning green and the sound from the car horn behind you - Daffynitions joe-ks.com A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries Golden Age: When the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com President Ford tells us all to bite the bullet and Betsy Ford goes on TV and shoots off her mouth. - Archie Bunker Police officers may drive black and white cars, however what goes on in their job is a lot of gray. - Arik Matson I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies. - Milton Berle I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino I have drawn inspiration from the Marine Corps, the Jewish struggle in Palestine and Israel, and the Irish. - Leon Uris Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson This is the real enemy, the invader from the East, the Druze, the ruffian, the oriental parasite; in a word: the Jew. - George Bernard Shaw For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi The actual building of roads devoted to motor cars is not for the near future, in spite of many rumors to that effect. - Harper's Weekly A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare Every year during their High Holy Days, the Jewish community reminds us all of our need for repentance and forgiveness. - Billy Graham Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman Passover and Easter are the only Jewish and Christian holidays that move in sync, like the ice skating pairs we saw during the winter Olympics. - Marvin Olasky When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright Car Pool: Complicated system of transportation where Mom always winds up going the furthest with the biggest bunch of kids who have had the most sugar - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
see also
Car Section |
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